


Born of Fire

by Nix Nivalis (Risika13)



Series: Of Gods and Daemons [2]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Post-InuYasha, Romance, Sexual Content, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2019-09-20 16:24:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 149,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17026080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Risika13/pseuds/Nix%20Nivalis
Summary: Sequel to The Odds of Fate.Several months have gone by since the birth of his niece and his nearly botched proposal, but there is still much for our young daiyoukai to learn about what it means to take a daughter of the Mother Goddess as his wife. With the knowledge that one day the Princes of Death will seek retribution, Sesshomaru does what he can to prepare for the coming war. But how can he hope to fulfill his role as Protector of the Guardian when the greatest threat comes from within?And when Lucidity finds herself with the weight of unexpected responsibilities on her shoulders, she is conflicted between her duties as the East and a life she never believed could be hers. Together, she and Sesshomaru delve into the realm of gods and Guardians in the never ending battle to preserve the balance between life and death.





	1. Chapter 1

There was blood in the water.

Heavy, copious amounts of blood that seeped from several injuries. With the brutal pressure of the ocean held at bay by a simple barrier of energy, the Guardian severed the tentacles of the sea monster and heard its wail of agonized fury reverberate through the waters. The thick, dark ooze of its own blood joined its fallen limbs on the soggy floor of the ocean that the Guardian stood upon, the air swirling around her form, so much smaller than that of her opponent. But the sea monster had not learned its lesson that size didn't matter in this case and struck yet again. The Guardian was starting to lose count at this point and was surprised that it hadn't run out of parts to hack off.

By the gods, how she hated being in the water! It made her slow, an easy target, even in her protective shell, which the sea monster had so far used to its advantage, a matter she had underestimated. The sheer strength of its tentacles pierced through the barrier as if it was nothing more than a curtain of paper, and the Guardian raised her sword once more, gripping with only one hand, as the other hung useless at her side, compliments of the seeping wound that was her shoulder.

* * *

It was staring at him.

Large yellow eyes were fixed, unblinking, upon his face, peeking up through a mop of dark hair. He glimpsed the sight of fangs sticking out of its mostly toothless mouth as it grinned widely at him. Tiny claws scraped at his hands while the legs kicked out. It let out a high pitch noise that was not quite a laugh, and then reached out. A pudgy fist managed to seize a lock of his hair before he was able to pull away and he frowned as it delighted itself with a new game of tug. Mindful of what his own claws touched, he shifted his grip so that he held it by the back of its clothing, pried the fingers off with his other hand, and swept his hair free, even as it made another grabbing motion in his direction.

Damn that priestess! Where had she gone? How dare she leave him with this thing! He was not here for her convenience. She had no business forcing this creature on him. He did not have the means to care for it, nor the interest to do so. With a growl of frustration, he set it on the ground in front of him, only for it to lift its head and grab a fistful of his hakama. Had it been Jaken, he would have kicked the thing down the hill for being so irritating. As it were, he could only endure until its mother returned.

"Oi! Sesshomaru! What are you doing here?"

Or the father.

In the overhead branches of the tree he rested against, Sesshomaru heard-and smelled-the arrival of Inuyasha long before the hanyou jumped down into his field of vision. Inuyasha looked between the daiyoukai and the thing near his foot, which was currently attempting to chew on his hakama. Sesshomaru gave his younger brother little more than a perfunctory glance, arms folded within his sleeves, before he peered out at the landscape, where he could see a procession of people gathered on the far side of the village, the faint resonating of bells and chanting rising from their midst, almost lost to the winds even for his ears.

"Why do you have Asami?" asked Inuyasha. "Where's Kagome?" 

"She saw fit to abandon the infant here when the old priestess called her away," Sesshomaru said as he ignored the insistent tugging on his leg. 

"Ah, that's right. The burial for that girl is today," Inuyasha muttered. "But Sango was supposed to be the one to watch-" 

The sudden sound of tearing fabric silenced Inuyasha, who slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a noise that would have had him killed on the spot. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, waiting a moment or two before he spoke. "Get your beast away from me, hanyou." 

There was no answer, only the heavy clearing of a throat. And then something was pulling against his hakama. Sesshomaru looked over to see the infant being lifted up, her hands and mouth still clamped tightly to the material before Inuyasha was able to loosen her grip and brought her to lay in the crook of one arm. "When did your fangs get so sharp?" he asked, though she could not possibly provide an answer, as he inspected her mouth for himself. "We'll have to try these out on Shippo the next time he tries to steal my food." 

"Were you in need of something, Inuyasha? Otherwise I do not wish to hear your inane prattle," said Sesshomaru. 

"Fuck you, asshole," was the dismissive reply. The words certainly lacked the bite of anger that the daiyoukai was accustomed to and he glanced at the hanyou to find that he had walked off a short distance with the infant held above his head in both hands. Nonsense noises of excitement filled the air, so loud for something so small. And the expression on Inuyasha's face conveyed a calm bliss, perhaps happiness, a rarity for one such as him. And it was quite clear that Inuyasha was thoroughly ignoring his elder brother. He was completely indifferent to a presence of one who had once meant fear and danger and that to drop his guard in such a manner would be a death sentence. And now that idiot hanyou willingly turned his back on the daiyoukai, who had been seen as little more than a convenient watchdog by said hanyou's wife. 

On occasion, Sesshomaru loathed these changes in his life. How long ago was it that Kagome would never have dared to speak with him on her own, let alone push a child into his arms when summoned to perform a burial ceremony? Next time he would refrain from being out in the open upon his arrival where he could be spotted by passersby. The one he waited for, after all, did not need to search by line of sight to locate him. 

"Where's that wench of yours, by the way?" the hanyou abruptly called out, as if he'd sensed the trail of Sesshomaru's thoughts. 

His claws clicked together. Yet before he could strike out at the wretched mongrel, a movement low in the air interrupted them as Jaken swooped down into their midst on the back of Ah-Un. The imp, holding the reins in one hand, adjusted his hat with the other and fixed Inuyasha with a disapproving glare. "Show some respect!" he admonished. "You will address her properly when she arrives. Right now Lady Lucidity is delayed by her duties and is currently at the bottom of the ocean, trying to-" 

"Enough, Jaken," ordered Sesshomaru, rising to his feet. "Did you locate Rin?" 

Jaken immediately bowed from his spot on Ah-Un's saddle. "Yes, my lord! She was busy with preparations for the festival, but she should be here as soon as she is done."

Sesshomaru's mouth pressed into a thin line of irritation, blatant enough to Jaken, who began apologizing profusely and offered to bring Rin to him promptly, proclaiming that he should have done just that from the start. And while Sesshomaru did not disagree with that statement, he said nothing in response, but turned and walked off, to find a spot that was more secluded where he would not be bothered by those he had no desire to be near. The attempt was rendered useless, however, when Inuyasha began to follow. 

"Hold up, Sesshomaru! What was Jaken talking about? Did I hear him right? She's at the bottom of the ocean? What the hell is she doing?" 

"What difference does it make to you, hanyou?" he replied, Ah-Un's shadow passing over him, as Jaken left to fetch Rin. 

Inuyasha fell into step beside him, the infant cradled in one arm. "Not much, but if she's not here, the kids are gonna have a fit. I, for one, don't want to listen to them whine and I'm sure you don't either. I guess we could tell them to ask Jaken and he can explain where she is." Sesshomaru stopped his descent from the hill and peered over at what remained visible of the village. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Inuyasha do the same, but soon the hanyou glanced back at him. "What is it?" he asked.

"She said she would return before the festival," Sesshomaru murmured. 

Inuyasha was silent for a moment before he spoke again. "You gonna go look for her?" 

His gaze flicked up to the sky, but there was nothing to suggest a hint of her presence. And the lack of it filled him with a frustration he would never voice aloud. If he'd been able, he would have searched for her long before now. Yet he did not have the means to do so. Her preferred form of travel was nigh impossible to track. There was no scent to follow and her aura was so well obscured that he would have believed her human, had he not witnessed the gradual transformation himself. And to add to his ever growing discontent, she had not informed him of where she was going, blatantly admitting that she didn't know the exact location of her destination. "Beneath the ocean" was all she could say, had even compared it to a vague scent that one must follow in order to discover the exact origin.

An abrupt silence in the distance drew his attention. He spotted people breaking from the burial procession, making their way back into the heart of the village, and took note of the two females dressed in white and red clothing with the unmistakable silhouette of the monk beside them. How often had he caught Lucidity observing them and their other allies in the waters of Sagashite? She studied the entirety of her domain within that reflecting pool, but always she would keep close watch on this village. If he had the ability to do the same, he would go to the Isle here and now by way of the ferry; however, Sagashite answered to no one but the Guardian and was, therefore, completely useless to the daiyoukai.

"It's bad luck you got here after that girl was cremated," said Inuyasha, pulling Sesshomaru from his thoughts. "Kagome has been really broken up about not being able to help her. Tenseiga would have-"

"The girl's life is of no consequence to me," Sesshomaru cut in. "I will not be your tool to resurrect every human you fail to save."

"Keh! I can't imagine Lucidity would be very happy with you if she heard that," Inuyasha said, adjusting the now dozing infant in his grasp.

"You seek to use her against me to sway my decision? Are you so weak that you need a woman to win your battles?"

Inuyasha scowled, but there was something about the sight of his holding a baby that lacked in menace. Sesshomaru merely continued on his way, too distracted to bother with his brother. He was uninterested in this interaction and was doubtful that even Rin would be enough to placate his foul mood.

"Look, we both know that if she asked, you would do it," Inuyasha said as he followed once more, and Sesshomaru could hear the mocking grin in his voice. "So don't pretend like you're above what your woman wants."

"You are under a false impression if you believe she would make such a request," said the daiyoukai, and the statement rendered Inuyasha mute, if only for a moment.

"She would," he eventually countered. "I know that if we asked her, she would, for the sake of that girl's family."

There was much that could be argued on that point, much that might be debated. Yet Sesshomaru had no interest in discussing the moral characteristics of the females in their lives. He was not interested in discussing anything at all. Being in this village, when he could do little more than roam the area, not knowing what had happened and with no immediate answers that were forthcoming or how to find them, left him agitated and restless. He had no wish to sit beneath a tree, to watch the humans celebrate some custom with yet another festival, to linger in the hopes that she might-

Sesshomaru froze as Inuyasha spun around. The sudden movement jarred the infant awake. Her cries echoed through the air, but the sound did not vex as it usually did in the wake of what had arrived. Hidden by the sleeve of his haori, Sesshomaru's hand clenched into a fist at his side as he turned around. Already the hanyou was heading in the direction of the village, but stopped to glance back. "You coming or what? Isn't she the reason you've been moping around?"  

The hanyou dodged the Whip that cracked near his ear. He cursed at Sesshomaru as the infant wailed louder and bounded off, while the daiyoukai walked the winding path around the hill at a slower pace, following the unmistakable aura to the center of the village. It had been a long time since that mutt had been given a proper lesson of boundaries. He was becoming too familiar with Sesshomaru, acting is if his company was desirable when, in reality, it was barely tolerable. To some extent, he found this to be Lucidity's fault. She was too friendly with the village, with the priestess, daemon slayer, and everyone else who lived here, which forced him to interact with his brother and the others more than he had in comparison to a year ago, when Rin was the only reason he ever graced this human settlement with his presence. Prior to meeting Lucidity, he and Inuyasha had dealt with one another only in passing during his visits. Now it was impossible to return to the old ways. Sesshomaru had imagined that, given her aversion to people, Lucidity would avoid the crowds of the village. Yet it seemed that she had forgotten their treatment of her, of the ostracism she had lived in. 

It was a conclusion that strengthened when Sesshomaru caught sight of a yellow-haired figure standing amongst a small horde, which included more than Inuyasha and his pack. She appeared to be whole and unharmed, laden with burdens and talking with several villagers, and soon handed over a large sack that was accepted with many bows of gratitude. Another was on the ground nearby, being torn apart by a brood of children, who were digging into its contents. It wasn't long until some began to rush off, clutching newfound possessions to their chests, which included brightly colored stones and an endless array of seashells. Sesshomaru glanced down at one small boy who ran by, completely oblivious of the daiyoukai, and recalled the first time he'd witnessed children interacting with Lucidity. It had been a drastically different display than what he saw here. 

She was lowering the last parcel that had been tied to her back when she spotted him and a smile curved her lips. "Sesshomaru," she greeted when he reached the cluster of humans and youkai, most of whom were giving him a wide berth. "I figured you'd be here." 

"You're late," he replied, ignoring the crowd. 

She shrugged a single shoulder and gave a sheepish grin. "I know. I didn't mean to be. There were extenuating circumstances. Did you know that krakens are a real thing?" And suddenly she kicked open the parcel at her feet. What unrolled created an onslaught of gasps and even Sesshomaru took a moment to consider the amputated limb that slithered free, as thick as his body and twice the length. "Who wants calamari?" Lucidity announced to the dumbstruck crowd. 

Inuyasha, who had handed his infant over to the priestess, came forward to stand over the tentacle. "Where did you find this?" 

"The ocean?" Lucidity offered. 

"Dammit, I know that! Where in the ocean?" 

"About fifty miles from the eastern shoreline. It attacked while I was trying to work," she said, rotating a shoulder. "A very determined creature, too. This was all that I could carry back." 

"It's dead?" spoke a voice from the crowd. 

"Very much so," she said. 

"What's a kraken?" someone else asked, but it was Kagome who answered. 

"It's like a very large squid," she said. "There are stories about them dragging whole ships into the ocean. I thought they were just a myth, though." 

"This one definitely wasn't," Lucidity muttered. Again Sesshomaru noticed the shifting of her shoulder. And when she saw his frown, she raised a brow. "What?" 

"You smell of fish," was his reply. "It's revolting." 

She let out a derisive snort and stepped over the tentacle to approach him. "You battle a sea monster and try coming out smelling like a basket of roses." 

"I am not the bleeding heart of a fool who brings food to lowly humans undeserving of my attention," he sneered with open contempt that had her blinking and drawing back. A sharp intake of breath could be heard by more than one onlooker as a tension filled the watching crowd and there was a soft, rebuffing note of his name from the priestess. Yet he had no regard for the disapproving or anxious reactions of the ones surrounding Lucidity. It was her response of alone that held any import for him. And she did little more than let out a sigh and close her eyes, brows knitted together, before she disappeared in a single breath, leaving behind a crowd gaping at empty air.

"How could you say that, Sesshomaru?" came the immediate, admonishing demand from Kagome as she stepped forward. "She's your wife! You can't-"

The daiyoukai turned his back on her and the others, striding away from a scene he had no desire to be part of. "Do not lecture me, miko, when you are the one who subjugates your husband with prayer beads."

"That's not-"

"Drop it, Kagome; it's none of our business," he heard Inuyasha say.

And yet she ignored the rare and sound advice of the hanyou as she called out to Sesshomaru. "If you keep treating her like that, she'll leave you in the end!"

"Kagome! Knock it off!"

The noise of their bickering followed Sesshomaru back down the path. While doubtful of the predictions of the priestess, he was aware that he had upset Lucidity; he knew she would be the second the words escaped him. He would not be surprised if the reason she had left so abruptly was to avoid a public argument as Inuyasha and his wife were wont to do. And though he caught her scent a moment later when she took her physical form in another part of the village, he did not search her out. He was still...inexplicably angry that she had taken such efforts to provide food and gifts for people who had considered her beneath them not so long ago, people who had banished her to the outskirts of their village, attempted to assault her.... He did not understand and had not bothered to ask for an explanation as to the reason she went to such lengths to please these humans. He'd let her do as she wanted without interfering, regardless of how ridiculous he found it.

Then, why did it anger him now? He paused along the path, a frown creasing his lips. This had delayed her, yes, and he'd had no way of locating her to find out what had kept her. Being set upon by a monster of the ocean was no fault of hers, but the gifts.... She should not have bothered with the gifts if it meant that she would return later than promised. She had made him wait, made him.... Sesshomaru closed his eyes as comprehension finally dawned on him. For the briefest moment, he felt the fool this time for not realizing it sooner.

"Sesshomaru-sama!"

The daiyoukai looked up as Jaken descended from the air once again and saw that he was still absent Rin. Immediately, Jaken jumped down from Ah-Un and dropped the Staff of Two Heads before prostrating himself into a low bow on his knees. "Please forgive me for returning without Rin!" he begged. "She refused to come with me. She wanted to inform you that she promised to come see you as soon as she is able, but that she could not be pulled away from the festival preparations. I know this is not what you want to hear, my lord. If you like, I will show you where she is. But...but that would be an insult, your having to search her out when she is the one who has been called here. I can't imagine that her respect for you has waned, but she is certainly becoming a willful child."

No, that was inaccurate. Rin was not willful, nor was she a child any longer; she was near the proper age to be married, though Lucidity had often said it was madness and that thirteen years was far too young. Rin's refusal to jump at his summons was more than that, though. This unwillingness to abandon her duties to the village rather than choose him showed an inclination towards a life with humans, one that was more logical, safer, a choice that should have been made long ago. This minute shift of their dynamics brought matters into sharp focus. If Rin was to build a life with her own kind, to become a wife and raise a family, a daiyoukai had no place here. In spite of that, he knew would continue to return. He was too...invested to disregard Rin so easily. 

"What shall we do, my lord? What are your orders?" 

Sesshomaru peered down at the imp, who was watching him nervously, still upon his hands and knees. "Do as you want, Jaken," he said. "We will depart after the festival."

And then the daiyoukai left him there on the path with Ah-Un, retreating into the woods where some form of solitary existence was to be had. He did not find a spot to rest, but walked the hillsides. Aimlessly he wandered, biding his time and listening to the distant echo of village activity, the dull roar of voices, the scent of fires and the cooking of special meals for the occasion, and the overall energy of excitement for the coming celebrations. And always he returned his attention to one particular scent, the subtle trace of an aura that was not completely muted to those who knew how to search for it. To be angry, yet still want her was a predicament he was not unfamiliar with. This matter with Rin, however, he was not accustomed to and Lucidity would...alleviate his frustrations. Her presence alone had done so in the past, an aspect he'd come to acknowledge over the last year. Yet the question remained if she would be willing; he still needed to quell her fury with him.

The sun had begun its descent in the sky when he felt her aura shift and the source of her scent came from another direction. She had moved from the daemon slayer's home to the outskirts of the village and he followed what had become a familiar trail. Rarely did she return to this area, but for one purpose. And when he passed by the vague outline of what had once been her hut, which had never been rebuilt, he walked along the stream into another section of the forest until he came upon the small waterfall she favored for bathing. As he'd predicted, he saw her robes laid out upon the ground, along with the fresh silk of a yukata and an array of soaps and roots; however, there was no sign of her.

Yet as he came to stand at the edge of the shallow pond, he caught a glimpse of toes, then a pair of feet, sliding out from the hidden niche behind the waterfall. He was treated to the sight of nothing but long legs for the briefest moment before the rest of her emerged, leaning forward on her hands. Water cascaded around her, beating down on her shoulders, and wet hair plastered to her skin. Rivulets streamed along her body, trickling over bare breasts, running down a smooth, taut stomach, to disappear between a pair of thighs pressed together. The haughty expression of anger on her face would have been enough to give him pause, to consider his next move with care. Yet the image incapacitated him. He forgot, if only for the space of a heartbeat, the reason he had sought her out. 

"Have you come here to make demands or amends?"

Her voice returned a grain of sense to his fractured mind and he looked at her with renewed focus. "I do not care for your indulgence towards this village," he said.

She raised a brow. "I'm aware. And I'm also aware that human custom is not the issue here. You were worried and now you're pissed that I made you worry because I didn't get here when I told you I would, all over some silly exchange of goods. Though why you saw fit to insult me in front of everyone, I don't know."

"It was not my intention."

She let out a scoff. "As calculating as you are, I find that difficult to believe. What _was_ your intention, then, if not to piss me off?"

"I had no other intention than to see what had caused your delay," he said. "As you were able to decipher the reason for my displeasure, does it come as such a shock that I did not restrain my response in the wake of your flippant behavior?"

A flicker of surprise crossed her face before she regained herself and scowled. "Flippant or not, that doesn't excuse your behavior either. Honestly, if you're upset about something, tell me in private. Don't parade it around. You know it was a mistake, otherwise you wouldn't be here trying to explain yourself." A hand tightened into a fist at his side. His jaw worked as he felt a dull ache forming in his temple, frustrated as he was with the transparency in which she saw him. "If I'm wrong, tell me," she continued. "If I'm not...." A sigh broke from her and she shook her head, a hand going to her shoulder, as she dropped her gaze. Some of the fire had gone out of her voice when she spoke again, sounding exhausted rather than angry. "Really, Sesshomaru, I was excited to see you. I'm sorry I made you worry, but gods be damned, you didn't have to embarrass me like that. It wasn't as if what I did was intentional."

"Enough, Lucidity," he murmured, and saw her look up just before he turned his attention towards the forest. His gaze wandered over the trees and foliage that were cast in the light of the late afternoon. "You have made your point." 

"...does this mean you agree with me?" 

"Yes." 

A silence elapsed, during which nothing but the sound of rushing water could be heard, until Lucidity let out another sigh. "Is that all?" 

Claws threatened to pierce the palm of his hand, his entire frame stiff with agitation. That he was reduced to this, that she would dare ask, that he would even consider indulging.... He closed his eyes, loathing every second. "This is not easy, Lucidity," he said, his voice rough. "I do not...admit mistakes to others." 

"Except me?" she pressed. 

He was surprised at the amount of willpower it took not to snarl as he forced himself to speak. "Except you." 

"So, you regret your actions, then?" 

His lip curled. If she continued to push.... 

"Sesshomaru?" 

"That is correct," he replied in clipped tones. 

"...will you look at me? Please?" came the soft question, sounding for all the world like an innocent request.

At least that was what he believed it to be, until he turned his head and was instantly subjected to a face full of water. On impulse, he took a step back and ran a hand down his face, blinking through the wet strands of his hair at the water receding back into the pond. The sheer audacity of the act was the only thing that saved her from an immediate retaliation; he did not know how to respond to such a ploy of childish revenge. 

Lucidity leaned forward, the waterfall striking her back, that smile of mischief playing across her lips. "You're forgiven." 

This time, his reaction was instant, with no conscious decision behind it. His hand shot out and the green energy coiled around her ankle. She barely managed to blink and look down when he yanked back, jerking her out of the niche and into the pond below. He heard nothing more than a gasp before she disappeared beneath the water. The Whip retracted as she emerged, spluttering and shaking her head, looking startled, but only for a moment. With a questionable smile on her lips, she raked both hands through her hair and pulled the locks out of her face, completely exposed from the waist up. He considered the naked form in front of him, no longer veiled by the waterfall, but then paused when he noticed what it had hidden. 

"You're injured," he said, moving towards the edge of the water once more. Lucidity's hand went to the pink scar tissue of the shoulder she'd been favoring. And from this angle, he could see more on the back where she'd been pierced through. And then he spotted the other, albeit smaller wound on her side. "Why did you not mention this? Is this what delayed your return?" 

"I'm fine; I was just careless," she said. "It took me a couple days to recover full use of my arm, but I could have come back sooner, like you said, instead of collecting everything for the villagers." 

Sesshomaru let out a resigned sigh. "It escapes my understanding, your insistence on such pointless gifts. They have done nothing to earn your affections."

"Affections?" she repeated, and there was a lilt to her voice that he could not be certain of. "I'll admit, the children I like, at least the ones who hadn't terrorized my home when I lived here, but the adults I pacify. Some feel that I endanger their village, with the gaijin law still in place. Food and anything practical puts them at ease. Plus, you know, extra protection from the Guardian."

He frowned. "Did you not inform them that Guardians can hide their true appearance? That is the reason you are willing to come here, is it not?" 

"Glamour or not, I can't trust every single person to believe me," Lucidity replied as she moved towards the bank. "But I can trust that any objections they make will be easily overruled if the rest are kept happy." 

"I see," Sesshomaru said slowly, watching as she placed her hands on the grass and began lifting herself out of the pond. And yet her progress was impeded when he lowered himself onto one knee in front of her. She stared at him, upper body braced upon her arms and legs still in the water, as his fingers curled beneath her chin, tilting her head towards him. "You are a manipulative woman." 

"You're figuring this out now?" she asked, brows raised. 

His thumb brushed over her bottom lip and his eyes followed the movement of her throat as she swallowed. "A lesson, it seems, that I am still learning."

"Perhaps if you simply ask next time, instead of-" 

Her words were cut short in a sharp inhale as his mouth covered hers. He could taste the breath of excitement on her lips, the flames of home on her tongue. His arm wrapped around her waist and he rose, pulling her from the pond and onto her feet, never breaking the embrace. Her arms slid around his neck and he felt the press of her body against the length of his. His grip tightened as his other hand brushed along her side, over a thigh, and-

Sesshomaru drew back when he caught the scent on the wind and looked up. For a third time that day, the figure of Ah-Un was gliding towards him, yet this time was bearing a different rider. Alone and waving her arm excitedly in greeting, Rin beamed down at him. "Sesshomaru-sama! Sesshomaru-sama!" she called out. "I'm so sorry I couldn't come earlier, but I'm here now. The festival is going to start soon. I thought we could go together. Is that Lucidity with you? She can come, too!" 

A sudden cough from Lucidity did little to hide her laugh. "Of course, Rin," she said, shifting against him, as Ah-Un landed. "How about letting me get dressed first, and then we can both drag Sesshomaru into the village?" 

"Okay!" said Rin, sliding off of the dragon with the reins clasped in one hand. "I'll be over here with Ah-Un." 

As the girl wandered down the stream, Sesshomaru turned his glare onto Lucidity, his scowl barely suppressed. "I will not-" 

"Sacrifices must be made for our children," she whispered for his ears, that grin of hers back in place, one which he was coming to greatly distrust. 

"Insufferable woman," he said. "You will regret attempting to force this decision on me."

"Aye," she murmured, "but you still love me." 

He let out a soft growl, then turned on his heel and walked off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new year! A new story! A warm welcome back, my dear readers! I do hope you all had relatively safe and quiet New Year full of perfectly legal fun! If not, just don't get caught!


	2. Chapter 2

"A crack in the ground? That's what you were after?" 

"It's more than that." 

"What do you mean?" 

"It was.... It's something called a fault line. And the way it was forming, beneath the ocean like that, would have triggered an earthquake. If that happened, the land would be hit with-" 

"A tsunami!" Kagome gasped, adjusting a resting Asami in her arms. "Are you saying you went out there to prevent a tsunami?!"

Lucidity nodded.

"What's a tsunami?" asked the kitsune from where he was sitting next to the priestess.

From the edges of the fire the group was huddled around outside the home of the monk and daemon slayer, Sesshomaru listened to a topic that was of rare interest to him. Lucidity had yet to inform him of her reasons for venturing from the mainland. He was unfamiliar with the terms being used, which was not uncommon with the gap of knowledge between himself and Lucidity that spanned centuries. Now he listened to Kagome explain this latest term of what she described as a giant wave that could crush homes, perhaps even erase entire villages, in the wake of its destruction.

"Wow," the kitsune whispered. "I'm really glad you stopped it, Lucidity. I wouldn't want to go out that way. But what about the giant squid thing? Was it trying to eat you?"

"No, it was just angry. I guess it didn't like me so close to its home," she explained, peering down at the pile of flowers in her lap. "I can only assume...." The last words were spoken in a soft, vague tone that had Sesshomaru frowning,

"How did you know of a danger so far from here?" asked the monk.

Lucidity glanced up from sorting through the bits of floral. Behind her, Rin and the twins were combing through the long mane of her hair, their fingers diligently twisting the strands together in small, numerous braids. "It's just a sense," Lucidity said, handing some more flowers to the girls, who started to work the stems into the yellow strands. "No different from any of yours. Whether natural or otherwise, if there is a threat of extensive magnitude somewhere in my domain, I will know."

"And this is the first time it's happened?" asked the daemon slayer, who was selecting a dark red camellia from the pile.

"Yes, it.... Erm...Sango? What are you doing?"

"This color suits you; you should wear it more often," said Sango as she slid the camellia behind Lucidity's ear.

"Does being covered in blood count?"

"No, it doesn't. And stop that, Inuyasha," Sango added to the snickering hanyou.

"Yeah. How can that be funny? It's usually her own blood she's covered in," said Shippo, folding his small arms in disapproval.

"Keh!" Inuyasha scoffed. "Don't try and blame me. She's the one who made the joke."

"But you're the only one laughing," the kitsune pointed out. "You have a sick sense of humor, Inuyasha."

"What was that, you little brat?!"

"You heard me. You have a horrible mind, muttface!"

"Muttface?! Have you been hanging around Koga again?"

As Inuyasha caved to the instigation of a child, an occurrence so common that it was ignored by those present, Rin suddenly spoke. "We're done, Lucidity!" she announced, beaming, as she and the twins stepped back to admire their work, while Sango and Kagome converged for a closer inspection.

Sesshomaru had seen and heard enough. The festival had begun. And though he had intended to venture no further than the outskirts of the celebrations, the displays witnessed here had served to change his mind. Already the group was delayed, with the girls cornering Lucidity with their flowers and entreating her to tell them of her tale out at sea. And now the damn hanyou saw fit to give chase to the kitsune. The ensuing ruckus triggered fresh wails from Asami, which in turn had Kagome on her feet and shouting at Inuyasha. With the females distracted by the display and the monk attempting to stop Inuyasha with calm reasoning, Sesshomaru slipped away into the darkness. Jaken and Ah-Un were nearby, close enough that there was still a clear view of the spectacle when he came upon them.

"You are not staying, my lord?" was the imp's immediate question when he strode by. "I thought Lady Lucidity had requested that you-"

"Actually, I'm surprised that he stayed this long," came a voice on the sudden gust of wind that tossed the daiyoukai's hair before dying down. He turned around to find Lucidity, hands clasped behind her back, standing before Jaken, who had managed to adjust to her habit of abrupt appearances. He hadn't screamed and was not on the ground this time, but seemed to have dropped the Staff and reins, which he was gathering up. "How have you been, Jaken?" she asked as he straightened.

"I'm well, my Lady. I trust you were successful with your mission?" he asked in return.

"Such formalities," she replied. "I wish you would stop, but I know you won't at this point."

"Indeed not!" Jaken exclaimed, bristling. "You are married to Sesshomaru-sama now and should be addressed with the proper respect." 

"Ah," she sighed. "I never thought I'd see the day where I'd miss hearing your colorful insults." Her attention shifted onto Sesshomaru and she offered a small smile. "I didn't think you'd make it this far or last this long. I didn't expect you to come with us at all, honestly. Did I really guilt you into coming?"

"Do not flatter yourself, woman," he said. "I do nothing that I do not want."

She raised a brow, then let out a soft chuckle. "All right. I'll see you soon, then? I doubt I will stay for the entire festival."

At first, he did not respond, but approached her, his footsteps the only noise other than the verbal spat in the distance. As he came to stand in front of her, he noticed Jaken out of the corner of his eye, taking a few steps back and watching the pair in silence. Ah-Un, indifferent to his surroundings, settled onto the ground, as if to proclaim that this was the ideal spot to spend the night. Sesshomaru's gaze wandered over Lucidity's countenance, at the floral decorating her hair instead of strands of silver this time, at her open curiosity as she watched him watching her, waiting patiently for an answer. His eyes lingered on the camellia, long enough that she reached up with a self-conscious hand and touched the flower. "If that is what you desire," he finally said.

"I'd like you to come with me," she said as she pulled the camellia free, twirling the stem between her fingers and her eyes following its movements. "But I know you hate these things more than I do, so I won't torture you with social interactions."

When he reached out, he saw Jaken look away just before his hand closed over Lucidity's. She peered up at him, looking both startled and perplexed. Without a word, he drew the flower from her grasp and returned it to the spot behind her ear; he realized, now, where her thoughts had been when she'd been speaking with Sango. She might have been the most powerful being here, but her mind was still rather human. "No blood will be shed tonight," he said. "And there is no need for you to spend the festival this year in the shadows. Go."

She stared, blinking a moment. "Sessh-"

"OSUWARI!"

"GAH!"

"Took her long enough that time," Jaken muttered, to which Lucidity turned away and covered her mouth, but failed to suppress her giggle. "Idiot hanyou!" the imp continued. "And he is supposed to be a parent? Pathetic that he would allow himself to be so easily goaded. How can he call himself a father? Hmph! I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. With the honorable Inu no Taisho's passing, he had no decent upbringing. I am doubtful that people who lacked a parent growing up could make proper ones themselves. A man with no father, a woman with no mother. Too many of them are lost causes, I'm sure. Don't you agree, my Lady?"

Lucidity peered down at Jaken, her amusement gone, her expression blank. She held his gaze just long enough for him to frown in confusion before she glanced over at Sesshomaru. "I'll be staying until after the lanterns are lit. After that I'll come find you; I promise this time," she said.

"As you wish," he replied, and then watched in silence as she disappeared in a soft rush of air.

"Does she not agree, Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken asked. "I had assumed, given her outlook on certain matters, that she would."

The daiyoukai said nothing, but struck his servant upside the head hard enough to send him face-first into the dirt, the Staff rolling from his slackened grasp.

* * *

The flames rose high from the center of the village, stretching above the roofs of huts and filling the darkness with light and warmth. The sound of mesmerized voices carried on the wind and easily reached Sesshomaru's ears from where he watched on the hill that overlooked the village. He stood among the trees and foliage, arms folded within his sleeves, and studied the fire that danced in a most unnatural way. It came in waves, burning bright, then dimming to almost nothing, before rising again. Different forms appeared, including that of a large bird and another of a female figure spinning in strange movements. And longer still, he watched, listening to those enraptured by the display. The head of a wolf now, its head thrown back in a soundless howl.

What next? Sesshomaru wondered. How would she indulge these wretched humans next? In spite of her reasons, the thought of her catering to them, performing for them, set his teeth on edge. She did not need their permission to return here. She did not need their favor at all. And yet she sought it. On some level, he could not understand her desire to be included in this world. Did she cling to a life that she should have moved beyond? She was not human. She was anything but human. And still she persisted. As the fire died away one last time, Sesshomaru could only conclude that he would let her do as she wished. There was no harm in it and this was a temporary arrangement. These humans she sought the acceptance of would not be here for long. It would not matter, in the end. She was immortal; they were not and would eventually become nothing more than a distant memory.

A soft groan ended the silence. The daiyoukai spared Jaken a glance and saw that he was just as before: sitting in front of the campfire and clutching his bruised and bleeding head. The punishment had not succeeded in knocking him unconscious, but he'd remained quiet and subdued beyond the occasional whimpers of pain. As Sesshomaru watched, Jaken leaned back against the sleeping dragon behind him, staring with an expression of absolute misery into the fire. Never did he ask for an explanation of his transgression and nor was Sesshomaru inclined to provide one. And yet the daiyoukai did wonder if Jaken knew the extent of his insult towards Lucidity or if he merely assumed he had overstepped his place.

Movement down below caught his attention and Sesshomaru peered back at the village to see figures emerging from the line of huts and onto the bank of the river. He scanned the congregation, but from this distance, even his eyes strained in the near darkness. Lucidity had said she would return, but the fact remained that he was tired of waiting. Days he'd been waiting. He was not angry, merely...impatient and no longer content to linger in the forest. This time, there were no questions from Jaken, asking where his master was going, when Sesshomaru set off.

He found her further up the river, apart from the other villagers. She wasn't alone. Inuyasha and his group were with her, along with the children, none of whom had been put to bed, not even the infants. And there was also Kohaku, speaking with Rin and the old priestess, further downstream. Yet something was wrong. There was a tension in the group, marked by Lucidity stepping out of their midst and walking upstream, a lantern hanging from her hand. Kagome started to follow. At first Sesshomaru could not fathom the reason for their departure from their companions, until the priestess spoke in a tone he was unaccustomed to hearing when she was addressing Lucidity. 

"I just don't understand! How could you decide something like that? It's so...it's so-" 

"Heartless?" Lucidity offered, coming to a stop and spinning around to face her. 

"Yes!" Kagome exclaimed. "It's completely heartless! Why would you turn your back on people who need help? That isn't like you." 

This was...an intriguing development. It was not uncommon for the priestess to become angry with the likes of her husband, but Sesshomaru had never seen her temper directed at Lucidity. Yet while Kagome was beginning to tremble with indignation, Lucidity remained calm, to the point of indifference. "And as I've been trying to explain to you, I can't do what you ask," she told the priestess. "I can't-" 

"You mean you won't! There's a difference!" Kagome shouted, drawing the stares of those attempting to ignore the bickering. "If I was in your position, I would do everything in my power to prevent any of those horrible things from happening." 

"And that is why you aren't the Guardian," said Lucidity, the faint coldness of her words a subtle warning that her patience was growing thin. "I will not interfere with anything I have preexisting knowledge of and that's final. Do not ask me again." 

"But why?!" demanded the priestess. "You could save so many! How can you be so cruel and let those people suffer, let them die?" 

"You forget," Lucidity said in a soft voice, "that this decision includes my father." And Kagome, mouth open in preparation for another angry retort, stiffened. "You know how much I love him," Lucidity continued. "You know how much I miss him, but all the same, I won't save him. I won't change what has happened or what will happen. Think about it: if he had lived, I would have never come to this country. Mother wouldn't have brought me to this era. I would not have become the Guardian. I know the consequences should I save him. I cannot fathom what would happen on a much larger scale and I don't dare tempt it." 

"But-" 

"You think I haven't considered this? It's a paradox, Kagome. If it doesn't happen, how could I ever know to prevent it in the first place? I will never interfere with something like that. So stop arguing and don't ever bring it up again."  

The quarrel was over. That much was obvious before Lucidity ever finished speaking. The self-righteous wrath of the priestess had evaporated. Sesshomaru could smell the salt water on the air before he saw the woman's tears, while Lucidity stood there, unmoved by the weeping of her friend. Not another word was said between the two and it was not long before Kagome turned and made her way back to the others, her pace brisk and agitated. The last few steps were taken at a sprint, right into the embrace of the hanyou. And though he was the one left to comfort his emotional wife, he peered uncertainly over the top of her head at Lucidity. Sango and Miroku were watching her as well, uneasy with this turn of events; even Rin, Kohaku, and Kaede had fallen silent to observe what was happening, while the children ran or crawled about on the ground with the two-tailed youkai, oblivious to their surroundings, save the kitsune in their midst, staring with wide eyes. Kagome's sobs, albeit muffled, seemed to be a condemnation that pointed the blame of guilt towards the other party involved, the one who did not speak in her defense, did not apologize, the one who did not show remorse or emotion of any kind.

Eventually, the Guardian's chest heaved with a deep sigh that could have conveyed a number of potential responses: bitterness, acceptance, regret. Yet none could be interpreted, not even by Sesshomaru, as he watched her turn and disappear into the brush. For a moment, no one spoke, no one moved, with only the sound of rushing water and the soft crying filling the air. And then a babble of conversation broke out, mostly those asking after the well-being of the priestess or the kitsune suggesting that they speak with Lucidity themselves and request that she reconsider her answer. Sesshomaru felt his lip curl. Unclear though he was about what had led up to this argument, he had witnessed the end result and found himself...disgusted by the behavior. And he was seized with the urge to release the Whip into the group, to strike out and cause pain to those who would dare show such disregard. Nothing fatal. He simply wanted them to hurt.

This desire was irrational, however, and one he would not act on. Instead, he began to follow Lucidity's trail. He noticed Inuyasha's head swivel in his direction as he left, but he did not acknowledge him. In spite of how the hanyou and his companions had proven themselves worthy adversaries and allies over the years, in this moment they were lower than the belly-crawling serpents he so despised. They had no comprehension and therefore no true respect for what the mantle of the Guardian meant. 

If only she would realize the worthlessness of their acceptance, Sesshomaru thought as he spotted the crown of yellow hair, near lost in the tall weeds of the river. He moved closer and saw her crouched on the edge of the bank, the water gliding past, serene and indifferent to the chaos of celebrations. As he approached, she lifted a hand and, with an idle flex of her fingers, a flame flickered to life above her palm. He watched as she lowered the fire into the lantern, then drew her hand back once it took to the wick. He knew she was aware of his presence, but said nothing and nor did she. Instead, they remained in perfect silence while she lowered the lantern into the water and pushed it out until the current swept it from her grasp. Without a word, she rose and he stepped up behind her, sliding an arm around her waist. He did not need to see her expression or know what was going through her mind to understand the reason she leaned back against him, why she turned to the side to tuck her head beneath his chin. His gaze followed the single light upon the river as it floated further and further into the distance, to eventually join the other lanterns of the festival that honored the departed souls of kin.

"Am I really so cruel?" Lucidity asked in a low murmur that nonetheless pierced through the quiet stillness.

"Those who lead do not have the luxury of kindness," he said.

"I'm no leader, just a cold, heartless bitch, it seems," she replied and there was a sour taste to the words.

A ripple of annoyance brought a growl to his lips and his arm tightened around her. "I will not hear such things from you when they are the ones who are blind," he said. "Do not question yourself over the idiocy of fools."

"I can't help it," she murmured, shifting closer, and he soon felt the caress of her breath along the skin of his throat. "Kagome wanted me to prevent another tsunami, one that won't happen for another five hundred years. She started talking about other natural disasters, mass slaughters, wars. She wants me to stop goddamn wars, practically change the course of history and it's...it's insane. I can't do that. I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't, but-"

"Enough," said the daiyoukai. "You cater to their whims to the point of revulsion. It is not their place to make demands of you, not even the miko." 

The sigh of defeat that escaped her was, for once, a welcomed sound. She sagged against him, but his arm remained secure around her waist, as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. "No...no it isn't," came the soft whisper. "But I think what Kagome was really after was something more personal and...I can't blame her for trying. I won't change what happened to her father, the same as I won't save mine, no matter how badly I want to."

Sesshomaru peered out across the river, at the distant glow of lights along the water, feeling the warmth of the body in his grasp. "You believe that to be her motive?" he asked. 

"It would explain why she was so upset," Lucidity said. "Either that or she's pregnant again." 

His mouth twisted into a frown. Would the priestess manipulate one she considered a friend for such personal gain? He had not...believed her to be the sort, though humans as a whole had long since shown that they were capable of disloyal traits. And when it came to matters of family, it was not so shocking to consider. Even Lucidity had displayed such tendencies before and after becoming the Guardian, but she did not manipulate those she'd developed a bond with. No, he amended, that was not true. She had manipulated him and the others before. And yet it was to ensure that they did not come to harm, as was proven when Morstua killed the monk and daemon slayer. 

"Would you ever light a lantern, Sesshomaru?" 

The question pulled him from his musings, as did Lucidity lifting her head. He glanced down to find her staring up at him, that blue gaze oddly tentative. Whatever had prompted this line of questioning, he didn't know, nor did he care to. "It is a ridiculous custom of humans that I have no need of," he told her, and she swallowed, lowering her eyes, which in turn only served to frustrate him. 

"Never, then?" she pressed. "You never would? Not even for Rin? You will outlive her. Her children. Grandchildren. You'll outlive all of them." 

"That is the way of it," he said. And when she stepped back, daring to move from him, he scowled and, seizing her by both arms, jerked her forward. She gasped, her head snapping up, eyes wide, startled. "Your despondency is starting to vex, woman. Why do you insist on continuing in this manner?"  

Her eyes narrowed. "Well, excuse me for being discontent," she said coldly. "Why don't you give me some time to adjust to 'the way of it,' hmm? A few decades, a century perhaps? That might be long enough to accept how things have changed. Unless you honestly believe a handful of months is sufficient. Is that the case?" 

His grip loosened, but he did not release her. She was still...so very human. The memories of the late Guardian might have been at her disposal, accessed only when necessary, and she might possess a strength that rivaled his; however, in some ways, she was no different than when they first met, so hopelessly mortal. Discontent, was what she had said. Unsatisfied, then, with the way things were. She would learn. At some point, she would learn and adapt. Yet until that happened...what was to be done?

The simmering anger of her expression wavered when his hand reached up and cupped her jawline, his fingers sliding into her hair. And when his thumb brushed over the curve of her cheek, he knew, from the way her eyes flickered, that she was tempted. He took a step closer, easing her head back, and she did not fight him. "Take us from here," he ordered suddenly.

"What? Why?" she asked in surprise.

"Do it," he said.

"Er...where exactly-"

"Away from this vicinity."

Her lips parted, but she quickly closed her mouth and settled for a bewildered frown instead. In the end, she obeyed and their forms dissolved. It was not a way of travel Sesshomaru was fond of, being spirited from one place to another and having no control, his body nothing more than an insubstantial gust of air. He never imagined that he would ever allow another to hold such power over him; he'd never believed it was possible to put unconditional trust in another.

He heard the waterfall before he saw it and soon felt his solid feet upon the ground. Lucidity had returned them to her bathing area, far removed from the village and unwanted company. She peered up at him, her persistent confusion showing in the subtle furrow of her brow, which only deepened when he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! An update! Sorry it's a bit later than usual! I was...so-damn-busy last week. I didn't get a chance to write at all! Usually I like to have some extra chapters lying around for emergencies just like this, otherwise you wouldn't be seeing an update for at least another week. That being said, updates still might be a bit slower than usual. I'll do my best to get the new chapters out for you all to enjoy, but I'm pretty busy with life stuff. I now have something in common with Lucidity and that is experiencing the life of a newlywed! XD Yes, I got married last week. Yes, I'm more than old enough. And yes, I'm probably too old to be writing fanfiction, but...I love it too much to stop! ^.^
> 
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> 
> UPDATE on 1/23/19: I'm very sorry to inform you all that there will not be a new chapter this week. I've been very sick with the flu and haven't been in any frame of mind to write. Today is the first day I feel semi-coherent, but I'm afraid it will be a little while before I can get back to writing. My apologies for the delay. Please hang in there! And remember to: Stay Calm and Team Fluffy!


	3. Chapter 3

An explosion echoed in the distance and fire showered the sky. It illuminated the contours of the surrounding trees and foliage, reflected off the surface of the pond, before dissipating into nothing. Another explosion followed a second later, brighter than the first, and soon there was a third and fourth, and a dull roar of voices began to fill the air, growing louder and louder, but never quite deafening. The excitement of the villagers could not drown out the trickle of the waterfall, nor draw his focus from its present course. 

The scent of flowers, however, was starting to overwhelm. The camellia, in particular, was bothersome so close to his nose. And though he had returned it to her hair earlier, he now removed it, pulling the stem out from behind her ear, as he drew his mouth from hers and straightened. Aware that she was watching him, Sesshomaru studied the dark petals of the flower as another firework burst across the sky and the cheers of the mesmerized crowd reached his ears. He let the camellia fall from his fingers, shifting his gaze onto Lucidity, and again there came another blast of fireworks, a series of them, over and over. Not too long ago, the noise and odor would have driven him from the area. But in this moment, he could not be moved. The light, distant though it was, danced over the paleness of her skin and caught the glow of those unusual eyes that had become more familiar to him than his own.

And as he gazed down at her, a tension rose inside him that he had come to associate with this woman and no other. It filled him with a sense of tranquility and at the same time sparked to life an urgency that incensed him if he did not touch her. He had claimed her. In every way possible, he'd made her his. And yet there were moments when he was not satisfied. What infuriated him the most, however, was that he remained uncertain of what it was that he wanted of her. Some nights, the force that drove him to take her was more than physical yearning; it was like the plague of the mind and there was no cure save to sink his fangs into his prey. And this need, this desire to possess her completely, could never be silenced. And more to the point, he had no wish to silence it. He succumbed, every time.

A weakness, he knew, and also did not care. All he cared about was drawing her against him and sealing his lips to hers. And she went to him, arms sliding around his neck, body molding to his. Every curve, every movement, he could feel and he wanted more. Always, he wanted more. He feasted on her mouth, his tongue seeking entrance, and she opened to him. His hands found their way into the folds of her clothing. The obi took mere seconds to loosen and the fabric fluttered to the ground as the yukata fell open. His hands moved up her sides and the sensation of the warm, bare skin beneath his palms after so many days apart made him realize how much he had...loathed the separation, brief though it had been.

His fingers traced the outline of her breasts and her chest heaved as she took a deep breath, lips parting from his. His touch became firmer, while his mouth trailed down her neck, and he cupped a breast. He bent over her and his teeth moved along the soft mound of flesh before closing around her nipple. Her gasp was almost a sigh. No matter how gentle he was, she never failed to react. And if he was rough...she merely became louder. His tongue circled the nub of flesh, pressing against it until the skin contracted and hardened, and then bit down. This time her inhale was sharp and high and she even momentarily lifted herself onto the tips of her toes. As soon as she lowered herself back down, he did it again and at the same time pinched the nipple of her other breast between his fingers.

Making her crumble with so little effort was a pleasure unto itself. She was moaning, her weight shifting from foot to foot, toes curling in the grass. He felt one hand pushing into his hair, her other coming to grip his shoulder, only to glide down and cling almost pathetically to his arm, her nails scraping the silk of his clothing. And when he gathered both breasts into his hands, she pushed herself up onto her toes once more, shivering, as his mouth switched from one to the other. Her body was growing hot beneath his touch, and her scent, the potency of it, was slowly invading his senses. He hungered for it, for everything that she offered and more. He yearned to have it all, every last ounce of what she was, and keep it for himself.

His teeth pulled at her nipple, hard enough that there was a note of pain in her groans and the fingers in his hair tightened, but she did not shove him away, did not so much as voice a complaint. And when he did it again, she moaned and shuddered, the whole of her body arching, her hips twisting, and the aroma of her heat overwhelming all else. Finally, he drew his teeth from her breast and his mouth traced a wet trail down the center of her stomach, nipping at her navel, as he lowered himself onto his knees, hands moving over her thighs. And then his lips found the dampness between her legs. Scent and taste became one and the same with his tongue pushing into her swollen folds. He explored her as he never had another, bringing her closer, easing his tongue inside her. He basked in the flavor her depths, the sound of her voice echoing through the air, the sensation of both hands now combing through his hair, gripping tight, while he enjoyed himself with the taste of her.

She was starting to tremble, trying to keep her balance, and he held fast to her hips, not allowing her to move so much as a step away from him. His tongue traveled back up and pushed against the hard knot between the lips of her sex. She gasped, convulsing once before stilling herself, and he felt nails scrape along his scalp. He did it again, moving his tongue over the tiny nodule, and she moaned for him, rocking herself against his mouth. He didn't stop. His claws dug into her skin, never piercing, as he worked this special spot of hers, one that never failed to make her writhe, make her moan, and even, at times, make her beg. And how he could make her beg! Yet not tonight. Tonight he wanted to show her, wanted to remind her....

"Sesshomaru!" she gasped, body bowing forward, hands clutching hard. "[I-I can't.... Fuck! Fuck, oh gods! You're going to.... Fuck!]"

The crude sound of her foreign words collapsed into little more than a whimper as he urged her to him, his tongue never stopping, never allowing her a moment to breathe, until she finally succumbed. She convulsed yet again, over and over, her voice a wordless melody of ecstasy, clinging hard to him and he to her, his mouth remaining firmly latched onto the wet pulse between her thighs. His eyes were shut while he savored what she gave him, the essence that flowed between his lips and over his tongue, even trickled along his chin. His hands roamed over her backside, feeling along the curve of muscles, and he drank the last of what she offered as her spasms of pleasure shuddered quietly into nothing but the echo of ragged breathing.

His eyes slid open and trailed up the line of her body, between the mound of her breasts, to see her looking down at him, lips parted, body swaying back and forth, and hair tumbling off her shoulders. In the dim light of the night, he could still see the flush in her cheeks. Neither of them moved, neither of them spoke, and yet as she regained her breath, he found himself leaning back, drawing his mouth from her, and then licked his lips in blatant satisfaction. Though, in truth, he was far...far from sated.

And suddenly his face was in her hands. She was bearing down on him, her mouth crushing his, teeth threatening to cut into his lips. It was her tongue, however, that had his attention. It was moving along the inside of his mouth, searching every crevice, flicking over his fangs, before pulling out. In some dull recess of his mind still capable of thought, he realized she was tasting herself on him. What was more, she had crouched down in front of him, her mouth on his chin, lapping at what remained, fingers brushing over his cheeks, her soft moans burning his ears. Did she know? Was she aware of the gesture? The submission of it? Did she understand that he could not be held accountable for his actions if she persisted?

And then she bit him. A delicate increase of pressure on his chin, hardly enough to leave a shadow of an indent, but enough to have him seize her by the shoulders and drag her forward. His teeth latched onto her throat, an unbridled growl rising from his own, and he was nearly undone by the cry that filled his ears and the moan that followed after. In an effort to retain some sense of mind, he rose to his feet and pulled her along with him. He managed to shift his mouth away from her neck, but once again growled, feeling the yearning churn inside him like a feral beast.

"Remove my armor," he rumbled into her ear. "Now, woman."

Her breath hitched. He stepped back and gazed down at her, waiting in expectant silence. Her hands, which were resting on his chest, were shaking. Not from excitement or pleasure, not even anger at being ordered. Instead, she was nervous and the temptation he felt at the sight was almost too much; he had to force himself to remain calm. She didn't look up, but stared straight ahead, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth. And just when he was ready to prompt her into responding by whatever means necessary, her fingers trailed down and took hold of the sash at his waist. Still trembling, she untied the knot and lifted the swords free. It was not out of the norm to allow everything to simply clatter to the ground. Yet this time she laid it all carefully on the grass, her manner respectful, docile, and it filled him with the urge to throw her down and take her then and there. His hands fisted at his sides as she straightened and began to undo the straps that held his armor together. He did not move, but waited while the breastplate and pauldron were lifted away and set aside with the same care.

"The haori, woman," he said. Mutely, she obeyed and drew the material off his shoulders, along with the mokomoko, which dropped to the ground. Gathering the haori into her hands, she crouched a third time and laid the silk over the armor.

Only then did he seize her by the back of the neck, before she even had a chance to stand once again, and turned her around to face away from him. At the same time, he grabbed the collar of her yukata from behind and tugged it off. She gasped, panting heavily, as if she had never been given a moment of respite, and he tossed the clothing aside, letting it fall where it may. And then he brought her to her knees. She didn't argue, didn't fight, but went with a willingness that had his skin singing at the sight of her bowed head and quivering body. She braced herself upon her hands as he pushed her down until her cheek rested on the grass and lowered himself behind her. His claws bit into the nape of her neck and he could smell the blood before he leaned over, his teeth finding the shell of her ear and the ache of his desire pressing against her open folds. She did nothing more than moan and shiver and ease herself back, allowing him to feel what she was so eager to give.

And yet his hakama prevented him from truly experiencing the warmth of her, a matter which was quickly remedied. With his body resting over hers, his hand slipped between them and blindly loosened the clothing until he was free, until he was sliding against her moisture, guiding himself inside. And her voice resonated in his ears, drowning at the groan that escaped him, a sound of pleasure, of knowing that she was here, she was safe, and that she was his. She belonged with him, a truth she needed reminding of. She needed to be shown that this world of humans was no longer where her priorities should lay.

His hand shifted from her neck to her shoulder, claws tipped with blood scraping across her skin, and pinned her there. As his other hand clutched at her waist, his hips snapped forward, jolting her beneath him and wrenching a cry from her throat. Bearing down on her, he growled in her ear, daring her to complain, and thrust himself into her again. His movements were hard, vigorous, and his claws were drawing fresh, crimson lines from her shoulder. His mouth latched onto the deepest wound, just as he had done to her sex, and the rich taste of blood steadily began to work him into a greater frenzy.

His grip tightened. He pushed down on her, with no mercy, with little thought of the discomfort, of the potential pain it would cause, as the moans dripped from her, fractured by unmistakable whimpers. He could feel her moving, writhing against him, and it only enticed him further. He had her here and now, was mounting her as he desired, but he wanted more. He wanted her submission, wanted to dominate her until she pleaded with him, and still he knew it would not be enough. Like fire in his veins, this longing seized him with an agonizing need that he could not fulfill. Why...why was it never enough? What more could he possibly want from her?

With his frustrations rising, he yanked her upright onto her knees, his arm threatening to crush her waist, his other hand dropping to her upper arm, claws hooking into the tender skin. He could hear her voice, her cries, the sound of his name on her lips, punctuated with each thrust of his hips, and felt her hands clinging onto his arms. Yet she made no attempt to break his hold. She could have. So easy it would be for this woman to free herself of him, to exact revenge if she so chose. And yet she didn't. He demanded her obedience, made her bleed for him, made her body his own, and she allowed it. She succumbed to him just as he succumbed to his yearnings. And the knowledge only served to strengthen this maddening ache that could not be assuaged.

With a snarl he would never permit any other to hear, his teeth pierced her nape, over a familiar set of scars, until the skin broke and he brought them to the ground. Her blood cascaded over his tongue. Her voice rang through the air as he had her on her side, a hand hooking behind the back of her knee and lifting her leg to ensure that nothing would restrict him from taking her as he would. And with his fangs buried in her neck and his organ buried in her depths, the daiyoukai feasted on all that she was, all that she had, all that she could give, and more than she could possibly understand. She never struggled, never fought, never refused, as he penetrated her again and again, relishing in the flavor of her blood, her essence.

He could feel the pressure rising, churning in the pit of his stomach, and thrust himself deeper, harder, his fangs carving their way into her flesh, and the arm around her waist began to move down. His hand eased between her legs as his movements continued, with no end in sight, and his fingers found the swollen nodule that had her bucking into his touch. Over and over he stroked her, worked her while he rocked his body into hers, trapped in the tightness of her warmth. And then he felt those walls contracting around him, how her frame shook against his, and heard her cry of completion that destroyed the last of his reserves. His voice tore from his throat, a guttural cacophony of snarls that were as beastly and feral as his lust, as he finally emptied himself inside her, his frame stiff and unyielding, clutching her against him with no intention of releasing his prey.

And though he lowered her leg, his arm remained secure around her waist. He could feel the last of her pleasure throbbing in the wet swelling beneath his fingers and he idly pinched the lips of her sex, delighting in the gasping, twisting response the absentminded act elicited. He drew his teeth from her nape and dragged his tongue over the wounds that had bled down her spine. The growl that escaped him was a lazy sound, one of contentment, perhaps even satisfaction. Would it be enough this night? He wondered this as he pressed his hips against hers once more, feeling the dull reverberation of pleasure, a mere echo of the mindless euphoria he'd experienced moments ago.

"N-no more," came the trembling whisper. "Let me rest."

Rest? Was he in the mood to permit such a request? Again, he lapped at puncture marks, tasting the fresh blood that continued to trickle from the wounds, before he rolled her onto her stomach, still sheathed inside her. She started to push herself up, only to cry out when he clamped his teeth onto her shoulder to keep her still. He dragged her arm out from beneath her and promptly pinned it against the small of her back, while her other arm remained trapped between her and the ground. Young, healthy, and with an apparent appetite that could not be appeased, the daiyoukai claimed her again. And regardless of how it lacked the same brutality as before, his actions were nonetheless demanding and relentless.

"Sesshomaru, please," he heard her say, but he merely growled in return.

"Silence, woman," he ordered, and she complied, releasing nothing more than a low whine before the tension drained from her body. She was soft and pliable in his grasp, without objection, even as she turned her head to the side, eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched. He held her there as he took her and found his pleasure once again while she lay beneath him, her voice little more than breathless gasps, the occasional shudder racing through her. Before long, he spent himself a second time that night, doubtless it would be the last. And as he lay there, his forehead coming to rest against the nest of her hair, he breathed in the aroma of blood and flowers, the mixture of his scent and hers, and a sense of ease stole over him. Seven, nearly eight nights apart, and she was at his side once more; he would not have her leaving again, regardless of the reason.

Suddenly, her wrist twisted in his grasp and Sesshomaru shifted his wandering attention onto the form still trapped by his frame. He gave little thought to finally acquiescing to her request as he released her and extracted himself in the same movement. She shivered, rolling away from him and onto her side, as he laid down next to her, adjusting his hakama back into its proper place, though she was without covering. Briefly, he considered draping his discarded haori over her, at least until his appetite returned. And yet he found the sight of her bare skin far more appealing. Spotted with blood and scrapes, bearing the marks of his favor from her throat to her calves, the image of her enticed him. Merely laying there enticed him, while the seed glistening between her legs pleased him in a way he had not experienced before, knowing that she was for him and him alone. No other would ever have her, so long as he lived.

Moving onto his side, he eased himself up onto one arm and reached out to glide his hand down her side, before he leaned forward and laid his lips upon the junction of her neck. She was still shaking, he noticed, with subtle tremors running through her body. She was stiff in his grasp and it only worsened with her resisting when he attempted to draw her back against him.

"No," she said, pulling away. "That's enough, Sesshomaru, I mean it this time."

And though he was reluctant, he did not stop her as she dragged herself upright and struggled to her feet. Frowning, he sat up and watched her retrieve the yukata, pulling it on, then went to fetch the obi. But when she lost her balance and her legs buckled beneath her so that she quickly lowered herself to her knees, he rose to his feet and walked the short distance that separated them. He knew that no mortal could have survived the treatment he'd subjected her to and yet it could never harm her to such an extent, not unless....

"Why did you say nothing?" he asked as he came to stand over her. She didn't answer, nor did she lift her gaze, but rather she shook her head as she pushed herself up, now visibly trembling, and refused to look at him when he knelt in front of her. "Why, Lucidity?" he urged. "Your body is more susceptible to damage in this state. You should not take such risks."

"It was my choice," she said. "You've been stressed and clearly you need an outlet; I wanted to give you that."

"Idiot woman!" the daiyoukai growled, seizing her by the arm and yanking her forward. She gasped and braced herself with a hand against his chest, her eyes snapping onto his face. "You would have me injure you further over some misconception of my needs? Do not make such decisions for me, you stupid girl!"

An angry retort was what he expected. It was what he was accustomed to; a carefully worded, seething reply that would explain to him the insanity of her reasoning or, on occasion, a quiet acknowledgment that he was correct, that she had used poor judgment in this instance. He was accustomed to her challenging him, of not allowing slights to her person without some type of retribution. What he was not expecting, what he was not accustomed to seeing, was the wide-eyed shock he received. More than that, however, was the fleeting glimpse of a stricken pain behind her eyes that was too sudden for her to hide, forcing her to drop her gaze. She drew back from him and he let his hand fall away.

"What is it that you need, then?" she murmured, and he felt himself grow still. "Something is going on with you and it's getting worse. Letting you do as you want seems to be the only thing that can calm you. I don't mind...I really don't; but if I'm wrong, I want to know. If you need help, I-"

"No," he interrupted. "I will not have you harming yourself based on these presumptions; it is no concern of yours."

A bitter smile crossed her lips as her eyes fell shut. "You are always my concern...and you are so damn unfair. If I'd behaved as you just did, you would not give me a moment of peace until I explained myself."

"Lucidity," he began, but stopped when she unexpectedly leaned forward. She hadn't lost consciousness, but rather had laid herself across his lap, her head in the crook of his elbow. He peered down the length of her profile, at the glimpse of pale legs tangled in the yukata, at the stretch of bare skin down the center of her body that remained uncovered, and the strands of yellow hair that curled over her shoulders and brushed along his arm. Without thought, he slid his other arm under her knees and lifted her onto his lap so that her head came to rest against his chest. When he pulled his arm free, he paused at the sight of blood smeared along his skin. He'd forgotten, if only momentarily, that his claws had pierced the back of her knee. Worse damage was caused than he had intended. And when he noticed a discoloration beneath the loose sleeve that had slipped from her shoulder, he eased the material down further and saw for himself the deep bruises that were starting to form. Within the hour, her body would be littered with markings he had not wished to leave and it had him...disconcerted. She was his to protect, not to harm, not like this.

"You're a right bastard, Sesshomaru," Lucidity muttered, and his gaze flicked up to her face to see her studying him. "You're deliberately making me worry, aren't you? This is revenge for my making you wait, isn't it?" The smile she offered was crippled with blatant exhaustion and she soon closed her eyes, her frame growing limp against him. "You will keep me safe?"

He snorted softly. "Do not ask stupid questions, woman."

Once more, her lips curled upwards at the corners, a fleeting expression before her features relaxed and her head sagged along his chest. His gaze slid over to the bruise that marred her pale skin and he felt his mouth shift with a threatening scowl as he pulled the sleeve back up. She did not stir, but remained perfectly quiet, completely and utterly unaware while she slept. For one so powerful to be so vulnerable was an ironic fate. This was only the third, perhaps fourth, time he had witnessed her in this state and it never failed to cause him unease. Nothing could disturb her when she was like this, not even her own death. For two days she would not wake. And each time he did not take the chance of leaving her out in the open, whether he was at her side or not.  

They couldn't stay here, but Sesshomaru didn't move just yet. He felt his mouth press into a thin line as he studied the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, the ease in which she slumbered. She should have said something, should have warned him. Why had she kept her silence? Regardless if he had commanded it or not, if she truly had no inclination to obey, she could have stopped him; it wouldn't have been a first. So what was different this time? Her concern? Was it enough to negate all common sense and put herself at jeopardy merely for his sake? If he had completely lost himself, he could have done worse than a few bruises. 

These thoughts and more churned inside Sesshomaru's head as he removed the flowers the girls had woven into Lucidity's hair. The worst part, he found, was that he was uncertain what he would have done if he'd given in to his base nature. Would she have been able to reason with him? He had not heeded her desires while indulging his own. She'd wanted a reprieve, but he had refused. He had...assumed that she would overpower him if she hadn't been willing. But now he knew that she hadn't had the strength. She had pleaded instead and he hadn't listened. He'd refused, taken what he'd wanted, and she had allowed it, in a foolish effort to ensure that his hunger was well fed. But had she wanted it as well or had he forced her? 

He stilled at the unbidden thought, his fingers caught in the yellow locks. Was it possible? The idea disgusted him and yet he wondered at the truth of it. She'd allowed him to do as he pleased, to put at ease this...carnal beast that he never attempted to harness. Had she truly not wanted him in that moment? Had she wanted to be free of his touch, of his lust? He did not know.... The only matter he could be certain about was that he could not let himself lose control again.

Carefully, he laid her on the ground, and then stood to collect his haori, armor, and swords. Once he was dressed and the mokomoko over his shoulder once more, he turned his attention back to Lucidity. His lip curled at the dried blood that stained her skin and he proceeded to strip her of the yukata before bringing her unconscious form to the pond, where she had left her bathing supplies from earlier that afternoon. With a discarded washcloth, he cleaned the remnants of their evening from her body, blood, seed, and all. Watching his hand scrub over her skin, he recalled the first time he had done this, when she'd been struck unconscious by a viper, covered in blood and injuries that he had been responsible for, as if little had changed between now and then.

This should not have happened.

The words echoed in his head, over and over: when he set aside the washcloth, when he dressed her in the yukata and obi, when he gathered her into his arms and went in search of Jaken. The weight of the words pressed down on him with every movement and he could not escape this state of self-blame. He could not convince himself that Lucidity was the foolish one, the one who should be the guilty party, for failing to inform him of her impending condition. He should never have let it to escalate to such a point and the inability to rectify the mistake was infuriating.

Jaken had not moved from where the daiyoukai had left him. He sprang to his feet and bowed in greeting. "I-Is everything okay, Sesshomaru-sama? I was not expecting you back so soon," he said. "I see that you have found Lady Lucidity. Is she all right?"

"She sleeps," Sesshomaru answered.

"Oh! Then allow me to summon the ferry for you," said the imp as he awakened a reluctant Ah-Un and urged the dragon to its feet by the reins. He set a quick pace through the forest, away from the village and its inhabitants.

Sesshomaru cast one last glance towards the collection of huts, listened to the dull roar of celebrations that would continue in their absence, before he turned and followed the path left by Jaken, his mind ever churning with thoughts that refused to settle. Up the river from the village, he located Jaken, who was retying the drawstring of a small pouch at his waist given to him by Lucidity months ago. Between his fingers, he clasped a single strand of long hair and lowered it carefully into the water.

"Hahaoya no Shikyu," the imp called out, "we're ready to return."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm sorry this new chapter took so long to get out to you all! That flu just knocked me on my ass. I was out of work all of last week and even couldn't make it in one day this week, I was just so fried. Luckily, it has cleared up for the most part with just a lingering cough and I'm hoping to get back to regular updates. 
> 
> Also, I'm wondering, dear readers, what your thoughts would be on an alternate timeline between Sesshomaru and Lucidity. It's an idea I've been dancing with for a couple months. Basically, it is a "what if" scenario about the Viper Clan being successful in trapping Sesshomaru and his mother and they aren't released until centuries after the fact. So, yes, this would take place in modern times. And we would also be going away from story of the Guardians and into something new. I'm not sure if or when I would start this story, but please let me know in the comments if this is something that interests you!


	4. Chapter 4

The strands of silver in her hair shimmered under the light of the full moon. Rin's idea, not hers, but it provided a good distraction, something for her fingers to fiddle with while she gazed ahead, feigning to be utterly engrossed in the speech being given for the gathered crowd. The heat of so much attention was difficult to ignore, a constant burning along her skin, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. Focusing was difficult, being completely still more so, until his hand squeezed hers. A minute gesture that went unnoticed, regardless of so many witnesses. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, the ever stoic youkai lord who was moved by nothing and no one. He was staring straight ahead at the figure in front of them, the one who was giving a blessing of their joining for all those present to hear.

It was the string of the orator's energy that bound their hands together, a delicate rope of emerald that flowed from one wrist to another and back again, creating a binding unity. The soft glow of power cast his features in a subtle dance of light and shadow that held her attention far better than the dull drone of memorized words ever could. And then his head turned, ever so slightly, and she suddenly found herself staring into those golden eyes that reflected little of his inner thoughts. Yet she didn't need to know his exact thoughts to understand what he was feeling. And when he squeezed her hand again, the gesture whispered the same message as before: I hate this, too. 

* * *

Lucidity awoke in a haze of confusion. The green foliage of familiar boughs loomed on every side of her. No matter which direction she turned her head, green leaves illuminated with sunlight were all she could see. The thrum of power of the Hahaoya no Shikyu echoed through her as she brushed a hand through her hair, rubbing at her temple, and closed her eyes. She clung to the images of what she knew now had been a dream. Well...more of a memory, but still a dream of sorts, the images churning through her mind like a film reel. She had yet to truly dream when she slept in the Hahaoya no Shikyu. It was more like that the great tree played back the highlights of her life or sometimes Satomi's.

Her union with Sesshomaru seemed to be the popular one as of late. That was the second time she had relived the moment during her seasonal slumber. Not that she was complaining. It was pleasant compared to others, helped her remember details she had forgotten. Neither of them had enjoyed the ceremony itself, of being bound together before those loyal to the daiyoukai. She'd never realized the vast number the daemons he ruled over until that day. Stiff and formal, Lucidity had endured the evil necessity of the ceremony, as had Sesshomaru. It was the final result that they both wanted, after all, for their own reasons. The fact that Sesshomaru had insisted on being her husband and at the same time loathed having to stand in front of witnesses and declare it for the world to hear had amused her to no end, especially since they had been in the same frame of mind; had these been modern times, Lucidity would have insisted on eloping.

The smile that had been forming slipped away as she suddenly recalled how Kagome had complained at not receiving an invitation, which in turn reminded Lucidity of her last encounter with the priestess. She remembered standing apart from Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and the rest, gazing at everyone in silence while Kagome wept. No one had spoken. No one had tried to reason or argue with either of the women. And yet Lucidity could feel the divide between her and the others. Whether they agreed with Kagome or not, they would never choose an outsider over the priestess. The fact remained that Kagome was family and, despite what might have been said in the past, Lucidity was not. And never had she felt the brutal reality of the truth as she did right then. She knew it was what Sesshomaru wanted her to accept when it came to the people of the village. Even if she'd still been mortal, she was too different, and nothing was ever going to change that.

Lucidity let out a sigh as she rolled over and felt the branch beneath her unfurl from the trunk. With much stretching and creaking, the Hahaoya no Shikyu eased her towards the ground until she was able to step out of its embrace and onto the grass below. Shaking out her hair, she peered around at the empty courtyard. Sesshomaru and Jaken were nowhere to be seen, but she could sense both on the Isle. For a moment, she considered searching them out, until she glanced down at herself and noticed she was wearing the same garments from the festival, which meant she hadn't had a proper bath since before she and Sesshomaru had last laid together. As she made her way into the palace, she wondered if he was still upset with her.

The halls were quiet. She came across only two servants, who were quick to bow and greet her, offer assistance, the usual spiel. And then they hurried off to prep whatever needed to be prepped while she ventured down into the hot springs, where she found the bathing supplies and evidence of recent use. The cluster of silver hair that was discovered on the scrub brush gave evidence of the guilty party and had her truly worrying if he was, in fact, angry with her; it was typically his custom to wait until she awoke so that they might bathe together.

With an unexpected incentive to track him down, she went through the motions of washing her hair and body, rather than take the time to relax and enjoy the luxuries rarely experienced outside of the Isle. One of the servants from earlier barely had time to bring her a robe to wear outside of the hot springs. Lucidity was out of the water and about to break down her form when the girl appeared and presented her with the clothing, offering apologies that were waved aside. The robe was little more than a bit of cotton fabric that was pulled on and tied into place, something simple to wear between here and the Guardian's chambers.

And once Lucidity was alone in the privacy of said chambers, she shed the robe, using it as a towel to quickly tousle her wet hair before tossing it over the room divider. Sesshomaru had been here, too, she noted upon spotting his armor and swords, set on the floor against the foot of the bed. Her gaze shifted from Bakusaiga and Tenseiga to the weapons mounted on the wall: the sword and dagger given to her by Sango. Sesshomaru had, in his own, subtle way, sneered at what he'd proclaimed as useless. With the power she wielded now, the weapons were obsolete, but she was not about to discard them.

The same could be said about the ankh that hung beneath the swords. It had been found in the forest not long after Asami had been born. Yet regardless of the sentimental attachment she had to the necklace, Lucidity could not bring herself to wear it. Every time she tried and gazed at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn't stand the sight. It made her feel as if she was attempting to cling to a past that was not hers, cling to a life that had been fabricated until she came to this era and learned the truth. Yet she didn't throw the necklace out as she had done before. She wanted...some sort of reminder, something physical that represented where she came from, something that was more than words in the journals taken from the village and now kept in the den of her chambers. She had moved on from her past as well as she could, but that didn't mean she wanted to forget.

"My Lady?"

Lucidity shifted her attention from the ankh to the entrance of the bedroom. The sound of shuffling feet could be heard and Rusuban soon appeared, arms full of silken material. The old caretaker paused at the sight of her naked mistress, then shook her head. "Your hair is a mess, my dear," she said, stepping forward and holding out the light-as-air attire. 

Lucidity raised a brow as she took the clothes. "Be happy I didn't show up covered in blood again."

"Hush now," Rusuban chided as she picked up a thickly bristled hair brush from the table. "Do not tempt the Fates, otherwise next time might be worse. Now get dressed and sit down so I can tame those wild locks of yours."

On reflex, Lucidity obeyed. There was just something about an older, maternal woman barking orders that made her inclined to listen. "Have you seen Sesshomaru?" she asked as she fed her arms through the sleeves of the new robes.

"He was here this morning," Rusuban said. "I imagine he was getting impatient; you slept for three days this time. How extensive were your injuries?"

Lucidity stopped, hands behind her back where she was securing the sash with a clasp. "I...not that extensive," she replied. "Not enough to warrant three days of rest."

"Perhaps there was more internal damage than you realized. Here, have a seat," the old caretaker added, easing out a low stool from behind the room divider. It was usually reserved for clothes or shoes, but Lucidity sat nonetheless, chewing on her bottom lip, so that Rusuban could drag the brush through her hair.

"Has Sesshomaru seemed out of sorts to you?" she asked.

Rusuban let out a soft snort that didn't quite hide her laugh. "I’d have an easier time divining the stars and heavens than those moods of your husband, Lady Guardian," she said. "Is there a reason he should be upset? Has something happened?"

"It's personal," said Lucidity, and the fingers lifting strands of hair from her face paused a moment.

"I can only convey uncertainty, my dear," Rusuban eventually told her as she resumed her work. "When you continued to sleep, he did begin asking questions as to your health and well-being. My answers of your needing to recover from whatever might be ailing you did not seem to satisfy him. He left your side not soon after."

"Left my side?" Lucidity repeated. 

"He did not move from the Hahaoya no Shikyu until today," elaborated the old caretaker.

The heavy weight of hair was being gathered up by Rusuban as she spoke, so that she might pull the brush through the tangled ends. Lucidity could feel the gentle tugs of the bristles and endured for a second or two in silence before she reached back and caught hold of Rusuban's wrist. Rusuban went still and a soft "My Lady?" could be heard. And yet Lucidity did not answer. She rose to her feet and smoothed out her robes as she turned around.

"He didn't budge?" she asked. "Not once?"

Rusuban shook her head. "No, my Lady. Is everything all right?"

"That remains to be seen," Lucidity said as she made her way out of the room. "I need to speak with him."

"I understand. Will you be wanting anything when you return-Oh! No need for such rudeness!" Rusuban exclaimed when Lucidity not only failed to answer but also dissolved her form and disappeared through the window of the alcove without so much as a farewell.

There would be time to apologize later. The behavior of the daiyoukai was what concerned her. Perhaps it was nothing, but of that she was doubtful, especially considering how angry he'd been with her. There was still much that needed to be discussed and Sesshomaru had had three days to sit and contemplate over what had happened, come to his own conclusions without wanting to hear anything to the contrary; he was so damn stubborn! And luckily, he was not difficult to track. Even if she was unable to sense his presence, she knew his habits. She knew where he went when he did not want to be bothered, where only she could force her company on him.

He was reclined against the moss-covered wall in their spot at the top of the mountain, one leg drawn up and an arm thrown over his knee, with the mokomoko trapped behind him. For a moment, Lucidity hung in the air, her body insubstantial, and took in the sight of the youkai lord, of the Guardian's Protector, young and powerful and hers. Married. Honestly...she had never entertained the notion, even before she came to this era. The idea, to her, had always been too surreal to imagine. Not that she believed it would never happen, but simply that it would be more of a matter of convenience, something that would help her obtain the mundane goals of a suburban household and family. She never expected it to be...more.

His expression never changed, but his gaze suddenly shifted in her direction. With vision, at times, being a secondary sense for him, she was only surprised it took this long for him to react as she set herself down, bare feet moving over the ground. His head tilted back, golden eyes sweeping over her, as her form solidified, wet hair and all. She offered a small smile, which he, predictably, did not return.

"You have recovered?" he asked in way of greeting.

"After three days, I should hope so," she said and caught a glimpse of his lip curling at the corner before he peered back at the horizon behind her. She moved closer, blocking his line of sight, which in turn had him closing his eyes and exhaling a soft breath through his nose. Oh yeah, something was definitely bothering him. She took a step forward, then another, until she crouched down beside him. "Rusuban told me that you-"

"Whatever the hag has shared with you, woman, does not interest me," came his curt response. "I do not care for her interference."

"Oh?" Lucidity muttered. "I see. You would have me ignore her gossip, then?"

A muscle worked in his jaw and his eyes remained shut as he spoke again. "That is correct."

"So, you don't want to discuss that you feel responsible for my extra day of sleep? You don't feel guilty at all about what happened? I mean, there must be some other reason why you didn't move from the Hahaoya no Shikyu for almost three days, right?"

He didn't reply. She may have even assumed he hadn't heard her, if it wasn't for the minute creases of anger lines that she'd come to know so well. Letting out a sigh, she lowered herself onto her knees and brought a hand to his thigh. His name was on the tip of her tongue when, without warning, he snatched her wrist and pulled her hand away. Golden eyes were open and narrowed, fixed directly on her. "Do not touch me," he rumbled, his grip tight, before he released her just as quickly and folded his arms within his sleeves, head turning aside, and closed his eyes once more.

Lucidity gaped; she couldn't help it. It wasn't that she was hurt or upset by this unexpected turn of events. Rather, she was quite thoroughly shocked. He wouldn't look at her, could barely tolerate having her so close. Just what the hell was going through his head? Bracing herself on her hands, she started to lean in. "Sesshomaru-"

"Leave, woman," he ordered. "Your presence is not wanted right now."

That had her drawing away. She stared at him, her stomach churning with too many unpleasant emotions, as she warred with herself. Should she give him the space he asked for or should she force herself onto him? He was being a royal prick about it, but that was nothing new, especially if something was grating at his nerves. Swallowing down another sigh, she shifted back on her heels. It would be easier to leave. Let him come to her. Let him have his way. It was easier not to push, not to fight.

"Open your eyes," she demanded. Easier, yes, but this lack of communication would accomplish nothing. And when he didn't respond beyond the subtle hint of a scowl, she felt a cord of anger snap as her patience reached its end and slammed her hands onto the ground. "Dammit, Sesshomaru, I will toss you off this fucking mountain if you don't stop sulking! Stop being such an ass and talk to me already!"

At least her outburst had the daiyoukai looking at her now, if only in a smoldering glare that promised painful repercussions should she threaten him again. She merely scowled in return, fingers digging into the grassy earth, as he leaned forward, braced upon his own hands. And he dared! He dared attempt to stand, to leave her here, seething and without answers! But just as he gathered his feet beneath him, she grabbed his shoulder and shoved him against the wall where he nearly slid onto his back, his legs sprawled out in a most ungraceful display.

"I said for you not to touch me, woman!" he snarled, fangs bared in a rare show of temper, as he seized her arm. She could feel the claws biting into her skin, but no blood was drawn yet. His fingers were flexing. He was...restraining himself, she realized.

"Are you really going to play this game with me again, prince of youkai?" she whispered. "We both know how well it has worked whenever you try to avoid explaining yourself to me. I know it goes against your nature, but we need to talk. You honestly think I haven't noticed your behavior when we're together? I never mentioned it before because I've always enjoyed it. I enjoyed it the other night, too, even if I was exhausted afterward." 

"Do not lie," he said. "You were injured as a result; I see no reason for enjoyment to be had." 

"Oh come off it!" she snapped. "You act as if you've never made me bleed before. And you know that if I really wanted to stop you, I'd make certain of it. So-" 

"Would you?" he asked, and she felt those fingers twitch once more. "You believed it was your duty to ensure that I was sated, did you not?"

"Sesshomaru-"

"Did you think that it would please me that you would force yourself to lie with me?" 

Lucidity pulled her hand from his shoulder as if he'd become the blackness itself. He was quick to sit up, his molten gaze fixed on her, lips pressed into an unpleasant frown. "You...actually believe that?" she murmured.

"It is to be expected," he said, his voice as hard as his expression. 

Expected? Her duty? 

"[Oh! Bloody hell! That's what you think?]" she exclaimed as an abrupt understanding clicked into place and she buried her face into her hands. 

"And what is it that you assume I think?" came the harsh question. 

Lifting her head, she shook out her hair and glared at the daiyoukai, a heavy breath escaping her, and then promptly moved forward, flinging a leg over his thighs, so that she straddled his waist. Subtle though it was, the widening of his eyes was rather amusing; she enjoyed catching him off guard, in spite of how he stiffened beneath her, his hands seizing her by the shoulders. 

"Get off of me, woman," he ordered. 

She quirked a brow at him as her hands spread along his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath the clothing. "Answer me first," she told him. "Is it your belief that just because I am your wife that it is my obligation to please you? Is that why you believe I'd force myself to lie with you?" 

"That is the way of it," he replied, an echo of the other night, the same words that had brought her no comfort. 

She shook her head. "And after everything we've been through, it never occurred to you that I might be a bit different from the women you're accustomed to? Did it never cross your mind that I might come from a land and era where it is not uncommon for the wife to control the intimacies of marriage?" Her arms slid around his neck as she pressed herself against him, ignoring how unresponsive he was. "I want you to get this through your head, Sesshomaru, because this will undoubtedly happen again: there was no force. There will never be any force. I let you do as you please because it is what you need and because I enjoy it. I enjoy how rough you are because it is the only time I ever see what you hide from everyone else. Seeing your passion, seeing you lose control, I love every moment of it."

"No!" the daiyoukai said and the sharpness of his tone caught her by surprise as his grip tightened and he pushed her away. "My actions...cannot be repeated." 

Heart racing, she stared at him, but he wasn't looking at her. Instead, his head was turned to the side, his eyes on the ground, narrowed in anger. And when she reached out and barely managed to caress a lock of silver hair before his fingers closed over her wrist, drawing her hand away once more, her stomach clenched and she had to swallow as it finally dawned on her: he was ashamed. She never believed such a thing could happen, but here it was. The great daiyoukai was unable to look his wife in the eye, unable to touch her without some part of him recoiling. And it suddenly seemed terribly vital that he should touch her, for her to let him know that she still wanted him, no matter what wrongs he believed he had committed. She broke his rather brittle grip on her and gathered his hand in hers. There was no resistance as she pressed her face against his palm, her eyes squeezing shut, until she felt his fingers move and he started to pull from her grasp. 

"Don't," she said, and he actually stopped; she'd been doubtful he would. She didn't like this. She didn't like seeing him this way; she never expected he would blame himself to such a degree. Opening her eyes, she found that he was still peering at the ground, his expression passive, his gaze distant, and a heavy sigh broke from her. "Sesshomaru, I'm not upset about what happened. I-"

"That is not the point," he cut in and extracted his hand in a sharp movement that she couldn't prevent. Her own hovered in the air a moment, before she lowered it awkwardly into her lap. "My behavior was that of a mongrel," he continued. "I lost control; I cannot allow it to happen again."

"And how do you intend to do that?" she asked, a note of exasperation escaping her. "You get worked up almost every time we're together. Unless you plan on going celibate, I don't-" Her words broke off when golden eyes darted in her direction and away again so quickly that she thought she was mistaken. "You wouldn't?" she whispered in a hoarse voice, and when he remained silent, carefully avoiding her gaze yet again, she suddenly found herself shouting. "You can't be serious?! _That's_ your solution?! Ignore the problem and hope it goes away? You coward!"

For the briefest moment, Lucidity could have sworn Sesshomaru's eyes flashed red before he bared his fangs and shoved her off him, slamming her onto her back and pinning her down. _"What did you call m_ _e?!"_ was his low, guttural snarl, his face so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath on her cheek. "You dare show me such disrespect-"

"COWARD!" she screamed, and he jerked back, his expression filled with an unbridled fury that was quite refreshing in a way. "Every time you do this! Whenever something happens that you don't want to deal with, you run away with your tail between your legs and leave me alone to pick up the pieces. You-"

She never saw the blow coming, only heard the whistle of wind in her ear, felt the brush of it along her skin, and then came the resonating impact as he drove his hand into the earth beside her head. She could all but taste the vibrations of rage dripping from him as he lifted his arm, bits of dirt and rock falling from his fist. "Do not," he said, each word tight and so carefully enunciated, "attempt to provoke me into taking you, woman. I will not be manipulated."

Her heart was pounding. She could feel herself shaking. If it was from anger or something else, she wasn't certain, but she had to swallow before she could find her voice, which trembled every few syllables. "If I wanted you to fuck me, I'd seduce you, not piss you off."

"I will not listen to your lewdness or play your games, Lucidity," he said, and his grip began to slacken as he pushed himself up.

Without thought, she promptly flipped them over so that Sesshomaru was the one on his back, the mokomoko stretched out around them, her legs tight on either side of him, fingers digging into his chest, as she peered down at him. "I'm not playing any games," she said. "I'm trying to get you to talk to me, but you're being so fucking difficult. I'd sooner get answers out of a stone than you. I know that you're angry with yourself. I know that you're ashamed about your actions. I'm not asking you to bare your throat, but I need you to communicate with me. Or did you forget that this is what nearly broke us in the beginning?"

She saw it, the barest flicker in his widening eyes. His mouth moved, lips parting for a fraction of a second before he blinked and the alarm vanished. His expression was blank, a perfect mask that she could not read as he eased himself upright. She made no attempt to stop him, remaining where she was and gazing into those golden eyes that betrayed no hint of the daiyoukai's inner musings. No anger, no haughtiness, just...nothing.

"Is that a reminder?" he finally asked. "Or a threat?"

Her fingers clenched at his haori. "Gods be damned, Sesshomaru, I'm not giving you an ultimatum!" she snapped. "I just want you to tell me what's going on instead of telling me I'm not wanted, instead of acting like my touch will infect you. That is _not_ the way to go about this! You can't treat me as if I'm here at your convenience." 

"And you believe insulting my honor is the proper response?" he demanded.

"How would you have me respond, then, when you leave me floundering?" she asked in return. "If I had done as you wanted and went back to the palace, would you have ever explained yourself? Would you have ever told me that you don't want to lose control again? Or would you have gone about your life rebuffing my every advance and leaving me to wonder what the hell was going on? If that happened, it would kill us faster than the Princes of Death."

"I would have explained in my own time, woman, if you had allowed it," said Sesshomaru.

"And what? I should have just turned a blind eye at your lack of respect towards me?"

The perfect mask was starting to fracture. His expression was darkening. Hands descended onto her waist, but she didn't draw away as he leaned close. "You...are insufferable," he growled.

"And you are a royal pain," she muttered, and then pressed herself against him, arms clutching hard around his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celibate? Dear gods, Sesshy, no! Hopefully Lucidity can convince him otherwise! 
> 
> Apologies for the delayed update. Still trying to get back into the swing of things. Hitting a bit of writer's block. I know what I want to happen; it's just writing out the exact details that is so damn frustrating!


	5. Chapter 5

His mouth was hot. He tasted like wild, untamed power, perhaps the very power he rode upon into his true form. Was this the flavor of rage? To imagine the idea was...invigorating, as were the hands sliding over her back, urging her closer and easing the hard lines of their bodies together. Her own fingers slipped their way into his hair as lips and tongue warred with one another and she moaned into the suffocating kiss, until fangs nicked at her when he abruptly pulled away.

"Enough," Sesshomaru said. "This cannot continue."

Lucidity let out a sigh, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. "Ignoring the problem won't help."

Narrowed eyes shifted onto her, near hidden by the shadow of his hair, as a frown curved his mouth. "Until I understand what is happening, I will not take the risk."

"And what then?" she asked. "Even if we knew the cause of this insatiable appetite of yours, what difference will it make? If something out there is affecting you or if it's something in your own blood, how do you plan on handling it?"

"I will rid myself of its influence," was the immediate answer.

"And if you can't?" she pressed. "If this isn't some sort of infection that has an antidote, what do you plan to do?"

"Whatever is necessary," the daiyoukai said in a tone that reverberated finality as he began to sit forward, his hands on her waist.

She pushed back against him, holding him in place, and leaned forward to brush her lips against his ear. "Refusing to act on your desires out of fear is the same as admitting defeat," she whispered and felt him stiffen, hearing a low growl form in his throat. "You know I'm right. The same as you know that I'm stronger than you. You're afraid that you'll hurt me, but until I sleep again, you can't. Take the time to train yourself, just as you do with everything else."

"And how would you suggest doing that, Guardian?"

That he would ask was a good sign. That he would call her by title, though, was a little disconcerting. It seemed almost mocking, but his expression was indecipherable when she settled back onto his thighs. Bringing a hand up, she brushed aside those silver locks that had become disheveled in their back-and-forth tumbling, so that nothing obscured his face from view. She wondered if there would ever come a time when she no longer paused to marvel at the beauty he possessed, at how achingly attractive he was to her, or how he could, with little more than a word or gesture, render her a breathless slave to passion. Her fingers traced along his cheek and over the line of his jaw, her eyes following the trail, as though mesmerized by her own movements. She stopped only when her thumb came to linger on his bottom lip. She didn't know what was happening to him. On some level, she couldn't comprehend. And yet the idea that he would not kiss her, that she would not feel his lips or hands on her skin in times of solitude, nor his arms around her while they laid together at night, waiting for the sun to rise, induced a crippling pain the likes of which she found difficult to believe, as though this was a rejection she could not live with. A price to pay, she understood, when one dared to give themselves to another.

"You've controlled yourself before," she said into the silence that had risen between them, her gaze never wavering from his mouth. "When I was still mortal, the first time we laid together, you were careful not to hurt me. I know you can do it again."

His lips parted and her thumb slipped away, though her fingers curled around his chin, the back of her knuckles caressing over the skin. "Circumstances have changed since then," he said. "I am...unaccustomed to this feral need that has taken root."

"Everything has changed since then," she murmured, and her eyes flicked up finally and she saw his do the same, as if he'd known all along when she'd look at him. "We all must adapt at some point, should we not?"

He blinked, the only sign he gave that he was even remotely taken aback by her words, before his eyes briefly fell shut and his arms slid around her. The mere sensation sent a thrill through her and she had to swallow as he drew her against him. His hand rose to the back of her neck as he leaned in. "Never," he said, "insult my honor again, Lucidity."

"And you will never treat me like a servant again," she replied at once.

The corner of his mouth twitched. Whether he was amused or otherwise, she wasn't certain, not until there came the renewed grip around her waist. "Your terms...are acceptable," he said, his voice soft, little more than a whisper, and then she felt the warm pressure of his lips against hers. Her mouth opened for him and his tongue slid inside. And yet his touch was little more than a whisper of a caress before he unexpectedly pulled back. A protest nearly burst from her until his mouth found a new spot to taunt just below her ear, and then traveled down the side of her neck. It was like a jolt of electricity, each shift of his lips, every gust of breath on her skin. Knowing that she had almost lost this, however long or brief a time it would have been, filled her with a mixture of relief and excitement, which only served to fuel the arousal that the daiyoukai so effortlessly lit inside her.

And the hands that were suddenly on her knees, guiding the material of her robes up her thighs, stirred those rising flames. Her weight shifted with the clothing now caught about her waist and clawed fingers brushing over her bare backside, and she felt his mouth wander along her collar bone, teeth grazing. With her hands gliding down his arms and coming to rest in the crook of his elbows, she bared her throat to him until he bit down, gentle, never daring to break the skin, and pulled her closer. She could feel him, a growing firmness that eased against her, with nothing more than a thin layer of youkai silk separating them. And, without thought, she rolled her hips into him. His body stiffened beneath her, a grunt reverberating along her throat, and she did it again. This time, he moved himself against her in return, his lips and tongue playing over her neck. She could feel his length hardening, could feel herself responding, the moisture that gathered between her legs, and moaned as their hips met again.

Together, they moved, their bodies dancing in a promise of what was to come, and steadily driving one another into a fever of burning desire. He was kissing her, a deep, devouring embrace that near robbed her of her senses. His hands slid over her thighs, down to her knees, and back up again, urging her to him with a growing impatience. Yet she was the one who reached down, the one who found the opening of his hakama and freed the throbbing organ from its confines. She was the one who brought them together while the daiyoukai's claws scraped at her skin, her knees straddling his lap, and felt the press of him at her entrance. The kiss broke and the echo of labored gasps filled the air. She was above him, gazing down, her hands between them as she basked in the sight of the youkai lord of the west as no one else was permitted. His lips were parted, eyes shut, and the quickened breaths that escaped him were a pleasure unto themselves, knowing that his passion, his vulnerability was for her and her alone. 

"Look at me," she whispered, and those golden eyes opened at once. At the same time, his hands squeezed at her waist and the anticipation conveyed in the simple gesture sent a thrill through her. "Trust me to help you with this, Sesshomaru." 

"Lucidity-" he began, only for his voice to be cut off with a grunt that had him clenching his teeth when she took him inside her. Her moan was breathless as he filled her and he, in turn, raised his hips until he was sheathed to the hilt. Her hands came up to grip at his shoulders, her back arching, and he lifted himself again, pushing inside her depths. He was watching her as he did this, as though attempting to draw out every last secret her body had to offer, and it never occurred to her to drop her gaze, to look anywhere else but at him. A single arm wrapped about her waist as he braced himself upon one hand to thrust into her once more. Again and again, he slid into her, clutching her to his frame, his eyes narrowed with such unwavering concentration that she knew she would lose herself in those scorching pools of gold if she was not careful.

And biting down on her lip, she found herself leaning back, hands on his thighs, never breaking her gaze from his, and met his strokes with her own rolling hips. She saw his fingers dig into the earth, his teeth grit, and the rush of pleasure gripped at her as surely as it did him. She met him again, matching his pace, his rhythm, which steadily began to quicken until she could not stop herself from looking away, from tossing her head back and baring her throat with a shuddering moan. Her fingers bit into his thighs, but he never wavered and nor did she, not even when she felt the claws on her throat, raking down towards her collar bone and pushing beneath the neckline of her robes. Lower still, he eased the material until his hand was brushing over a bare shoulder, gripping gently, as their bodies continued to move, sliding together. 

And then she felt him sit forward. His mouth latched onto her throat as he held her to him, his hips never stopping, and the waves of ecstasy came washing over her in greater earnest every time he lifted her. His hand was wandering again, brushing along the other side of her neck, holding her in place as though he intended to feast on her in any way he could. And yet he suddenly took his mouth away from her skin, only for her to feel the caress of it against her ear, his hot breath flowing over her cheek. "Lucidity," he groaned, and the deep echo of that voice, the sound of her own name spoken with such strain, sent a chorus of shivers down her spine that had her contracting around his length. The daiyoukai gave a hard thrust that jolted an unbidden cry from her lips. And he did it over and over, his breath echoing louder and louder in her ear. She could feel how tight he was clutching at her, how unyielding his body was, how he refused, utterly refused, to let go. Yet she needed him to. She needed the wildness of his desire, needed him to feel that temptation, to burn away every last ounce of rationality. This would not work otherwise.

Lucidity knew what poison to use. It filled her mouth when she slid her teeth across her tongue and the scent of it triggered an immediate response in Sesshomaru. He'd been so careful, after all. The restraint he showed in his touch had not gone unnoticed. And now his efforts were for naught as he went rigid and drew back, gazing up at her with a sense of wary surprise. And then there was anger that flashed in his eyes when she took his face in her hands. She could feel the tension in him, felt his attempt to pull from her grasp, but it was too late. She shoved her tongue between his lips, blood and all, blue eyes fixed on gold, the latter wide with a rare and entrancing display of pure shock. She barely noticed his claws digging into her arms, unable to pierce through the material of her robes, and yet determined to leave some lasting reminder on her skin.

He started to push at her and she pushed right back, knocking him onto the ground, her mouth still locked to his, and moaned as she rode him. With her strength, she held him there, his frame trapped by her legs, unable to raise his arms that she'd pinned to his sides. And all the while, her blood trickled between their mouths, her body rolling against his. The movements were smooth, yet sharp with the rising pressure that had her quickening the pace. Shivers racing up her spine had her arching her back and she braced herself against Sesshomaru, who succeeded in tearing his mouth from hers, teeth clenched and stained red, his eyes blazing. Gods! Those eyes! A glaring scarlet that seared through her as she straightened, staring down at the daiyoukai gathering his power beneath her, but it would never be enough to shatter her hold. Yet she could feel the strength in it, and in his grasp as well when his hands managed to seize her waist. And yet she never wavered, never allowed him to rise, even as she rode him to completion. In one last brutal stroke, the mind-numbing bliss crashed down on her, wrenching a cry from her throat, and the daiyoukai, in turn, stiffened beneath her, raising his hips, his grip bruising, and she saw his head tilt back, presenting her with the long line of his pale throat, as he groaned his release. 

His body began to relax, and yet the moment she dared to ease her grip, Lucidity found herself on her back, her chin clamped hard in his hand, his fangs bared in a silent snarl as he glared at her. Her heart was pulsing away in her throat at the sight of such fury, his eyes that same, brilliant shade of red, as he bore down on her, his weight pressing her into the ground. And suddenly his mouth was on hers, his teeth biting, his tongue thrusting, and he moved against her, their bodies still connected. Her hands worked their way into his hair, gathering up the mass of locks, and she savored the taste of him, the sensation of him inside, before forcing his head back. His fang snagged on her lip and she felt the skin split, felt the blood trickle free, but soon she was staring up at the daiyoukai caught in her grasp, at the crimson mess painted across his mouth.

"That's enough," she said, only for him to reach up and seize a wrist in either hand. And she let him break her grip, let him bring her arms above her head, pinning her wrists in one hand, while his other wandered down, over her neck and chest, to pull at the line of her robe until the mound of a single breast was exposed. His fingers clamped down onto the tender flesh, his claws piercing, and the spark of pain brought a gasp to her lips as she began to writhe. And he thrust into her, hard and fast, as though scolding her for daring to move. "W-wait!" she panted. "Sesshomaru-" 

He growled, a loud, sharp sound, yet said nothing as he lifted her lower body to him, thrusting deeper, pushing at her threshold so that she clenched her teeth against her own yearnings, against such desires that would make others blush, perhaps even cringe.

"No-" And yet he cut her off with another hard jolt that had her crying out. Her body shifted in his grasp, her hips twisting, but he only renewed his grip. His claws slid in deeper, both around her breast and into the skin of her wrists. She could feel the blood on her underarms as he moved again, before she finally shouted, "Dammit! I need you to stop, you stupid dog!" 

He froze. 

Whether it was the raised voice or grievous insult that no one but she could get away with, Lucidity didn't know, nor did she care as she glared up at him, still trapped in an iron grip that would have shattered a mortal body. "That's what I need you to do," she said. "I need you to listen. Get a hold of yourself and that blasted beast of yours whenever you taste my blood. Stop pushing it to the point where I have to physically overpower you so that you give me a chance to rest."

Sesshomaru didn't respond, merely gazed down at her. And then she felt the claws being retracted from her breast, only for him to slide the fingers into her hair, tugging at the locks and forcing her head back. She caught a glimpse of a scowl before she found herself staring up at the stretch of sky spotted with clouds, felt Sesshomaru move above her, and then the tongue on her exposed throat, his teeth so near the jugular. She shuddered, her pulse racing, wondering if he would listen, if he would stop, or if....

"You will be my undoing, woman," the daiyoukai rumbled in her ear, and she gasped when he suddenly extracted himself. Her wrists were released as he pushed himself up, and she did the same, easing herself onto her elbows and peering up at him where he knelt between her legs. He was wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, watching her as he did so, then lowered his arm. Without warning, his hand shot out and she was being yanked forward and into his lap before she understood what was happening. He held tight to her upper arms, his teeth on her ear, and a low, resonating growl rose from his throat. "Never force your blood onto me again, not when there is a possibility that I will not regain control."

Panting softly, she did her best not to groan as those fingers dug into her. "But you did, and I know you still struggle. It would not be considered training if you didn't."

"Idiot woman," he said. "You do not understand."

Lucidity drew back until she was able to meet his gaze, still trapped in his grasp, his body so stiff beneath hers. There was nothing friendly in his expression, the way his eyes were narrowed or the hard frown on his lips. Every bit of him was disapproving, and she let out a sigh before leaning forward to lay her head against his chest. "I trust you, Sesshomaru," she said. "I know you will never really hurt me."

* * *

Steam wafted through the air and veiled the further recesses of the hot springs from view, making the terrain of the floors nearly indistinguishable from the texture of the walls. As usual, lanterns placed sporadically throughout the room provided a source of light beneath the palace and the fire of these lanterns danced across the walls and ceiling. The shadows created the illusion of great activity; though, in reality, the only two souls who occupied the room were quiet and still, simply experiencing the warmth of the waters, engrossed in their own separate thoughts. The time spent here had been in silence, either of them washing away the events of the afternoon from their bodies. Not a word had been spoken since they had ventured into the hot springs, but that in itself was not unusual, nor was the daiyoukai's penchant for ignoring her while he bathed.

And yet Lucidity found herself wondering about the day, about her own actions, the wisdom or lack thereof behind her decisions. She might have been the Guardian of the East, but there were times when she made choices as a result of an emotional response rather than a logical one. And she'd been passionate about what she'd chosen on the mountain, determined to convince Sesshomaru to change his mind. She'd been successful, more or less, but now, watching him in what seemed to be a sullen silence, she was becoming doubtful. Had introducing her blood been the tipping point? Had that gone beyond what was forgivable? Sesshomaru was far from pleased with her. He had not told her as much, but she knew, from the way his eyes turned from her to the furrow in his brow; he was unhappy about what she'd done. And she, too, wondered if any of it should be repeated, when he was so against the idea. She did not want to force him, but nor did she want to give this up without some type of fight. Yet what was the cause of this beast that plagued Sesshomaru? Could it be overcome? She couldn't fathom any answers. 

Perhaps, someone else could and, pressing the heel of her hand against her temple, Lucidity closed her eyes. The action itself was not required, but, in some way, the physical touch helped her relax, allowed her to lower the defenses she had so carefully constructed. And the gates that kept the memories at bay slowly began to open, until Lucidity found herself wading through the years of her predecessor. It was easier now than it had been in the beginning. Before, searching through the memories had been like diving into the sea and sinking beneath the waves of information that could drown her at a moment's notice. She never knew where she would land or if what she needed would be in the millennia of Satomi's life that she was recalling. Yet now that she had become more familiar with the terrain, she could navigate her landing more precisely, usually within the century. There was so little to work with, though. It was only towards the end that Satomi began interacting so closely with mortals. And even then, she had kept the company of humans, rather than youkai, more often than not. Satomi had known much about the Viper Clan, for instance, but almost nothing about those of Sesshomaru's line.

* * *

 

_A child, no more than eight-years-old, perhaps. He seemed a proud boy, glaring up at her with a defiant gaze, hands forming tiny fists at his sides. Tears were in his golden eyes, which trickled over the long, jagged marks of an off-blue color on his cheeks. With his teeth clenched and bared, she could see the curve of fangs. He was trembling in his tiny temper, covered in dirt, scrapes, and bruises. A cut on his forehead was bleeding profusely, but he ignored it, as he did the body of the great fallen beast behind him._

_"A show of gratitude would be more appropriate, little daemon," she was saying._

_"And who are you to make that command of me?!" he shouted with as much authority and fury as his young voice could manage._

_"I am the one who saved your life," she replied. "That youkai was far too much for one so small to prevail over. You should consider this a lesson and take it to heart. Honestly, what were you thinking?"_

_Though he was in the midst of wiping angrily at his eyes, the boy suddenly straightened, shoulders pulled back, chest out, doing his best to appear so proud, in spite of his tears. "I was training," he declared. "I fight only the strongest."_

_Her brows rose. "Oh? And why is that?"_

_"To be the most powerful!"_

_"And what would you do with that power?"_

_The boy folded his arms and the haughtiness that filled his features gave her the impression of a rather stubborn young man instead of a child, especially when he said, "I will conquer the lands. This is my father's territory and all he does is want to keep what he already has. But I will show him how much more it can be."_

_Such grand dreams for one so tiny. And yet the abilities of his she had witnessed, even if he had almost been killed, had been impressive. It made her wonder what he would be capable of when he became older, if he was fortunate to live that long. Stepping closer, she crouched down so that she was level with him. He unfolded his arms as he took a step back, glaring at her with an ever increasing dislike. "Tell me, little daemon: what do you plan on doing when you have built up this territory of yours?"_

_He snorted, as if she had asked the dumbest question in the world. "What else? I will rule the land and all the youkai in it, including you!"_

_So easy it would be, to kill him now. Perhaps she should have allowed the beast to do as it wanted. Yet it would be a petty thing, to slaughter one over the ignorance of youth. "All right," she eventually said. "If you wish to come find me when you're older, to prove your power, so be it. Yet, until that happens, I want you to remember something: you can have all the land, all the power, all the wealth that the world has to offer, but everything will be for naught if you have no true purpose. Fighting to obtain, simply to rule, fulfills no one in the end."_

_Golden eyes blinked at her and, for a moment, his proud demeanor shifted, his arms lowering to his sides, before the boy seemed to remember himself and shook his head, sneering at her. "Purpose? I know my purpose! If you think you're so clever, what's yours?"_

_She shook her head and straightened, gazing down at him. "To keep little fools like you alive."_

_The boy scoffed. "And why would you do that?"_

_"Life is everything, little daemon. It is the reason we exist." She stepped closer, causing him to move back, his small hands forming into fists and fangs bared in warning. "Have respect for the lives you take on your path to supreme conquest or you will walk this world truly blind to what it can offer."_

_The boy moved back, his body taut and ready to spring. "And what would you know about supreme conquest? You aren't that powerful. Are you even youkai? You don't smell like it. And your aura is pitiful."_

_The first hint of irritation had her bristling. Such a little whelp. One who had potential, a potential that she would not put a stop to simply because he might become a threat later on in life. Yet she would ensure that he remembered this day. And the moment she dropped her defenses, the moment she allowed her aura to expand, to blanket him and the land, until the very air crackled around them, she knew she had succeeded. He skittered backwards so fast that his feet became entangled and he fell hard onto his back. His small chest rose and fell rapidly as she came to stand over him. "Do you understand now, little daemon?" she asked, but he merely stared up at her, mouth gaping open. "Do not live for the sake of power alone."_

_"Who-who are you?" he asked in a choked whisper._

_"I have no name."_

_The boy swallowed, and his voice was a little stronger when he next asked, "What are you?"_

_She tilted her head. "That is a very involved answer, little daemon."_

_"Stop...stop calling me that," he said as he pushed himself up and did his best at a defiant glare. "My name is Toga."'_

* * *

 

Something touched her hair and, for a moment, Lucidity was bewildered by her surroundings. For a handful of seconds after opening her eyes, she couldn't understand how she came to be underground, when she had just been standing upon the beach, listening to the sound of waves and a little brat who needed a good smack across the face. Vaguely, she was aware of lowering her arm across her lap as she stared into the water of the hot spring, the confusion mounting, even as she felt someone touch her cheek and tilt her head back, until she was staring up at a face that was so familiar and yet so strange. Screwing her eyes shut, she pulled back and shook her head, before she looked again, knowing she ought to recognize the one she was staring at. And yet the confusion persisted, even as she felt the memories draining away, one drop at a time. Slow, agonizing, it was, until she could tolerate the sight no longer and her forehead came to rest against a warm leg. 

"Lucidity?" he called, but she merely groaned in return. "Look at me." 

She didn't obey, but nor did she fight when a pair of hands eased her away and took hold of her face, tilting her head back just as before. Except this time, he leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes widened, for a fraction of a second, before she tasted the familiar flavor of his tongue, felt the curve of his mouth, and the path his fingers painted through her hair as no other had ever done, so that he might hold her in this embrace. She began to relax, sighing against his lips, and heard a deep rumble in his chest in response. Whether he approved or disapproved, she didn't know, not even when he pulled back to stare down at her, his expression smooth and stoic, as if he had never resorted to such intimate lengths to drag her out of the void that her mind had become.

Sesshomaru straightened, his hands falling away, and she held his gaze a moment longer before turning to lean her head against his leg. Yes, this is where she was supposed to be. They sat together at the edge of the hot spring, water lapping at their bodies, but he was on higher rock than she, so that her shoulders were level with his knees, which made him the perfect spot to rest against. Of course, it also left her completely exposed, being so close to him. He had the perfect view, for more than one aspect of her if he so wished. And now his hand was in her hair, sliding into the locks, but he did not lift them away to see what she was hiding. Rather, he combed his fingers through the strands and she felt the brush of his claws against her scalp. 

"What memories did you allow to ensnare you this time?" he asked. 

"An ancestor of yours, I believe," she replied, and the fingers paused. "He was the only one Satomi ever encountered." 

"A subject I will question you later on," Sesshomaru said, and the rough tone in his voice had her glancing up. "You seek information on my family. Why?" 

"I'm trying to understand what is going on with you-" 

"This I will see to on my own," he interrupted. "I will have no more of your interference." 

On reflex, her mouth opened, some word or other on the tip of her tongue, and yet no argument was forthcoming. What could she say that she had not already said? What could she do that she had not already done? Nothing more than a frustrated sigh escaped her in the end before she closed her mouth and laid her head back down on the daiyoukai's thigh. "You are so damn infuriating," she muttered. 

"And you are not without your vexing qualities, woman," said Sesshomaru, his hand slipping from her hair to rest on her shoulder. "Nor your deceitful tongue." 

Startled, she jerked back, gaping up at the daiyoukai, completely flabbergasted at such an out of the blue statement. "What are-"

"You lied, Lucidity," he continued. 

"I don't know-"

He squeezed her shoulder. "The creature that injured you; you lied about its motives for attacking. I would know the truth." 

Well aware that her mouth was hanging open, Lucidity could only stare, torn somewhere between exasperation and annoyance. "You...how did-? Seriously?!" That had been days ago. Why was he bringing it up now? And what the hell had given her away this time?! 

He let out a soft snort, the corner of his mouth curling. "You are poorly skilled at fooling me," he said. "I suggest you refrain from doing so in the future. Now tell me what I want to know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I do promise that there is some plot and purpose to this story. It won't all be about the sex. XD 
> 
> Also, fun fact: the scene of Satomi's memory is actually part of a prequel I've been planning, about how she meets her husband and decides to become mortal. Nothing much has been written, but I'll tell you all now that he absolutely loathes her in the beginning and for good reason. I mean, who wouldn't hate the person who killed your father?


	6. Chapter 6

"I hate being out here. Do you really have to do this? They're just a nuisance. Not even worth the time to talk to."

"I have given you my reasons; I will not repeat myself."

"Sesshomaru, come on-"

"Silence, woman."

"This isn't necessary!"

Sesshomaru shot her a cold glare and Lucidity knew it was futile. With a huff, she looked away, out towards the expanse of ocean that surrounded them on all sides. Floating above on Ah-Un, she and Jaken sat side-by-side while Sesshomaru drifted further along, suspended by his own energy. This was not the first time they had argued about coming out here, but it was definitely the last. Nothing she could say would convince him otherwise. His mind had been completely one-track for days and he had allowed nothing to sway him, not even her disdain for open water. Lucidity glared at the offending stretch of sea, grinding her teeth, while Jaken cleared his throat softly beside her.

"I know that you and Sesshomaru-sama come from different backgrounds, my Lady, but I'm sure you understand that this is a matter of pride for him," Jaken said with an air of someone patiently imparting great wisdom. "You were assaulted on the orders of another. It is to be expected that my lord ensures that the youkai responsible is punished accordingly." 

"Yeah, yeah," Lucidity muttered. "An eye for an eye."

"It is more than personal vendetta," he continued. "You are the wife of a lord. If he allows the one who harmed you, of all people, to go free, what sort of message would it send to his subjects? He cannot let this-"

"I know!" she snapped. "Gods, believe me, I know."

It was the very reason she hadn't wanted to tell Sesshomaru anything. She hadn't wanted to answer any of his questions or give in to any of his demands. She knew he wouldn't let this lie if he found out, knew that he'd pursue his retribution to the ends of the earth and back again if need be, and not because it was to keep her safe or for some selfless reason. 

"You are certain this is where you battled the kraken?"

Lucidity didn't look at Sesshomaru when he spoke, but the hand in her lap tightened into a fist, and it took a moment or two for her to unlock her jaw before she replied. "Yes. I can still sense the residual traces of the fault line."

"Open a path."

"Water isn't my element, Sesshomaru; you know this."

"You have other means to do what I ask."

"The amount of energy that would take-"

"Is a fraction of your abilities," he said. "Your arguments do nothing but postpone the inevitable, Lucidity. Need I remind you that we have already discussed this at length? You agreed to show me the way. Now do it."

Teeth clenching, she peered over at him and met that molten gaze of his that seemed to reflect how utterly unmoved he was by her repeated attempts to thwart his plans. She couldn't help but recall that their "discussion at length" had involved hours of arguing. Days of it, really, off and on, with neither of them having any peace of mind until they had finally come to terms. He'd worn her down in the end. As soon as he learned the truth behind the kraken's attack, he'd given her no respite. He was relentless in this as he was in everything else. And the fact remained that she had no grounds to refuse him; she understood how he worked and would probably do the same in his position. Simply because this was not the outcome she wanted wasn't reason enough to make him appear weak.

"Do not wipe out the entire population over the actions of a few," she eventually said, but he did not respond, merely looked at her until she complied, however reluctant she might have been. And comply she did, with nary a thought. It took some effort, some concentration, the same as it would take a woodsman to chop wood. One had to aim, swing, and control the force of the impact. And Lucidity did no different with the torrent of power she sent towards the depths of the ocean. Like a hurricane, the wind tore through the water and spread it apart, raising the walls high in a jarring reminder of an ancient story of another god parting a particular sea. Yet Lucidity went beyond creating a simple path, but pushed the water further until miles of ocean floor were revealed. It was dull and barren with no structures of coral or rock to decorate the otherwise mundane sight of wet sand. Here and there, however, she spotted several unfortunate creatures flopping around that had not escaped with the receding water. As her eyes followed a descending Sesshomaru, she vaguely wondered what other sort of animals might be below the sand, the ones that made burrows and bided their time until their prey came to them. 

"This is astonishing!" Jaken suddenly breathed as he guided Ah-Un to the ground. "Why have you bothered with air pockets if you were capable of this?! Not that I would ever question the ways a Guardian does battle, but it is very confusing to me. You could have easily dispatched your enemies. Why did you risk being hurt?" 

"Like Sesshomaru, I try not to expend any unnecessary energy," Lucidity said, and then added in an undertone, "But I also...underestimated the kraken." 

"It must have been a lesson well learned," the imp remarked. "You say this is where you fought with the beast? There doesn't seem to be anything left of it." 

Indeed, Lucidity had noticed this as well. Slipping off of Ah-Un, she touched down on the warm sand that sank beneath her feet and peered around. Through the spray of salty mist and the high power of winds that stretched outward to keep the crushing weight of the water at bay, she could see no evidence of what had taken place here. The body of the kraken, regardless of how large it was, had been swept away, devoured by the marine life. And as for the ones who controlled it, there was no sign of them. Lucidity walked along the ocean floor, peering around at what little there was to see, and heard the lumbering footsteps of Ah-Un trailing after. She came to stand beside Sesshomaru, who was gazing up at the vast wall of water, and cast him a sideways glance. There was little she could discern from the way he was scrutinizing what blocked his passage, but he was not requesting that she widen the path. She was just beginning to wonder if he had spotted something in the water that she had not when he suddenly unsheathed Bakusaiga. Within seconds, the air rattled with a blast of power that was propelled into the water.

Lucidity watched the swirling mass of emerald quickly disappear from view into the darkness of the sea before turning to Sesshomaru. "A warning?" she asked. 

"An announcement," he replied without looking at her.

Peering back into the water, she found herself doubtful that anyone was still in the area to receive this grand, albeit deadly announcement of their presence. Of course, she loathed the thought of it being received at all and her eyes darted about, searching for some threat or other in the murky depths. Yet there was nothing. No movement, no cries of battle, no tentacles piercings through body parts. And for good measure, Lucidity turned to take in the rest of their surroundings, at the long stretch of exposed ground and the far walls of water her power continued to hold. Silence prevailed. Her heart thudded with a tentative hope that their excursion out here was for naught. She could endure any displeasure from Sesshomaru if he dared to question her integrity, to question that she had, indeed, guided him to the correct place, because she had absolutely no idea where else to search and would tell him as much. He could, though, demand that she use Sagashite to locate his targets; she could only pray that they were outside of her domain. 

She was on the verge of speaking his name, hoping, somehow, to urge him back to the mainland, when she felt the first tremor. She didn't need to hear Jaken's exclamation of fright or see the ocean floor churn beneath her feet to realize how big of a fool she had been for ever daring to hope that they were alone. Witnessing the long mass rise out of the sand and cut a path across the exposed land was more than enough to convince her how terribly mistaken she was. As the tentacle stretched its way towards the sky, she was forcefully reminded of pictures she'd seen of redwood trees, so tall and thick that the top was lost to the sky and tunnels had to be carved into their trunks so that vehicles could pass through.

"Did you not say you killed it?" came the impatient question from Sesshomaru.

"I did," Lucidity breathed. "This isn't...the same.... This one makes the first look like an ant."

"An ant?!" shrieked Jaken. "Didn't that ant impale you? More than once?!"

Lucidity had a similar line of thought, but it was Sesshomaru who acted first. Before she could so much as draw up a weapon, he had bounded forward, leaping high into the air, and sliced through the tentacle in a single stroke. He fell back, landing in almost the exact same spot he'd been standing in a moment ago, his movements so quick and precise that if someone had not been paying attention, they could have easily assumed that the attack came from an outside source. The severed half collapsed with a resonating thud that shook Lucidity's very bones while what remained weaved back and forth; she could easily imagine screams of agony in the grotesque display, coupled with the heavy droplets of dark, blue blood that began to rain down. And yet none of it lasted for long, as the consequences of being cut by Bakusaiga took effect and the tentacle began to disintegrate in an explosion of emerald light. She knew that this second kraken would be dead within minutes, perhaps less. One less thing to worry about. 

Or it would have been, if it was not for the wave of creatures that came pouring out of the waters. 

On all sides, they came, a confusion of rapid movement and bright colors. Sunlight glinted off helms and armor of various shades of greens and blues. Each one sported hair of stark white and skin not unlike green of sea foam, their hands and feet webbed, necks lined with gills. Distinctly humanoid. Distinctly youkai. And very, very hostile. In every single hand, a weapon was wielded. And all blades, no matter the weapon-be it sword, arrow, or spear-were edged with barbs, designed to tear flesh as readily as they were designed to impale. Twice the damage. Twice the pain. And it was with these weapons that a great number of the undersea warriors hacked away at the mangled limb of the kraken, eventually cutting off that which was infected. A horn sounded somewhere in their midst and the youkai encircled Lucidity, Sesshomaru, Jaken, and Ah-Un, stances low, feet spread, waiting for the next signal, the one that would begin the battle. 

An accumulation of power gathered in Lucidity's hand, glowing softly for an instant, before it began to expand, stopping only when she was grasping the hilt of a single-edged sword. She held it loosely at her side as she shifted a step closer to Sesshomaru. In the distance, beyond the many heads of the youkai eager to slaughter them, she could see the massive, distorted figure of the kraken in the water, still whole and unharmed, with many more limbs stretching out, seeking vengeance for its fallen limb, but remaining in the confines of its natural element.

"I believe that thing could feed the entire country," she muttered. 

"Then I will leave you to deal with it," Sesshomaru replied. "And I will see to the rest." 

And yet, before either of them could take a step, a movement in the ranks of the youkai caught her attention. Someone was walking forward, one who looked no different from the others save for the extra decoration on the top of his helm, a sort of fin that cut down the middle and trailed towards his back. And as the helms did not covers their faces, Lucidity was easily able to make out the disdain so visibly etched upon his as he fixed her with narrowed eyes that held such malice. 

"Bear witness, men!" he spat. "Never trust the word of a land dweller. This female claimed she would leave us in peace and now she has brought more enemies to our home to slaughter us all. See to it that none-" 

"She betrayed nothing until it was ordered of her," came the calm declaration from the daiyoukai.

"And who are you to speak for her?" the leader sneered. 

"The lord husband of the woman you dared to injure!" announced a most irate Jaken, looking for all the world as if he was ready to flay the flesh from their bones. "He is here to strike you from the world! You will learn what it means to cross Sesshomaru-sama!" 

"Oh?" replied the leader. "Is protecting our territory a matter of insult to you, O Mighty Sesshomaru-sama? You had best keep your wife in line, if that is true, lest she come to harm." 

"You are the one who gave the order, then?" asked the daiyoukai, giving no inclination that the other had spoken. 

The leader gave a derisive snort. "I was not about to allow a woman to interfere with our revenge."

"Revenge?" Lucidity echoed, stepping forward on impulse and ignoring the shifting stances and hands tightening upon weapons. "Only trespassing was mentioned when I was last here; not that any of you gave me a chance to talk before you sent your pet after me."

"And why would we?!" shouted the leader. "Our people have been plagued by madness because of the land dwellers. You are the ones who sent the black sickness to us. We have died by the hundreds. We were forced to slaughter our own kin to keep the sickness from spreading. Revenge is ours by right!"

Lucidity, so taken aback by this unexpected information, found herself glancing at Sesshomaru on impulse. He peered back at her, saying nothing, but the brief exchange was all that was needed to know that they understood each other, understood what had happened here.

Yet Jaken, bristling with indignation, was the one unable to control his tongue. "You imbeciles!" he shrieked. "That plague was not of our doing! It didn't even come from this world. It was as much our enemy as it was yours. And you attack the one responsible for-"

"LIES!" cried the leader as he drew his sword, and there was a ripple among his troops, a rush of anticipation that had Lucidity flexing her fingers around the hilt of her own weapon. "The land dwellers drive us back into the water whenever we attempt to set foot onto dry soil. You force us into hiding. It's only a matter of time before you eradicate our people! I will see to it that yours are washed away, your homes reduced to ruin. Every last land dweller will pay for our suffering!" 

"Sesshomaru," Lucidity whispered, and heard a soft grunt in return as she stared at the seething hatred upon the face of their enemy, "kill them all."

* * *

The daiyoukai was not one who sought approval or permission. Those who expected it of him in the past had been readily dealt with. Except for her. Always, she was the exception. He had intended to rid them of any threat these youkai posed long before he arrived here, whether it meant slaughtering each and every last one or a single individual. It did not matter if she became angry with him; he would do what was necessary. And yet, hearing her words erased any restraint that might have lingered. He was able to go forward, knowing there would be no repercussions with her.

Bakusaiga cut a path through the horde, even with its power contained. In such an enclosed space, he was unwilling to risk the full potential of Bakusaiga when not all present were his enemy. Regardless, many fell to his blade, their demise so abrupt that few had time to scream as their bodies disintegrated. The daiyoukai moved swiftly, rapidly depleting their numbers with every step he took. And yet, for each one he cut down, several more poured into the clearing. When he neared the wall of water, he saw the figures of more youkai stretching through the ocean, further than he could see. Their numbers were, perhaps, beyond the counting.

"Kill them all," she had said. And that he could and would do. There was no reasoning with the insanity of their certainty, their resolve to carry out revenge against an imagined enemy. No, that was inaccurate. The enemy was no longer imagined, but one of their own creation. And it would be their undoing.

A great cry went up among the youkai as another wave of energy from Bakusaiga reduced them to nothing but pieces of flesh and bone. Those who remained began to withdraw, closing into formation and leaving Sesshomaru trapped between the horde and the water, as they readied for another assault, one that came in a different form. From their midst, he could see their general. His voice was lost among the other sounds of battle, from the fires of Jaken's Staff to the number who fell screaming under Lucidity's sword, but the signal of his command was in plain view, along with the volley of arrows and spears unleashed. From this direction, Sesshomaru could not use Bakusaiga's power, not with Jaken and Lucidity in the path of the blast. It was with the burn of irritation that he leapt into the air, forced to handle such a formidable weapon as nothing more than a deflection against such a pitiful attack. Even more infuriating it was when several arrows hit their mark, penetrating through armor and flesh before he was able to rip out the offending shafts, indifferent to any further damage caused by the barbs. 

The daiyoukai was growing tired of this play and the sting of pain from the arrowheads only served to fuel his temper. He made quick work of the archers from above with another strike from Bakusaiga, before he turned his attention to those in his way. Jaken, standing astride Ah-Un, had kept the youkai at bay by maintaining a constant ring of fire. The ground was littered with blackened bodies while the ones who were left standing attempted to charge forward, only to be forced to retreat again, and still more attempted to knock the imp down with well-placed spears. In the time it took the daiyoukai to send the youkai into further retreat, Jaken was nearly impaled twice, if not for the quick reactions of Ah-Un blasting the spears into dust.

"Your presence is becoming a liability, Jaken; be gone from here," Sesshomaru ordered as he came to a stop in front of his servant, peering around at the horde and tasting the blood lust on the air, knowing the assault that was to come. But in the endless sea of faces, there was only one he searched for. "Where is Lucidity?"

"She had her sights set on the kraken, my lord, the last I saw."

The answer was...a relief to hear; the kraken was in the opposite direction. As a fresh blow of a horn reached his ears and the youkai charged forward as one, Sesshomaru saw the gleam of the fin upon the general's helm. Once more, the daiyoukai commanded Jaken to retreat, and the moment the shadow of Ah-Un passed over him, he raised Bakusaiga. The emerald wave of energy tore through weapons and bodies alike, covered the sands in blood, and did not stop, not even when it reached the water and those who lay beyond. And in the midst of the chaos of shredded corpses, he lost sight of the fin helm. 

Yet then, without warning, it seemed as if the ocean itself intended to seek its own vengeance. The walls of water that towered over the battlefield were wavering. The sea began to rain down, washing over Sesshomaru's boots, threatening to take him in its hold. Yet he stood his ground, turning on the spot, and saw the youkai receding into the waves, disappearing back into the ocean. And he also saw Lucidity in the distance, rising to her feet from where she had fallen, weaponless and shaking her head. And he knew from how she staggered that she was unfocused, which explained the sudden collapse of her power, the reason why the water had now reached his waist. There were no visible wounds, no smell of blood; he could only fathom what had caused her to slip. A matter he did not have time for when a tentacle reached out from the water and swallowed the Guardian into its grasp. 

Sesshomaru surged forward, but it was for naught as a shock of power stopped him in his tracks. Blinding in its white light, he raised an arm to shield his eyes, but could feel the burn of it on his skin. He was forced to take a step back, then another and another until he finally conceded and took to the air, where Jaken, his own face hidden behind his sleeve, waited with Ah-Un. Sesshomaru could see nothing, but heard the waves that crashed into one another, the angry roll of the waters, and the emptiness that followed as the power began to recede and its heat dwindled into nothing. 

The ocean was still and calm, giving no hint of the death and carnage that lay below. It betrayed nothing, offered up nothing, not youkai or spears or sea monsters. It was quiet. Even when the daiyoukai lowered himself closer to the surface, there was no sign of foe or friend. His fingers tightened on the hilt of Bakusaiga still clutched in his hand. He could not smell...could not sense.... 

A spray of water struck him in the face and he felt the weight of arms around his neck-albeit with no body that could be seen-before he could properly react to the assault. So similar it was to another moment that had happened not long ago, and yet under such different circumstances, and his arm automatically slid around Lucidity's waist as her form grew corporeal once more, hair and clothes heavy with water. He held her in place, feeling his mouth twist in a frown at the unexpected weariness in her gaze. 

"What happened?" he asked. 

"I...I don't know." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bloody hell! This chapter was a pain in the ass! I don't know why, but there was a lack of inspiration for it overall. It was the bane of my existence in the time it took to write and I had to cut it a bit shorter than the others because I just couldn't get anymore out of these scenes. 
> 
> On the bright side, the rest of the story is coming along now that I'm over this hump. If I could just take this chapter outside and shoot it, I would, but sadly it's needed for plot points. Plus, it would leave you all with nothing to read. I hope you enjoy in spite of the shortness!


	7. Chapter 7

"You're covered in blood." 

"I am aware, so do not attempt to change the subject. Now answer me: can you locate the underwater horde?" 

"I saw them retreat after I killed their last pet...or so I hope it was the last." 

"The kraken does not concern me, woman. Are you capable of tracking the youkai or not?" 

"Through the water? No. With Sagashite, I might be able to. But even so, there's miles of ocean and the East has never been familiar with that terrain. So, unless they come onto dry land or attempt another attack like with a fault line that I can sense, there's little chance of finding them." 

"Then your abilities are useless in this endeavor. I will seek them out myself." 

"Sesshomaru, you-son of a bitch, you are seriously bleeding all over the place! Take off your armor and let me-" 

"I will do no such thing. These wounds are not fatal."

"Then why haven't they clotted? We left the ocean ages ago, but you're still bleeding like a stuck pig."

The daiyoukai leveled Lucidity with a glare at being compared to a swine, an animal which he had always found revolting in its mindless existence. "The arrows were tipped with poison," he explained, the discomfort of which he could feel now that the excitement of the fight was over.

Lucidity blinked several times, lips parting in surprise, and then shook her head as she recovered herself. "But I thought you were immune to poison? Your dokkaso-"

"There is enough poison in my body to slow the healing, nothing more," he said.

"Then...let me cauterize the wounds, at least?" she replied, and went so far as to raise a hand towards his injured shoulder. When he caught her wrist, she gave no reaction, merely met his narrowed gaze with an expression that suggested a quiet patience, one that often caused him to wonder at the thoughts drifting behind the blue eyes that studied him so carefully. "Even a daiyoukai can bleed to death," she eventually murmured. "You will lose consciousness at this rate. I can wait and cauterize the wounds then, but I'd prefer to do it now while you're still awake to growl at me." 

Before she had finished speaking, an image had risen to the surface of his mind, of blood curling around a hand and dripping in rivulets onto a bank of snow. So abrupt and unbidden, the memory was, that the combined scents of his dying father and seawater assaulted his senses, to the point where he released Lucidity without realizing he had moved. He peered down at her, at her unwavering gaze, at the tautness of her mouth that betrayed her disapproval, and knew that, in this, she had won. Without a word, he turned away, unburdening himself of his swords before loosening the bindings that held his pauldron and breastplate together, and then went to sit in front of the stream Ah-Un had brought them to a short while ago. The dragon in question was grazing on a low hill nearby, and Sesshomaru watched the lumbering figure cut a slow path under the dying light of the sun before he set his swords and armor aside and laid the mokomoko on the ground. Finally, he shed the haori, which peeled away like a second skin, wet as it was with blood, and cast it onto the grass, just as Lucidity came to kneel beside him. 

"Be quick with it," he said. 

A hand came to rest on his arm and he soon felt fingers moving over the gash in the back of his shoulder. "You mean before Jaken comes back with firewood?" she asked. "Don't want him to see you squirm?" 

"You had best hold your tongue, woman; I am not in the mood for your taunts this-" 

A sharp and unexpected searing agony pierced through his back and his voice broke off in a sharp, undignified inhale of one caught by surprise, as his spine arched and his claws dug into the ground. His initial response was to tear those claws through the fool who dared bring him harm and he could feel how the muscles of his arms stiffened in expectation of the reflex, and yet he managed to remain still. Slowly, he forced himself to relax and turned his head to glare at the one so close to him. She had shifted her position, so that she was kneeling upright and leaning forward, the cloth of her garment brushing against his elbow. However, for all her focus, she was ignoring the seething youkai lord. 

"Was that intentional?" he demanded. 

"Yes," was the immediate and indifferent reply, as her hand wandered over his back, gliding through the blood, until it stopped at another wound. 

"Do you find enjoyment in such acts?" 

She met his gaze then, and there was nothing he could read in hers. "Not particularly, but you _were_ getting on my nerves. You've been getting on my nerves for days, so I suppose it was just petty revenge on my part. Shall I warn you from this point on? Brace yourself, now," she added, and again there came the red hot pain that had him clenching his teeth, his entire frame growing rigid until it passed. "Better?" 

"I am allowing you to burn my flesh at your request," he reminded her. "Enough of your games. Get on with it." 

She snorted softly and suddenly came to crouch in front of him, one hand gliding over his chest, the other braced upon his knee. "If I wanted to play games, I'd bite you on the ear every time to distract you from the pain," she muttered, of which he ignored, as her fingers came to yet another wound, perhaps the worst, centered as it was between his ribs. "This one nearly hit your heart. No wonder your body isn't healing if the poison was able to enter your bloodstream so quickly." 

"I said to get on with it," he told her, "before I lose my patience." 

Her eyes flicked up, then down again and she uttered not a word as she laid the flat of her palm against his ribs. Yet he had seen. Regardless of her apparent indifference, he saw the agitation that she attempted and ultimately failed to hide. He watched as she lost herself in concentration, her eyes moving back and forth, perhaps inspecting or sensing the damage; he could not be certain. She murmured another warning and once more there came the pain that had his body tightening. This time, it was enough for him to close his eyes and tilt his head back, though he uttered not a sound. And then she moved on to the next and final puncture mark, located some inches below the third in the muscles of his stomach. And for a fourth time, he was subjected to the searing agony that left him desiring for some form of retaliation. 

Yet there was none to be had. Only silence followed as Lucidity completed her work on him before lowering her arms into the stream to clean herself of blood. He was perplexed, though, when she straightened. Her hands were cupped and filled with water, which she held out towards him, but not to drink. Instead, she brought her hands to his chest, where he felt the touch of her fingers, soon followed by the sensation of a cool trickle. He glanced down to see the water spreading over his skin, trailing outward in every direction, as her hands rubbed over the fresh burn marks. Slowly, she washed away the blood, not a sound or word passing between them. The only movement he made was to turn his head and watch the progress of the water make its way along his arms.

"You claimed water was not yours to control," he said, when she brought a second handful to his back to repeat the process.

"It's the weakest," she said from behind him. "What you've seen is the most I could ever do with it. The South, though...she can flood a canyon like you or me could fill a bowl. But if she tried anything with the air, she'd be lucky enough to make a leaf dance."

"Then you are at a disadvantage when in the water," he said. "Is that what broke your concentration?"

The hands on his back paused. "I think so," came the soft murmur after a moment. "Usually I travel in an air pocket. However, when I tried to reach the kraken, I was too easy a target for the youkai who were waiting. Traveling as the wind through the water is possible, but...I suppose I'm not used to it. I became so disoriented that I had to back out." He felt her fingers withdraw. "Makes me dizzy just thinking about it."

"Then you will not repeat it when next we encounter them," said Sesshomaru.

Lucidity came back around to kneel in front of him, looking over his form as though searching for some imperfection or other. "And how soon will this next time be?" she eventually asked.

"You disapprove?"

"No, I'm just curious how long it will take," she replied. "You were right about them, after all."

"Are you admitting you were wrong, then, Lucidity?"

Lucidity answered by rolling her eyes. For a moment, he believed that would be the end of it, until he suddenly found the weight of her in his lap, familiar arms snaking around his neck. On reflex, his hands came to rest on her waist as he peered up at her, a frown pulling at his lips. "Is that what you'd like to hear?" she asked. "You were right, I was wrong. I didn't understand what was really going on because I never bothered to question those bastards. We never would have learned how dangerous they actually are if you hadn't been so persistent. Happy now?"

Happy? No, he was not. He was not happy to discover a new enemy, an enemy incensed by a mindless hatred of imagined slights, an enemy who was not worth his time. A nuisance, as Lucidity called them, and yet their numbers and their ability to create destruction through means of nature were enough to garner his attention. That he was forced to debase himself by chasing vermin was insulting. And yet he was no lord, no ruler of any empire, if he allowed such low creatures to wreak havoc upon his lands, to allow the attack upon the female in his arms to go unpunished. He had taken her for his and now.... 

She would see him satisfied. By her own admission, she found herself at fault. And now she put an end to their days of feuding when she sealed her lips to his. What was worse, however, was that he did nothing to stop it. So much of their time as of late had been spent in cold silences or heated arguments, during which neither of them made advances towards the other, regardless of any suppressed desires, present though the urge might have been. An outcome he had not enjoyed, and yet he'd believed it had strengthened his decision to not embrace her, to not lose himself to that carnal beast. She'd nearly convinced him otherwise and he'd taken her again, hoping she was right, that he needed to adapt, until she forced her blood onto him. And the result was...shameful to think on. 

Was he so weak? To succumb to the warm body beneath her fine robes, to allow all resolve to shatter merely from the contours of flesh beneath his hands? The taste of her mouth, the scent of her skin, was more tempting to the daiyoukai in that moment than any source of power ever could be, when he yearned to the point of agony, knowing it was not his to have, not today, not now, not until he had a proper understanding. And it was with the hands of a stranger that he held Lucidity by the arms and pushed her away, when, in truth, he wished to do the exact opposite. And yet his grip remained firm, as did his resolution, as he peered up at her. 

"No," he said, his voice purposely harsh. "We have discussed this." 

She did not fight, but stared down at him, blue eyes wide, and her expression one of anxious discomfort. "But-"

"Nothing you can say, or do, will convince me otherwise, Lucidity," he said. "I would have you respect my decision. Do not attempt to seduce me again, not until this has been settled." 

At first, she didn't move, only stared at him, lips slightly parted, as though she intended to protest. And yet she did nothing more than close her mouth and let out a sigh, casting her gaze towards the streams, as if the water would somehow hold the answers. There was no fight in her as she leaned back, her hands falling away from him to come rest in her lap. "I went too far, didn't I?" He didn't answer, but his silence seemed to be explanation enough, as she then asked, "Are you angry?" 

"No," he said, "but I will not have you swaying me, not in any way. You will maintain your distance and so will I." 

The twitch of her fingers did not go unnoticed, nor did the thinning of her lips pressing together, however stoic she attempted to keep her composure, before she suddenly let out a heavy breath, looked at him, and then nodded. She rose to her feet, stepping back, and held his gaze a moment longer. "You have blood in your hair," was the only thing she said, and then she turned to walk downstream. 

It was with a stale taste on the air that Sesshomaru stood, gathering the mokomoko over his shoulder, and watched her figure come to an eventual stop. With her back still to him, she folded her arms and tilted her head back to peer up at the darkening sky. He loathed this feeling, this...inability to act as he desired, to act _on_ his desires. This was not what he wanted, to leave matters as they were, but there was no other choice, and she seemed to finally understand this, if not accept it. There was nothing else to be done and he turned from the sight, snatching up his bloody haori as he went, right when Jaken emerged from the surrounding woods next to the stream. 

"My lord?" he called out. "I have the firewood. My lord? Where are you going?" 

Sesshomaru did not answer, but continued to make his way upstream, seeking nothing more than a proper bath to wash away the blood and the solitude that came with it, and ultimately leaving behind him the scent of fire and salt water.

* * *

The scratching of the quill was a lonely sound that Lucidity had long since grown accustomed to. Whether this was unfortunate or not made little difference to her. She found comfort in the old practice and familiarity of record keeping, which was just a fancier way to describe journal entries. Normally times of writing were reserved for the brief spells spent on the Isle, when she would jot down all she could remember of their most recent adventures, personal thoughts, moments, or whatever she considered appealing and worthwhile, really. The only reason for any lull in this hobby was because she was too busy, too distracted, to bother. It was not as important to her as other matters. And besides, she was rarely left alone. 

Until recently.

True to his word, Sesshomaru was keeping his distance. Worse than his word, in fact, as far as Lucidity was concerned. He was hellbent, it seemed, on ensuring that he did not give in to temptation, nor allow any opportunity-imagined or otherwise-for her to "sway" him. Not that this surprised her, but it was no less frustrating, the utter lack of...everything between them. She tried to remind herself that it was for a good reason, that Sesshomaru never would have set such boundaries unless it was necessary, and that he was the one who had to fight his own inner...daemons until life could continue as it once had. And yet it was maddening, this constant tension between her and the daiyoukai, to the point where it had replaced all else.

She could not relax around him. The few times she had, his reactions hadn't been favorable. Grabbing him once to get his attention had resulted in her hand being knocked away by a sharp fist. Being absentminded and standing too close was met with cold glares, even a shove one afternoon when a certain part of her anatomy brushed against his arm. He sat across the campfires at night instead of beside her, bathed alone, and overall invited nothing of her company. Even conversations were crippled. Lucidity could not tease him as she once had. Regardless if the jokes were innocent or not, she had little inclination to say anything aloud. They talked shop, discussing little more than the underwater threat and how to find it, the Princes of Death, rumors of powerful youkai throughout the lands; Sesshomaru, after all, would never stop questing for the strongest opponents, at least the ones he did not wed. 

One week. 

Two weeks.

Three weeks. 

Four weeks. 

Life continued on in this vain for well over a month, and Lucidity could only wonder if it was driving Sesshomaru just as crazy. Once, though. She had asked once. In all this time, she'd never pushed, never prodded, never hounded. Nothing. She had accepted his decision, respected his space, and displayed little of her growing discontent. And yet, in spite of all that, the one time she had asked about what he was doing to tame that beast of his, he'd left. Not right then and there, but the very next day saw him departing with Jaken. It wasn't without word, albeit with little explanation. He told her that Jaken knew about some rumor or other about an old, youkai sage who may or may not be of use, but who had no fondness for intruders or outsiders. Sesshomaru had not wanted to risk bringing a gaijin. A loose interpretation, it sounded to her. What he was going to ask the sage, she could only speculate, because she heard nothing more about it because he said nothing more about it, merely instructed her to remain where he could find her before he took off with his servant in tow.

Yes, be a good girl. Stay. Let the men do the work. Sit home and knit or cook or clean. And also, remember, he will never bother with such prying questions, because, no, he never did answer her. He didn't respond at all, in fact, but had walked off, and didn't acknowledge her until the following day when he announced he was leaving. She wasn't sure what to make of it, and what she did make of it, she had no interest in dwelling on.

That had been six days ago. Seven now, actually. Tomorrow would be the start of day eight. Too long it had been to just wait around, so of course Lucidity hadn't stayed put. But she didn't disappear into thin air as she was wont to do more often than not. Instead, she kept her corporeal form, to make it easier for Sesshomaru to track her whenever he decided to return and find her gone; she'd give him that much, considering just how far she was forcing him to search. But she'd be damned if she stayed and twiddled her thumbs while waiting dutifully for him to come back. To hell with that! This was her domain, the Guardian's domain, which far exceeded the territory of some youkai lord. She traveled further across the lands without Sesshomaru than she ever had with him. (Save, perhaps, the time she had gone through the earth to eradicate the blackness.) He'd left Ah-Un with her, too, and the dragon had no qualms with venturing to the ends of the countryside, streaking across the sky or strolling through the hills and mountains, passing villages, and, overall, making damn sure that daiyoukai could follow their scents when he deemed it fit to come back.

If he came back.

The scratching of the quill stopped.

If....

She didn't like that thought. Perhaps it was time to head back to the Isle. If she saw him through Sagashite, alive and well, she could cast her worry aside and simply seethe about her situation. But he'd been gone longer than this before and been just fine. He was supposed to be too stubborn to die, she reminded herself. Maybe she should just visit Inuyasha's village on her own accord, even though she hadn't parted on the best of terms the night of the festival. What was stopping her? They were still friends. They still called her family. She was even Kagome's sister by law. Was it because she knew how upset it could make Sesshomaru? He was going to be angry that she had gone off on her own. If she went to visit people he believed she wasted enough time and effort on already, he would be even more so. If she wasn't married to the asshole, what would her decision be? If she wasn't married, what would she be doing now?

Probably going insane, she answered herself, if she wasn't by this point.

Lucidity let out a heavy sigh and snapped the journal shut. No matter how angry or upset she was, that asshole youkai lord of a husband was still the best thing to ever happen to her, even if she was torn between screaming at him or begging that he lift this no-touching ban. She was so tired of spending the nights alone, aching for the softness of his mokomoko, the warmth of his skin, the press of-

With a sharp shake of the head, she gathered the journal and writing supplies and clambered to her feet. She left the shade of the tree, wanting to put it and unnecessary-not to mention torturous-thoughts far behind her. Ah-Un was over the crest of the hill, just out of sight and never wandering far from her in his endless quest to forage for the best grass, leaves, roots, or whatever else he ate. He paid her no mind when she came up beside him and put away her belongings in the travel pack Jaken always kept on the saddle.

"Think we should head out?" she asked the dragon, her only companion for the better part of the week, as she patted the side of one of his necks. "We've been here a while. Maybe we should turn back. Or should we go further? This land is crawling with youkai. Think there are any here who would be worth our time?"

Not that she was one to go looking for trouble. Seeking out opponents to fight wasn't really her thing, but it might break up the monotony of her wanderings. Ah, but, what would she do with the youkai in the end? Beat it bloody? Kill it? To what point or purpose? She took no pleasure in killing. Be like Inuyasha and his group then? Go find someone helpless to rescue? Lucidity rolled her eyes. Yeah, sure, she'd help if she came across people who needed it, but she wasn't a saint.

These woods, though, really were crawling with youkai. At first, she'd felt the trickle at a distance. An hour ago, was it? She wasn't sure. But the group had been making its way steadily through the surrounding hills and forest. She'd been checking their progress every so often, giving it little thought, caught up as she'd been with her writing. At the same time, however, she didn't want to attract their attention and had blanketed her own aura, to the point that the regular five senses would be needed to find her. And that was why she was taken aback when she realized that the youkai, whoever or whatever they were, had changed their course.

Ah-Un lifted his heads, gazing in the direction of the trees, and Lucidity, too, watched the images darting about. Not along the ground, but through the canopy. Whatever was moving out there was using the branches as a means of travel. She stepped away from Ah-Un, more curious than on guard, and bewildered about what might have attracted their attention. Were they considering making a meal out of her? Maybe this was the exercise she needed, a break from the tedious days that her life had become. There were more now, spreading throughout the trees, circling the area. More than a mindless hunt, then, if they were setting up a perimeter?

But then she felt something else, something that was coming in a wave of powerful aura, far greater than the drops that were present now. She put more distance between herself and Ah-Un, moving into the open space of the meadows, and saw, now, the gleams of eyes from the treeline. Dozens of eyes peering out from the shadows. She was half tempted to blow the trees down, just to see what lay beyond, but decided against such rashness. And a moment later, it didn't matter, as the youkai began spilling out onto the grass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Two chapters in a week? Is Nix back on her game?! 
> 
> Ha! Hell if I know. This could be a fluke, but I'm savoring this bug of a muse while it lasts. And look! My favorite thing! A cliffhanger!


	8. Chapter 8

Cats? 

Lucidity stared. There was definitely no mistaking the creatures as being anything but feline. Bipedal though they were, they were covered in fur and had the frame of mind to wear proper clothing. Yet none of them spoke. There was much hissing and growling, but no actual exchange of words. Behind her, she could hear the heavy footsteps of Ah-Un and he was soon standing beside her, lowering and raising his heads a couple times, as if debating if these youkai were an enemy or not. Her hand came to rest on his scaly neck as her gaze roamed over the cats, taking in their many colors, their demeanor, and the overall abruptness of the situation. They were so hostile, forming a semi-circle around her and Ah-Un, swiping at the air with their claws, hackles raised.

And then they began to close in. Ah-Un tossed his heads sharply and Lucidity automatically seized his reins as she took a step back for every step they took forward. Should she fight them? It wouldn't be much of a fight, to be honest. Hardly worth the trouble. It was that burning aura of power that interested her. And as the cats continued to herd her and Ah-Un towards the trees, allowing no open space for easier movement, that power arrived. It didn't come in a cacophony of explosions or flurry of confusion, but at calm, delicate pace, emerging from the forest, as if it had always been there. Or rather, as if they had always been there.

Four altogether. Three females and one rather large male in every meaning of the word. Lucidity had to turn to face them, putting her back to the cats. Were these some type of felines as well? Sharp eyes, claws, tails, and there were probably some fangs in there as well. They must be. That seemed to be the pattern with youkai; they stuck with their own kind, like Koga and his pack of wolves.

The tallest of the three females stepped away from her comrades and Lucidity considered her more closely. She wore a single piece of armor on one shoulder and a kimono with only one sleeve, which to Lucidity was stranger than the pale blue color of her long hair. The woman's gaze darted between her and Ah-Un, displaying little more than curiosity, a stark contrast to the angry, spitting noises that had yet to stop from the surrounding cats.

"What is it, Toran?" asked one of the females, the one with short, red hair and a dancing, yellow tail.

"Yeah, why'd you have us come all the way out here for a human?" grumbled the male, who was hardly paying attention, arms behind his head and eyes closed.

"That beast," said Toran. "I know its scent. And I have seen it before. It belongs to the eldest son of Inu no Taisho."

Lucidity blinked as the other three immediately perked up, their boredom quickly giving way to keen interest. There were smiles all around that brought absolutely no reassurance that she was among allies, not with the sparks of excitement she saw in their eyes, the sort that whispered mischief or, worse yet, malicious intentions. She'd been on the receiving end of such looks before, from certain men in this era when she'd still been human, and it made her very skin crawl, forcing her to suppress a shudder.

The third female came to stand next to Toran, waist-length, red hair swaying behind her, as she tapped her lip in careful thought. "What is a human doing with Sesshomaru's pet? Did he send her to us as an emissary?" 

"I doubt it," said the other redhead. "She doesn't seem to recognize us. She probably doesn't even understand us. Hey, girl, do you know what we're saying?"

Lucidity didn't answer, let alone give much of a reaction. She was too curious about what would happen if they continued to assume she was an ignorant foreigner, and looked from one to the other, garnering their responses and saw that none appeared to be terribly impressed, save for Toran, who was possibly reserving judgment. Staying here meant inviting trouble, Lucidity knew, but found she didn't much care right then. With the month she'd been having, the idea of letting off some steam was too appealing, and she nearly smiled when the loud redhead let out a scoff. 

"Her head must be full of sawdust," she said. "We should just eat her and be done with it; I doubt Sesshomaru will miss one who is this stupid." 

"I heard he's grown a soft spot for humans," sneered the male. "Rumor has it that he even had a human girl running around with him a few years ago. Wonder what he's doing with this one." His eyes roamed over Lucidity and his mouth split open with a grin. "If he doesn't intend to eat her, I can think of some other uses she has. She's pretty for a gaijin."

"You're sick, Shuran," said the loud redhead. "She's still human. And remember, he hates that hanyou brother of his. No way he'd make the same mistake as his old man."

"Hey, a hole's a hole, Karan!" laughed the male.

"Enough, you two," Toran ordered before a gagging Karan could respond. "It doesn't matter, the reason why she's traveling with Sesshomaru, only that she's here in our territory. Let us find the dog and get to the bottom of this. Bring her, Shunran."

"Yes, sister," was the dutiful reply from Shunran, who came forward as Toran moved back, arms outstretched as if she wanted the world to see every last vibrant color of her kimono.

Suddenly, the wind kicked up, tossing hair and clothes, rippling through the grass and scattering fallen leaves, and Lucidity glanced around, for once not the cause of it. And then she caught the scent of flowers, soon followed by the unmistakable petals of cherry blossoms that swirled around her and Ah-Un. It was overwhelming, the smell, to the point where it tickled her noise and brought on a sneeze. At the same time, she heard a heavy thump beside her and looked over. Much to her surprise, she saw Ah-Un on the ground, out cold, but still breathing, before she put two-and-two together and peered over at Shunran, whose astonishment couldn't have been more obvious with her wide-gaping mouth as she lowered her arms to her sides. 

"She isn't human at all!" announced Shunran, pointing a dramatic finger at Lucidity. "No human can withstand my cherry blossoms!" 

The shock from the others evaporated and there was much renewed hissing from the cats. Lucidity could hear their footsteps as they moved in closer and she cast a quick glance over her shoulder, debating if she should ignore or incapacitate so that this could continue uninterrupted. And yet before she bothered to lift a hand, the cats began to retreat, their movements slow and wary. And when she looked back at the four in front of her, she found that Toran was walking towards her. 

"If you can understand me, then you had best answer my questions, girl," Toran began as she stopped short of being too close for comfort. "Who are you and what are you doing in the lands of the Panther Tribe? Did Sesshomaru send you?" 

Panther Tribe?! Now _that_ rang a bell! Tales from both Inuyasha and Jaken had finally come in handy. Lucidity knew exactly who she was dealing with, though she had never been told any of their names. And it was no wonder that Sesshomaru had never ventured out this way, if this was the territory of such a powerful enemy. Yet it was her understanding that their last encounter had ended in a truce, or at least the Panther Tribe no longer sought revenge. However, was her being here going to-?

"Would you say something already?!" shouted Karan, who suddenly sprang forward, tense and quite ready for a fight, with flames erupting around clenched fists. "Even if it's in some gaijin tongue, would you open your mouth and talk? You're starting to creep me out!" 

"Let's just take her and find the dog. He's gotta be nearby," said Shuran as he punched his fists together, sparks of electricity crackling to life. 

"Do it then," came Toran's command. 

Lucidity's gaze darted down to Ah-Un. Still not moving. She wondered how long he would be out and decided it was best to change locations, lest the unconscious dragon get caught in the crossfire. And even as she studied the large and unmoving frame, she could hear the enemy coming at her. The cats from behind darted forward and a quick look up revealed Karan and Shuran taking it upon themselves to subdue her, while Toran and Shunran remained where they were. Perhaps they believed it was enough, more than enough probably, and Lucidity wondered how long this encounter would last as she dissolved her form, feeling the harmless swipe of claws and fists, heard the snarls of fury as they realized their target had vanished, and spirited herself across the open field, only to realize, too late, that this was a mistake. 

The world was spinning faster than she. It was just as before, when she'd been in the ocean. The confusion, the dizziness. She was vaguely aware that her solid body had struck the ground. The only reason she knew she had come to a stop on her stomach was because of the sharp smell of moist soil that flooded her senses and the grass that pressed against her face. Eyes shut, she clung to the ground, feeling as if she was about to fall off the earth itself. Back and forth, the world tilted, like some disorientating ride she could not escape from, but she could hear someone making their way towards her. A lot of someones. A lot of feet running, coming this way, before stopping. This wasn't good. If she didn't manage to focus and soon.... 

"Grab her," said a voice, and it took her a moment to recognize it as Toran's. 

A hand closed around her wrist and the ground disappeared. She felt herself being lifted up and a groan broke from her. All of her weight was being held by the one arm and the pressure it put on her shoulder was rather discomforting. A deep chuckle echoed inches from her face and the pungent odor of stale breath crawled over her cheek. 

"Not so tough, are you?" snickered Shuran. "Nothing but a wench full of tricks." 

Though it continued to feel as if the world had turned itself upside down on her, Lucidity managed to open her eyes. No, she decided, this wasn't like before. This was worse. It took too long for Shuran's face to swim into view and, even then, it was difficult to focus. Her head was starting to hurt something fierce, with sharp bursts of pain that came and went. Just what the fuck was going on?!

Later. She would figure it out later. Right now, she needed to get free; Shuran's smile was too wide and uninviting when he caught her eye. "I know you don't understand me, but I'm sure you realize you're coming with us now," he said and patted her side, before abruptly running his hand up and down her waist, then lower to her hip and thigh. He was so close. She could smell his skin, he was so damn close! 

So, of course, she drove a knee into his stomach, right below his rib cage, and felt something crack. So satisfying it was, to see the expression on his face, the way his eyes bulged and his mouth hung open as his large body started to double over, at least until a hard punch to the face knocked him backwards. His slackened grip disappeared from her wrist and she jumped back as he collapsed into a heap on the ground. 

Shouts filled Lucidity's ears as she landed on a knee, a hand going to her throbbing head, but she kept her attention on the panthers. The three females were surrounding Shuran, crouched beside his limp form, inspecting him for signs of life, and murmuring their relief that he was only unconscious. The cats in clothes milled around them, observing in agitated silence or hissing at Lucidity, but kept their distance all the same. And then Toran rose to her feet. In spite of how the world was still churning, albeit not as severely, Lucidity did the same, wavering once before she regained her balance.

She and Toran looked at each another, neither moving, neither speaking. There was a simmering rage behind the woman's cold, calculating gaze, and it was going to need an outlet sooner rather than later. Even when she flung her arm out in a curt signal that had the cats bounding towards her, Lucidity knew this action was nothing more than a test, trying to see if there was any true threat behind brute strength. 

And so the cats never made it across the field. Simultaneously, each of them stumbled to a sudden halt, hands going to their throats, mouths open wide, then closing, then opening again, over and over. One by one, they dropped to their knees. Some even rolled onto their backs, clawing at their throats, while the Panther Devas looked on, helpless in their shock, while their henchmen struggled like fish on dry land.

"What's going on? What is she doing to them?!" Shunran cried. 

"What does it matter? She needs to be stopped!" yelled Karan, who was already sprinting forward, flames licking around her hands.

"Stay back! She's mine!" 

Toran's shout was enough to freeze Karan in place and her fire disappeared just as Toran surged past her, a long, double-pointed spear forming in her hands. And Lucidity, unwilling to risk taking incorporeal form again, summoned her own weapon, and the blade of a war scythe clashed with Toran's spear. Reminiscent of Hogosha, the familiarity of it brought a sense of comfort to Lucidity, who found herself falling into an equally familiar dance with the leader of the Panther Tribe. The dance with death, singing blades and pounding hearts, the rush of blood in their ears, the hard earth beneath their feet. Lucidity knew this so well, too well, and pushed past the discomfort in her head, righted herself when the world threatened to waver beneath her, and felt little more beyond the irritation of being inconvenienced.

"Toran, hurry! She's killing them!" someone was shouting. 

There was a glint that appeared in Toran's eyes at these words, a wild fury of determination. And she struck with greater purpose, the blows resonating through the weapons and into Lucidity's arms. She was a strong opponent, like Sesshomaru, and yet showed more passion, enough for Lucidity to realize how important this was for her, how important it was to save her comrades. They would not die, though. True, the cats had stopped flopping, stopped trying to inhale the oxygen that Lucidity had deprived them of, but it was returned before it could be fatal, just as she had done to Sesshomaru last winter, prior to the battle with Morstua. Toran didn't know this, of course; all she saw was a threat to her people. Being the strongest and being the leader, Lucidity could understand why she took it upon herself to win this fight.

Yet for all her strife and resilience, none of it was enough, as the spear of ice was torn out of Toran's grasp and sent flying through the air to land out of sight. The point of the scythe stopped a mere inch or so from her throat and she stood, arms at her sides, as if she had frozen herself in place. It did not last long, however, when Karan and Shunran attempted to charge into a fray.

"Don't!" Toran shouted, flinging out a hand towards them, but the torrent of wind had already seized them in its grasp.

Their cries rang through the air as the pair spiraled upwards, trapped in currents that could have shredded them apart if the Guardian so much as considered the idea. Yet she refrained, for now, but it did not stop her from changing the direction of the wind and the panthers hurtled back down, where their bodies hit the earth in a resonating impact that left them motionless where they lay.

A trembling Toran turned back to Lucidity, a twisted scowl on her face, and the distinct beginnings of a deep-seated hatred blazing in her eyes. "You...what are you?! Why are you here?!"

Lucidity raised a brow. What to do now? Killing the lot of them was the quickest solution, but that didn't mean it was the best. She peered around at those who had fallen. This was the Panther Tribe. The history between them and Sesshomaru went back centuries. If he had not attempted to defeat them by now, she was doubtful he would be appreciative of any assistance, and that was if he even intended to do so in the first place. She didn't know. Perhaps she should ask what tribes or clans he planned to conquer in his rise to power. 

Her attention returned to Toran, who hadn't budged, and began to retract the scythe. Toran blinked and a bit of tension fled her body as the blade disappeared, only to cry out when the staff struck her hard across the face and sent her skidding along the ground in a haze of dirt and freshly churned earth. Beyond her, Karan and Shunran were slowly picking themselves up, grunts of pain echoing between them. And a distant groan and subtle movement revealed that Shuran was finally coming to. Ah, what perfect timing, he had.

Perfect timing, it seemed, that was shared by many, as another presence seized the air and washed over them, accompanied by a voice that rang out with one, single word: "Lucidity!"

Lucidity closed her eyes for the barest trace of a second, before she turned to watch the speaker as he emerged from the forest and made his way across the field. He paused in the middle of the chaotic aftermath, taking in the forms that were still lifeless on the ground, and at the great brute of a male nearby, who was shaking his head and clambering haphazardly to his feet, savoring his midriff as he did so.

"Sesshomaru!" Toran called out as she pushed herself to her feet, blood decorating the side of her face, and the daiyoukai looked over at her. "What is the meaning of this invasion?"

He did not answer, but none of the panthers attempted to stop him, even when he walked mere feet from their leader until he reached Lucidity, who knew at once that this would not end well. He...was... _furious!_ His usually indifferent countenance was nowhere to be seen. Lips were drawn back to reveal the sight of bared fangs and she didn't have trouble imagining the sound of his snarls, had they been alone. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his claws flexing, near hidden by his sleeve, and wondered how much willpower he was using to restrain himself. The very muscles of his neck were stiff as he finally opened his mouth. Nothing but a rough growl trickled free, so faint that she knew it was meant for her ears alone, as was the flash of scarlet that filled his eyes. The sight of piercing blue irises had her taking an involuntary step backward, and that was perhaps the only reason why he managed to relax his temper. Red faded into white and golden eyes darted to the staff she still held behind her back. 

"Get rid of the weapon," he ordered, and there was nothing subdued about the anger in his voice. "You have done enough damage here today." 

Slowly, Lucidity managed to let out a soft exhale of breath and at the same time the staff disintegrated. She folded her arms, to declare that she was, indeed, weaponless now, as she peered up at him. Not a word passed between them, but his rage remained palpable, simmering and simply waiting for the spark of fire that would bring it surging to the surface. 

"Explain yourself, Sesshomaru!" came Toran's unbidden shout. "Why are you here? Who is this creature you've set on us?" 

Again, he did not answer, but continued to stare down at Lucidity, as if daring her to speak. And when she raised a brow, his scowl returned and a fist clenched at his side, but she gave no regard as she said, "In my defense, I never struck until Shuran made it necessary."

"It fucking speaks! But what a freak!"

Sesshomaru turned sharply around. Karan took a step back, both hands clamped over her mouth, and cast a furtive look at her sister and leader. Yet Toran gave no reaction, her attention focused solely on Sesshomaru, who, at first, did nothing. Then, without a glance in her direction, he said, "I would have you remain silent, Lucidity," before he began making his way towards the panthers in that careful, measured pace of his, never giving a sense of urgency, and yet declaring the unwavering certainty that the daiyoukai had in his own power.

And Lucidity, not knowing what else to do, stayed where she was. She brushed a hand through her hair, closing her eyes and rubbing absently at her temple, where she could feel a dull ache. Fortunately, it was all that remained of the dizzy spell she had suffered. What _had_ that been? It didn't make any sense. Satomi had never suffered anything like that without being gravely injured first. Was it some adverse effect of not being a true-born Guardian? Had the South experienced-?

"She was not here on my orders; she came of her own accord." Sesshomaru's voice cut through her thoughts and Lucidity opened her eyes to see him standing before the Panther Devas, all four of whom had gathered around Toran.

"You expect us to believe that?" shouted Karan. "She's the perfect weapon. She killed our men and didn't even break a sweat!"

"If I wished you dead, I would see to it myself," Sesshomaru replied. "And your men live. The air was removed from their bodies until they lost consciousness, nothing more; it is what she does when her intentions are not lethal."

"You're defending her actions, then?" Toran demanded. "Who is she to you, Sesshomaru? Why would you trespass into our territory if you didn't send her?"

"She is the wife of Sesshomaru-sama and daughter of the great Mother Goddess! You'd do well to show her respect!"

Lucidity...had been wondering where he was. He was never far from Sesshomaru's side, after all, unless ordered otherwise. Obviously, that was not the case this time, as she saw the small form hurrying towards the gathered youkai, Staff in hand. Jaken peered around at Ah-Un and the others still on the ground, like one who was inspecting an interesting piece of artwork with an untrained eye.

"This is your doing, Lady Lucidity?" he asked. "Why do you play when you can just kill them in an instant and be done with it?"

"Quiet, Jaken," ordered Sesshomaru, but the imp's words had already had a noticeable effect on the suddenly anxious panthers, especially Shuran. Pale with beads of sweat appearing on his forehead, his dark eyes kept darting between Lucidity and the daiyoukai and he swallowed when her saw her watching him. And yet, Sesshomaru seemed to be paying him no mind as he spoke again. "Her actions were of her own making, Toran, and I do not condone what she has done. I came to collect her; she should not have come here and will be dealt with."

"[Fuck you, Sesshomaru!]"

The words broke from Lucidity before she had a proper understanding of what she was saying, but that did not mean she regretted the outburst. She was so sick of this, his attitude, his treatment, his indifference. This last month, it was as though nothing had ever changed, as if she was still some human forced to travel with a youkai because of their mutual needs, tolerated, but not welcomed. And she hated it, every last second of every goddamn day!

In unison, the panthers backed away, save for Toran, who stood her ground, as Lucidity came to stand in front of Sesshomaru, his golden eyes narrowed and glittering with a rage that promised pain to the wrong person who crossed him. Yet Lucidity did not care; she'd already thrown all propriety out the window.

"[Fuck you,]" she said again, and saw the flash in his gaze, the immediate comprehension of the foreign tongue she'd taught him ages ago. "This is my domain. Your territories make no difference to me. The squabbles of youkai and humans make no difference. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have your precious lands to fight over. The lot of you would be rotting from the plague." She cast a glare towards the panthers. "Every last one of you, covered in black veins, eating each other until your hearts gave out. That would have been your fate if it wasn't for me." She peered back at Sesshomaru and could taste his tension on the air. "I am not some dutiful wife to be dealt with. I am the Guardian of the East and it's time for me to remind people of that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Update! Looks like tensions are running high. I'm definitely looking forward to the next few chapters. Lots of stuff happening. Several new characters will be introduced. Some may even play significant roles later on in the story. 
> 
> I do wonder what's happening with Lucidity, though.


	9. Chapter 9

The remainder of Sesshomaru's interactions with the Panther Tribe was a complete mystery to Lucidity, mostly due to the fact that she had stalked off after chewing the lot of them out. She didn't care about the outcome or what needed to be done to pacify the panthers. That was Sesshomaru's concern, not hers. And if he was furious about what she'd done, so be it. It wasn't as if they weren't already at each other's throats. Nothing good was going to come from any of this, but she'd be damned if she cowered under the wake of his temper, constantly struggling to put things right.

It felt as if they were going in circles and always ended up in the same spot, unable to escape this rut they were in. Something she did would set him off. Something he did would set her off. They would argue. They would fight. They would talk. No insulting his honor. No treating her like a servant. Could a mutual respect ever be maintained between such a proud daiyoukai and a Guardian attempting to learn the meaning of husband and wife?

Lucidity, eyes closed, rubbed the back of her hand along her forehead, feeling the same remnants of pain from earlier. The memory of what had happened continued to unsettle her, and it was one more concern to add to the ever growing pile of crap to worry about. She didn't like these thoughts spinning through her mind, this feeling that there was no way out, that she and Sesshomaru would make the same mistakes over and over again until everything that had been built fell apart, until they fell apart.

The meandering pace in which she'd been walking came to abrupt halt. She stood there in the open lands, with nothing but mountains and forests in the distance and an endless stretch of grass before her. Arms wrapped around herself at the chill of dread that seized her. Was that what was happening? Were they falling apart? This relationship had never been the easiest, but it had always been worth the struggle. He was worth sacrificing everything for, wasn't he? That had always been her belief. So, what was his?

And yet, when the daiyoukai eventually arrived with Jaken and a recovered Ah-Un trailing behind, Lucidity found herself too afraid to ask. She turned to face him when she felt his approach, arms folded, but no longer hugging herself in some pitiful display. Their eyes locked, but neither of them was quick to speak. Jaken hung back, reins clutched in one hand and his Staff in the other, and looked between the two powerful beings he'd come to serve.

"Did you find what you were searching for?" Lucidity asked, finally shattering the silence.

"I'm afraid the sage died some months ago," said Jaken when Sesshomaru did not answer. "He was killed by the blackness, as so many others were."

"Pity," she muttered, starting to the turn away.

"You have used poor judgment today, Lucidity," said Sesshomaru, and she peered back at him, her expression as blank as his. "If you were anyone else, I'd have no choice but to execute you."

"How fortunate I am, then, that you've become too attached to kill me," she replied coldly.

"You will silence your mockery!" he snapped, and his raised voice had Jaken tugging Ah-Un away to seek out safety and perhaps shelter. "You nearly started a war!" the daiyoukai continued in a soft growl, stepping towards her. "One that I cannot afford to happen now."

"If you like, I can go back and finish it for you. I can wipe out the entire Tribe and you can claim this scrap of land for yourself. How's that-"

In an instant, Sesshomaru swooped down. His claws would have sliced right through her skin if it hadn't been for the robes, he showed so little regard with the strength in which he grabbed her by the elbow. "I said enough of your mockery, you insufferable wench!"

Even if it didn't feel as though her bones were about to snap under his grip, the insult alone had her jerking free and shoving him away. "To hell with you, Sesshomaru!"

She didn't see it coming. She didn't even know what had happened until the impact resonated throughout her body and it took several moments for her mind to piece together that she was no longer upright on her feet, but sprawled on the ground, staring up at the blue, cloudless sky. And her head.... Dear gods, her head! Rolling over with a groan, she pushed herself onto her knees, a hand buried in her hair, the pain so bad she could barely open her eyes.

"[Fuck,]" she muttered. Fuck, fuck! Did that ever fucking  _hurt!_ Enough that she was close to tears by the time she looked up and saw Sesshomaru standing over her, his fist still raised, as he surveyed the damage. He seemed engrossed by it, by his impulsive response. He'd hit her. Actually hit her out of blind anger! The last time he'd raised a hand to her was on the battlefield with Morstua, but that had been a cold, calculated act, a manner of retaliation for what she'd done to him. This was...this was something else.  _  
_

Still holding her head, she slowly pushed herself to her feet, never taking her eyes off the daiyoukai, who finally lowered his arm. There was no trace of any anger she could see; no trace of much at all, in fact. Certainly he was intent upon her, his focus unwavering, but regarded her with little more than quiet expectation, waiting for her to reciprocate in kind. She didn't. She didn't do anything more than shift her hand from her hair to brush her knuckles over the throbbing cheek he had struck. His brow furrowed and his mouth pressed into a thin line before he turned and walked off, stopping a short distance away. And Lucidity, swallowing heavily, did the same. The difference, however, was that she did not stop.

* * *

The Mother's mark would never fade. It would be with him until his dying day. A constant reminder of what had first been forced upon him and what he had later come to accept. Protector of the Guardian, the one he had claimed as his, who could no more be tamed than a youkai lord. What did it mean to take the daughter of a goddess as his wife? What was the line between the Guardian and the woman? To him, the Guardian of the East had always been the mortal gaijin who had emerged from her hut that day to hang herbs out dry. Had she been as Satomi, a true born Guardian, would he see her differently? React to her differently? She would not be the same; it would be impossible. He would not have...taken interest, not beyond wishing to battle a worthy opponent.

Sesshomaru closed his fingers over his palm, obscuring from view the seven-pointed star he had been staring at, and folded his arms. His gaze drifted over to the fire Jaken had built, in an effort to cook himself a meal of fish that Lucidity had not been present to help him catch. Lucidity.... How to deal with her? How not to deal with her? An infuriating woman, who was not bound by the same laws as he. She had the power, and yet did not exercise it unless it was necessary. Jaken was right; she could have killed the Panther Tribe instead of indulging them. She had stayed her hand. Why? She took no pleasure in killing, but it had been warranted from the recounting that Toran had shared, down to the specific details of Shuran's grievous choices that had cost him a hand by the time the daiyoukai was done with him. The only conclusion Sesshomaru could come to was that she refrained because of him. She'd known what his response was going to be, and yet....

She'd antagonized him. Why? Was she so vindictive, so petty? However, his response was no better. Claws dug into his palm, into the scars, and he glared at the fire. Again, he'd lost control. He'd allowed his temper to get the best of him. Toran had mentioned Lucidity had come to them injured, however that might have happened, and he saw for himself-a small extent of it-by causing her more pain. That should not have happened, like so much already.

"Eeto, Sesshomaru-sama?" came the tentative call of the imp from across the fire.

"What is it, Jaken?"

"It's getting late. And it's been hours since.... Would you like me to find Lady Lucidity for you?"

Sesshomaru lifted his gaze to the sky, littered with stars and a half-moon to accompany the endless array of tiny lights. "She's gone."

Jaken nearly dropped his Staff as he jerked upright. "G-Gone? What do you mean?"

_"If you keep treating her like that, she'll leave you in the end!"_

The miko's voice was a harsh bell resonating in his head. With a scowl, Sesshomaru closed his eyes and settled back against the tree he'd chosen for the night. What could be mended, at this point? What could be salvaged with this distance between them?

* * *

The village took a remarkably short time to reach-a mere few days-considering that most of the journey had been on foot, with sporadic bursts of travel on the air. She'd broken down her form only once and the outcome had been the same as before. It was enough to make her wary of repeating the attempt, not to mention anxious about what was happening to her, with no answers to be found. She'd be a fool to believe that a couple of miko and a monk could determine the cause of what left a Guardian a disorientated mess on the ground, and yet this was where she found herself. Perhaps...not for answers, but for company, for reassurances. No mortal could possibly explain what was physically wrong with her, but her troubles with Sesshomaru? That was another matter. But the thought of going down there, of sitting with Kagome and Sango, did not...feel right. What could be said, what could be done, to make it better? She wanted someone to talk with, someone she trusted to confide in, whose word and experience she could rely on. She wanted....

Her father.

The revelation nearly brought her to her knees. Gods! She missed him! Guardian or not, memories or not, he was her father, the man who raised her, guided her, taught her. For years it had been just the two of them, ever since she'd been a small child, up until the day of the accident that ultimately took him from her. If he was alive now, if he saw her now, she knew that the mantle of the Guardian would make no difference to him. He'd only see his little girl. That was what he had often said: even when she grew up, got married, and had children, she'd still be his little girl. And that was what she wanted now, and rather desperately at that. The void in her life since his passing had never felt so profound, and all because she needed a shoulder to lean on, because there was no one else. Not her friends, not Sesshomaru. None of them could provide her with what she needed right then, that comforting presence and reassurance that only a parent could give.

This was what mourning was, to miss someone at random moments in time, to suddenly be overwhelmed by the loss that part of you still could not believe, could not accept. It wasn't a wonder that she finally succumbed and lowered herself to her knees, that she finally admitted defeat. Unable, unwilling to move, she felt the heat of emotion that crept along her face, the burn of tears in her eyes, and the heaviness that settled in her chest, as much a part of her as the breath that filled her lungs.

And then he came. In a sudden rush of movement, he was there on the hillcrest with her and she was on her feet, face dry and eyes blinking furiously, but with no visible tears, by the grace of good fortune. Being forced to explain why she was outside of the village, crying like a lost babe, was not an experience she was keen on having, especially not with a snarky brother-in-law.

"Inuyasha," Lucidity said, "what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," the hanyou replied, folding his arms. "I caught your scent. As careful as you're being about your aura, I'm surprised you let that happen."

Lucidity shrugged. "Everyone makes mistakes."

Inuyasha snorted. "Yeah, even demigods. So, why are you here?"

"Just...passing through," she answered.

"Uh-huh, and Sesshomaru worships Jaken," Inuyasha said with a roll of the eyes as he approached her. "Where is that asshole brother of mine, anyway? I can't smell him at all."

"Elsewhere," was the vague response, and she didn't care for that scrutinizing gaze sent her way, those golden eyes looking her over, so much like the daiyoukai. She turned away, using the view of the village as an excuse to focus her attention on anything but the hanyou, who, to her dismay, decided to come stand beside her.

"Has something happened?"

"He's alive, if that's what you mean," she said, watching the distant figures of the villagers.

"It's not and you know that," Inuyasha said. "Well, whatever. I don't want to know the details. You're here for a reason, right? So, stop sulking up here and let's head back to the village. I know Kagome has been wanting to see you." And he started making his way down the hill, but had taken just a few steps when Lucidity spoke.

"No," she told him, and he stopped, glancing over his shoulder, lips parted in surprise. "I'm not in the mood to see anyone right now. I really am just passing through. I'm actually on my way back to the Isle; I stopped to see if I could change my mind about visiting, but I haven't."

Inuyasha turned to face her, frowning, and it was a moment or so before he replied. "You know...no one blames you about what happened at the festival," he began. "There's stuff none of us will ever get about the Guardian. Kagome was just upset about that girl dying. It was the first time she lost someone she was caring for and-"

"It won't be the last," Lucidity cut in. "Inuyasha, I don't care about the fight. Believe it or not, I have other things going on and I don't feel like talking with anyone. I'm sure you can understand about not wanting to put on a good show for the benefits of others."

"Keh," he scoffed. "Fine. It's not my problem, if you decide to stay or not." And, once more, he started to leave, only to pause and look back. "But if you do change your mind, we're having supper at Kaede's tonight."

Lucidity blinked, and then felt a shadow of a smile spread along her lips. "Thank you, Inuyasha."

"Sure thing," he said as he turned and walked off. "I won't tell anyone you were creeping around. See yah, Lucidity," he added, holding a hand up in farewell, before he reached the base of the hill and disappeared from sight.

Inuyasha, the pain in the ass little brother, who could be a remarkable jerk, even to those he liked. Was it some sort of genetic trait in his family or just a happy coincidence that both he and Sesshomaru were assholes? Lucidity could only sigh and shake her head as she continued on her way, giving the village a wide berth as she did so, to ensure she did not come across any unwanted company.

Running into Inuyasha had jarred her out of memories of her father, but now she was right back where she had started, mulling over that blasted daiyoukai and what sort of repercussions would follow their latest fight, beyond her leaving without a word, that is. Would he blame her for taking off? Or accept it? He hadn't stopped her, but...she hadn't expected that he would. Maybe he was aware that some distance was better right now, to give them both time to cool off and collect their thoughts. For how long, though, would this last?

The swift current of the stream was a dull roar in the otherwise quiet solitude beyond the village. And Lucidity, her pace slowed by these heavy thoughts, absently followed the water along its path where it joined the main river that ran through the village and countless miles beyond. Now and then she caught a glimpse of fish, swimming by themselves or in schools, and wondered how Jaken was fairing on his own without her quick hand to help. She knew he was perfectly capable of catching his meals on his own. Perhaps she was spoiling him. If she wasn't careful, he might forget how to take care of himself. And if things between her and Sesshomaru didn't....

For two reasons, Lucidity came to a stop, staring intently down at the river. The first was because she loathed where this train of thought was taking her and very much wanted to derail it. The second was because of what she sensed floating above her, the answer to at least one of her many questions. And when she looked up, sure enough, he was there, sitting astride the dragon with the imp settled in behind him. He must have flown all this way to catch up with her. It didn't come as a surprise. Of course, if he hadn't followed, she still wouldn't have been surprised.

"Take Ah-Un to the village, Jaken, and wait for me there," she heard Sesshomaru say, along with Jaken's murmur of agreement, before Sesshomaru dismounted. His form drifted soundlessly to the earth as Jaken directed Ah-Un around. She did not bother watching the two-headed silhouette disappear, intent as she was on the daiyoukai who landed some yards away from her.

"Come to do this dance again?" she asked in way of greeting. 

"You are still angry?" was his response in that ever-stoic manner of his.

Resisting the urge to chew on her lip or do some other stupid show of nerves, she folded her arms and peered back at the river. "Are you?" she asked in a voice that was almost too forceful. She didn't need to hear the footsteps to know that he was standing beside her. The heat of his presence alone was enough, and she found herself looking up at him in spite of her efforts to keep her eyes downcast. Almost every time she looked, it got her in trouble, whether because he saw what she tried in vain to hide or because she could not endure the sight of him without some part of her breaking into pieces. And this time was no different when she met his gaze, because the impulse to simply fling her arms around him had her stiffening. Every bone in her body seemed to protest, aching in complaint that she needed to move, needed to go to him. But she wouldn't.

"I am frustrated, Lucidity," he said. "As you mentioned, this is a dance we continue to repeat. What can be done about it?"

"You came all this way to ask  _me_  how to fix this?" she muttered, both incredulous and bitterly amused, even as she threaded a hand through her hair, pressing her palm against her temple.

"This Sesshomaru is at a loss," came the admission, the words so soft, barely above a whisper, but enough for her to lift her head up in surprise. He wasn't watching her, though, but the water rushing by at their feet. In contrast to the rapid current, he was so still, arms at his sides, expression utterly unreadable. There was no wind, no fur being lifted, no hair being tossed, no sleeves billowing. Perfect and utter silence. "How does one distinguish the Guardian from the woman?" he murmured into that silence.

Lucidity swallowed. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears and wasn't entirely certain as to why. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Golden eyes slid over to her. "Who are you first? The Guardian or the woman?"

Quite suddenly, she didn't want to answer. She didn't know where he was leading with this and didn't want to. A critical decision was to be made, no doubt, based on her response. But what sort of decision, she had no idea. And just as before, she was too afraid to ask. She didn't want to know. She just...wanted things to be as they were, before any of this happened, before his beast got the better of him and their spats were easily forgiven with water splashed in the face.

"Lucidity," Sesshomaru pressed, "I would have you answer me."

"I don't...I don't know," she said, and nearly stepped away when he turned to fully face her.

"Yes, you do," he told her. "Otherwise you would not avoid the question."

"What would you have me say?!" she exclaimed. "How would you answer? Who are you first? Sesshomaru-sama, youkai lord of the west, or Sesshomaru, husband who strikes his wife?"

Nothing. 

He didn't move, didn't speak. He gave no reaction at all as she stood there, staring at him, heart hammering and breath tight in her chest. She wanted to scream, wanted to beg, wanted him to tell her that she was being a fool, that there was nothing to worry about. And then he lowered his gaze, a mere fraction that she caught a mere glimpse of before he turned from her, to peer back at the river, at the endless flow of water that seemed to carry with it unspoken words that would never be heard aloud. 

"It seems, then, that we are at an impasse," he said, and she hoped to the gods that she was just imagining the finality in his tone. 

"Sesshomaru...." she muttered as her head came to rest in her hands, a noticeable ache forming in her temples and a rising discomfort in her body. 

"We cannot remain as we are," he continued, as if she had never spoken. 

Like before...like before but worse. A pain, shooting through one side to the other. Fingers dug into her hair as her jaw clenched. "Sesshomaru," she repeated, the name hardly audible to her own ears, her teeth were clenched so tight. A shock ran up her spine and her body bowed, and the pain was spreading outward now, seeping into skin and bone alike. Like liquid fire through the veins, it infected every inch, scorching from the inside out. 

"Lucidity?" 

His voice was so distant, no more than an echo across a great cavern. 

"What is it? Lucidity?" 

More urgent now, he spoke. But she couldn't answer him. She could barely breathe as the agony brought her to her knees, head threatening to split apart from the power that seemed to be rocking her very soul back and forth. It was more than that, though. Even as her vision swam and she found consciousness to be a wavering thing of privilege, she could feel it beneath her: the trembling, roaring earth, the smell of rot and all things dead. Was that her screaming? She didn't know. Yet she knew what was happening, what this was, but the reason for it? A horrible, agonizing mystery that was shredding her insides. She couldn't see, couldn't move, couldn't breathe! She couldn't do anything cling to the feeble line of awareness, hoping it would end, hoping she would be spared this living hell. 

And then, as if the strings had been cut, the power receded and her body went limp. The world never stopped churning, never stopped writhing beneath her, as her fingers slipped from her hair and she was falling, falling into the embrace of soft grass and hard earth, or so she believed. And while it was soft, her landing, it was also warm, not at all what she had expected. She felt herself being lifted, heard the heavy breathing of another, and opened her eyes to a crescent moon. But soon, the rest of his face swam into view and she saw that his lips were parted, that it was his panting she was listening to. 

"Put me down," she muttered, and he did without argument. Though releasing her entirely was another matter, especially when she had difficulty finding her balance, still clutching at her throbbing head with one hand. 

"What happened?" he rumbled above her, an arm around her waist much to her chagrin. 

Yet it could not be helped, as the shaking ground beneath them had her teetering back and forth. "Mother...She.... [Ah, fuck, fuck....]" Her curses trailed off with a groan as another wave of power had her doubling over, and Sesshomaru renewed his grip on her as her legs threatened to give out. "Something's wrong," Lucidity moaned, feeling the hot press of tears behind closed eyelids. "She's never done this befo-" 

It couldn't be stopped, her cry of pain, her knees finally buckling, and Sesshomaru lowered them to the ground. She could do naught but clutch her head, trying so desperately not writhe in his grasp, to ride out the pain. Every rise and fall of this inexplicable assault was accompanied by a fresh churning of rock and soil. Were these aftershocks, or was Mother just getting started? But why?! Why was this even happening?! Never in any memory, dead or alive, had the Mother Goddess done this to Her daughters. And Lucidity could hear Her. Beyond the searing energy, beyond that earthquake that shook her to the bone, she could hear her Mother. It was a piercing wail, a scream without voice or form, an ultimate suffering that She ensured Her children would suffer with Her. And Lucidity did. By the gods, did she suffer! Every moment, every second, until she nearly forgot an existence without this torture. 

The first clear thing she became aware of was her ragged breathing. Labored gasps through an open mouth, her entire frame moving with each one. Gods, did it hurt! Even as the world began to quiet, as the screaming began to fade, she could feel herself trembling with the agony, as though she'd been thrown off a cliff to land in a rocky ravine down below. Wet tracks trailed from the corners of her eyes, to disappear into her hairline, and several more tears managed to escape while she lay there, trapped against a familiar line of fur, with firm arms wrapped around her. She needed to rise, needed to find her feet, and yet...did not want to. She couldn't find it in herself to move, when every breath tasted like fire in the lungs and each movement felt as if her bones were grinding against one another. 

Sesshomaru wasn't looking at her, perhaps did not even realize she was coherent. He was turning his head, peering from one side to the other and back again, left to right, back to front, and there was something decidedly unsettled about his demeanor. His eyes were narrowed and she saw him swallow, letting out a heavy exhale as he did, before he looked down at her. He blinked, the muscles of his jaw working, when he noticed that she was alert, and then he frowned. 

"Why has the Mother done this?" he asked. 

She shook her head and managed to sit up. The discomfort was lessening, like a wound closing over, and she was able to see for herself what had had Sesshomaru's attention. The earth was split open. And yet, that was not the unusual part. Rather, it was the fact that fissures in the ground were surrounding them, four in all, trailing in straight lines in each cardinal direction, further than the eye could see. And at the center, she and Sesshomaru rested inside a circle of untouched earth. With a tentative hand, she reached out to the edge of the circle and her fingers hovered above the broken soil, nearly touching, before she recoiled on instinct, drawing her arm back in tight against her chest. 

"You are afraid," said the daiyoukai. "Why?" 

"Something's happened," she whispered. "Something bad...really bad." 

Knowing that this statement was true, unequivocally so, had Lucidity on her feet. Sesshomaru stood with her, hardly a breath of space between them, and she made no attempt to push him away, considering that the moment she had her balance, a swoop of absolutely stark terror filled her stomach with its icy chill, a sensation so unexpected that she nearly fell against him. Panting slightly, arm around her middle, she forced herself to step away.

"What is it, Lucidity?" he demanded, and she shook her head once more. 

"The Isle...I have to get back to the Isle," she said, and began moving towards the river at once, only for a hand to close around her wrist. 

"You are not going alone," Sesshomaru declared. 

A hundred-and-one reasons to leave his ass behind could have been given in the span of only a few seconds, she was sure, and even opened her mouth to make such an attempt. And yet the overwhelming urge to move and move  _now_  had her nerves on edge. Her fingers flexed under his grasp before she jerked herself free and glared at him. "Fine," she snapped. "But only because I don't have time to argue. Let's go; we need to get to Sagashite." 

"What for?" 

"You'll see." 

And see he would. After she dipped her hand into the river and the rolling fog arrived with the summoned ferry, he would see what awaited on the Isle. The two servants who steered were visibly agitated and didn't speak a word, but guided the boat swiftly through the fog and into the passageway that brought them to the banks of the Isle. Lucidity did not even wait for them to come to a stop, but leapt out and set off at a run towards the palace, Sesshomaru right on her heels. Her pace did not slow until they reached the palace and she caught sight of the number of servants out on the veranda, perhaps all of them, including Rusuban, every last one appearing as anxious as the next. Beyond them, in the darkened recesses, a glow pulsated, a rapid rhythm that seemed to echo her own pounding heart. 

"My Lady?" spoke the old caretaker, but Lucidity was already brushing past her. 

"I know, I know," was all she said in return before ducking behind the curtain of vines, Sesshomaru not even a step behind. And there was Sagashite, its normally calm surface rippling and bubbling, as if a torrent of rain was coming down. The light of the water continued to dim, then brightened, over and over, and faster now that she was standing beside it.

"What is this?" asked the daiyoukai. 

"A summons," said Lucidity as she hopped onto the ledge of the pool and turned to peer back at him. "Whenever there is an emergency like this, the Guardians are summoned to the domain where they are needed." 

With a frown, he looked from her to the churning waters. "Sagashite not meant to merely observe?" 

"That is only one of its uses," she said, growing impatient. "Come on already. If you don't want to be left behind, then get up here. I'm not going to wait."

He didn't respond, not even to glare, but lighted upon the ledge next to her and allowed himself to be led into the water. It was shallow, the pool, reaching only to their ankles. And the moment they stood at its center, Sagashite's power thrummed to life in an impact that rattled the teeth and caused a grunt to escape the unsuspecting daiyoukai, who stepped closer to Lucidity and slid an arm around her waist. She didn't know if it was deliberate or absentminded, but didn't have time to rebuff the unwanted contact, as the waters began to glow. Brighter and brighter, their surroundings became, the water spreading outward and rising above them, until they were completely enveloped, everything else lost from view. A roaring echoed through the air, resonated in Lucidity's ears until it was the only thing she could hear, to the point of deafening, and the power continued to course its way around them, spreading over their skin, filling their lungs, beating inside their hearts. 

And then, in a breath, it vanished. The waters became dark and fell away like so many dead leaves, and left the pair standing at the center of an identical pool. And yet the scenery was vastly different. So different, in fact, that Lucidity, who had known what was coming, still found herself somewhat disoriented at the abrupt change. Where a second ago it had been late afternoon, it was now early morning where they were. So early that the sky was still dark and twinkling with stars that shown through the canopy of moss and vines of the gazebo-like structure they were under. It was utterly quiet, with the only sounds being their footsteps as she and Sesshomaru dropped down and onto the cold stone of a dais below. There was nothing around them but dense foliage and a single path of dirt that led away from the pool, which Lucidity immediately started down.

"What is this place?" Sesshomaru asked. 

"The North's sanctuary," she answered. "Like my Isle. They're all connected by a Sagashite." 

"Why have you not told me this?" 

"I never had a reason to. Gatherings like this rarely happen. I never expected...so soon...." 

Her voice trailed off and her brisk pace slowed to a walk. Sesshomaru did not need to ask the reason, as he, too, was distracted by the sound that had reached their ears. Up ahead, the brush and trees started to thin. Bits of sky could be seen through the stretch of leaves and branches. The end of the path could be seen, the dirt giving way to a lawn of grass and flowers that bloomed night and day, a garden so carefully tended to with a loving hand. And in the midst of the colors darkened by the night and illuminated by the light of the moon, a figure was dancing. Hopping from one foot to the other, twirling in circles, and strumming a stringed instrument that Lucidity quickly recognized as a lyre, the figure's voice rose in a soft melody of sing-song, the pitch neither high, nor low, indistinguishable as male or female. 

[In the shadows, let us walk.

In the forests, let us dance. 

In the meadows, let us wander.

For at night, I shall sing:

Come to me.

And I shall embrace you,

As your friend,

Your lover, your guide. 

For at night, I shall sing:

Come to me,

And I shall be yours.

Come to me,

And you shall be mine.

Come to me,

And I will forever hold you,

In my final embrace.]

The figure pivoted once more, voice carrying through the air on the last, echoing note, and stopped upon spotting Lucidity and Sesshomaru standing at the edge of the garden. Slowly, the lyre was lowered and the figure stared at them. Even now that they were closer, Lucidity found herself questioning what she was looking at. The figure appeared human for the most part, small in stature, at least a head shorter than her. The long, pointed ears, however, declared the creature as anything but human. The hair was short and unkempt, resembling a nest of brown, tangled weeds more than anything. The clothes were little more than a tunic held together by a strap of leather around the middle, displaying an utterly shapeless body. There were full cheeks with a slight point to the nose and chin and large, round eyes, the same dull brown as the hair, that gazed back at her. She could have been staring at the face of a young boy or just a very short, young woman. 

And then the figure smiled, wide and bright, showing a perfect string of pearl teeth, and bowed deeply, with much sweeping of the arms. "[Good morning, dear travelers, and thank you for joining us in this dreary patch of paradise,]" came the flamboyant greeting in that same sing-song voice. "[My name is Puck! Welcome to Avalon!]"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This chapter jumped around more than usual. But, as I said previously, lots of stuff will be happening! Is happening! Something really bad apparently XD!
> 
> I'm actually excited about this chapter, finally being able to reveal another Guardian sanctuary and playing with more lore! I mean, these women have been around since the dawn of time! Who knows what parts of history and literature they have influenced? 
> 
> More characters to be introduced in the next update! I know a few people have asked about them and it's finally...almost time, haha!


	10. Chapter 10

"Puck?" Lucidity repeated. "[You're...Puck]?" 

Puck gave a broad grin. "[You sound like you know me. Do you know me? I'm quite famous with mortals these days. But you aren't mortal, of course. Neither of you. And you are most definitely foreign,]" he added, pointing a sharp finger at Sesshomaru, whose mouth pulled down at the corner. 

"You are familiar with this creature, Lucidity?" he asked coldly, and she could all but feel the Whip burning in his fingers. 

"Yes, but not as the Guardian. I know him from-"

"[So rude!]" Puck suddenly shouted, nose scrunched up and a heavy scowl on his face. "[That's rude! Don't ignore me and prattle on with words I don't understand. Show some manners!]" And he threw the lyre onto the ground and folded his arms, huffing loudly, the very epitome of a pouting child.

"[You speak of manners, boy,]" Lucidity began, "[when-]"

"[BOY!]" screeched Puck. "[You think I'm a boy?! Oh wait....]" Without warning, he stopped and peered down at himself, plucking at his tunic. "[Am I boy this time? Usually I choose what appeals in the moment, but...ah, I don't remember.]" And here, he began to lift the clothing up, head bowed for a better look.

Lucidity quickly brought up a hand, to shield from view whatever may or may not be there, and turned her head away. "[No, no, we don't need to see. And we're not here for a social visit either, Puck. We're on our way to the castle to meet with the others, so-]"

"[Oh, you are?! Let me escort you!]" Puck exclaimed, releasing the tunic and clapping his hands. "[I've never seen you here before and it's such a big place. So easy to get lost. How about some music? It's a long walk.]"

"[That won't be necessary,]" said Lucidity. "[I know the way.]"

In the midst of scooping up the lyre, Puck froze and those round, brown eyes shot up, mouth gaping wide open. As he straightened, clutching his instrument in both hands, he began to sway back and forth on his feet. "Oh, oh, oh!" he cried with each rock of his body. And then he began to hop, up and down, around and around, dancing in fast circles around her and Sesshomaru. And again, every hop was punctuated with an "Oh, oh, oh!" until he finally screamed for the whole of Avalon to hear, "[GUARDIAN OF THE EAST! YOU ARE THE GUARDIAN OF THE EAST!]"

Laughing and prancing, his fingers started to flit across the strings, and he moved faster in his circles to the point that it was becoming dizzying to watch him. Head thrown back, he began to sing, his voice carrying, unnaturally amplified, but then ended on a high pitched screech when he quite unexpectedly lost his footing, only to be lifted up and sent sailing through the air. It took Lucidity a moment to understand what she was seeing, but once she spotted the green tendril, she realized what was happening. The Whip released him by the ankle just before he disappeared far into the thicket of trees that she and Sesshomaru had emerged from moments earlier. She could hear muted shouts and cursing before she glanced over at the daiyoukai, who was lowering his arm and marching off through the garden. 

"What manner of youkai was that?" was his first question after she caught up with him. 

"Not youkai," she said vaguely as she took in their surroundings, at the dramatic change of vegetation, of trees that littered the area, altering the landscape and thus making her pause when she realized she was uncertain of the path ahead. Sesshomaru, too, stopped and waited while she turned slowly around in an effort to get her bearings. 

"What then, if not youkai?" he asked. 

She looked at him. "Faerie," she said. "Of the harmless variety. Satomi knew of the company the North kept, but she never knew Puck personally. I only know him from stories. He's a trickster, from what I've read, so his behavior really doesn't surprise me; he'll probably try and get revenge on the little stunt you pulled."

"I will kill him if he makes the attempt."

"Please don't," she sighed, peering back at the trees. "That really would be rude. You're a guest here; you shouldn't go around killing the residents. Ah, I think it's this way," she added, and took off, striding past an outline of raised earth where a boulder had once laid and had since been overgrown with soil and grass.

"Why do you not travel on the wind?"

"Why would I with you here?" she was quick to say. "You hate it. And Puck was right." She glanced over at Sesshomaru, whose mouth pressed into a thin line. "It's very easy to get lost; this place is several times the size of the Isle, so I can't just up and leave you wherever." 

"I do not need you to guide me," was the haughty reply.

She let out a snort. "I also don't trust you with the locals, nor them with you. Puck isn't the only trickster, and there are others more dangerous than him who call this place home. Visitors are usually restricted to the castle grounds because, out in the forest, they are often fair game." 

"Nor do I need your protection."

"Tell that to Morstua." 

There was stony silence after that, which served in Lucidity's favor while searching for the path that soon led them out of the forest and onto the shoreline. The cadence of lapping waters filled the otherwise empty air, their feet sinking into the soft sand, as they walked along. With trees on one side and the ocean on the other, the beach was a path unto itself, a straight route from one direction to another. And up ahead, even the heart of darkness, their destination could never be missed. 

A castle.

At the top of a large, broad cliff, the highest point in the sanctuary, it put her little palace to shame. The whole of a village population could have lived comfortably inside. It contained a near endless array of stairs and halls that would take a lifetime to learn and navigate, floors that always seemed to be changing, rooms beyond the counting, windows like stars glittering with light through the glass panes. Towers and turrets, turrets upon turrets. Hidden doors and passages. And doors that were not doors, and walls that were not walls. Even to Satomi, the castle of the North had always held more secrets than perhaps Mother Herself.

The path of the beach ended at the base of the cliff, where sand gave way to rock and the sound of their footsteps grew heavier at the change of terrain. She and Sesshomaru continued to walk in silence, her attention never straying from the castle, which seemed to reveal some illusion or detail with every passing second. As they drew nearer, she spotted movement at the top of the entrance, where a drawbridge would have traditional been if a moat had existed. Figures were striding back and forth. Four-legged, about half the size of a horse, their scaly skin caught the light of torches that lined the ramparts. Horns, wings of a bat, the creatures were gruesome to look upon, but not altogether surprising to see.

Yet it wasn't the gargoyles that had Lucidity coming to an abrupt stop. It was the lights. An array of colors and glittering hues emerged from the depths of the night. Greens, blues, purples, reds, ever shifting and changing, as if an artist had splashed an assortment of paints across a blank canvas, only to spray water along the top and allow the colors to bleed together in a dripping rainbow. These lights swirled around the towers of the castle, raced up and down the curves of stone, expanded and diminished in the same breath, with no pattern or meaning to be deciphered. No end. No beginning.

Lucidity swallowed and felt herself shiver as her heart began to pound, breath caught in her throat at both the beauty and the possibility of what this could mean.

"What is it?"

Sesshomaru's voice was an odd, jarring noise in the surreal atmosphere that had seized the night, unwanted to some extent, and it took Lucidity a few moments to collect her thoughts. "That is...a bit difficult to explain," she said. "Do you remember what Rusuban told us when we first met her? Everything, I mean?"

Golden eyes met hers and she hated the thought that crossed her mind, the mere feeling that he could drag out of her from a simple glance, as if he was whispering more than the words he eventually spoke. "I cannot forget."

She took a deep breath and nodded, peering back up at the lights that had yet to cease their dancing. "That is called the aurora borealis, or the northern lights, and that is the extent of what most people know about it. But...those are Guardians."

"Guardians?" Sesshomaru repeated.

"Yes, the three who never took a physical form. Above, Below, and Within. Normally, they exist within their own domains, in dimensions that no one but a Guardian or Mother can access. But when they come to this plain, they are able to be seen by the naked eye, if they so choose. It doesn't happen often that they allow others to see them this close. The fact that they would...."

"It frightens you," he finished for her when she became silent.

"Yes," she murmured. "Everything about this frightens me."

"...are you still in pain?"

The question seemed so out of the blue and she glanced over at the daiyoukai with a frown, to find him watching her with such intent that she felt as if she should have expected him to ask such a thing. "No," she answered, sighing softly. "Whatever Mother did, it's gone now. But She was...hurting, and I know that it was more pain than She could convey. I can't think of any time in Satomi's memories that this has happened before."

An icy pit of fear had settled in her chest by the time she finished speaking and a shudder raced through her that could not be helped as she shook her head and looked away from Sesshomaru. Part of her didn't want to press on, didn't want to see what lay beyond the entrance to the castle, didn't want to learn what terrible news awaited on the other side. Of course, she had no choice. She couldn't abandon the other Guardians, any more than she could have ignored her Mother's summons to come here. She wanted...wished that Sesshomaru would say something, do something, the smallest show of reassurance, to remind her that she wasn't on her own. He'd wanted to come with her, demanded it. And yet, she was riddled with doubt about his reason. Was it to keep her safe, to watch over her, because it was what he desired or was it because he was bound by duty? However, this wasn't the time or place to question his motives. And yet, as she began to put one foot in front of the other, she couldn't stop herself from dwelling on what he had said-seconds before Mother had unleashed Her assault-that they could not remain as they were. What...in the seven hells had he meant?

A harsh jolt back to reality came in the form of one of those oversized bats almost landing on her head. Startled, Lucidity jumped back and barely managed to snatch Sesshomaru by the wrist when he raised an arm, a soft, green glow encasing his fingers. He pulled out of her grasp, frowning at her, but she said nothing as she kept her attention on the snarling gargoyle, watching it shift its weight back and forth, its wings flapping rather furiously, as if daring them to come closer. 

_"Oh, stop it,"_  Lucidity told the creature, only not in so many words.  _"Leave us alone."_

Immediately, the gargoyle started to back away, pointed ears pressed down, a whine low in its throat before it bowed its head. And then it turned, took a running leap, and soared its ass back to the ramparts. Lucidity followed its progress until it quickly landed. And even then, the gargoyle began to howl, and its brothers soon joined in. 

"What did you do?" Sesshomaru asked, taking a step forward and peering around at the assembled pack. 

"Ordered him to get lost," Lucidity muttered. 

"How's this?" he pressed, and there was an underlining hint of irritation in his voice; he never did seem to enjoy it when he did not understand something. 

"The language of the Guardians has no words," she replied. "More...with the mind, really. Remember that the Guardians had to communicate in some way before they had bodies. And it's the only language these things respond to. They're the watchers of the castle, carved from the same stone and brought to life by the North and her Tree. If anyone unfamiliar enters without the accompaniment of a Guardian, that person is-"

"Fair game," interrupted the daiyoukai. "Your Guardian of the North seems overly cautious of strangers." 

"She's too used to faeries running amok, I guess. Come on; we should get inside." 

There were no more surprise pounces from the gargoyles as Lucidity and Sesshomaru made it through the entrance. Nothing but flags of stone greeted them; no grand decor or jaw dropping beauty. Though there were numerous lights that were floating around or cutting sharp paths through the air. Tiny balls of light they were, too, hardly large enough to fill a palm. Several of these buzzed around her and the daiyoukai, little more than a harmless nuisance, as they made their way up the stairs that led to the large, front doors, which were almost twice their height.

"What are these?" muttered Sesshomaru, glancing at a speck of light near his ear. 

"They're...er...." Lucidity paused with a frown, glancing up at the glittery display. "I don't know the exact translation, but they're called [will-o'-the-wisps.]"  And when Sesshomaru repeated the name, she nodded and turned to the door. "Also...don't follow them if they ever try to lead you anywhere." 

"Why?" 

"Just don't," she told him, pulling on the old, rusted handle and easing the door open. 

The inside was...a forgotten splendor. It had changed since the last time she had...since Satomi had last been here. The once lavishly illuminated entrance hall was dim and ghostly. The candles that filled the grand chandeliers, three in all, had long since gone out, their melted figures covered in dust. In fact, most everything was covered in layers of dust, enough that their footsteps were muffled. Suits of armor were rusted and falling apart in their niches along the walls. The few remaining torches were broken and unlit. Paintings and tapestries had faded and were rotting away. Everywhere she looked, the beauty and grandeur had wilted like so many dead flowers. The castle, overall, could remind someone of a fair maiden withered and hunched with age, leaving behind a frail, blind crone, who whispered in the tongues of a mind grown feeble.

Lucidity had to close her eyes, as what she could see here and now warred with the images that filled her head, of what Satomi had experienced. Countless times Satomi had visited and never, in all those centuries, had the castle fallen into such a gloomy neglect. Opening her eyes, Lucidity peered around once more, taking everything in slowly: the grand, split staircase that led into the shadows to different wings; doors on either side that would take one to the kitchens, servants quarters, dining hall, ball room, gardens, or nowhere at all. But there was one door in particular, tucked behind the stairs, that was of interest to her at the moment. She strode across the formerly magnificent entrance hall, noticing the path that had already been formed in the dust, which meant she was not the first to arrive. And beyond the door, the walls were marked with burning torches, spaced evenly every handful of feet or so. There was more dust here, cobwebs along the ceiling, but the inhabitants had long since fled the flickering light. The passageway sloped ever downward, and was narrow enough that she didn't doubt that Sesshomaru, if he wasn't careful, would run the risk catching the mokomoko on a torch. 

"Where are you taking us?" he asked. 

"There's a room down here that the North prefers to gather in, where the inhabitants won't disturb us by accident. And...I'm afraid you won't be able to join us," she added. 

It didn't come as a shock when the footsteps behind her suddenly ceased and she peered around to see Sesshomaru frowning at her in apparent irritation. "Then why bring me here?" he demanded.

"You would have argued with me regardless," she sighed. "At least this way you know where I will be. Wait outside in the hall or wander the castle. I don't care, but I have to go." And she turned away to continue down into the passage; predictably, he followed. 

"I will not be dismissed, Lucidity; you know this," he said. "I would learn the reason that you have been summoned here." 

"And I will tell you, after I meet with the others."

"Lucidity-" 

"I would heed her advice, Protector," chimed in a new voice, the words laced with a foreign accent that could not be placed. "You will gleam no more from it than any other mortal creature in this world." 

Both Lucidity and Sesshomaru came to a stop as a figure walked out from a bend in the passage, having been just out of sight. The sudden arrival of this man was as unexpected as his appearance. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and dressed in rich, dark fabric, which included a tunic, leggings tucked into leather boots, and a long cloak with silver fastenings. Yet it was the dual-colored hair that caught her attention, the black locks pulled up in a high ponytail and the white bangs draped around a face of refined features. And then she noticed that his eyes were not hidden by those bangs, but were pure white as well. No irises. If that alone did not mark him as anything but human, the sharply pointed ears would have done the trick. He came to stand before her, arms folded, proud and dignified in spite of their dreary surroundings. 

"You...understand us?" was the first thing Lucidity could think to say after recovering from her initial surprise. 

"Yes," said the stranger, glancing between her and Sesshomaru. "My Lady North has been gracious enough to teach me many languages, including yours. Though, by your coloring, it is not your native tongue either." 

"As good as," Lucidity said. 

"You are the new Guardian of the East," he replied, more statement than question, but she nodded all the same, to which he responded with a respectful bow. "An honor to meet you, Lady East, and your Protector. I am Oberon." 

Lucidity's eyes flew wide and she nearly took a step back before she managed to stop herself. "O-Oberon?" she stammered in a soft voice. 

Oberon straightened, a small, albeit bemused smile playing on his lips. "Yes. I have been friend and consort of my Lady North for several centuries, but I never met the former Guardian of the East. Yet you seem to know me, my Lady. How?" 

"Stories," she muttered. "You've...made yourself known to mortals." 

"Indeed," said Oberon. "And so has your sister; she is my Titania. But neither of us were aware that our tales had spread so far." 

Lucidity shook her head. This was too much to take in at face value, and now was not the time. She was intrigued, yes, even excited to a point to learn such secrets behind ancient lore, which she would most definitely ask the North about later. Yet, as of this moment, she had more pressing concerns, and gave the faerie a perfunctory smile. "Thank you, Oberon," she told him. "We should speak later, but-" 

"Yes, the others are waiting. Titania should be arriving shortly," he said. "Shall I play host to your Protector until your meeting has ended?" 

She didn't answer, but glanced over at Sesshomaru, who had, as usual, been perfectly quiet. Even now, he said not a word, merely fixed her with a piercing glare, and then turned on a sharp heel and stalked back up the passage. With a sigh, she turned her attention back to Oberon. "You are welcome to make the attempt, but he isn't one for company." 

"Nor am I, but, forgive me, I am not comfortable allowing a daemon to wander unattended in my home." 

How he knew what Sesshomaru was, she wasn't certain, and could only shake her head in response. "It's your home; you don't need my permission. Just remember that he is my Protector...and my husband, and can be territorial where I am concerned." 

It was Oberon's turn to be shocked. His mouth fell open and he stared to such a point that it would have been considered rude in any society. Eventually, he managed to recover himself, snapped his jaw shut, and gave another bow. "As you say, Lady East. Please excuse me."  

And then Lucidity was alone in the passageway. The footsteps of the two men-Fae and youkai respectfully-faded into nothing and she was left with little more than the sound of her own breathing and torches flickering under the draft of air sent down the tunnel-like hall from the distant door being opened and shut. She continued on her way and soon rounded the bend that Oberon had emerged from. Why he was down here, she could only fathom, since outsiders never attended meetings, as far as she knew. He must have been waiting for the North, or rather Titania. 

Gods! The North had actually allowed herself to be named?! Not only that, she was known to the human world now and would be for centuries. Was there something Lucidity was missing? Had the North done this before, some time after Satomi had died? Or was this new? Was that why the castle was in such a state of neglect? Had the North grown bored of life on Avalon? 

Questions for later. Probably much later, Lucidity reminded herself, as she came to a stop in front of a plain, wooden door. There was no handle, only hinges for it to swing upon, but Lucidity found herself staring at it nonetheless, as if there was some secret to opening it. Only in this moment had she stopped to consider, to really think about what was going on. She had been in such a rush to answer the summons, to find out what was going on, that she never bothered to reflect on what it was that she was actually doing.

She was preparing to meet the other Guardians.

Immortal beings, beyond the concept of time, power near limitless, who neither thought, nor felt as a mortal did. Well, save perhaps one. But even then, the South had been a Guardian for centuries, over a thousand years, at least, the exact date always uncertain. The South had probably long since forgotten what it meant to be human. Yet for Lucidity? It hadn't even been a full year. Memories or not, she was a child, an infant in comparison, and had already broken taboo more than once. And she well aware of how Satomi had felt towards the woman who had become the new Guardian of the South; at least until she, too, made the same decision to become mortal, albeit for different reasons. 

No matter where Lucidity went, she was an outsider, pressing her face against the glass as she peered in. But...she couldn't afford the luxury of lingering on any insecurities. Swallowing, she straightened herself as well as she could, ran her hands through her hair in a final gesture of nerves, and then pushed the door open.

At first glance, she believed the room to be empty, in spite of what Oberon had said. She saw only the four stone seats that were carved into the walls, opposite each other, and the gleaming reflecting pool in the center, smaller than the traditional Sagashite; a quick sift through the memories told her that it was the only one of the other four that had the ability to search each domain, depending on which Guardian was instructing it. And then, a movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she looked over.

It was the Guardian of the West, moving out from the shadows, hands clasped behind her back and dark eyes fixed on Lucidity. She was just as Satomi remembered her. A petite woman, very petite, barely gracing over four feet with a slender build. Her face was a perfect oval and framed with straight, black hair that stretched to her lower back; and even in the dim lighting, Lucidity could make out the copper tone of her skin. Regardless of her size, each step the West took was with an understated self-assurance, a complete confidence in her own person, and the haughtiness in which she regarded Lucidity was almost enough to make the younger of the two turn from her.

_"East?"_ spoke the West in the same language Lucidity had used with the gargoyle, the language that never had words, but filled the mind with colors and shapes, patterns and hints of emotions, endless nuances and combinations, all rolled together in the utter abstraction that only the daughters of the Mother could ever completely comprehend. And when Lucidity nodded, the West gazed at her for a heartbeat or two longer, then moved away. Lucidity let out a soft breath, before peering over at the only other occupant in the room, sitting serenely in her respective chair. 

Perfectly still as she was, hands folded upon crossed legs, she moved without moving. The way the light caught the curls of her hair or the fabric of her dress seemed to reveal a natural unity of her essence, like one color flowing into another, utterly flawless under the skilled brush of a painter. The South had fire for hair, which always struck Lucidity as an oddity, but it would be a lie to say that the deep scarlet was not an appealing shade. And the bright green of her eyes could not hide the obvious interest in which she studied Lucidity, though she had not spoken or budged a muscle. Her face was a woman's face, the features full and mature, and her body was most definitely a woman's body, curved in all the necessary places. In Lucidity's understanding, the South had been nearly thirty years in age when she'd become a Guardian, which had been well beyond womanhood in her time. And yet, the only thing Lucidity saw was a young lady offering a friendly smile. 

_"South,"_  Lucidity managed to greet as she settled into her stone chair. 

The South considered her for a moment, then unexpectedly said aloud, "My name...Thalia. What you?" 

Surprised, Lucidity offered her own name, before saying, "You know this language then? I didn't realize you visited the East's domain." 

"Yes. I visit. I learn. Not many years. Understand better. Knew you will talk this language. Wanted learn. Speak with...Lucidity," said the South, and a broad smile curved her lips. 

" _Enough, you two_ ," said the West suddenly, striding forward and taking her seat. _"We don't need to bother with these human tongues, not when any creature might overhear our secrets."_

_"And what would these creatures do with our secrets, dear sister?"_  asked Thalia, and there was heavy sarcasm laced throughout her being, right down to the way she tapped her fingers. _"Create stories and poetry about us? Spill our existence to the world when most mortals believe us to be myths?"_

_"Do not mock-"_ began the West, but her outburst quickly died away when a burst of brilliant light swept through the room.

Lucidity, momentarily blinded, blinked rapidly, noticing Thalia and the West doing the same, before she peered over at the others, Above, Below, and Within, drifting through the room. Their colors shimmered not only along the floor, walls, and ceiling, but the three of them as well. Mauve, magenta, emerald illuminated the pale skin of Lucidity's hands. So surreal, it was, something straight out of a dream. Tragic and beautiful at the same time. The way these spectral beings weaved and danced, how their colors shifted from a warm summer to a cool winter, casting everything in a deep ocean of sapphire hues, filled the air with an oppressive chill. And Lucidity found herself swallowing, her nails scraping along the arm of the chair.

_"What is it?"_ asked the West, sitting forward, and there was a tremor in her stance, a note of fear in her expression. _"Do you know why we have been summoned here?"_

There was soft burst of tiny lights throughout the display of the aurora borealis, as if many holes had been poked through a sheet to let in the sun. Somehow, it was reminiscent of raindrops. And then the three sisters uttered in unison a simple, devastating revelation:

_"The Guardian of the North is dead."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like shit just hit the fan, no? But hey, we finally got to meet the other Guardians! Most of them, anyway.... 
> 
> I'm hoping there won't be a delay in the next chapter. I'm a little distracted these days. This new idea has really taken over for a modern plot with Lucidity and Sesshomaru. It's a story unto itself. About the only things that are the same is the reason Lucidity left her home country and daemons being sealed up, including Sesshomaru. But the who and how and why are completely different, like everything else. Gonna be a bit darker, too. Perhaps much darker. Who knows? I'm very excited about it! I'm planning on writing it at some point, preferably after I'm done with Born of Fire. So don't worry! I'm determined to finish this sequel! Even if finding that muse is proving to be a challenge.... *grumbles*


	11. Chapter 11

The fabric was old and worn, but the picture depicted by the meticulously sewn thread could still be seen under the growing decay. The detail of it was...astonishing, and yet expected for the amount of wall the tapestry covered, larger than any space found on the walls of palace back on the Isle, save perhaps those in the ceremonial chamber. The green of forests was everywhere. Patterns of rivers and lakes carved through the trees. A waterfall-or what remained that could be seen-took up the space of a top corner. A village of humans going about their lives stretched across the bottom. People working the farms, collecting buckets from wells, tending to farm animals, children playing with sticks and hoops, men chopping wood, women cooking on open fires outside. Hunters were bringing down game in the forests. Men dressed in strange armor marched on horses towards a castle not unlike the North's. Archers were practicing with targets or shooting down birds from the air. Wolves were coming down from the mountains to prey on flocks of odd animals that appeared to be covered in heavy amounts of white, coarse fur.

As Sesshomaru studied the unfamiliar creatures, the echo of footsteps reached his ears and soon the door to the underground tunnel opened, then shut. He continued to walk alongside the tapestry, his gaze sliding over the endless scenes, as he ignored the presence of the other male. A task that became increasingly difficult when Oberon joined him in his observations.

"It was once very beautiful," Oberon said. "A shame it has fallen into such a state, as so much of the castle has. If you had visited only fifty years ago, it would have been more impressive, more immaculate. Though I'm afraid Titania's interest in this place has been waning far longer than that. It's only a matter of time before she dismantles everything and begins anew, if the idea even appeals to her."

And though Sesshomaru conveyed no regard to the conversation, let alone acknowledged him in the slightest, Oberon followed as the daiyoukai moved on to consider the strange shell of armor stacked in a niche, the same as what he'd seen in the tapestry. Of course, neither of these items held much intrigue for him, not when his mind was distracted by the meeting he'd been barred from. A fist tightened at his side. Something had happened, something vital, something that he was certain would bring about a drastic change in their lives, and there was nothing that he could do. She'd dismissed him. In spite of what he'd said, his presence was...unnecessary in these matters concerning the Guardians. And the frustration of it, the humiliation....

"There are other parts of the castle that are more appealing than this," said Oberon. "If you would prefer-"

"I do not care to see the castle any more than you care to show me," Sesshomaru interrupted. "We are both biding our time until the Guardians are done."

A soft chuckle rose from behind him. "Very true. And personally, I would rather wait in an area that did not smell of old rot."

"Then go," said Sesshomaru, and, again, began to walk away.

"Surely you must realize by now that I do not trust you?"

The daiyoukai stopped and peered back at Oberon, who stood with his arms folded, a peculiar smile on his face.

"And you do not trust me either," he continued. "It's to be expected when meeting strangers from a strange land. A daemon and a Fae, as unlike one another as can be, but who-by the grace of the Mother-have in common the remarkable women in their lives. I have never met a man who has also been claimed by a Guardian. And here I find myself in the presence of one who has managed to marry a daughter of the Mother Goddess." Suddenly, Oberon tossed his head back and laughed. "You must tell me your secret, young Protector. The Lady North does not understand the appeal of marriage. Not even I, Oberon, King of the Faeries, has been able to convince her otherwise."

Sesshomaru blinked. King? Lucidity had explained this foreign term to him some time ago, and the idea that the one who stood before him was, in reality, not a simple consort, but a monarch was...difficult to accept.

"It looks as if you have questions as well," said Oberon. "Shall we continue this discussion somewhere more inhabitable?"

There was no verbal agreement from the daiyoukai, and yet, regardless, he found himself outside a short while later, walking side-by-side with the ruler of this foreign land. If there was one matter he could agree on, it was the unpleasant smell of the castle and that the air out here was, indeed, more appealing than the grime and dust inside that had built up over the decades. It was the main courtyard that Oberon had brought him to, having led the way through a sea of twists and turns of halls and doors until they reached the exit. Gardens had been mentioned by the Fae King, along with fountains with no clear source of the water that trickled so freely from them, and a grand maze of towering hedges that stretched towards the ends of the cliff.

Not once did he speak of the tree surrounded by these hedges.

Sesshomaru was...taken aback by the sight. Never had he laid eyes on such a structure. Its physical form had been hidden by the castle-though the castle itself was not much larger-while its aura was obscured by the very island it had put its roots in. Even now, standing so close, he could not tell one from the other. There was an ethereal glow to the foliage, an unnatural light to its body and branches, as if a fire burned inside it, yet caused no harm. The Hahaoya no Shikyu was a sapling in comparison. 

"Magnificent, isn't it?" murmured Oberon. "I understand you have one similar in the Lady East's domain. But this one is _Primum Lignum_ : The First Tree, which is fitting, considering."

The daiyoukai waited a moment, but when no further explanation was forthcoming, he begrudgingly found himself asking,"...considering what?"

Oberon appeared startled for a moment, before his expression relaxed into an amused smile. "You don't know, do you?"

Sesshomaru felt a sneer twist his lips and, rather than endure an attitude of such haughty superiority, took a bounding leap over the hedges of the maze. An exclamation of surprise echoed after him, soon followed by Oberon himself. So, a Fae could keep pace with a youkai lord? Would a King of Fae prove to be a worthy opponent? Sesshomaru wondered this and more as he darted across the maze until he finally reached the center, the ground of which was overrun with the great roots of the First Tree. The one he came to stand beside was larger than he; even in his true form, he would have been an insect crawling upon the branches.

Oberon dropped to the ground beside him, panting slightly and, yet, somehow still smiling. "You're fast, young Protector," he said, brushing a hand through his white bangs. "Though, I suppose I should not be surprised. You must be a great warrior in order to be charged with the safety of the East. You watched over her while she was still human, yes? And safeguard her even now when it is necessary?"

"That is correct," answered the daiyoukai as his hand came to rest against the root. The power. He could feel it more acutely now, a subtle hum against his palm. Dormant, he realized.

"So, what is your secret? How did you convince a Guardian to marry you?"

Drawing his hand from the First Tree, Sesshomaru folded his arms with his sleeves and peered over at Oberon, whose odd, white eyes seemed so intent, eager as he was for a potential way in order to obtain what he so blatantly desired with the Guardian of the North. "You are a fool if you believe there is any such secret," he told the Fae King.

"Ah, then, a fool I must be, because I do find that hard to believe," Oberon replied with a shake of his head. "No Guardian has ever taken a husband before, not without surrendering her power. The original Guardians of the East and South were unusual in their choices, I will grant you that. But even the South's successor, from the interactions I have had with her over the years, has come to the realization that she and her sisters really have no need for us mortals; we matter little to them in the grand scheme of their lives. For all the centuries the Lady North and I have been lovers, she will eventually leave me. I am not her first, and nor shall I be her last."

"And your point is?" demanded Sesshomaru, none too amused by this line of conversation.

"Your wife is an anomaly," said Oberon. "And while I wish you the best, I can't help but feel that neither of you understand potential harm this may cause. Or, if the Lady East does, then I hope she is prepared for what is to come." And suddenly, he paused and turned his attention to the castle, where the many windows still gleamed, in spite of the emptiness within its walls.

A silence fell, one that was...disconcerting to the daiyoukai. "What are these consequences you speak of?" he soon asked.

A sigh broke from the Fae King, who closed his eyes briefly, before meeting his gaze with a sense of reluctance. "She has broken custom," he murmured. "Guardians are slow to accept change. The South, though she has been around for more than a millennia, is still viewed as an outsider, not fully trusted to an extent. Your Lady Lucidity faces the same challenges. And by marrying you, I imagine it will be even more difficult, for she has shown that her loyalties are divided, and at a time when it is most crucial that our Guardians be united, now that the Mother has summoned them together. That is why you came across me in the hall; I am fearful about what is taking place in that meeting."

* * *

_"You're wrong. It cannot be possible."_

_"It is, and we are not wrong."_

_"No, no! This is a mistake! Her body, her power-"_

_"Gone. Everything she was has been eradicated. The Guardian of North is no more."_

_"She can't be!"_

_"She is. Mother has shown us and Mother is never wrong."_

_"Mother is not infallible,"_ said Thalia. _"And yet, we_ can _die. It is not impossible."_

 _"It has never happened before!"_ exclaimed the West. _"So...how...how could our Sister North...? HOW?!"_

Lucidity had not moved from where she sat, watching and listening to the back and forth bickering. The Guardian of the West had risen from her chair, utter anguish etched across her face, and the helplessness of her plea, of begging to understand the unfathomable, brought a certain constriction to the throat. Even the South was both on her feet, the grave news too much to allow her to remain still. The other three continued to swirl through the room, their own voices heard as one, while Lucidity felt the intruder, bearing witness to these strangers reacting to the death of one they had known for so long, the death of one who was family before the concept of family ever existed. And she, herself, could only sit there, a faint numbness of shock having settled over her. She needed to...say something, do something, anything but remain the quiet observer. 

_"You!"_

Lucidity jumped when the West rounded on her without warning.

_"Do you know anything about this?!"_

_"No!"_ Lucidity said, eyes wide, and shook her head. _"Of course not."_

 _"Why would you even believe she played a part of this?"_ asked Thalia with a hard frown. _"A single Guardian cannot kill a sister; each of us are of equal strength."_

 _"Unless the sister she would make her victim sleeps,"_ countered the West. 

_"Yes, but, again, I ask you why you believe our Sister East could ever be responsible?"_

_"How can you not consider it? The earth has not even completed its rotation around our star since she came into her power. And now one of our number has been slaughtered, all trace of her erased? How can you believe this a coincidence?"_

_"I have no reason to hurt any of you, let alone kill,"_  said Lucidity, rising to her feet.

 _"You have a lot to gain from this,"_ scowled the West as she pointed a sharp finger at her. _"I do not-"_

 _"I know you don't like me,"_ Lucidity interrupted. _"And I understand how you can't completely trust me. But how could you jump to this conclusion first without considering other possibilities? What about the Princes? How could you assume it was me over them when they have more motive than I ever could?"_

_"The power you could be given-"_

_"Gods be damned!"_ Lucidity cried out with a stomp of her foot. _"Why do people always assume that I ever wanted anything to do with you Guardians?! You need to understand this and understand this now!"_ she continued as she strode over to the West, cutting a quick path across the room until she stood in front of her. _"I don't want the power I do have, but have kept it out of necessity. I am not interested in gaining more. I don't want to gain anything! All I want is to protect this world and the people in it. I want to go back home with my Protector and keep him, and others whom I care about, safe. Is that too much to get through your thick head, you stubborn, old-"_

 _"Shame! Shame! You bring shame to us and our Mother!"_ The bright glow of the aurora borealis swirled through the room, spinning so fast that one color could not be picked from the other, and a soft surge of energy crackled through the air. _"You shame yourselves, arguing amongst each other,"_ the three continued. _"We are all sisters. We are all Guardians. Daughters of the Mother Goddess. We have lost our eldest, our leader, our first! And this is how you conduct yourselves in the wake of her passing?! You disgust us!"_

Silence prevailed. 

Lucidity and the West looked at one another. And though the contempt was unmistakable in those dark eyes, the West merely scowled in the end and turned away to stride back over to her chair, where she sat, body and posture as rigid as the stone. It did not take long for Lucidity and Thalia to do the same, a sigh breaking from the latter, who settled into her place with a sense of exhausted resignation. 

 _"They're right,"_ Thalia said. _"There is no enemy from within. Our enemies are out there. The Princes of Death have always had their fun, while we clean up their messes. It is not difficult to believe that they would become more inventive now that we have taken on the guise of humans. But I am assuming that the North was killed beyond the borders of Avalon. Is this correct?"_ she added, peering up at the lights still churning around the room. 

 _"Yes,"_ the three echoed. _"Mother had us search. It is not far from here."_

 _"Then a number of creatures could have slain her, especially if she risked sleeping outside the sanctuary,"_ said Thalia. _"Beings from the Netherworld, for instance, not just the Princes."_

 _"Traces,"_ said the three. _"Only traces of the Netherworld, could we feel. Not enough for the presence of a Prince. Less power, it had."_

 _"But enough power that a Guardian became its prey,"_ said the West. _"It still could have been on the orders of the Princes."_  

 _"Yes,"_ Thalia agreed with a pointed stare. _"In this matter, they should be suspected first before anyone else."_

The West drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair, settling for a firm glare, before speaking again. _"But why? Why shift their strategies now? Why escalate?"_

 _"Perhaps they've grown bored,"_ suggested Thalia. _"It's been known to happen."_

 _"Yes, but the Princes have always attacked the planet with greater force when they decide it has been too quiet for too long. Never have they attacked us directly like this, not to...not to such an extent."_ And, suddenly, the West slumped back, the fire of her temper vanishing altogether, as she closed her eyes, head in her hand. _"Why would they do this? Why the North? She is...was...."_

 _"She was the strongest of us,"_ Thalia sighed, arms loosely folded, as she peered up at the low ceiling. _"She kept us in line at the worst of times, kept us grounded. Her death...it has already weakened our bonds."_

 _"But that can't be the only reason. Something has changed,"_ the West said. _"But other than the East returning to our fold, what could it be? Nothing like this happened when you came into your power, South, so...what could motivate them to do this?"_

_"I wish I knew."_

_"There_ is _something different, sisters,"_ spoke the three, and the West straightened, while Thalia looked up with a sharp frown. _"An oddity we have not encountered before."_

 _"An oddity?"_ Thalia repeated as she leaned forward. _"What do you mean? Where?"_

 _"The atmosphere,"_ said the three. _"We have felt it only today when we came here. It grates against us, does not belong."_

 _"The atmosphere...but that is yours,"_ said Thalia, and peered over at Lucidity. 

Lucidity's hands clenched in her lap and she found herself biting down on her lip in spite of her efforts. She glanced from Thalia to the West, both of whom were watching her intently, while the three insubstantial Guardians drifted around them, a constant shimmer of shifting color and shape. Heart pounding, she swallowed and let out a slow breath. _"Morstua,"_ she told the others. _"He is my prisoner."_

 _"What?!"_ The West was immediately on her feet, her eyes wild with alarm. _"What do you mean he is your prisoner? Why would you dare do such a thing?!"_

 _"It is what he deserves,"_ said Lucidity. 

 _"That is not how it's done!"_ she shouted. 

 _"Indeed, not,"_ Thalia agreed. _"No matter what grievances he may have caused you, he needs to be sent home to his realm, where he will remain locked away."_

Lucidity shook her head. _"Only until he frees himself will he be trapped. And even then, it's not as if the Netherworld is a prison for him, not for any of them. They simply lose interest in the place and want somewhere new to play, then come here and cause as much damage as possible until we kick them out again. It's ridiculous! And what he did-"_

 _"It does not matter!"_ the West snapped. _"You have no right to change the rules of war! You...you.... THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"_

It went without saying that Lucidity was not expecting so explosive a reaction, one that quite literally upended her from the stone chair. Though the West remained where she stood, body stiff, hands fisted at her sides, the tidal wave of power knocked the unsuspecting Lucidity to the floor, shook the dust from every nook in the ceiling, and threatened to sear the oxygen from the room. A fire seemed to be burning in Lucidity's lungs as she lay there, her head spinning. She was gasping for air, trying to find her bearings, when, all at once, the heat of the attack disappeared and she pushed herself up to see Thalia forcing the West away, hands locked onto each other's arms, auras clashing. And then that, too, came to an abrupt end when the other three Guardians tore them apart, spiraling downward and slamming them backwards in opposite directions, where they both struck the walls and collapsed to the ground.

 _"No!"_ they screeched. _"Do not fight your own sisters! We must be-"_

 _"They are not our sisters!"_ cried the West as she scrambled to her feet, disheveled, trembling with rage, and her eyes too bright for comfort. _"These two with human names, they are not true Guardians! They are the ones who bring us shame! And you!"_ She pointed at Lucidity. _"The death of my Sister North is your fault! The Princes, this was their revenge. You violated our ways, our rules, and they shattered our family in return. And you dare! You dare call yourself a Guardian! You are unworthy to even speak the title!"_

 _"Please, calm yourself,"_ came the soft voice of Thalia, who had managed to stand and was now approaching the raging West, hands out, imploring for reason. _"The only one we should blame is the enemy who took the North from us. We can't afford to turn on each other, not when it is more dire than ever now that we join together."_

 _"I will join with no Guardians tainted by human heritage as you have been,"_ snarled the West. _"May my Mother learn from her mistakes and birth proper daughters next time. Until that happens, I will have nothing to do with such lowborn bastards."_

 _"Sister,"_ called the three. _"Stay your decision. Do not leave yet. Allow us time to search, to discover who is behind this terrible deed. They are enemy to us all; we must be prepared."_

The West blinked and the anger contorting her face suddenly eased as she straightened. _"Take me there,"_ she declared. _"I want to see for myself where she died, to find what taints the land in the wake of her passing."_

 _"You must stay-"_ the three began.

 _"Show me!"_ the West commanded, and released the first verbal sound she had made that morning: a high shriek of fury. _"Show me, damn you, or I will find the place on my own before returning to my domain indefinitely! Do you understand me?!"_

The room splashed with wisps of deep blue and swirls of magenta, which washed over the richly colored skin of the fiery Guardian until she was lost to the brilliant display of northern lights. _"As you wish, sister,"_ they echoed, and swept her from the room, out of the very castle.

It was only when silence reigned that Lucidity slowly became aware of herself again. Still on the floor, she had not moved. She didn't even remember if she had managed to breathe properly, she was panting so heavily, simply from bearing witness to this horrible calamity. The devastation that could follow in its wake...she shuddered at the mere thought, but could do nothing but clamber to her feet, her stomach full of knows. Yet she paused when a hand entered her field of vision, staring a moment, then peered up at the Guardian of the South, saw the weight behind that brilliant green gaze, and felt something tighten inside and her throat swell uncomfortably. She had to look down before she took the proffered hand and allowed Thalia to help her up.

 _"That,"_ Lucidity whispered, brushing herself off, _"was a disaster."_

_"And that is an understatement, dear sister."_

Hearing those words made Lucidity want to recoil, and she clenched a fist at her side as she gazed around the room, so empty and eerie in the abrupt silence that they had been left in. _"Is there anything we can do at this point?"_ she eventually asked.

 _"Little can be done until our Sister West returns,"_ said Thalia as she folded her arms. _"And even then, I doubt she will be cooperative. There is so much more we need to discuss and potentially plan for. This is new territory for us; I cannot imagine what will come of everything, what the Princes will do, and...."_ She trailed off and glanced over at Lucidity with a frown. _"Why..._ did _you break tradition? How did Morstua wrong you that you would even think of committing such an act?"_

A hand was on the back of her neck before Lucidity realized she had moved her arm. Fingers traced over the familiar marks, the scars that he had managed to leave on her, and, in return, felt something constrict inside her, clutching with a cold grip inside her chest, and she suddenly wanted.... But it was impossible. He wasn't.... The impasse he'd mentioned would never allow it. She was...alone in this.

"Lucidity?"

The sound of her name spoken aloud had her jerking her head up, to see Thalia watching her rather intently, a quizzical frown on her full lips. "Sorry," Lucidity murmured. "I was just remembering, what Morstua did, the things he claimed, that made me believe it necessary to entrap him. And also to draw his brothers out."

"His brothers?" repeated Thalia in surprise. "Why?"

The initial impulse was to refuse any sort of explanation, feeling that it was none of Thalia's business. Considering that was the same sort of answer she had given others who had attempted to pry information from her-such as the Viper Clan before they'd been dismissed from the Isle-Lucidity wasn't surprised at her lack of interest to respond. She had no desire to reveal the things Morstua had done or said he would do. That was...that was personal. And the only one who knew about the finer details was Sesshomaru, which she wanted to keep that way. But the rest, about what the Princes were plotting, that was...it actually _was_ Thalia's business and the realization startled Lucidity to some degree; she'd forgotten whose company she was in. Thalia wasn't some villager or random youkai. Thalia was a goddamn Guardian, just like her. More like her than the others, more like her than anyone else in the world. And as Lucidity let go of her reserve and finally began to reveal to Thalia what happened with Morstua, she couldn't help but wonder if Thalia felt the same sort of relief, to know that she wasn't alone anymore. Not alone...to some extent, at least. 

"That is...." Thalia began once Lucidity finished, but then shook her head. _"Forgive me; I do not know enough of your language to convey myself clearly. What you've told me, it is unsettling. I never would have imagined that the Princes would become so bold with us. I don't believe any of us could have imagined this. Perhaps that is our shortcoming: we are too accustomed to old ways and we lack the imagination of our enemies. Perhaps...not you, with your fresh eyes. But, if what you say is true, this puts us all danger."_

"It's true," Lucidity said. "I wish to the gods it wasn't, but it is. We've been in danger before, but never like this." 

 _"No, never like this,"_ Thalia agreed. _"We have never been more vulnerable. It will not be difficult for the Princes to execute their plans with our numbers depleted and with such dissension between us. The West needs to know; I should be the one to tell her when she returns. It might be best to minimize your interactions with each other until she has calmed down."_

"That...could take a while," Lucidity muttered, once more rubbing the back of her neck. "Her fury is...." 

 _"It's her way,"_ said Thalia. _"She never hid her disdain for me; I am not surprised at her reaction to you. It's simply in her nature. Do not dwell on it."_

In her nature? Was that the only reason? Lucidity wished she could believe that, wished that it was merely because the West was biased that had her taking out such wrath on Lucidity, who could not completely shake that sharp sting of hearing that it was her fault, that she was the ultimate cause for the murder of the North. She had tipped the balance, and the thought had her stomach running cold. She folded her arms tight across her body, frowning hard at the ground, her feet shifting. 

"What...troubles?" came the soft whisper from the Guardian of the South. 

"Need you ask?" she mumbled. And when she was answered with nothing but silence, she reluctantly lifted her gaze and found those green eyes staring back at her, as acute in their focus as a certain other pair that often scrutinized her, albeit were gold in color. "Would it...?" she heard herself say. "Would it have made a difference, if the North had known about Morstua?"

 _"It may have,"_ Thalia said. _"It may have not. We can never know."_

Her stomach churned. She actually...felt ill. Of course, she couldn't really become ill or vomit or any of that human stuff. But she had yet to forget that sensation, of muscles contracting, tasting bile in the back of her throat, of her body heaving and expelling its contents. And to her irritation, she shivered at the memory and quickly turned away. "I have to...I need to tell Sesshomaru," she said, and yet knew it was more of excuse than a need. 

_"Who now?"_

"Sesshomaru," she repeated. "My protector. I promised I would let him know. If we can't do anything until the West gets back, I should go find him." 

_"I see. I would like to meet this Sesshomaru. May I?"_

Lucidity nodded. "I don't see why not. He's not the most pleasant, but I'd imagine he would be interested in meeting another Guardian." 

A small grin curved Thalia's lips. _"I can handle unpleasant. Do you know where he is?"_

"Probably with...oh...shit...." 

The grin disappeared, replaced with a wrinkle of concern. _"What is it?"_

"Oberon," Lucidity said. "Oberon doesn't know about the North."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! First chapter for April! I was tempted to post something totally out there for April Fool's, like a hiatus announcement, but...then I got lazy and didn't feel like it. So, instead, you all get a genuine chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

"Ses...sho...ma...ru...." 

The daiyoukai glanced over when his name was articulated with such care. Oberon sat upon a high root that twisted far above his head, staring down at him, one leg swinging freely back and forth while the other remained propped up. With an elbow resting against his knee and chin in his hand, no part of the Fae King carried the appearance of a self-proclaimed monarch. If it wasn't for his manner overall, he would be nothing more than a reminder of a particular uncouth hanyou. 

"That is what you said your name was, yes?" asked Oberon. "Or am I mispronouncing it?" 

Sesshomaru didn't reply, but peered back towards the horizon. On the far side of the First Tree, the maze opened up to the edge of the cliff and this was where he stood, watching the stars slowly dwindle and fade. The scent of dawn hung thick in the air, though the first traces of light had not arrived yet. The only light that had been seen was the strange apparition of the Guardians, rushing overhead and disappearing into the distance. It had happened so suddenly and vanished so quickly that he would have been inclined to believe he had imagined the whole thing, if he had been the sort to use any type of imagination, that is. And then the Fae King had commented that the meeting must be over, which meant that Lucidity would be arriving soon. And so, Sesshomaru waited.

And waited. And waited. 

"I shall assume, given your silence, that my pronunciation is correct," said Oberon. 

And now, with this waiting, Oberon was attempting to draw him into another discussion. Sesshomaru kept his back to him, confident in his own power to thwart any attack, and doubtful that one would be forthcoming in this setting. Had they met under different circumstances, however, Sesshomaru was certain that a battle would be inevitable; he was too...curious about the strength of a Fae, especially that of a monarch, and would see for himself if it was worth his while. 

"It won't be long now, I'm sure," Oberon continued. "You must have questions. You should ask before we are interrupted. I will answer what I can, or what I am willing. Or did you allow yourself to be brought out here for a different reason?" 

Once again, Sesshomaru looked over at Oberon. Yes, he had questions, few of which he would share, perhaps not even with Lucidity. However, he was in the company of one who had spent countless years with a Guardian-a true born Guardian-and he would be a fool not to attempt to collect information from such a source. And though he had Lucidity and did not believe that she would lie to him outright, there were times when he was doubtful that she was being completely forthcoming, withholding matters from him or omitting them entirely. 

"What do you know about the Princes of Death?" the daiyoukai finally asked. 

Oberon straightened, apparently surprised by the choice of topic. "The Princes?" he repeated. "Well, now, let me see. There are four of them, I believe, each varying in age. Unlike the Guardians, who were created together in the beginning, the Princes were created one-by-one, with the gulfs in-between their births spanning anywhere from a few millennia to millions of years. If memory serves, the last one is some little brat who crowned himself Morstua. He enjoys his games, that one." 

A familiar surge hatred burned through him at the mention of that name, a reaction Sesshomaru had little control over as he looked away from the Fae King and out towards the land that stretched out below them. And yet, with a fist clenched at his side, all he said was, "Games?" 

"Yes, games," Oberon replied. "Every so often, the Princes will wreak havoc on the planet. Sometimes together, pairing up, or sometimes on their own. What domain they're in, it will be the responsibility of that Guardian to put an end to it. She may enlist the help of her sisters if needed, but for the most part, they handle the Princes on their own and send them back to the Netherworld."

"Send them back?" 

"Oh, yes," said Oberon. "Guardians can tear a rift through the dimensions and lock the Princes into the lower recesses of the Netherworld. I've seen the Lady North do it once, to Morstua actually. It takes them centuries to crawl back out. My Lady North told me that she wishes she and her sisters could lock the Princes away permanently down there, but the Guardians can't cross over; or rather, they choose not to, as they have little power in that dark realm."

Sesshomaru frowned as a gust of wind tossed his hair and fur, and he paused, wondering, yet felt nothing but empty air. "Then how are the Princes able to command formidable power in this realm if the Guardians cannot do the same in Netherworld?" 

There was no immediate answer. If it hadn't been for the scent that continued to linger so close, he would have believed that Oberon had vanished, he'd become so quiet. But then Sesshomaru heard movement, followed by the sound of feet landing on the ground, and he glanced over to see the Fae King approaching him. "You have met a Prince of Death," Oberon declared, coming to stand beside him. 

"Morstua," Sesshomaru answered. 

In a show of exasperation, Oberon rolled his eyes and folded his arms, cloak billowing behind him in another rush of wind. "Ah, of course," he said with a slight curl in his lip. "I'm not surprised; he makes Puck look like an innocent child of a saint. But I'm afraid I don't know why they have power here. That question is better asked of a Guardian."

"Do you possess any knowledge of import?" the daiyoukai demanded, growing impatient. "Does the North tell you so little?" 

The Fae King blinked, brows rising, before he simply shrugged. "Why would she?" 

"She is your lover," Sesshomaru stated. 

"She is a Guardian," Oberon countered. "She has no reason to share her knowledge with any mortal. Why? Is that what you expect from your Lady East?" And when Sesshomaru did not reply, Oberon shook his head. "You shouldn't have such expectations. She may have been human in the beginning, but she is ultimately the daughter of the Mother Goddess. You will learn, I'm certain, as will she. I've long since accepted that my Titania will never truly be mine. I know she cares in her own way for me, but she belongs to the earth first. That is the way of it."

The way of it? The North belonged to the earth, was a Guardian first before she was anything else. Was it the same, then, for Lucidity? As it was the way for their lifespans to be greater than that of humans-a matter that Lucidity must accept-was this a matter that he, Sesshomaru, needed to accept, as well? 

"Do you believe your Lady East is too different?" Oberon continued in the wake of his silence. "She possesses the memories of the original Guardian, as the Lady North has told me. She knows their ways, knows what is expected of her. She has married you, I'm aware, but that does not mean she can turn her back on her duties. My Titania has always put hers before everything else. Do not be surprised when the one you have taken as a wife must do the same." 

The impulse to strike out at Oberon was quickly ignored as the daiyoukai forced himself to turn from him and make his way back towards the castle. "Your advice is unwanted, Fae," he murmured without looking back. "And you overstep."

If a response was forthcoming, he never knew. He had gone no more than a few paces when he felt a gathering of energy that had him spinning around, ready to voice his displeasure that she had taken so long to return. Yet what he saw kept him silent. A mist was accumulating in front of Oberon, who appeared bewildered, but far from alarmed. Frowning, Sesshomaru watched as the mist rose into a short pillar, thickened, and then solidified into the form of an unfamiliar woman with crimson hair, her green eyes narrowed at the daiyoukai.

"My Lady South," the Fae King spoke. "What are you doing here?"

The Guardian of the South did not answer, but kept her gaze on Sesshomaru as she lifted an arm and pointed at the castle. "Lucidity waits," she said, her accent heavy, her command of the language crude; however, he understood clearly that he was being summoned back to the massive dwelling of stone, and felt his irritation rise. Yet before he could respond, the South had turned towards the Fae King. "Oberon...."

And Sesshomaru understood nothing more from that point on. The words she spoke were utterly foreign and bore no resemblance to the language Lucidity had taught him or the varying dialects he had heard her use during their time together. He was aware that the Guardians had learned a vast number of languages, but this one he could not decipher, not a single word. The Fae King, however, had no trouble. His expression was ever shifting. First from an ever deepening confusion, then surprise, before a steady shadow of horror passed over his features. His arms loosened, to hang at his sides, and his lips slowly parted while the South continued on, her voice low, her gaze downcast, until Oberon suddenly closed his eyes and brought a hand to his face. A moment later, he'd dropped to his knees and what could be seen of his expression was pure and utter defeat before the South crouched down to wrap her arms around him.

What news had been delivered? Why did Lucidity not come to him? What had even brought them to this strange island?

His irritation had disappeared, leaving in its place the bitter taste of apprehension. Sesshomaru left the Fae King and Guardian among the roots of the First Tree and ventured back over the hedges of the maze, intent upon entering the castle. Yet when he reached the courtyard, he stopped at a sudden scent on the air. The lights of the castle continued to burn in their many windows as he peered up at the enormous structure, but it was single movement that caught his attention. At the top of a high tower, where a pair of doors opened out onto a balcony, the hangings of the doorway were fluttering outward, as if the castle itself was able to provide an unending current of wind.

* * *

Little had changed about the interior of the castle. The paths and architecture, at least, remained more or less the same. Vaulted ceilings, carvings, and bits of art worked into the stone. The same brackets were mounted on the walls, filled with burning torches; it seemed only the first few floors were without proper lighting. With every staircase she climbed, Lucidity found ever increasing signs of life. Less dust and cobwebs. Floors had been swept and clean carpet stretched across the stones. Decorations here had been tended to, from oil paintings to more armor that was not rusted or falling to pieces. There was even plant life, vases filled with flowers that chased away some of the stench of old dirt. It was the wing that held the family quarters that showed the most care, showed that people actually lived here.

Not anymore, Lucidity reminded herself. With the North gone, she doubted anyone would want to remain. Could a sanctuary even survive the loss of its Guardian? A question that could now be answered. Yet it was a question that should never have been answered to begin with. These thoughts and her surroundings were taken in with measured care as she wandered through the halls, never venturing into any of the rooms, and never having any clear destination in mind. She was simply...procrastinating. Thalia had left her not long ago, to search for Oberon and.... Well, Lucidity did not envy her in this horrible task, had not even gone with her, though she was certain that Sesshomaru could not be far from the King of the Faeries. She had every intention of telling Sesshomaru everything; she just didn't want to be bothered right now. Honestly, what difference would it make if she told him at all?

Lucidity dragged a hand roughly through her hair, eyes closed, and came to a stop. It really did not matter if Sesshomaru was ever informed or not. In the end, there wasn't a thing he could do that would be of any help. Not a damn thing. And yet he had to know, had to be dragged along, had to be obeyed and.... "Fucking asshole," she muttered, covering her eyes briefly, before shaking her head and peering around, only to stiffen when she realized where she was.

The ornately carved, silver handle on the door in front of her was unmistakable. As she stared at it, she couldn't help but wonder at what subconscious thought had led her to this spot. It had not been her intention to come to this part of the castle, yet here she was. She had no right, no place. It was not hers to claim. None of it was. And yet, regardless, she opened the door and stepped into the room. 

Like walking into a dream, it was, knowing what was there and yet surprised by what she found. The room and its contours were so very familiar, the walls circular and the ceiling lower than that in the halls. On the far side of the living space, a pair of doors were open, and a balcony was visible beyond the curtains, with a small set of three stairs separating the balcony from the rest of the area. Yes, the shape and layout were exactly the same, but everything else was different. Fresh rugs carpeted the floors, soft and white. A four-poster bed, complete with canopy and hangings that were currently tied out of the way, took up most of the space. There was a large chest at the foot of the bed and a dresser with a chair and small mirror across the way. Everything in here was an antique in her eyes; however, for the era, every last piece was up to date, perhaps even the latest fashion, right down to the oil lamps that hung from the ceiling and lit the room. It was all so...confusing. These were Satomi's chambers. Why would the North...?

Lucidity stopped when she noticed a scrap of parchment on the floor by the dresser and crouched down to retrieve it. As she straightened, her eyes skimmed over the words, and she began to walk slowly through the room with an ever-deepening frown. It was a list, in another language far removed from this region, but one the memories allowed her to read. Each piece of furniture in the room was on here, along with several more items that had yet to be acquired. With a cold rush of realization, she suddenly understood. Just as when Thalia had claimed the mantle of the South so many centuries ago, Mother had made her existence known to the other Guardians, and no different had been done with Lucidity. The North had been anticipating her visit and was preparing Satomi's old chambers for the new Guardian of the East. The North had intended to fill it with a desk and tomes, scrolls and writing implements, clothes and footwear, anything to make it as convenient and inviting as possible. She had...wanted to welcome Lucidity, in a way she had never done so with the South.

And the project was incomplete.

Such a small detail it was, but one that brought reality into sharp focus. Some of the items had been marked off the list, while many more remained untouched, and forever would be. And while she stared at this tiny bit of paper, a memory rose to the surface of Lucidity's mind, one that was hers, one that she had not recalled since before she left her home country.

The day of her father's accident.

She'd gone to his house after spending hours in the hospital, speaking to police and doctors, answering questions, contacting family. She'd been so drained, so disconnected, and it had seemed the most logical thing to do. Though looking back on it now, there had been absolutely no logic to the decision. His house was where she had grown up; it was home to her and home was supposed to have the answers, to bring comfort. Of course, there had been no answers when she stepped through the door, and certainly no comfort. Nothing but emptiness had greeted her, with a cruel silence to accompany it. There was old mail on the kitchen counters; a pot of cold coffee he'd forgotten to pour out that morning; dirty dishes scattered across the living room, with newspapers that littered the coffee table, covering coasters, remotes, a controller for a game console. And, worst of all, there was a slow cooker keeping warm the roast that he would eat for the rest of the week. She remembered thinking that the food had to be packed up, because he wouldn't need it that day. She'd put it in the fridge, for when he came home. And yet...the moment she had pressed the button that turned off the slow cooker, the full impact of the situation struck her, the reality she was suddenly faced with and the utter finality that life would never be the same. Shutting off the machine had shattered her world. 

Lucidity didn't remember dropping the parchment or when she leaned against one of the bedposts. She wasn't certain when her breathing began to quicken or the flames of the oil lamps started to dance under the wind that was howling around her. It whistled in her ears, lifted her hair and robes, rattled the hangings of the bed and threatened to dislodge the blankets that had been so carefully tucked into place. A hand came to her chest and the heartbeat she felt couldn't possibly be hers, so erratic that it hummed beneath her fingers. She took a deep breath, once, twice, over and over as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes.

A mistake, one she realized too late as the memories burned through her mind, flashes that came so fast she could barely pick one from another. And her pulse continued to race, as if it was the very fuel that filled her head with unwanted images, words and scents and experiences that were not her own. So deep she had delved this day, deeper than she had in months, remembering what was not hers to remember, communicating in a language that no human could ever comprehend. And she could see the North, hear her voice, feel the touch of her hand, the warmth of a sister's embrace, a shared laughter, and then a desperate plea, the open weeping of a loss she didn't want to suffer, when she begged the East not to take the same path as the South.

Something echoed in her ears. Distant, hardly more than a whisper. Was someone trapped? The sound was so muffled. Again, it came. Sharper this time. Was it shouting? And again, she heard the noise. Yes, yes, that was a voice. What was it saying? Was it a man or woman speaking? She couldn't tell. Nothing else was said. But something was touching her. Arm. Shoulder. Face. She became aware of each part of her body in turn as the hurricane that was her mind finally began to subside. If the person would just speak one more time....

The slap across the face brought Lucidity back into sharp awareness and she heard herself cry out in surprise, felt her body stagger against the bedpost. She managed to catch herself before she fell onto the bed and, upon finding her feet, jerked her head up to see the daiyoukai standing there. Ever impassive, his expression was, that haughty gaze searching what was before him, deciphering each nuance that she, somehow, was never aware of in time. He said nothing; they were both aware of why it was necessary for him to give such a shock to her system, and the reason he chose no other option but brute force. And yet the way he watched her, scrutinized her, she knew what was coming, knew he would not offer anything of worth.

"What happened?" Sesshomaru asked, but there was nothing in his tone that suggested he was making a request. And when she did not respond, his eyes predictably narrowed. "Answer me, woman."

Lucidity swallowed around the thickness in her throat, heard the heartbeat in her ears, felt the constriction in her chest, the sensation sickening and painful all at once. "...get out," she whispered.

He blinked, which was the extent of his surprise, and then frowned, stepping closer. "I will not be ordered from here. Tell me what-" 

"Out! Out! OUT! GET OUT!" Her voice tore from her before she even understood what she was screaming. "You goddamn son of a bitch! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

And still, it wasn't enough, when he did nothing more than stop short to stare at her. She never touched him, never laid a hand on him, but her power unraveled like a heavy whip and backhanded him into the dresser. It broke apart on impact like so much glass being shattered and he collapsed into the remains. Bits of wood and shards of the mirror rained down on the daiyoukai from where he lay in the wreckage. And yet he merely shook his head as he sat up, brushing the mess from his hair and peering up at her, as if being knocked down was a terrible inconvenience. She stood over him, fists at her sides, face hot and the taste of salt water in her mouth.

"I want you gone from here, do you understand?!" she shouted, clinging to this rage that made everything so much easier. "I want you out of this castle. I want you off this island. You have no business being here! This isn't your world, this isn't your fight. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference if you know what's going on or not. You are completely fucking useless!" 

He never said a word, merely rose to his feet. A few more pieces of woods tumbled over one another to clatter onto the floor. Slivers and shards fell from his kimono in a shimmering shower as he gazed down at her, the lines of his face so smooth and perfect and cold. And it nearly undid her.

"Leave!" she hissed, her voice growing rough, breathless. "Leave now! You have my hair, so go back to where you belong, or I swear on his grave I will banish you entirely!"

His eyes flashed at the threat. Was he alarmed? Angry? She couldn't be certain, and didn't care, because he was already walking away. His pace was slow, ever measured, and the sound of his footsteps echoed through the air as he crossed the room, heading straight for the balcony. Lucidity didn't need to witness his departure, didn't want to, and turned her back on the sight of that mokomoko swaying behind him. It was inevitable. Long before he had declared that they had reached an impasse, before he'd demanded that she decide if she was his wife or the Guardian, she knew a separation was bound to happen. This dance of theirs had to end, the cycle had to be broken. And with an utter finality, the sound of the balcony doors closing rang in her ears, and yet kept ringing and ringing. She gritted her teeth, stomach churning, and wrapped an arm around the post of the bed, as the feeling threatened to drain from her legs and the floor tilted beneath her. It would be a relief to faint, to lose consciousness, to forget everything, to not care about anything! Such a relief...if it could all come to a stop.

An arm wrapped around her waist. 

Lucidity let out a gasp that was loud, strangled, as she felt the warmth that pressed against her from behind. Her hand flew to that striped wrist and her fingers scratched over the silk of the billowing sleeve of his haori, trying to find a hold. His mouth was above her ear, his breath rolling over her cheek, and she twisted her head away, attempted to pull free, only to discover just how fierce his grip was. And, with a shout of frustration, she began to struggle, digging for the strength she knew was there, a strength that was greater than his, that could break his hold, his goddamn arm if she wanted! But she was so...burnt out, so weary and overwhelmed that she wanted to do nothing more than collapse on the spot. 

"Dammit," she groaned, fingers digging at his hand. "Fucking let me go! I told you to leave. I-" 

"No," he murmured, and he was right there, closer than he had been in weeks, his voice resonating right down to her core. "I will not."  

"I don't want you here!" 

"I'm not leaving," he said, and his other arm slid across her midriff, pulling her tighter against him. "A mistake I made once before, and I will not make it again."

So indifferent, he was, to the pain he could inflict. So cruel he could be with the things he said, the actions he took. Such a cold, heartless bastard he was! A bastard who knew exactly what she needed in this moment and she could not stop herself from crumbling in the wake of it. She buried her face in her hands, drew in a deep, rattling breath, and released it with a gut-wrenching sob. And once she started, she could not stop. Any hope of control was destroyed the second he'd touched her. And now she collapsed. Not into his arms, but to the floor, her legs refusing to support her weight.

Yet he did. With his arms still around her waist, he lowered them both to the rug and brought her onto his lap. She knew this only because she was suddenly resting in the fur of his mokomoko. And yet the thought of his seeing her like this had her recoiling. Face still covered by her hands, she leaned forward, drawing her knees up, until she felt like a small child, curled up against his chest, head tucked beneath his chin, body wracked with sobs. She was weeping so hard she could barely draw breath, let alone speak.

But he made no demands for her to explain herself, to stop the foolishness of her tears. He did nothing but sit there in silence, one arm around her and a hand buried in her hair, holding her head to his chest. And this only made it worse, his quiet patience, his willingness to give when she was the one who had been cruel, when she attacked him because he was the easiest target...the only target. She may have been angry with him, but he had not been deserving of the assault, and the realization tore away at her, added to the guilt that was already burning her from the inside out, until a low keen rose from her throat, one that was silenced too late with a bite to her knuckle.

"Lucidity?" came the soft rumble of her name, and she groaned in return, rolling away from the daiyoukai and burying her face into his mokomoko.

"What have I done?" she gasped against the fur, her frame trembling, the tears never stopping. "Sesshomaru...what have I done?"

"Nothing to warrant this," he answered, and she felt the touch of his claws in her hair, drawing the strands from her wet cheek.

"No...no, you don't understand," she said, keeping her face turned from him. "It's my fault.... She's dead...the North is dead and it's my fault!"

And the moment the words were out of her mouth, it was real...irrefutably real. The moment she said it aloud, it became the truth. There was nothing anyone could say or do to change that fact. And as she realized this, Lucidity's voice caught in her throat and she succumbed once more. She admitted defeat in a way she hadn't done since her father had died-since she had _let_ him die-and cried with abandonment into the fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I feel like cuddling with my puppies and eating some rocky road ice cream after writing this chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

The air smelled of oil and salt and the warmth of early morning. The lamps had gone out under the torrent of wind that had clashed throughout the room. It was quiet now, and had been for some time. Only the distant calls of birds remained to battle the silence as the light of dawn crept across the balcony and through the glass of the doors that had been shut for some semblance of privacy. Sesshomaru had watched the slow progression of night giving way to day with Lucidity curled up in the curve of his arm, the mokomoko gathered beneath her. The weight of her was a strange thing, so long it had been. It was...regretful that circumstances could not have been different. Weeks it had been since he'd touched her, a full cycle of the moon come and gone, and now she lay with her back to him, unwilling or unable to look at him, lost as she was in her stupor, or so he could only assume. 

She'd grown quiet not long prior to the sun rising, while he continued to dwell on what had transpired. He'd seen her tears before, endured the brunt of her temper before, but never had he witnessed her collapse under the strain of emotions until today. The night she'd put her foot through the fire had been the only other time that came close to what had happened here, and even then she had been quick to calm. He'd felt the drench of her tears in the mokomoko long before she'd been able to stop, felt the quivering of her body echo through his, and could not understand what could bring her so low, cause her to show such weakness.

Regardless of what she had told him, he couldn't see the logic in her reasoning. A Guardian dead? Her fault? How was it possible? His immediate thought turned towards the Princes of Death. Were they the only beings capable of slaying a Guardian? Or had it been another force? And yet, what else could Lucidity be tied to that would make her believe such a thing? Or was it a matter that dealt with the Guardian of the East and not the woman at all? Sesshomaru could merely fathom and had been tempted to ask for a more thorough explanation. More than once, he had been on the verge of speaking, only to keep his silence in the end. Not a word had passed between them since she told him about the Guardian of the North and by now he saw no reason to say anything until she was inclined to talk. How long that would be, he didn't know, nor did he care. He was willing to sit here on the floor, his back against the trunk at the base of the bed, and wait for her to break the silence.

However, to his irritation, she was not the one to do so, and neither was he. 

No footsteps were heard, no presence felt, but the door to the chambers came open nonetheless. In its frame stood the red-haired woman from earlier, the Guardian of the South who had taken Oberon aside to deliver what the daiyoukai knew, now, was the news of the North's passing. She stared, her gaze shifting between him and Lucidity and back again, a slight twist to her mouth that suggested she was annoyed. She was not alone in that regard, as he had no wish for any interruptions, not even from another Guardian. Yet he said nothing as the South entered the room. 

"I here speak Lucidity," she uttered, coming to stand in front of them.

His lip curled at the broken speech. "My permission is not necessary." 

She frowned at him. "I know. I can't." 

"Can't?" he repeated. 

The South made a gesture towards Lucidity. "Can't," she said again. "She...she...." And suddenly, the woman let out a sharp exhale of breath, looking away and muttering in an unfamiliar tongue, seemingly frustrated she was unable to make herself better understood. When she peered back at him, she spoke once more, but he could not understand the foreign words. He watched her as she lapsed into silence, the corners of his mouth pulling down, and she soon tried again. Different words, a different language. And when that brought about no comprehension, she considered him for a moment, glanced at Lucidity, and made a third attempt. "[Do you know this language?]"

"[Yes,]" he replied, and her shoulders sagged with relief. 

"[This is Lucidity's native tongue? She taught you?]" 

"[It is,]" he said. "[What do you want?]"

"[I already told you: I wanted to speak with her.]" And here, the South let out a sigh and folded her arms. "[But I can see she has fallen asleep. When will she wake? One day? Two?]"

It was Sesshomaru's turn to frown. "[You are mistaken; she has already slept this season.]" 

The reaction from the Guardian was intriguing, her blatant surprise and arms dropping to her sides as she stepped closer, going so far as to kneel beside him upon the rug, her focus solely on Lucidity. But when she began to reach out, Sesshomaru was quick to close a hand over her wrist and she jerked her head up with a reproachful glare. 

"[I'm not going to harm her,]" said the South. 

"[You are unknown to me,]" he said. "[I will not have you touching her.]" 

The South pulled herself free and settled back on her heels, a hard anger etched across her face. "[Have it your way, Protector, but you can see for yourself that she does, indeed, sleep. If what you say is true, that she has already had her seasonal slumber, then this is quite odd.]" 

Sesshomaru held that green gaze for a bit longer, and then finally peered down at the one laying so serenely in his arms. Taking hold of her shoulder, he carefully rolled her onto her back. She never stirred, but remained perfectly still in the fur of the mokomoko, eyes closed and the barest trace of her lips parting. Her arm lay across her stomach, which rose and fell in the familiar cadence of steady breathing, deep and even and unmistakably asleep. He'd believed that she had chosen to ignore them, not...this. How was it possible? She was not injured; she did not need to recuperate. With a tension rising inside him, he brushed a hand over her cheek, tilting her head towards him, and leaned closer, her name on the tip of his tongue. 

"[She deserves her rest; leave her be,]" declared the South, and he glanced up with another frown. "[As I said: this is unusual, but not unheard of. The same has occurred for me, when I have been too overwrought. It is exceedingly rare, but we are experiencing a difficult time. She explained to you, about the North?]" 

"[She made mention, but gave no explanation,]" he said, feeling the tension ease. "[How-]"

"[We don't know how. We have our suspicions, but must investigate further. This is new territory for us; we aren't certain what will happen from this point on.]" 

Something twisted low in his gut and a sour taste rose in the back of his throat as he peered back down at Lucidity. "[You know nothing?]"

"[Only that we are all in danger. And if we can't be unified, I fear the outcome. The Guardian of the West is most upset about this. I am doubtful she is willing to accept Lucidity, and it is pivotal that she does. We are weakened. With the North gone, we are without focus, without a leader, and....]"

"[Survival is questionable against the Princes of Death,]" he said, looking at the South once more. 

"[Indeed,]" she murmured, "[as it never has been before.]"

"[Why does Lucidity believe she is the cause for the death of the northern Guardian?]" Sesshomaru asked, and the abruptness of the question appeared to surprise the South, who stared at him and, for the first time, displayed a sense of nervousness as she shifted on the rug, then immediately stilled. 

"[That is a question better asked of Lucidity,]" she replied. 

"[I've been waiting long enough; I would have the answer now.]" 

"[At least be honest, Protector, and admit that you do not want to cause further distress for her when she has clearly been worn down by the morning's events,]" the South immediately countered. 

"[Interpret my reasons as you wish, but tell me what I want to know.]" 

Green eyes narrowed at him. "[I see that she was being polite in describing you as 'unpleasant.']"

He let out a soft snort and settled back against the bed once more, with Lucidity still in his arms, resting deeply in spite of the hushed argument taking place next to her. "[You are welcome to leave if you have no intention of answering.]"

"[We believe that the North's murder was in retaliation to what Lucidity did to Morstua.]"

Sesshomaru peered sharply around at her. The Guardian of the South knelt there with her hands folded in her lap, posture straight and rigid. And when she spoke, a haughty arrogance seeped from every syllable of her words and every contour of her body, revealing nothing of the fear she claimed to feel. He listened while she shared what had taken place in the underground chamber, from their speculation about what had been done to the North to the brief scuffle with the West. Rules of war broken? A leader lost? An alliance shattered?

"[I do not think for a moment that Lucidity meant for this outcome,]" the South continued. "[But she took a risk in making Morstua her prisoner and we can only conclude that these are the results of her choices.]"

"[She believed Morstua's brothers would seek revenge on her alone,]" said Sesshomaru. "[She warned of it, the day she sealed him away.]"

"[Yes, and that has always been their way,]" said the South. "[They have obviously changed tactics. This is a new game, with new rules, that we must learn. I can only hope we are not slow to adapt.]"

"[You call a war between life and death a game, one that even you may not survive?]" snapped the daiyoukai, growing tired of hearing the comparison. He loathed this, the uncertainty, the doubt, of knowing that in this struggle against the Princes, he would be of little use, just as Lucidity had proclaimed him to be. And when a smile crept its way along the South's face, mocking in its amusement, he felt a scowl twist his own mouth.

"[When you have been alive for as long as we have,]" she began, "[life takes on a different meaning. It is easy for it to become a game, one century bleeding into another until you have become so ancient that you cannot remember how it all came to be. Even half-breeds like myself and your precious Lucidity will eventually reach a point where we can do little more than exist and react to what surrounds us. Our Protectors were so named to save us from ourselves. Mine was mortal, same as you, and though she was Fae and capable of living for centuries, she died the same as any human in the end: succumbing to old age. Such will be your fate if you are not taken prematurely, while the Guardian is left behind, with every day, every moment being a struggle. It can be a cruel existence. If I live through this war, so be it. If I die, I can only hope that what I leave behind is kept safe. And it would please me for Lucidity to survive, as well. I may have just met her, but she is full of life and it would be a sad loss to this world.]"

Sesshomaru...did not care for the turn this conversation had taken and found himself relieved when the South rose to her feet, smoothing out her garments and offering a small smile that reflected nothing of what had just been said. And when those green eyes flicked to Lucidity, he suddenly became all the more aware of the weight of her across his lap, the soft echo of her breath reaching his ears, the scent of her skin surrounding him, and drew her closer, hardly an inch or so. Yet the South noticed and the smile widened.

"[Do not be so possessive of her,]" she said. ["Until our Mother is able to birth a new Guardian of the North, we need the East, more than any other.]"

"[What is your meaning]" 

"[We have our chain of command, the same as any mortal army,]" explained the South. "[The North was our leader. With her gone, we must defer to the second-in-command.]"

"[And your second-in command is-]"

"[Is the one you covet in your arms.]"

* * *

Who was she? The woman or the Guardian? It was...unreasonable to make her choose. And yet he had attempted to do just that, because it was what custom dictated, for a woman to fulfill her duties as a wife first before anything else. But such a life was not possible with the one he had chosen, a reality he should have come to accept long before now. He faulted Inuyasha and the others for not understanding, for having no true respect for the mantle of the Guardian, when he, Sesshomaru, was guilty of the very same. How did he not realize this sooner?

Anger was an emotion he was not unfamiliar with. Anger at enemies for eluding him. Anger at Inuyasha for his boisterous manner. Anger at Lucidity for her stubbornness. Yet anger at himself? A relatively new experience, and one that was not so easily resolved. What he had learned this day, what he was coming to understand, was that he, in fact, understood very little. He knew nothing of the Guardians. Their purpose in this world, perhaps, but not their ways, not their customs. What he'd believed had been based solely on the actions of Satomi. It was only now that he realized just how peculiar she must have been in the eyes of the other Guardians.

How strange, then, was Lucidity to them? How mistrusting were they of her, the one who was expected...to lead these daughters of a goddess? If a truce could not be reached....

Sesshomaru closed his eyes as his claws scraped along the railing of the balcony, where his hands rested. It was speculation, this potential outcome, and it would not do well to dwell over what could not be determined for the time being. He recalled how Lucidity's advice had helped resolve the long-standing blood feud with the Viper Clan; she was not without her talents in matters of strategy, and that was before she had gained the memories. What would she be able to draw from her predecessor? A second-in-command, and the one who would be leader. What was it Lucidity had said the night of the festival? That she was no leader, just a cold, heartless bitch. He no more believed that now than he did then.

A noise rose from inside the chambers. He opened his eyes and peered out at the sun-drenched island of Avalon before turning around and striding towards the double doors, and spotted the first movements coming from the bed. By the time he stepped inside, Lucidity had pushed herself up, holding her head in one hand and looking around in exhausted confusion. Her gaze came to rest on him, but when he moved down the steps, giving her an unobstructed view of the balcony beyond, she let out a sudden groan and turned her head away, eyes squeezed shut and a hand lifted to block out the light of the sun. She was cursing softly as he came closer and, with a swipe of his claws, cut the cords that tied the hangings back, so that he might draw them shut.

"Sesshomaru?" he heard her mutter. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep," he told her as he walked around to stand on the other side of the bed, where he saw that she had pulled her knees up and had laid her forehead against them, hands pressed to her temples. "Lucidity?"

"My head...fucking hurts," she grumbled as she straightened and peered up at him, a tension around her eyes betraying the discomfort she spoke of. "I fell asleep? I don't understand. How?"

He repeated what the Guardian of the South had advised, and then added, "Does this not happen with any of the other Guardians?"

"No, it.... I suppose, since we're half-breeds, we will be different in both mind and body from the others." A sigh escaped her and she laid her head back down on her knees, face turned to him. "The South was here?"

"Hours ago," he answered. "You've been asleep for most of the morning."

"No wonder I feel like shit.... What did she want?"

"To speak with you. About what, she did not say." He moved closer to the bed, the covers, pillows, and woman all cast in shadow. "She informed me of what took place in the meeting."

Lucidity closed her eyes. "Of everything?" she asked, and when he confirmed her apparent fears, she immediately hid her face in her knees once more, hands pushing into her hair. The scent of salt water soon filled the air as her shoulders began to shake. Yet when he reached out, his claws barely tracing over the strands of yellow, she drew from his touch and knocked his hand away with a fist, still managing to keep her face out of sight. "Leave...leave me alone," came the strained whisper. 

"This behavior is childish," he said. But when his disapproval was met with nothing but a fresh attempt to recoil from him, his patience dwindled rapidly and his hand shot out, fingers closing over her wrist and yanking her out of the bed. He heard her gasp of alarm, felt her stumble against him as she tried to find her footing, and he caught her by the other wrist, holding her upright and glaring down at her. "Enough! You are not weak, woman, so you will stop acting this way and return to your duties as Guardian." 

"Why the hell would you care about that?!" she snapped, and yet in spite of the venom in her voice, she made no attempt to free herself. She stood there with steady tears wetting her face, eyes bright with an odd mixture of fury and despair, as though she swayed from one to the other. "You're the one who can't handle a Guardian as a wife," she continued. "You would prefer it if I was weak. It's the only way you'd be in complete control of our lives, in control of me. That's what you want, isn't it?" 

"It was," he said, and his candid response managed to douse the heat of her anger. She stared at him in a mute shock of parted lips and flushed cheeks, the stress of emotions still bringing fresh tears. "Being in control of you would mean you belong to this Sesshomaru completely. I see, now, that such an idea is an illusion. You cannot be mine and a Guardian."

"What...." The word came out as little more than a grunt and Lucidity had to swallow before making a second attempt. "What are you saying?"

He started to answer, perhaps assuage what concerns might be churning through her head, but the words never made it past his lips. The presence that made itself known in the castle was as abrupt as it was powerful, enough to break his train of thought and he peered sharply over at the entrance of the chambers. It was only when Lucidity pulled herself free that he realized his grip had slackened in his distraction. He watched as she hurried over to the door and wrenched it open, only to suddenly pause and glance back at him. There was hesitation in her gaze. She was...indecisive, peering down the hall, then back at him, and he noticed the movement in her throat as she swallowed once more. Did she understand, then, his meaning? He could only fathom any conclusions she may have drawn as she finally made a choice and quickly left. 

He could hear the rapid pace of her footsteps echoing down the hall, until the noise stopped unexpectedly when she let out a gasp. And he was immediately out the door. He caught a glimpse of Lucidity in the distance and another woman standing before her. Small, black-haired, and trembling with visible rage. Not a word was being spoken, and yet there were obvious gestures of an animated conversation, shifts of facial expression. Lucidity was holding her hands out, imploringly it seemed, and the other woman shook her head, and then suddenly let out a cry of fury and lunged forward.

The two women disappeared before Sesshomaru could so much as take a step. A mirage of heat filled the hall that fed the torches burning in their brackets, raising the flames so high that they licked the ceiling, until a torrent of wind stole the very air from the fire and left nothing but smoke in its wake. The two forces clashed-felt, but unseen-racing through what limited space there was, before an outlet was found, through the very door he stood next to. He was tossed aside, no more than an obstruction that impeded their progress, and heard the shatter of the balcony doors by the time he found his feet and sprinted after them.

The daiyoukai could do nothing. In their true forms, the Guardians eluded him, were beyond his reach. He could do naught but stand there on the balcony, trying to focus on where they were, follow the flow of their fight. Had it been only the West-for the black-haired woman could be no other-he would have attempted to bring a stop to her, however temporary it would be, with Bakusaiga. Yet he would not risk Lucidity. Was this not her battle, though? Were the Guardians not her responsibility from this point on?

And there they were, the South appearing on foot on the grounds below, running from the direction of the First Tree, while the three without form seemed to burst from the very air, swirling in a maddening cacophony of colors and power, encircling the forces that were the East and West. Then, in an explosion that shook the earth and caused loose stones of the castle to rain down, the figure of the black-haired woman solidified once more, floating above, perhaps trapped by the three who continued to dance around her. But it was the other form that had the daiyoukai leaping off the balcony, seeing that long, yellow hair whipping about her as she fell, unconscious, towards the ground.

However, it was the South who caught Lucidity, reaching her moments before he did. He landed beside the women as the South knelt and laid Lucidity upon the grass. No injuries were visible, not so much as a bruise, and she was already beginning to stir. Soft groans escaped her as she rolled her head, eyes fluttering, then flashing with pain before closing, and he felt a fist clench at his side, as his other closed over the hilt of Bakusaiga.

"[You idiot! What do you think you're doing?!"]

The shrieking voice of the South followed Sesshomaru as he rose into the air, his attention fixed on the West, who had been focused on the three formless Guardians. Yet now she turned her dark, burning gaze onto him and a sneer played along her lips, which soon deepened into a mangled expression of fury when he unleashed a volley of Bakusaiga's power. Blood sprayed through the air as the energy tore through her body and she let out a scream, the same sound she had made prior to attacking Lucidity. Save this time, it was the daiyoukai she was after as she surged forward, paying no mind to her wounds and disappearing in a wave of heat. And again, Bakusaiga's power found her, incorporeal though she was, forcing her to retreat.

This repeated. Over and over, with no interference from the others. Yet there was shouting down below. Lucidity's voice, calling out, ordering him to stop. But she made no attempt to enforce her commands, while the fight pressed on, while the temperature around him rose, and his vision became obscured and the air grew too heavy to breathe, an agonizing reminder of how Lucidity was capable of stealing the breath from the body itself. And when he attempted to descend, to escape the pressure slowly crushing his lungs, the aura of the Guardian rushed at him from all sides. Fire erupted, encasing his frame, and he raised Bakusaiga once more as he caught the scent of burnt hair and silk. And though he was able to extinguish the flames in a single stroke, he felt a pain that tore across his back, penetrated his body, and he could suddenly taste blood in the back of his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hoping to have this out by Sunday. That's life for you! I'm not as far along in the coming chapters as I'd like to be, but I wanted to give you guys something to read. So, now you have some new plot points and a cliffhanger!


	14. Chapter 14

"What is it with you and being stabbed from behind?! First the blackness, now this. I hope you realize how lucky you are that she didn't kill you on the spot."

"I will make no apologies, woman."

"You never apologize for anything! So, that statement is a bit moot, don't you think? Honestly, Sesshomaru! You realize it's impossible for Guardians to kill each other? All of us are on equal footing. It's not as if you were saving me from anything."

"Then why did you lose consciousness?"

"That's not the point! You had no business getting involved! I never should have brought you here. If I could, I'd send you home, knock your ass straight back through Sagashite."

Sesshomaru scowled and started to push himself up. Yet not even the stoic youkai lord could hide the pain of what the West had done to him, and the color draining from his face, the grit of his teeth, were lingering reminders of her power that continued to flow through his body. Lucidity, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed, shoved him back down into the blankets with little effort on her part and they glared at one another for several long, tense seconds before he let out a sharp exhale and turned his head away, closing his eyes.

Sweat was gathered along his forehead and trickling down the side of his face, glistening over the skin of his neck and bare torso, which heaved with every labored breath he took. He was stripped from the waist up, the mokomoko stretched out along the bed around him. The gaping wound in his chest, where the West had plunged her arm straight through, was an ugly sight. The blood had been cleaned away, but the ring of exposed tissue had a sickly, yellow cast and was frothing along the edges, bubbling outward to stain the skin. A putrid stench would have been fitting for how horrible it was to look at, but it was a small blessing that the wound was completely odorless. Of course, that did not mean that Sesshomaru was any less happy about his condition.

"What manner of poison did that Guardian infect me with?" he growled when Lucidity, once again, dragged the wet cloth she'd been using over the wound.

"Sulfur, or something based in it, I would say," she answered as she dipped the cloth back into the bowl of water, which had slowly taken on a yellow tint since she had started tending to him; there was another cloth beneath him that would need to be changed soon.

"Sulfur?" he repeated

"A natural element, and often found in volcanoes, which the West has always favored. She weaponized it early on," Lucidity explained. "It can be a slow death for many, or instant, depending on where she strikes. You would have dropped dead if she'd hit your heart."

"A strike to the heart would be fatal regardless of who deals the blow," said Sesshomaru, his eyes still shut and a deep wrinkle in his brow. "This is not, then, judging by your lack of panic?"

"Considering the poison is slowly eating its way through your veins and burning out your blood, it actually is, whether you are youkai or not."

His eyes snapped open and she could have smiled at the alarm that broke through his expression, if matters between them were not so...unresolved. With the bowl of water on her lap, she carefully wrung out the cloth and laid it over his chest as the wound began to seep again, more profusely now than when she had brought him up to Satomi's chambers less than an hour ago. She gently eased her hand over marred flesh, letting the ragged material of the cloth soak in the foreign liquid, and could feel the pulse beneath her fingers, the heartbeat that was a little faster than normal. She could not help but recall when he'd been infected by the blackness and was grateful he was conscious this time, even though that meant he had to endure quite a bit of pain.

"The South, Thalia, has the antidote," she told him and saw his brows quickly contract. "Hence my lack of panic, and hence why the West had no true intent to kill you. Make you suffer, yes, but she knew this would not kill you while the South is here."

"And why do you not have the antidote?" he demanded. "Why prolong this?"

Lucidity sighed. "Let me rephrase: The South _is_ the antidote. Her magic, however she is able to counter the effects of the West's poison, is the cure. A human would be bedridden for a month. For you...maybe a few days. So, do me a favor, and take that time to rest. Perhaps reflect on the stupidity of your actions? I'm going to find Thalia, see if she has managed to escort the West through Sagashite yet."

And Lucidity started to stand, her hand slipping from his chest, when he seized her wrist without warning. The movement was so abrupt and his grip so strong-stronger than she expected, given his condition-that she jumped and sent the bowl tumbling from her lap, where it clattered onto the floor. Her heart seemed to fall right along with it, right into the pit of her stomach. He never said a word as she stared down at him; he merely fixed her with that unwavering, golden gaze, which soon slid over to the hand caught in his grasp. Too mesmerized to budge or speak, she sat there, feeling his thumb trace over the raised scars on her palm, before he unexpectedly laced their fingers together and pressed his scar against hers. Mother's mark, a physical reminder that would never fade, never...give them an ounce of peace when separated.

The swell of emotion that gripped her suddenly made it difficult to breathe. Her throat tightened in a sensation that had become too familiar as of late, but she could no more help it than she could ignore the sting in her eyes, how her vision began to glaze over when he looked back at her. She couldn't meet his gaze, not if she wanted to hang on to that last thread of control. If he said her name, if he so much as squeezed her hand, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She knew...just knew she would be helpless, knew she would go to him and force herself to forget the last several weeks, beg him to forget it with her, beg him to make everything right again. And then she stiffened when she saw his other arm rise. Through the haze of tears that threatened to fall, she saw him reach for her, fingers outstretched.

The chamber door swung open.

And Lucidity was on her feet, pulling herself free and blinking rapidly until the fog in her vision cleared and she was able to see Thalia entering the room. She was not alone, however, as the other three Guardians swept in after her and filled the space with their soft light. 

"[The West has gone home,]" Thalia announced. "[And she is adamant that she will not return to us.]" 

"[Even if the Princes attack?]" asked Lucidity. 

Thalia shook her head. "[I do not believe so.]" 

"[If it comes to war, she will need to see reason.]" 

"[I agree. For now, though, we should leave her be. No good will come from bombarding her with tensions so high; she will only attack us again. Speaking of which, how is Sesshomaru doing?]" Thalia added as she stepped over pieces of the broken dresser still scattered about and moved closer to the bed.

In the short span of their conversation, the daiyoukai in question had managed to sit upright and remove the cloth from his chest, along with the one on his back. Both had been tossed to the floor and Thalia kicked these and the forgotten bowl aside as she peered down at him, considering the wound from a short, albeit safer distance, before letting out a soft hum. 

"[A simple fix,]" she said, and suddenly lowered herself onto the bed. "[If you would lay back down, Sesshomaru.]" 

"[That won't be necessary,]" was the predictable, stubborn reply that did not phase Thalia in the slightest. 

"[If that is what you would prefer, but I will let you fall where you may if you pass out,]" she said as she brought a hand to his wound.

There was something decidedly...aggravating in seeing Sesshomaru being touched by her. Not that Lucidity didn't trust Thalia to remain professional, but just bearing witness to another woman with a hand on the daiyoukai's chest, shifting closer to him while he was shirtless, on a bed and.... And now she was leaning down, her mouth hovering an inch or so over the wound, and something hot uncoiled itself in Lucidity's stomach. This was stupid. This was petty! There was no need for any anger or.... Gods be damned! There was no need for jealousy. And yet her hands clenched as she moved away, trying to find something else to focus on, hardly aware of the bits of wood near her feet. But the wisps of a blue, hazy mist that flowed from Thalia's parted lips drew her attention, and she watched its progress as it entered the dripping wound. And she suddenly found herself caught up with the steady of rhythm of Sesshomaru's chest while he breathed, the stray lock of hair that had fallen over his shoulder to hang so near the injury. She noticed his hand tighten briefly on the coverlet and looked up at his face, curious if the procedure was somehow painful, but received a slight shock, instead, to find him watching her over Thalia's head. 

_"Sister."_

Lucidity nearly jumped at the unexpected greeting from the incorporeal Guardians. She peered around at their drifting forms that illuminated every crevice of the room and felt their touch as they surrounded her. _"What is it?"_

 _"Inconvenienced though we are by our Sister West, we must remain vigilant,"_ they said. _"We still have responsibilities to this world and our Mother, domains to protect; we cannot be distracted at this time. The best course of action must be considered. What are your orders?"_

_"Orders?"_

_"Yes, orders,"_ the three repeated, and there was in impatience in the air. _"What would you have us do now?"_

 _"I...uh...I'm not sure. Maybe...."_ So put on the spot, Lucidity was drawing an absolute blank. The three waded around her and she felt goose bumps rise each time their aura brushed over her skin, making it all the more difficult to focus. On reflex, she found herself glancing over at Sesshomaru, knowing that he would probably have no answers even if he was aware of the conversation taking place. His eyes met hers with such a familiar intensity, and she realized he had never looked away, even when she had. He was watching her with an unwavering concentration that had her heart doing a tap dance against her ribs as she wondered about the thoughts behind that molten gaze. And then she felt a bristle of irritation from the three Guardians and shook herself out of the trance. _"I don't...I don't know,"_ she finally admitted. 

 _"You can think of no solutions?"_  they demanded. 

 _"The Princes are our only lead and you said there was no trace of them at the site,"_ Lucidity replied. 

 _"A trace of the Netherworld, but nothing powerful enough to suggest a Prince was present,"_ corrected the three. 

 _"Then search!"_ she snapped. _"Something still could have killed the North on their orders, yes? So search the world over. Find out if they have come topside recently. Look for any rips in the dimensions. Do what you can to locate a Prince and imprison him for questioning."_

There was no immediate response. The three rose and fell, as if deeply considering the wisdom of her instructions, their colors ever shifting, moving into hues not unlike those found in a sunset. A hushed conversation drifted from the bed where Thalia continued to battle the West's power with her own, Sesshomaru still upright and very much conscious. He was asking if something was happening and Thalia was gracious enough to explain the conversation. And though Lucidity tried to maintain her focus on the three, her ear was tied to their voices, listening to minute changes of pitch and tone, an inflection of interest on Sesshomaru's part and boredom on Thalia's.  

 _"If that is what you believe is best, Sister East, then that is what we shall do,"_ the three answered. _"But what of the scarring created by Morstua in your domain? How would you have us determine if he or his brothers are behind whatever we may discover?"_

 _"I will search my own domain,"_ Lucidity told them, and there was a ripple of agreement in return. 

 _"And I will do the same,"_ Thalia added. 

 _"As you wish,"_ said the three. _"We shall return to you when we have finished, Sister East, and report our findings. Farewell."_

And nothing more was said. Without waiting for a response, the three swept out of the chambers, through the shattered doors of the balcony. The curtains rustled at their passing before silence prevailed and the room immediately dulled without the constant, vibrant show of lights. And Lucidity was left with a distinct impression that this pathetic excuse of a leadership role was merely tolerated by beings who understood only protocol...and had no other options available. She suppressed the urge to release a heavy sigh as she stared through the empty doorway, at the afternoon sky outside that was bright and cloudless and utterly mocking in its cheery appearance. The desire to simply drop on the spot and drag her knees up had the muscles of her legs growing tense. She fought the impulse and, instead, managed to keep her back straight, her limbs so rigid that she felt no different than the stone she stood upon. 

"[Open your mouth.]" 

Thalia's voice drew Lucidity's attention back to her and Sesshomaru on the bed. It was startling, the sight of them. Thalia had taken hold of Sesshomaru's jaw with one hand and it appeared as if she had forced his mouth open, rather than allow him to comply. Or had he refused? Either way, the glare of anger was blatant in the daiyoukai's eyes and he had even taken hold of Thalia by the arm, while he braced himself on his other hand in an apparent attempt to pull free. Yet Thalia ignored all this as she leaned in, her own lips still parted, and Lucidity took an involuntary step forward, stopping only when she saw something rise out of Sesshomaru's mouth. 

No longer in liquid form, the sulfur looked as if it had taken on the consistency of sand, with tiny particles trailing through the air on unseen waves, to filter their way into Thalia's mouth, as though she was stealing the very soul from his body. Gods how he must be hating every second of this! And now Lucidity could hear his voice, little more than a grunt that he struggled to contain. She could see it, the tension that filled him, the way the muscles of his arms flexed, right down to his stomach when he inhaled sharply. All the while, Thalia continued to extract the poison, paying no mind to the daiyoukai's increasing discomfort. Again, Lucidity heard his grunts as he shifted on the bed, and then the sound of shredding fabric filled the room as his claw tore into the blankets. His body arched as his eyes squeezed shut and Thalia renewed her grip on him, dragging his face closer, and Lucidity knew beyond any doubt the agony he was in. A strangled growl tore from his throat before it unexpectedly cut short, as if someone had muffled the noise, and his expression slackened, his body falling limp in Thalia's grasp. 

Lucidity was beside the bed, gripping onto one of the posts, without even realizing she had moved until she was there, staring down at him and whispering his name. There was no response. His head had fallen back, exposing the line of his throat, while Thalia supported his weight with an arm around his back, her other hand still holding his mouth open, the sulfur steadily pouring out and into Thalia.

 _"He will be fine,"_ she told Lucidity. _"I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner; everyone passes out from the pain."_

"[You're sure? He won't.... He really will be okay?]" 

"[Yes, I promise. The poison spread far. It traveled through his heart just now.]" 

"[His heart?!]" Lucidity exclaimed. "[But-]"

"[Relax. My power diluted it. Although, had he been human, he wouldn't have survive,]" said Thalia, her eyes narrowed in irritation, possibly at the repeated interruptions. Or perhaps she did not appreciate her abilities being questioned. Either way, Lucidity stepped back, knowing how annoyed she became when others hovered over her, inspecting her work, doubting she was capable. The West certainly doubted her. Did Above, Below, and Within feel the same? Did Thalia? The Guardian of the North was dead and an inexperience child had taken her place as leader. Anyone in their right mind would doubt a child and Lucidity couldn't blame them.

The trail of sulfur was coming to an end. The grains flowing from the daiyoukai into Thalia was thinning until Thalia finally lowered him onto the bed as the last grain disappeared between her lips. She inhaled sharply, eyes closed, and coughed several times before letting out a deep breath. "[I have never worked on a daemon of his caliber before,]" she said as she peered down at his immobile form, mouth pursed pensively. "[I'm uncertain how long he'll remain unconscious, but he will make a full recovery. I should return home and begin my search, as my leader has commanded.]" 

"[I'm no leader,]" Lucidity muttered.

Thalia rose from the bed and came to stand in front of Lucidity, who suddenly found it difficult to maintain eye contact with the Guardian of the South. Those green eyes were too vivid, too scrutinizing, as if she could pull secrets from the soul with nothing more than a glance. And then she reached out and clasped Lucidity by the shoulder. "[You did well with our sisters and it will become easier as time goes on. The West will always be wild and unpredictable, and we shall handle her accordingly should it ever be necessary.]"

"[...necessary?]"

The answer she received was little more than a small, upward curve of the lips. "May the gates of our domains be open to one another," said Thalia in that heavy accent of hers. And the words were a deep echo of the past; she must have practiced off and on for years to perfect the phrase.

"Now and forever," Lucidity replied with a slight bow of the head that Thalia returned in kind. And yet Lucidity felt a stranger in her own body, repeating gestures and formalities that were never hers. It wasn't until Thalia began to walk towards the exit that she suddenly remembered one matter she had been meaning to ask about. "Do you know where the North was killed, by chance?"

Thalia turned sharply around, surprised at the question. 

"I was going to ask the other three, before they left," Lucidity continued. "But with Sesshomaru injured, I just...I forgot. I was hoping that they told you. Or...was that a privilege only for the West?"

A sigh broke from Thalia as she ran a hand through her hair, such a very human display to make. "[I see. Yes, they did tell me. When they first returned with the West, I asked where they had gone.]"

"Will you show me?" Lucidity requested with a tap to her temple.

Thalia obliged and was able to paint a clear picture in her mind while giving directions. How many miles it was, and that she needed to travel in the direction of the setting sun, then further north until she found water. A great body of water that was teeming with absolutely no life, not even a single plant. And then the South was gone, leaving in a soft rush of mist, and the rest was silence. 

Though she was not the only one here, the room felt empty. Broken, was what it was. Unfinished. She peered around at the remains of the doors and dresser, what the hard work of the North had been reduced to. Her gaze lingered on Sesshomaru's belongings that were on the floor by the bed. Swords, clothing, armor, boots. Foreign and out of place, as was the daiyoukai himself. Lucidity came to stand over him and peered down at his form, unobstructed by the presence of Thalia. His wound was no longer seeping. There was no sweat to be found. And his breathing was shallow with sleep. Overall, he was improved, for which she was grateful, even if she hadn't...cared for the method of healing Thalia had used.

Lucidity paused when she abruptly realized what she was doing. Peering down at her hands, she saw her thumb pressing into the scarred palm. An indent of her nail could be seen in the skin and she quickly pulled her hands apart. What would have happened if Thalia had waited a bit longer to arrive? What matters might have been addressed, even put to rest? Or would there have been no talking at all? They needed to talk, if only to sort out what needed to be done now, what their...priorities should be.

Swallowing heavily, she reached out and took hold of the mokomoko so that she might drag it around Sesshomaru's shoulders, knowing that was how he preferred to sleep. But she went a step further-perhaps using this as nothing more than an excuse to keep touching him-and pulled the blankets over his frame. Only then did she step back, to watch him for a long moment: the stillness of his face, the movement of the blankets as he breathed, the slight bit of space between his lips that seemed to beckon. And yes, she wanted to kiss him, rather desperately in fact. But what would happen after? She had no idea. And that uncertainty made the atmosphere of the room so hot and thick that she was forced to step outside onto the balcony. The irony of it, that she of all people needed air.

There was no mountain peak here, no place to truly find an escape. Yet it was so quiet. Devoid of Guardians, servants, and even the locals. No dancing will-o'-the-wisps, no prowling gargoyles, no instruments being played. Were those creatures active only at night? A minor curiosity that could not distract her for long as she leapt off the balcony to the ground far below, with a vague destination in mind. Perhaps she would visit the place the North had died. Or should she wait, until Sesshomaru awoke? Would he, by some chance, be able to find something the Guardians had missed? A trail? A scent?

She took a slow, ambling path through the hedge maze as these thoughts churned through her head. There was no clear plan of action, no where to turn for answers. Mother was silent. She had delivered the news to Her daughters and now had Her own work to do, leaving-no, abandoning them to their own devices, their own wars against outside forces and among each other. Ever the absent parent, She was, playing Her hand only when She did not have every Guardian available to use as Her tool.

Anger would be refreshing, would give her something to focus on. Yet Lucidity could feel little more than a fleeting burn of irritation before it disappeared and she was left with a bottomless hole in her gut of dread and guilt and regret. She peered up at the great branches of the First Tree as she cut through the maze. Why bother coming here? This was the North's resting place, not hers. This was not Hahaoya no Shikyu, similar though the trees were. This was not home. Ah, but then, what _was_ her home? The Isle? It was a safe haven, no doubt, somewhere she was familiar and at ease with. But could she call it home? Or was home not a place, but rather people? Inuyasha and Kagome, Sango and Miroku? Or, perhaps, home was just a person. Sesshomaru, then? Or...

Her father?

At the end of the maze, Lucidity came to a stop in an archway of hedges and stared down at the massive roots of the First Tree. There was an all too well known sting in her eyes and an ache in the back of her throat as she pushed a hand through her hair. Dammit! Why did she keep thinking about him? Now was not the time. She had to focus. She couldn't dwell on homes and belonging and injured husbands. She had to.... To what? Do as the three had said? Focus on her responsibilities to their Mother and ignore everything else? There was...truth to the fact that what happened between her and Sesshomaru was of little consequence where the whole of the world was concerned. He helped to keep her grounded, yes, but he could not fight in a war against the Princes. She did not need him to win this. Without a doubt, she wanted him at her side, but if they could not reconcile, he would only be a distraction. She needed to...to figure out her priorities. 

"My Lady East."

Lucidity gave a start and looked around to find Oberon walking through the roots, striding with purpose in her direction. Where had he come from? Had he been there since she stepped out of the maze? Jumped down from the branches, perhaps? As he drew nearer, she realized that, once again, she'd been rubbing at her scarred palm and quickly folded her arms.

"No more formalities, Oberon," she said when he gave a low bow after stopping in front of her. "Please, just call me by name."

He frowned and there was a deep set to his brow that suggested anger or disapproval. What details had Thalia told him? It didn't appear as if she had held back. He looked utterly exhausted. His hair was disheveled, as though he had spent hours with his head buried in his hands. There were prominent circles beneath his eyes, which appeared...somewhat swollen. Not red in the least, but she wondered if he had the taste of tears in his mouth as she did.

"I'm sorry, Oberon," she murmured, looking away.

"What does my Lady apologize for?" he asked, and she didn't know if he was indifferent or simply...sad. His voice was so low and monotone, the complete opposite of his lively tone upon first meeting him.

A deep sigh broke from her. "Everything," she said. "The loss of the North, of your Titania, the part I played in it."

"The part you played? Yes...the Lady South mentioned something of the sort."

Trying not to cringe, Lucidity started to turn away. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I...shouldn't be intruding. I will-"

"Don't leave on my account," said Oberon. "And do not apologize. What you did to Morstua was brilliant."

Lucidity froze and peered back to stare at the King of the Faeries, lips parting a fraction. He gave a rueful smile at her surprise.

"The Princes have never truly paid for their crimes," he continued. "Is Morstua conscious? Where he is trapped, he has no form, but he's aware, yes?" 

She nodded.

"Explain to me how it works, his imprisonment." 

Lucidity was reluctant, and yet saw no reason to refuse. "His body has been broken down into a base substance," she said. "He's trapped between the edges of this planet and what lays beyond, and is conscious for every moment of his existence. I can feel him, like a small discomfort you get used to after a while. He is constantly trying to pull his body back together, become whole again. I ignore him, for the most part, allow him only so much progress, before I scatter his essence again." 

"So...he is forced to start over," murmured Oberon. "How often does that happen?" 

"Once, maybe twice a month." 

"That," Oberon said, his voice growing breathless, "would drive any man to insanity, mortal or otherwise. How long do you intend to keep him prisoner?" 

"Indefinitely," was the apathetic response. 

"Is it possible for this fate to be shared by all of the Princes?" he asked, and there was no hiding the eagerness in his tone. 

"No," Lucidity said. "It is the next best thing after an execution, I know, but I can't imprison all of them. One, yes, two...might be possible, but not nearly as long. If the other Guardians were willing to take Morstua's brothers, there could be some measure of justice for the North." 

"You believe I care for justice?" demanded Oberon, but paused when she leveled him with a quiet stare. 

"Not in the least," she said. "You want revenge. You want them to suffer." 

"I want to find the one who killed her and make him pay," came the vehement declaration that had Lucidity sighing once more. 

"Challenging a prince is suicide for anyone other than a Guardian." 

"Do you think that matters to me?" he snapped, and there was a prickle in the air, a subtle power that had the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. "Do you think it would matter to your husband if the same were to happen to you?" 

Lucidity could not stop herself from moving away, if only a step or two, and fought the urge to peer up at the castle, at the balcony that led to the chambers the daiyoukai slept in. "No," she muttered, keeping her gaze fixed on the ground. "He wouldn't hesitate to give his life in pursuit of revenge."

The sound of footsteps had her glancing up at the King of the Faeries to find him standing before her, his jaw clenched in a hard frown, the anger running deep in the lines of his face. "And I would do no less for my Titania," he said. "When you discover who is responsible, I want to know. I wish to be there when the sentence is passed. And in return, I am at your disposal, Guardian of the East. I offer my service and that of my people, should you ever have need." 

"Oberon...that isn't-" 

"Please, Lucidity," he whispered, and the temper of his demeanor fractured, bearing the broken man beneath the King. "I was not meant to outlive her, and now...." 

"All right, all right," she said. "You have a deal." 

The cloak he wore slid back from one shoulder as he lifted a hand out to her. "The bargain of a Fae is binding," he said. "We must promise each other that we will not go back on our word." 

Her brows rose slightly. "And...what should happen if the promise is ever broken? I have not heard favorable tales of those who bargain with the Fae."

"Mortals who betray us are dealt with harshly, this is true," he answered. "But there is little we can do against the power of a Guardian. You and your family would be unwelcome among my people, should you break our deal. Loved ones less powerful than you could potentially be put in great danger should they ever come across us outside of Avalon. As for myself, I am aware of what you are capable of, of the harm you could bring to not only me, but to all Fae. I know the risks and do not offer this bargain lightly."

Lucidity reached out and took his hand. "So it would appear."

Oberon's smile was tired. Sincere, yes, but he was worn down, aged by grief, and, considering his longevity, that was quite a feat. His hand was warm in hers, firm in its deliberate grip that would have crushed her fingers had she still been mortal. And then she felt the caress of his power, a subtle flow over her skin, and there was a wildness that she could taste in the magic that was different than what she was accustomed to. It filled her senses with the scent of flowers and wet soil, reminded her of storms and oceans battering against cliff walls. Pure nature. It wasn't a wonder why the North had been drawn to him.

Without warning, a sharp pain seared her palm and she jerked her hand free with a soft curse.

"Apologies, Lucidity," said Oberon. "I know it can be uncomfortable."

She didn't answer, but stared down at the image that was already fading. There was a distinct glow of pale antlers in the center of Mother's mark, overlapping the raised scars on her skin. But she blinked once, twice, and the image vanished, leaving nothing behind but a vague soreness when she flexed her fingers.

Oberon moved closer, his gaze on her hand. "That is where the Mother bound you and Sesshomaru together. From what I have seen, she has chosen well. I witnessed his assault on the West from a distance; he has great skill, even if she bested him in the end." 

"You know he will not be happy with this bargain of ours?" she replied, lowering her hand and peering up at Oberon. 

"I'm aware, but he should learn that the business you conduct as the Guardian is not his to interfere with."

"That...isn't how a marriage should work," was her feeble answer. And yet she had no true ground to stand upon, when she, herself, had told Sesshomaru no different. 

"You are not a typical wife, my Lady," he said. "And I hear how you protest, but I know there is discord between you two. I understand that much from what little Sesshomaru deigned to reveal, and more from what he would not speak of. Sometimes, silence is more informative than words." Of course, she said nothing in response, merely frowned, and he gave a small, sad smile before continuing. "A war is coming, Lucidity. And if the passing of my Titania means anything, it is that the outcome of war is unpredictable. Do not let matters remain as they are between you and your lord husband. Sever or strengthen your ties as you see fit, or you will have nothing but regret in the end."

* * *

Night had fallen.

The lamps had not been lit. There was no crackle of fire, no warmth of light. The air was stale and cold. Nothing stirred. So, at first, he could not understand what had awoken him, until he became aware of the presence near his feet and a familiar scent that accompanied it. The fact that he had not noticed immediately was a strong hint of the effects the poison had had on him. He did not need to feel the weakness of his body, .or the aches of protest in his muscles when he began to move, to know that the alternative outcome could have been potentially fatal if it had not been for the interference from the Guardian of the South. And knowing that he was at a disadvantage only served to strengthen the foul mood that was encroaching on him.

The blankets fell from his frame when Sesshomaru pushed himself up. And he saw her there, kneeling at the foot of the bed. The form of her silhouette could not be mistaken, as was the sheen of yellow hair that tumbled around her shoulders. Darkness did nothing to impede his vision and he could see those eyes fixed on him, saw her lips move, though she said not a word. And then she moved forward, placing one hand in front of the other, crawling over the bed, over him, her body moving along his, over his thighs, until she settled into his lap. She had a leg on either side of his waist and the weight of her pressed down on him. 

She wore no clothing, and he felt the touch of bare breasts against his chest as she leaned in, lips brushing over his, hands taking him by the shoulders. And he, in turn, seized her by the throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't seem like Sesshy enjoys that particular rude awakening.
> 
> And wow. I feel like so much is happening that I can barely keep up with it. Maybe I should actually write down some notes on plot points and whatnot. Argh! But then that feels too much like work. Making an outline and following a script? Bleh! No thanks. So, I hope you all enjoy the randomness of the brain that involves vague ideas on what I want to happen, while still focusing on the main plot, of course. ^.^


	15. Chapter 15

The surprise was sharp in her eyes. Her mouth was agape, and a sound rose from her throat, the beginning of some protest or insult, perhaps. Yet Sesshomaru had no intention of indulging the antics of anyone, least of all her. With his claws scraping along her skin and drawing beads of blood to the surface, he flung her away with enough strength to send her crashing into what remained of the broken furniture that he, himself, had been thrown into previously by Lucidity. Naked limbs were flailing among the fragments of wood, which clattered and reverberated throughout the room, and the voice issuing from the floor was an angry hiss. The scent of blood wafted through the air as Sesshomaru pushed aside the hangings on the side of the bed and rose to his feet. The muscles of his legs burned with nearly forgotten pain, and he recalled what Lucidity had said, about the poison eating its way through his veins. And he also recalled what the South had done in an effort to cure him of that poison. The agony of it, when it had entered his heart, made him question his own survival. That was the last coherent thought he'd had before the memory went blank. 

To meet his end in such a way, in a bed, feverish, being touched by a woman he did not know, had the daiyoukai clenching his teeth in a deep scowl. And to awaken to this! It was more than he was willing to tolerate and the first crackle of power fed his body, chasing from it the lingering weakness of his wounds. Claws and fangs lengthened as he walked around the bed, his feet making no sound over the soft surface of the floor coverings. The figure on the ground was still moving, shaking slivers of wood from her yellow hair and muttering incoherently. Blood trickled from numerous scrapes along her body as she fixed him with a hard glare, indifferent to the power rolling over his skin. The energy of the Whip began to gather in his hand. 

But the arrival of another drew his attention. The Whip dissipated as he peered over at the shattered doors, to see Lucidity stepping barefoot over the broken glass, her eyes wide. She was staring at the one on the floor, the one who was a perfect mirror of her physical form, down to the last strand of hair. The false Guardian stood, anger gone, and a smile started to crawl along her lips, seemingly delighted to have someone new to play with. She spoke then, the same foreign words that had been exchanged between Oberon and the South, words that had Lucidity's face growing tight with a quiet fury that had her striding forward. The false Guardian let out a cackle of a laugh, turned, and ran.

Lucidity wasn't injured, wasn't using her power to maintain herself, and was, therefore, faster. Sesshomaru had gone no more than a few paces by the time she had grabbed hold of the creature and was pinning it by the throat against the wall, its feet dangling above the floor. And even as it struggled, Sesshomaru could see the change coming over the form. Limbs were shortening. Hair was receding, growing darker. The features of the face rippled, not unlike the surface of a pond being disturbed by a fallen rock, until large, brown eyes darted between him and Lucidity, as though searching for some sign of mercy. 

"Puck," Lucidity growled at the Fae trickster. 

Puck began to babble, while Sesshomaru frowned. Had Puck not been male? Lucidity had indicated as much, and Sesshomaru had detected no different. The figure she held was slim and shapeless, with little more than a suggestion of female endowments. But the sex between the Fae's legs could not mark her as anything else but female, along with the fair scent that accompanied it. This was more than glamour or shapeshifting. Sesshomaru was uncertain what it meant and could only conclude that the Fae were among some of the more peculiar creatures he had encountered. 

"What is he saying?" the daiyoukai asked when Puck's voice became higher in pitch, the words coming faster. 

"He. She. It," Lucidity muttered. "I don't know at this point. He's begging now. A moment ago, he said he wanted to teach you a lesson for being rude and that he was going to parade around in my skin to expose the most intimate parts of your wife, since you went and ruined his grand plan by knowing it wasn't me who was trying to seduce you." And here, her fingers tightened on Puck's throat and the wet, hacking sound of a windpipe being crushed filled the room. "Pity no one told him how laughable that idea is." 

Sesshomaru did not respond, but listened in silence as Lucidity addressed the trickster in that strange, foreign tongue, her voice low and soft, regardless of the hard fury in her gaze. A calm rage, it was, that had Puck's eyes widening and head nodding vigorously. And then she brought him away from the wall and carried him outside onto the balcony. A shout of alarm reached Sesshomaru's ears, followed by a sharp scream, and Lucidity returned moments later, empty handed. She ran her fingers through her hair, breathing heavily through her nose, eyes closed and forehead wrinkled. She was an image of subdued temper and exhaustion as her shoulders sagged and she lowered her arms. 

"I told you he was going to want revenge for what you did to him," she said, and the daiyoukai frowned at the admonishing tone. 

"The trickster is no concern of mine," he said. "He is fortunate I did not kill him." 

Lucidity, who was looking around, did not appear to have heard, until she murmured, "I will if he bothers us again; that is what I told him."

"Did you not claim it was unwise to slaughter the locals?" 

"I could destroy the whole of Avalon and it would be within my right," was her indifferent reply as she moved through the chambers, kicking a length of wood out of her way. "With the North gone, her domain is mine. Puck knows it, and he knows that no one can protect him from me; I doubt we will be seeing him again. This place is a disaster," she suddenly added. "We should move you to another room." 

"That will not be necessary," said Sesshomaru. He had no intention of remaining indoors. The castle smelled of rot and dirt, of old death that had been forgotten. The forests outside, though unfamiliar, were more appealing than this ancient structure of stone. And yet Lucidity placed herself in front of him when he took a step towards the balcony, hard fingers snatching him by the wrist. 

"Fine," she said. "Then lay back down; you will burn yourself out at this rate." 

Any choice that was to be made was removed for him when the unexpected crackle of the Guardian's power scorched the air and seared across his skin. It was a brief, painful reminder of when he had attempted to stop her after she had robbed him of breath last winter. How their auras had clashed, how she had overpowered him in the end. She did the same now, cutting through the thread of his energy like a blade through a body. And the agony of the poison returned in full, flooding through him as though it were a parasite that continued to feast, continued to deplete his strength. His growl was answered with a shove that had him landing in the nest of blankets and fur, and he glared up at Lucidity as she loomed over him, armed folded, haughty and unimpressed. 

"If you want to be some measure of helpful to me, you will let yourself recover," she said. "Though how you could possibly be of any use in a war against death is beyond me, but you are the one who wouldn't listen and insisted on-Stay!" came the shout and she pointed a sharp finger at him when he began to push himself up.

"I am not some dog to be ordered, woman," he snapped, ignoring the discomfort in his muscles, as he sat upright.

"There is irony in that statement. You realize that, right?"

Was she intentionally trying to infuriate him? It seemed as if she was taking every opportunity to slight him, insult him, and he did not have the patience for such petulant behavior. And he was about to dismiss her, order her to leave him in peace if she continued with this act, when he stopped and considered the possibility with greater care. "Why are you angry?" he asked.

He wasn't certain if it was the question itself or if she expected a different reaction, but she did not respond immediately, merely blinked, staring at him, before she quickly recovered and let out a scoff. "If you need to ask, then there's no point in explaining," she said.

"You are trying to bait me, Lucidity. Why?"

"I'm not-"

"What are you hoping to accomplish with this fight?"

"Nothing! You're just a stubborn-"

"Lying will not help. Tell me the reason for your behavior."

"Fuck off, Sesshomaru! Stop over analyzing everything and just lay down already."

"Lucidity-"

"I mean it!" she yelled, and her arms had unfolded, hands clenched into fists. "You're injured and no use to anyone until you've recovered. Believe whatever the hell you want. I don't care! Just go back to sleep and leave it alone."

He didn't move, and neither did she. They stared at one another, he sitting on the edge of the bed and she standing in front of him. Her fury was as palpable as her power. The heat of it filled the space between them. He noticed the muscles in her neck constricting as she swallowed, the tremble that rushed through her body like a whisper, before he caught a scent that had been present too often of late.

"Lucidity...." he said, and saw the moisture that gathered in her eyes. Her lips parted. She began to speak, little more than an incoherent sound, before she snapped her mouth shut and shook her head, turning away in the same motion. He reached out and caught her by the wrist.

"Don't!" she shouted, jerking free and glaring back at him. Her cheeks were wet, and the fury etched along her face was fractured, and not even one as dense as Inuyasha would have had trouble understanding what lay beneath.

He could feel how she shook when he took hold of her wrist once more. This time, she didn't pull away, nor did she struggle when he drew her closer. Anger was an emotion that was easier to indulge. He, himself, had a preference for it; though he never cared for the times when he lost control. Lucidity was the same in this aspect, but she was losing control. Repeatedly. He could understand the reason for choosing to be angry. To a point, he could even understand the reason for her tears. Yet he could not understand the reason she continued to succumb, why she would allow it, when it was not in her nature. She was not weak. 

And yet she collapsed against him. The moment he reached up with his other hand, to take her by the arm, she was there, falling onto the coverlet beside him. She'd broken his grip on her wrist and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. He could hear her sobbing, felt the tears soaking his shoulder where she had buried her face, and he glanced down at what he could see of the trail of yellow hair. Why did she do this? Why did she insist on behaving as some fragile human? And why did he, Sesshomaru, continue to tolerate it? He loathed listening to her weep, smelling the salt of her tears. He loathed how she shivered in his grasp when he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her legs across his lap and lifting her to him. He loathed how her breathing grew wet and labored when his hand buried itself in her hair, and how a low keen sounded from her when he said her name again. He wanted it to stop, but did not know what to do. Beyond this...he was at a loss. 

Was being the Guardian breaking the woman? 

The daiyoukai wondered at the thought, feeling the weight of Lucidity against him. His body was still sore, still weak from the poison, but he paid the discomfort no mind as he listened to her weeping gradually subside, and her grip began to loosen. But when she drew her head from his shoulder, he was seized by a rare impulse that he succumbed to without thought, an impulse that was more instinct than desire, as he took hold of her chin and lifted her head up. Blue eyes were wide when his tongue touched the curve of her jaw and traced the path of tears along her cheek. She was stiff in his grasp, as though preparing herself to spring away, but didn't move when he repeated the gesture on the other side of her face. Yet when it happened a third time, and his tongue found the corner of her mouth, she turned from him, and was soon easing herself from his lap to sit beside him. Her feet came to rest on the floor, but she didn't stand, remaining where she was and staring down at her hands, particularly at the seven-pointed star on her palm that her fingers were tracing.

"The other Guardians believe you are a distraction," she murmured, keeping her head lowered. "And they're right. You make me forget what I should focus on." He noticed her thumb press hard on the center of her hand. "But you insist on staying here. Why?"

"Need you ask?" Sesshomaru replied, and she leaned her head down further, until her hair fell forward to hide her face from view; her nail was starting to dig into her skin.

"'We cannot remain as we are.... You cannot be mine and a Guardian.'" Hearing his own words echoed back at him had a frown creasing his lips, but he did not have a chance to respond when she spoke again. "It's becoming difficult to understand what you want from me, when you say one thing and do another. I don't know...how to interpret.... So, just tell me why you stay. Is it duty, because you're obligated, or because it's what you want?"

"You are making yourself bleed, woman," he told her, watching the small bead of crimson smear beneath her thumb.

"Answer me, Sesshomaru," came the command, with the first renewed note of irritation entering her voice.

"Both," he said. "Do not forget that I was named your Protector, but I chose to be your husband. It is what I wanted."

Yet this did not seem to be the correct statement. She displayed no signs of reassurance, but appeared to draw in on herself, arms tightening against her body, and he found himself...vexed at the sight. "Wanted?" she repeated in a quiet whisper.

"You idiot woman. You believe that I have changed my mind?" he demanded. "That I have decided this was a mistake?"

"What am I supposed to think?!" she shouted, finally lifting her eyes to glare up at him; yes, anger was always easier. "You're a stubborn, proud prince of youkai! By your own admission, you wanted me under your control, but you finally realize how impossible that is! And the things you've said to me, telling me that I can't be yours.... Didn't I tell you that I'm used to this happening, of people taking off on me?! Why do you think I have never worried about letting anyone, friends or family, know that I'm all right after Mother brought me here? I have no one waiting for me, Sesshomaru! You're the only family I have! Do you have any idea what these last few weeks with you have been like?"

The daiyoukai was unaware that he had seized her by the shoulders until she gasped in alarm and he realized that he had shoved her onto her back across the bed, strands of yellow hair caught among the white of the mokomoko. "No more than you comprehend the humiliation of one being unable to touch his own wife," he growled, and the sight of her shocked expression was as refreshing as the swell of fury that had his grip tightening on her. "I taste your blood and cannot control myself. I sought out the Sage to put an end to this affliction. I was forced to seek aid from another...for you. I am the eldest son of Inu no Taisho. The legacy alone commands respect, and I have surpassed my father in power. I seek to build my own empire. Youkai have come to fear me and bow to my will. And yet I cannot lay with you without causing you harm, because I do not understand the cause of what is happening. Attempt to fathom what that means, woman, for a youkai lord, before you next complain."

Her chest heaved as she panted, and he could hear the racing of her heart, so close he was to her. "Why couldn't you explain this to me in the beginning?" was her immediate response, and he drew back. "I know how proud you are, but would it ever kill you to admit, at least to me, the trouble you're having, instead of leaving me to wonder what the hell is going on? You didn't even tell me you were working on a solution when you went to see the Sage. You just left, and I was going to crazy. You were treating me like some burden of a human again, like it was in the beginning when we could barely tolerate each other, and I was an inconvenience to have around-"

"Lucidity," he cut in, "those concerns are ridiculous. There is no logic in them."

To his surprise, she smiled, a bitter, unhappy expression as she turned her head to the side. "You are so damn practical," she muttered. "I'll admit that I didn't consider the humiliation of this for you. But...I don't think you can understand the fear of being left, whether it's rational or not. I was ready to send you away, before you made the decision yourself."

His eyes narrowed. "After everything that has happened, that is what you believe?"

"No," she groaned, and suddenly covered her face with both hands. "It's not what I believe. It's what I'm afraid of! There's no logic to it. Don't you get that?!"

He did not pause to think, but took her by the wrists, dragging her hands apart, and pinned her arms on either side of her head. There was no force on his part, no strength, and yet she made no attempt to stop him as he leaned down, his face above hers, until he could taste her breath. "No," he murmured. "I do not understand such fear." And he closed the curve of his mouth over hers. He saw her eyes widen before his own fell shut, and felt her arch against him, as though she intended to protest, to break away. And then she sagged beneath him, all fight, all resistance fleeing her body, and her lips parted for him. The touch of her tongue beckoned, and he reacquainted himself with the taste of her mouth. Slow, methodical, he savored the warmth she gave, the fires of home that he always knew her by. Too long, it had been. He had forgotten the succulent flavor of the power that was forever coursing through her, and the fragile mortality of her nature that continued to linger.

By the time they broke apart, he was uncertain who was more breathless. There was a strain in his body as he remained upright, with most of his weight bearing down on her wrists. She either did not notice or ignored it entirely as she peered up at him, mouth open and chest heaving once more. He watched the movement, watched the curves of her form hidden by nothing more than a single layer of material, and she shifted beneath him, her scent deepening in realization of his thoughts. And he lowered his mouth to hers yet again, feasting on such a small portion of what she offered, of what he wanted to take.

But he was quick to end the embrace and his forehead came to rest against hers, eyes closed, as the exhaustion encroached. "You are my priority, Lucidity," he said. "I would have you remember that the next time you fall prey to such idiotic thoughts."

"You still love me, then?"

He pushed himself up and looked down at her with a frown. Yet she could not meet his gaze. Her eyes flicked up, then away, and there was a flush to her cheeks that suggested discomfort, if not the heat of her need.

"Craziness and all...do you?" she whispered.

He let out a soft snort. "You are not insane, woman."

"Not yet...not completely. You know that. It's what a Protector is supposed to protect a Guardian from. No mortal mind could fully survive after learning the truth. So...please.... I lied. I need to hear it. For now, just this once. Do you love me?"

His thoughts immediately turned to what the South had said to him, that a Protector was meant to save a Guardian from herself, and the fate that awaited her after he was gone. He felt a tension rise inside him that he did not care for, a sour taste forming on the back of his tongue, and a sudden need to...touch, to feel the heat of skin against his body, beneath his hand. Damn this woman! She truly would be his undoing. Long had it been since he was able to recognize himself and his actions, and this moment was no different as he gathered her into his arms, his weight threatening to crush her into the bed. His lips seized hers once again, as if determined to compensate for the long weeks of starving himself of her taste. Her gasp was lost in the embrace before he felt trembling arms slide around his neck, felt the kiss deepen, the caress of teeth against his lips, soft bites, the yearning for more. A yearning he should not indulge, whether he had the strength or not. His mouth drew back from hers, found her chin, her throat, the erratic pulse beneath her skin.

"Yes," he growled. "You insufferable, manipulate wench, the answer is yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh! Lucidity, stop being so damn weepy! Who knows how long Sesshy's patience for it will last? Or mine.... Hope you all enjoyed! And I hope you all didn't think Sesshy would really grab Lucidity by the throat like that. XD


	16. Chapter 16

There was emptiness here. Nothing moved. Nothing breathed. Nothing walked, crawled, galloped, or swam. Nothing lived in this void where the North had perished. Though the blue waters stretched towards the horizon, beyond the visual of the naked eye, there was naught but dry grass and dirt beneath his feet. Death had visited here. True death that left this emptiness behind. Nothing could have survived.

At Lucidity's request, Sesshomaru had searched for some hint of the Princes having been in this dead place, a scent or an aura that somehow went undetected by the other Guardians. Sesshomaru had no confidence that anything would be discovered, but had done as she'd asked, knowing it was reassurance she sought rather than proof. And while he searched above, she had gone below, into the waters, along with the Fae King, who had been adamant on accompanying them upon learning their destination when he'd discovered them departing the island of Avalon on foot. Sesshomaru was indifferent to Oberon's presence, and at the same time understood his desire to be here; the daiyoukai would have done the same.

His search had been concluded not long ago, necessary but ultimately fruitless, and now he walked the water's edge, loathing the stagnant smells of the air and impatient for Lucidity's return. His gaze continuously swept over the still surface, but it never churned, never hinted at any sort of change. How deep did the water reach? He knew the length of this great lake, but could only fathom how far into the earth it went.

He wanted to leave this place, this country, to find himself back in familiar settings. It had been nearly three days now. The first day spent in meetings, in fights that invited death, and the second one spent recovering from those fights. The effects of the poison allowed him to venture only so far for so long before he required rest, keeping them on Avalon until this morning. Lucidity had claimed she still had business here where the North had died and they would leave once it was concluded. And while he knew this to be true, he was aware that she could have brought him yesterday, but opted, instead, to give him time to recuperate. In another lifetime, he would have been insulted. Now, however, he reflected on her priorities, especially when it was revealed that she needed to search the entirety of her domain for some signs of the Princes, that the South was doing the same in hers, and the other three scoured the remainder of the world. Should he allow her to become so distracted, to neglect her duties?

A hand absently went to the plate of his armor, settling above the wound that had closed over, but not yet healed. It would take a few days longer before he was fully recovered. Was there a way to prevent this from happening again? A way to improve his chances, increase his strength? If a single hand through the chest by a Guardian could bring him so close to his end, what success could be had against one, let alone several, fathered by Death? There must be a way, as there had been when Bakusaiga came to him.

At his back, he heard it: the sound of lapping water. Turning on a sharp heel, he saw the surface of the lake rippling. Droplets were shooting upward, higher with each passing second, until the water spread apart like a dull roar, just as the ocean had done. The narrow pathway opened up onto the bank and from it the two figures emerged, dry and engrossed in conversation that lacked the enthusiasm of a useful discovery. The currents of wind that held the water died away as Lucidity and Oberon reached the daiyoukai.

"Anything?" she asked, only to sigh when Sesshomaru gave a single shake of his head. "I'm not surprised; I figured this would be a waste of time. Thank you for looking, though." 

"Better to be certain than careless," said Oberon, arms behind his back and his gaze on the water, its surface calm once more. "I do not understand why the Princes created this lake after killing Titania. What is its purpose?" 

"I don't believe it was intended," said Lucidity. "There is nothing rotten about the water itself, only the land. There are some places where it's impossible to dig graves, because the sea level is too high. Maybe the water was already here when the crater was made and filled what was left. But water is considered a necessity of life. Without it, there would be no plants, no air to breathe. I know other factors are involved, but water has already been considered the heart of life. It's possible Mother created the lake, to balance the scar left on the earth by Titania's death." 

"An ideal way to honor her memory, to make this place lush and green," Oberon replied, then peered over at Sesshomaru and Lucidity. "You two are leaving now?"

"Our return is overdue," said Sesshomaru. 

"Plus there is another search to be made and I don't know how long it will take," Lucidity added, to which Oberon frowned. 

"Do you believe it will yield anything of use?" he asked. 

Lucidity shook her head. "I'm doubtful. We usually find the Princes when they want to be found. If they know about the North, they'll be expecting us; it will be difficult catching them off guard." 

"You have fresh eyes," said Oberon. "Perhaps you will think of something the others will not."

"Perhaps," she said, but there was uncertainty in her tone. 

"Safe travels, my Lady East. Call upon me if you have need," said the Fae King, and then made the odd gesture of extending his hand out to her. 

"You're staying here?" Lucidity asked, and Sesshomaru frowned when she clasped his hand with hers. 

"For now," Oberon answered, before offering his hand to the daiyoukai. "Farewell, Protector. I hope we meet again, under better circumstances." 

It did not escape his attention, the quick glance the Fae King and Lucidity shared, which had his frown deepening. He peered down at Oberon's hand, then back to his face and the tentative smile that was offered. "Farewell," said Sesshomaru, then turned and walked off. 

"Is a handshake...somehow offensive?" he heard Oberon ask. 

"I suppose a certain distance is maintained between strangers back home," Lucidity said. "Handshakes are not common. Don't take it personally, though, even if some of it is his personality." 

"As you wish, Lucidity. Goodbye for now." 

Sesshomaru stopped, just as he heard her reply, "Goodbye, Oberon. You're always welcome in the east." And it was a few moments before she was at his side, pausing to wave a final farewell to the Fae King, as Sesshomaru resumed his pace. 

"He has become familiar with you," he said after a while. 

"He doesn't need to be calling me by titles," Lucidity said.

"Why? Because he is a self-proclaimed monarch?"

"No, because I'm still the reason his Titania is gone."

He cast a fleeting glance in her direction, but saw nothing but quiet contemplation in her expression as she stared at the path ahead of them. "You continue with the foolish belief that you are at fault?"

"It's the truth."

"It's ridiculous."

Lucidity stopped and so did he, peering over to meet her gaze. "You really like using that word, don't you?" she asked. "Ridiculous."

"Only when your behavior makes it a necessity," he said. "You deserve the mantle of the Guardian because you do not want it. I have told you this before, and yet you continue to doubt yourself. Idiot woman."

She opened her mouth, perhaps on reflex, but she appeared to have lost her retort somewhere along the way. Soon, she shook her head and settled on a glare that did not quite reflect the heat of anger. "How is it that you can praise and insult at the same time? It's like an art form with you."

"You make it easy."

"I'm...not sure how to take that."

"Take it how you will," he told her as he turned away. "Come. I wish to leave this place, and you have neglected your duties long enough." 

A sigh echoed in response, followed by the sound of quickened footsteps as she caught up with him. "Should I not be free to choose my own priorities like some of us?" she muttered. 

"A leader is bound by responsibility and has less freedom than most," said the daiyoukai. "You should realize this by now." 

"I'm not a leader. How many times do I-"

"I grow impatient with this adamant refusal of yours," he interrupted. "You are the second-in-command of the Guardians. You are responsible for them and what happens now." 

"They barely tolerate me, Sesshomaru, and the West won't even have me. How-"

"You will deal with the West when the time comes, as you have done everything else. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by uncertainties of the future. Focus on what is happening in this moment and handle it accordingly." 

"I don't...I don't know if I can." 

A growl began to form low in his throat as his claws dug into the palm of his hand. 

"I never imagined something like this could happen, that one of use would be killed," she continued. "I don't know anything about war, about being in charge. The memories can only help so much. I'm not Satomi; I wasn't born a Guardian. I was raised to have a boring, quiet life with an equally boring husband." 

Sesshomaru rounded on her. "Enough! I will hear no more of your inane prattling, woman. You will accomplish nothing at this rate. If you wish to whine about the unfairness of the world, do so to someone who is willing to endure your complaints. My tolerance for it has waned. If you continue in this manner, you will be searching the east on your own."

The image of her expression, the shock in her eyes and the pallor of her face evident even beneath those yellow strands of hair, managed to burn itself into his mind before he turned from her, his strides quick and impatient in an effort to distance himself. 

A pair of hands on his armor brought him to an unexpected halt. He'd felt the movement, but had anticipated a gust of wind and a form to suddenly materialize before him if she attempted to impede his progress. Yet, regardless, her speed was not a matter to be underestimated, nor was her need of late to be reassured at every turn, as she laid her head against his chest. He stood there, arms at his sides, and stared down at the crown of yellow. 

"Wait," came the whisper. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you mad. I know this is you trying to help."

He let out a soft snort and felt her press closer in response. 

"And you're right that I should focus on the solution and not the problem. I don't know how well cut out I am for leadership, but...having you around...kind of makes it easier." She looked up then, chin resting on his armor, and met his narrowed gaze. "So, I'll try not to complain, okay? And you'll stay?" She stepped forward, closing what little space was left between them, and grasped hold of the breastplate. "Please, just tell me I'm stupid or insufferable. Call me a wench. I don't care. Just tell me that you aren't going anywhere." 

He scowled then, feeling his irritation rise, and grabbed her by the back of the neck. His fangs nearly sliced through her lip when he caught her mouth in a rough kiss. "Does that suffice?" he demanded upon pulling back. Yet she did not answer. Rather, she stood on tiptoe and sealed her lips firmly to his, as though angry his touch had been so brief, arms locked around his neck. He was barely aware of pinning her waist with his arm and dragging her to him, lifting her so that her feet dangled above the ground. His fingers buried themselves into her hair as he devoured her mouth with an ever-increasing appetite. And the more aggressive he became, the more she responded, the harder she kissed him. He could smell her, a suffocating, sweltering blanket that was beginning to smother, until he could breathe nothing but her. His tongue explored her, searching for more of that heat, until their teeth knocked together, and he tasted it.

Her blood.

His fang had nicked the inside of her lip and the flavor exploded onto his tongue, sharp and sweet and never quite forgotten. His eyes snapped open just as she took his face in her hands and pulled herself back, feet touching the ground once more, and at the same time holding him in place. Teeth clenched, tongue pushed against the roof of his mouth, he could feel the blood sliding down his throat, stoking the embers of want into scorching flames of need. He had her wrists in his hands before he noticed what he was doing. And even then, he moved her hands away and leaned down. She turned her face from him, and he growled low in his throat, easing his forehead against her hair.

"Damn you, woman," he rumbled, his mouth directly above her ear, and she shuddered in response.

"No, Sesshomaru," she said, and there was a resolution in her tone he had not been expecting. "You'll never forgive me if I let you."

He didn't like it, the harsh sound of her voice, the truth of her words, and clamped his mouth hard onto her throat in retaliation, reveling in the cry that sprang from her. He shifted closer, holding fast to her wrists and bringing her arms behind her back. He bore down on her, pressing himself against her, and let her feel his desire.

"Fuck!" came the rough curse. "Don't! Sesshomaru...you...you were just chewing me out for neglecting my duties. Stop making it worse!"

Duties...responsibilities...Guardians...war....

His brow furrowed and his fangs loosened their hold as he brought his mouth away and straightened. The blood lingered on his tongue, even as he swallowed, but he refrained from the useless gesture of shaking his head, despite how disorienting it was to regain his bearings. Yet once he was able to focus, he found himself peering down at a familiar face that was somehow flushed and pale simultaneously. There were deep creases in her forehead and her bottom lip was drawn tight between her teeth; she appeared truly anxious, the gleam in her eyes so oddly unguarded.

And he realized he still had her arms pinned. He released her and stepped back, only to have a scowl curl his lip when he saw the red imprint of his fingers on her skin. His reaction, what he felt in response and the rarity of it, made it...difficult to look at her, to the point where he walked off, his stride long and heavy, the anger punctuated with each step. He heard her follow, but did not slow his pace; however, she quickly fell into step beside him. He glanced over and saw that she was rubbing at her wrist. 

"Did I injure you?" 

"No," she said. "I'm just thinking...how everything keeps going to hell. But I'm fine, really." 

An appropriate comparison, he thought. Yet he could not fully agree with her. "My actions are inexcusable." 

"But the blood-"

"It was not your doing; I was careless." 

"I'm not hurt, Sesshomaru." 

"That's not the point," he said sharply, his patience starting to thin once again.

"What are you trying to say then?" she asked, sounding equally exasperated. "That you're sorry or something?"

For a moment, nothing was heard but the echo of heavy footsteps upon the ground as he felt the hot coil of anger inside...anger at himself. "Yes," he said.

"...oh...." he heard Lucidity whisper. "You...oh...." 

He was not entirely surprised at the color that had filled her face, the flush of embarrassment she continued to be afflicted with, regardless of how much time had passed since their union. "You say I never apologize," he told her. "I'm apologizing for this. I regret my actions and do not wish to repeat them." 

She rubbed at the back of her neck, the heat in her cheeks persisting. "Thank you," she muttered. "I...never imagined you'd ever admit...." 

"Do not become accustomed to it," he said, and saw the corners of her mouth turn upward briefly. 

"But," she began, "does this mean we have to go back to maintaining our distance again?" 

"It would be best."

There was little change in her expression, save for the color gradually fading from her skin, before there was a slight heave of her chest as she let out an inaudible sigh, brows contracting. He looked away then, at the land ahead of them, resolute in his decision. If a single embrace could undo him to such a degree, he did not consider this a mistake. And while it not escape his attention that Lucidity found reassurance in physical touch, her reason for needing it escaped his understanding. He could understand the fear of a coming war and the unknown aftermath that would follow. Yet her doubt in his sincerity of their union, her fear that he would leave, when his actions showed the contrary, was a frustrating mystery to him. Statements made by him may have caused some confusion, but he never imagined they would have such an affect on her. What had happened in her past to plant such a seed? Was it simply the mother who had abandoned an infant daughter? Or was there more?

A sudden weight against him had Sesshomaru peering down, taken aback to find that she had moved closer and laced her arm through his. "Lucidity," he began. 

"Shut up," she said softly, and laid her head against the mokomoko. "If you're going to deprive me again, at least give me this until we're back on Avalon." 

Indulging her was a mistake, he knew, with the temptation it could bring. Refusing her would be better. And yet the words never made it out; nor did he pull away. They walked in silence together, with the grass beneath their feet gradually shifting from brittle and dead to moist and green. The stale scent of the air disappeared, became easier to breathe, and he heard Lucidity inhale deeply before tightening her hold on his arm. He should detach himself from her. Her touch was.... It was not maddening, not yet, but the possibility was there. Yet his desire seemed to be waning, enough that his mind was clear, that he would not dare reach for her again. The taste of her blood still lingered, but it was not driving him into the usual frenzy. That was...an improvement; however, he had allowed himself to be influenced, if only for a heartbeat, but enough that Lucidity, again, bore his marks. What would have happened if she hadn't stopped him?

He could not continue like this. Neither of them could. He could think of only one other who might be able to provide him with answers; however, he did not know if he could bring himself to ask that person of all people, youkai or otherwise. It was a matter he would think on for the time being and come to a decision later. Once more, he glanced over at Lucidity, or rather what he could see of her with the mokomoko hiding her from view. He was acutely aware of her warmth against him, perhaps more than he was aware of than anything else in this moment. A dangerous thing, to be so inattentive of his surroundings, and he nearly extracted himself from her grasp. Yet he found it...more difficult than he cared to admit, though he had admitted to a great deal more over the last couple of days than he'd ever believed possible. He could never have predicted such outcomes when he chose to follow her here. 

He and Lucidity walked in silence, a rare one of comfort, as it had been not too long ago; an entire day journeying could be spent with hardly more than a few words exchanged, such was the ease they'd once had with one another. The countryside they traveled along now was empty and green, similar the scenery of their country. And yet the scents marked a stark contrast. There was nothing unpleasant about it, merely different, as if the world had been slightly altered to remind the daiyoukai that this was not his home. Miles of rolling hills and open fields, distant mountains and an utter lack of inhabitants made up their journey from the great lake to the entrance of Avalon.

The scent of salt water reached him long before the sea came into view, where the unmarked path they followed ended at the edge of a cliff. The echo of waves crashing against the base filled the air and served as a reminder of what awaited their return, other trivial matters that needed to be resolved. And just as he wondered if she had any interest in those illusive creatures, Lucidity came to a sudden stop before the precipice.

"I don't want anyone to know that we came here, Sesshomaru," she announced, peering up at him. "They don't need to know what's happened."

"I remember your warning," he said. "And you remember my conditions?"

She nodded. "I do," she said, and began to pull away as she moved towards forward.

Yet, he did not release her and she glanced back at him, a slight crease in her mouth. "We should resume our training, and you will teach me what the memories hold of the Princes and their ways of war."

She smiled then, but there was something decidedly forced about the expression. "I'm willing, if you believe it will help," she said, before drawing her arm from his. This time, he did not stop her, and she stepped off the edge of the cliff.

A heavy fog rushed in, as if their eyes had been blind to it until this precise moment, as Sesshomaru followed Lucidity onto the open air, only to be met with solid ground beneath his feet. The fog grew thicker. The scent of salt water slowly dwindled until it vanished altogether and there was nothing but a mass of these dark clouds on every side. Only he and Lucidity were of solid form in this world between worlds. And then the fog began to recede, faster than any natural occurrence could be possible, to reveal a large bridge of stone that marked the entrance into Avalon, wide enough to accommodate a small army to march side-by-side.

Nothing attempted to stop their entry. The land and forest beyond were quiet, the castle a distant silhouette against the midday sky. Though Lucidity had claimed this island was home to a great number of Fae creatures, he had encountered little, except for what he had seen upon their arrival. He could hear and smell nothing as they reached the paths of the forests. A horde of a thousand youkai would have brought more comfort than this unnatural stillness, which he ultimately found...unsettling.

Reaching the Sagashite of this domain was a relief, one he would never admit to, and he stood back while Lucidity touched its surface, waited as it began to glow, until she gestured for him to follow as she lighted upon the edge of the pool and stepped in. The moment he was beside her, power and water rose up around them. He caught a final glimpse of the empty forest before the island of Avalon vanished from view, knowing he would be content to never venture here again.

And to never travel by way of Sagashite again. The power of it had the daiyoukai gritting his teeth, fists clenched at his sides, and a dull pain throbbing in his ears by the time the water fell away, to return to its seemingly benign existence in the reflecting pool.

The discomfort alone would have been enough to irritate him. Watching Lucidity jump to the ground and peer back at him, forcing a smile onto her features as a way to ease their situation, would have been enough. But the stench that filled his senses was too much. It set his fangs on edge, brought a growl low in his throat, and he bolted out of the niche, into the darkness of the night, with Lucidity calling after him. He could hear her footsteps as she followed him across the veranda and through the door into the palace. Servants threw themselves aside with cries of alarm as he made his way through the halls, his focus solely on the smell that did not belong here. More infuriating it was when he finally located the source, coming to a halt in front of the banquet room. Inside, the intruder sat there, partaking in the food of this Isle as though he belonged here.

"Sesshomaru, what the hell?" Lucidity exclaimed, as she walked out from behind him. "What's going on? What-" And then she stopped upon seeing what had his attention.

The intruder rose to his feet and swept into a deep bow. "My apologies, Lady Lucidity, for this unannounced visit."

Sesshomaru had difficulty suppressing a scowl as Lucidity stepped forward.

"Masami?" she said. "What are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He hath returned! Sesshomaru's favorite person in the world! XD 
> 
> I hope everyone is still enjoying the story and these shocking admissions from Sesshy. Maybe marriage is finally agreeing with him. 
> 
> And apologies that this chapter took a bit longer to get out to you guys. When you see the next one, you'll know why. It kinda...got away from me.


	17. Chapter 17

"Why did you ever see fit to gift him with your hair?"

"It was a single strand in case of an emergency, as a way to lessen the blow of exiling the Vipers back to their land."

"They were exiled centuries before your arrival; your dismissal of them makes no difference."

"The Isle is not part of your territory, Sesshomaru, and this is where they wanted to stay. I had to do something to appease them; they would inevitably blame you and I really didn't want to deal with another blood feud. Leaving a path open to Masami put his people at ease."

"He is the only one with an open invitation, then?"

"Yes. I wasn't about to invite the whole lot-"

"Why him?"

Lucidity blinked, staring, before she managed to recover herself and put her hands on her hips, a gesture that was a forceful reminder of a certain miko berating her husband. "Is that the real issue you're having with this?" she demanded. "Not that I've allowed a Viper to come here, but that it's Masami?"

"I do not trust him."

"When it's motivation to keep his people safe, we know that we can trust him; that's why he was the one I gave the hair to. But you can't trust him with me, right? That's your problem with this. The question I have, though, is do you trust _me_ with _him_?"

The daiyoukai didn't speak, but glared at her as she stood before him, every inch of defiance.

"Do-you-trust-me?" she asked again, each word punctuated with a bite of anger. "Answer me."

He slid his arms into opposite sleeves. "The last time I answered such a question, you left me unconscious in the forest."

"Fine!" she snapped. "Have it your way. I'm going to speak with Masami. If you want to come with me, I won't stop you, but don't start anything, Sesshomaru. We don't have time for petty jealousy."

His eyes narrowed. "You assume much, woman."

"Whatever," she said, then spun on her heel and out of the empty banquet room. For a brief moment, the daiyoukai entertained the idea of leaving her on her own, but just as quickly dismissed it and followed after. The two of them strode through the halls together in a strained silence that did not last long, before she spoke again. "Try to remember something for me, Sesshomaru."

The door to the veranda came into view as he asked, "What is it?"

Blue eyes darted over to him, near lost behind her hair. "I'm already yours, and you're mine. Nothing is going to change that." And before he could respond, she'd looked away and reached for the door to pull it open.

His hand came to rest above hers, immediately pushing it shut, as he stood over her. The warmth of her body was so close, a forbidden fruit he would not taste. "I trust you, Lucidity," he whispered into her ear, and loathed how she shivered, how she was forced to turn her head away. But he saw her hand move towards his, felt the touch of her fingers, before she eased the door open and stepped outside, leaving him with naught but cold, empty air. 

Masami stood in the courtyard, at the edge of the veranda, where he had been instructed to wait and inclined his head at their approach. Sesshomaru, however, did not acknowledge him, but continued on his way down the steps and out onto the grass; he was content with allowing Lucidity to handle this problem if she was so intent upon the belly-crawling creatures.

"It's good to be back here," he heard Masami say. "The security of the Isle has always been a comfort; I feel guilty for having enjoyed it this past day without my Clan." 

"I will not be giving your people sanctuary," replied Lucidity, which eased the daiyoukai's irritation at the blatant attempt of manipulation.

"I would not presume-" the viper began.

"You've been waiting here since yesterday?" Lucidity cut in. 

Masami nodded. "Yes, my Lady. Your servants have been accommodating. They informed me you'd been called away and offered me lodging until your return." 

"I'm here now. What do you need?" 

"Well...it is not so much a need, my Lady, as it is a message I was sent here to deliver.” 

Sesshomaru peered back at the pair, at Masami's grievous expression and Lucidity's momentary surprise.

"I don't know if you are aware, but my people live off the coastline," Masami continued. "Something has been attacking our crafts with increasing frequency these last few weeks. Not just us either, but humans as well."

"...something?" Lucidity repeated. 

"Yes. It's decimating whatever it comes across. Many have died. There are rumors that every fishing village along the coast has suffered. People are afraid to go back out onto the water; at this rate, the stock of fish will dwindle into nothing by the time winter arrives."

"I see.... This thing wouldn't happen to be a giant sea creature by chance? Very large tentacles that are sinking the boats?" 

"Yes, yes!" exclaimed Masami. "Have you encountered it? That is one of the monsters that-" 

"One of?!" Lucidity echoed, and alarm rang clear in her voice. "What do you mean 'one of?'" 

"Well...as in, there is more than one creature that has been attacking us," was the tentative response, as if Masami feared a painful reprimand for stating the obvious. "There have been sightings of water dragons and serpents, larger than the vessels they destroy, giant turtles that have snapped men in half in their jaws, and a couple other creatures that I do not have names for. But now we have an increase of sharks and whales and nearly any sea animal that poses some sort of threat. It's as if the ocean itself has turned against us. We may yet find the source of this upset, but we were hoping you might be familiar with what is happening, if it is going on anywhere else in your domain." 

"This is the first I'm hearing about it," said Lucidity. "It seems...isolated to your area; I would have been aware of it otherwise. If these attacks spread to the rest of the country...." 

"The country will be devastated," finished Masami. “The Viper Clan will manage to survive, but I cannot speak for the humans.”

Lucidity let out a sudden groan, running both hands through her hair, and made her way down the veranda, away from the two men. "[I don't have time for this crap,]" Sesshomaru heard her mutter. "[Son of a bitch. Already killed two. Now there's a third? Plus dragons and serpents. What next? No, don't say that. You just jinxed yourself. Idiot!]" 

"Uh...my Lady, are you all right?" 

She waved a dismissive hand at the viper, keeping her back to them both. "What was the first monster that was spotted? The one with the tentacles?"

"I...think so, yes. Why-"

"Has anyone spotted youkai from the sea?"

"I have seen none for myself, and I've heard so many stories by this point that I cannot be certain. Are these youkai behind everything?"

Lucidity cast a brief glance in Sesshomaru's direction before looking away. "A strong possibility. We've been searching for them for weeks. We'll take care of it, Masami, so don't worry."

At this, the daiyoukai stepped forward. "We are under no obligation to aid the vipers again." 

"We aren't aiding anyone," Lucidity said, turning to face him. "We're settling a score."

"They have come to you twice now for help," he told her, "and give nothing in return." 

Suddenly, Masami came down from the veranda, announcing baldly, "We are prepared to offer our services. The other leaders and I actually discussed this matter before I left. Our swords and venom are yours, Lady Lucidity. Our magic, too, if you so desire." 

"I...I don't have need of any of that," she said, and her hesitancy had Sesshomaru peering over at her; though there was little he could understand about her discomfort over Masami's proposal.

"Perhaps not at this moment," the viper replied. "But I hope that you would count us among your allies should that day ever arrive." 

"A hollow compensation," said Sesshomaru, ignoring Lucidity's glance towards him. "But one that will suffice."

"Does this mean you will accept?" asked Masami, looking between them. 

Sesshomaru caught Lucidity's eye and saw the resignation of defeat in the lines of her face before she shook her head and let out a sigh. "If this deal placates everyone involved, I won't object," she said. 

"Thank you, my Lady," said Masami with a deep bow. "You have the undying gratitude of the Viper Clan. I pray that we will serve you well in the years to come." 

With his gaze downcast, Masami did not see the minute cringe in her expression as the daiyoukai did when she turned away. Yet it only served to further bewilder him, witnessing such reluctance to a bargain that was of little consequence. "Is there anything else, Masami?" she asked.

"Nothing that would demand your attention, my Lady, but would you have anything of me now? Some service I am able to render?"

"No," was the immediate answer. 

"Shall I take my leave, then?" 

Lucidity folded her arms, tilting her head back to peer up at the night sky. "If it's what you want." 

A sudden impulse to move forward, to intervene in a possibly violent manner, had every muscle in Sesshomaru's body stiffening as he fought the urge. Watching Masami approach her filled him with the irrational desire to drag her away, to ensure that the belly-crawling beast understood that his intrusive presence would not be tolerated. "And if it is not what I want?" came the soft question that had the daiyoukai flexing his claws. 

Once again, however, it was Lucidity's response that nullified him as she stepped away from Masami, regarding him with a slight frown. "Doing what we don't want can mean it is the better choice," she said. "If you have nothing more to tell me, then it's best for you to leave." 

Masami was quick to move back, inclining himself deeply at the waist. "As my Lady commands. I look forward to seeing you in my homeland and hope that you are able to put a stop to those responsible for the attacks. I will inform my people of your pending arrival; it will be a relief for them to know that you are coming." 

"Until then, Masami," Lucidity said, and the viper gave her a broad smile that Sesshomaru did not care for.

He came to stand beside Lucidity as the viper, having accomplished his purpose on the Isle, gave another bow of farewell, then turned and strolled away. Through the courtyard, beyond the Hahaoya no Shikyu, and out into the field, the daiyoukai watched until his form was swallowed by the darkened forest. "He is too forward with you," said Sesshomaru.

"Seems that way," muttered Lucidity.

"You agree, then?"

"I knew you wouldn't like his behavior. Why do you think I sent him away?" And yet, before Sesshomaru could deign to answer, she abruptly turned to face him. "Why did you do that?"

A frown creased his lips as he folded his arms once more. "Be specific, woman. I will not guess your meaning."

"Why did you accept his offer?" she demanded. "Why would you want to have anything to do with them?"

Sesshomaru gave her nothing but a silent stare, aware that she would not be so agitated if she didn't know the answer. And, indeed, she moved towards him, her hands forming into fists. 

"You did it because we could be going to war soon, didn't you? Because we could be facing the Princes?" 

"This upsets you?" 

"The vipers would be nothing but cannon fodder!" she shouted. "The Princes would slaughter them!" 

"If they know the risks and are willing, then you should allow it," replied the daiyoukai. 

"It's suicide!" 

"Sacrifices must be made in war."

"I'm not sending people to their deaths!" 

"If it is necessary to win, then you must." 

"Dammit, Sesshomaru! You-" 

Sesshomaru stepped up to her, so close that she balked and moved back before stopping herself as he peered down at her, his gaze hard and unamused by these repeated outbursts. "One who would lead listens to the advice of those more experienced. You may have the memories of another, but you, yourself, are ignorant of the ways of war, Lucidity. By your own admission, you know this." 

There was no response, no sound that rose from her. There was nothing but a fine tremor that filled her body as she glared up at him, the bones of her wrists straining with the tightening of her fists. Eventually, she managed to open her mouth, and yet she did not speak. She scowled when words failed her and cast her gaze to the ground. The sight...eased his own displeasure of the situation, seeing her admit defeat, knowing that she agreed, even if she never admitted aloud. 

"You...are so damn frustrating," she finally muttered, to which he responded by placing a short distance between them and unsheathing Tenseiga. 

"Do you wish to alleviate your frustrations?" he offered, and she looked up with a frown, blinking in surprise. But then, a slow smile curved her lips and she held a hand out to her side, summoning the Guardian's power that manifested into the weapon of her choice. With the war scythe clutched in both hands, she tilted her head in invitation with that smile still in place, both mocking and alluring in the same breath. 

* * *

Lucidity brushed a hand through her hair for what felt like the umpteenth time. Sleep would have been wonderful, glorious even; a chance to give her overwhelmed brain a chance to recover. But despite what Thalia had claimed about half-breed Guardians being able to find a bit of extra sleep, the ability so far eluded Lucidity. The past few nights since leaving the Isle had yielded nothing in the way of a one-way trip to dreamland. She'd spent so many long hours going over places that needed to be searched, better ideas that could be implemented, traveling to the territory of the Viper Clan, sea monsters to battle, that she was ready to drop on the spot and refuse to move until the next seasonal slumber came and she could pass out. There was just...so much.... The Princes. The Guardians. The North's death. The West's refusal to accept her leadership. The role of leadership itself! 

She hated it. She hated that there was so little she could do about what had gone wrong, that there was nothing she could do to fix it. Just...prepare. Yet her training with Sesshomaru seemed so...so damn laughable. Pitting her strength against his, teaching him about how the Princes operated while he taught her about war, gave her no reassurance. The Princes were too powerful and Sesshomaru, determined though he was, passionate in his fight, did not stand a chance.

And, frankly, Lucidity had trouble believing she did either. Was it such a shock that she fought not to cry every night, every day? Traveling with Sesshomaru, whether it was dark or light, these endless worries threatened to get the better of her. On the rare times they stopped, to rest or bathe after a bought of sparring, that was when it was the worst. That was when she felt like staying where she was, to let the earth swallow her whole, and she separated herself from Sesshomaru with some feeble excuse or other to weep in solitude. Sometimes for a few minutes. Sometimes longer. And she could never go to him. He had so little patience, and she'd promised she wouldn't complain. She couldn't let him see, couldn't let him hear.... Though, he must have smelled the tears on her. The way he looked at her when she came back, the way his mouth moved in that pensive gesture of his, he must have suspected. But he never said a word, never indulged her, and she kept everything to herself, this entire...hopelessness of such a bleak, uncertain future.

And now that they had reached the village, she didn't want to venture further. Going within the boundaries of the human world, she would become a blight upon the quiet, peaceful existence of her friends. She could not bring her problems to them. She wouldn't.

"Lucidity."

She looked away from the villagers milling about their lives in the distance, and over to a certain daiyoukai, who had already walked ahead and was now peering back at her. If he was irritated or bewildered, she didn't know, but she said nothing as he watched her with that ever-scrutinizing gaze of his.

"You are the one who decided we should fetch Jaken and Ah-Un," he said. "Why do you delay us now?"

"I was just thinking," was her vague reply as she approached him. Yet his stare was persistent, a mute command for a better explanation, and she let out a sigh. "What should we tell them, about where we've been, about why we had to leave so suddenly? They're bound to ask."

"It is none of their business," said Sesshomaru as he set off.

"I believe that has already been established," she said. "Look, you may be able to ignore them without consequence, but I don't have that luxury. If they ask me, I'm not sure what to tell them. And lying-"

"You are a poor liar, Lucidity," he cut in.

"That has been established as well," she grumbled.

"You omit, distract, or tell half-truths," he continued.

"Figured that out, have you?"

He shot her a cold glare. "You cannot lie; don't insult yourself with the attempt."

"I'm not sure how this is suppose to help if they-"

"You are not obligated to answer any of their questions," came the sharp interruption. "You have refused their demands before and can do so again, or have you forgotten your resolve so easily?"

It was Lucidity's turn to glare. And the anger was refreshing, like plunging into a cold river on a hot day, and she held on to that feeling. She curled her lip at the daiyoukai, at his uncanny ability to deliver an insult, whether he was praising or advising at the same time. Was it some sort of way for him to save face? Making a person feel like an idiot while helping simultaneously? Maybe one day she'd call him out on it, when she wasn't pissed off about it. Instead, she quickened her pace and marched on ahead, not deigning to respond, exactly as he'd instructed.

The villagers were congenial in their greetings. As she walked the familiar paths along the fields and through the huts, many heads nodded in her direction. Some called out to her, bowing, friendly smiles and all. Very few approached with the daiyoukai not far behind her. Only the children, either more trusting or oblivious to how dangerous this particular inu could be, ran up to greet her. Of course, when they realized she hadn't brought gifts or treats this time, very few decided to stay. Though one little girl, no more than four, was quite insistent on being picked up. And as soon as Lucidity stopped to oblige, tiny hands grabbed hold of her blonde hair.

"What are you doing?" Lucidity asked, just as she felt Sesshomaru's presence come to a stop behind her.

"Your hair isn't warm," she said, with an unexpected pout to her lips.

Lucidity blinked. "Is there a reason why it should be?"

"People say that you steal the light of the sun, and that is why your hair is yellow and your eyes are blue, because the sun makes the sky blue like your eyes. Is that true? Do you really take the sunlight?"

A burst of laughter broke from Lucidity. She couldn't help it. The seriousness of the girl's tone, her earnest expression, when telling such an absurd tale, was rather adorable, and such a stark contrast to the doom and gloom that they had been dealing with for the last week. It was a welcomed relief. But then she noticed a woman approaching, very hesitant and anxious, her gaze darting from Sesshomaru to the girl, whom Lucidity lowered to the ground.

"If anyone asks," she said, crouching in front of her, "tell them I only take what I need and leave the rest for everyone else. Now, I think your mother is waiting for you, so get going."

"Okay!" chimed the girl as she darted off in the woman's direction, oblivious to the worry she had caused.

Lucidity straightened and glanced over at Sesshomaru, who was watching the pair of mother and daughter. "Stealing the sun," she remarked, and he looked at her. "That's a new one. A better story would be a sun god embracing a mortal woman and fathering children with golden hair. Don't you think?"

"Stories do not interest me," he said.

What a shock. And yet, before she could reply, a new voice rang out.

"Lucidity!"

And Lucidity turned to see an all-too-familiar group coming their way. Only three for now. Well, four, if one counted the infant being pushed into Inuyasha's arms by Kagome. It was she who had spoken and the one who was rushing ahead of Inuyasha and Shippo, beaming brightly. Lucidity was never given a chance to respond properly as a pair of arms was flung around her neck, hugging her tighter than ever before.

A movement out of the corner of her eye distracted her, if but for a moment. And she watched as Sesshomaru continued down the path, passing Inuyasha and Shippo on his way. No words were exchanged, not even a glance, save for the nervous look the kitsune cast the daiyoukai.

"O! Lucidity, you're back!" Kagome exclaimed right in Lucidity's ear, which brought her sharply round, coupled with a nice ringing in the air now. "You've been away too long! I'm so sorry about what happened at the festival! I'm so sorry that I upset you. I never should have said those things. I was upset about the girl we had buried that day. I couldn't help her and...I just...." And here, Kagome stepped back and clasped Lucidity's hand in both of hers, inclining her head in a very unexpected bow. "I took it out on you and I'm so...so sorry! Please accept my apology, Lucidity! You're a good person and I don't want to lose your friendship and-"

"Kagome, it's fine!" Lucidity finally cut it. "We're fine. It's all good. I'm not angry; I never really was."

Kagome blinked, eyes brimming with tears. "You weren't? But...you left so quickly, without saying anything."

"I fell asleep," Lucidity told her. "Sesshomaru had to take me back to the Isle."

"Oh! Then...you really weren't. I'm so glad!" The priestess smiled and released her hand. "But why were you gone for so long?"

"Yeah!" said Shippo as he and Inuyasha reached them, and the kitsune promptly hopped up onto Kagome's shoulder. "Where did you go? Some place new? Did you bring us anything?"

"Shippo! You should say hello first before asking for things," Kagome scolded, while Lucidity shook her head.

"I don't have anything, Shippo. Maybe next time," she said.

The kitsune was visibly disappointed, even as he accepted the lack of presents with a sullen. "Okay," he mumbled. "But...are you going to tell us where you went?"

"Yeah, that's what we'd like to know," said Inuyasha from where he stood apart from the others; he was currently attempting to dislodge his daughter's hold on his hair, but as soon as he managed to free himself from one fist, she immediately grabbed on with another. He muttered a curse as he went round and round with her, before his gaze darted up to Lucidity. "Well?" he asked. "You gonna tell us what happened? You show up, the ground shakes, then you immediately disappear, and we've had to deal with Jaken crying about it every day."

"What are you talking about, Inuyasha?" piped up Kagome before Lucidity could answer. "When was she here?"

Inuyasha froze like a deer in the headlights, staring at her with his mouth ajar, while Asami squealed above him and yanking freely on his hair. "I...." the hanyou began. "I...er...she wasn't.... I mean...."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Kagome shouted, stomping up to him. "You know I've been wanting to see her for weeks! If you knew she was in the area, you should have taken me to her. Why did you go off on your own to see her?"

"Don't blame him, Kagome," said Lucidity, and the priestess whirled around, face flushed with anger, while Inuyasha gave her a look of relieved gratitude over his wife's shoulder. "I was just passing through when he came across me. I asked him not to say anything because I didn't have time to visit. Sesshomaru and I have been searching for some youkai, and then the earthquake happened and...." Lucidity shook her head. "It's just been a bit crazy is all."

"Will you tell us about it?" asked Kagome.

Something cold and heavy sank into the pit of Lucidity's stomach. Yet, rather than answer, she cast around, looking for a way to stall, and found herself asking, "Where are Miroku and Sango?"

"They're home with their kids," said Inuyasha, who had resumed the hair wrestling with Asami.

"How about we all head over there?" Kagome suggested with a smile. "I'm sure Sesshomaru has gone off to find Rin and he will want to visit with her."

"Yeah! Then we can get some food and Lucidity can tell us everything!" Shippo declared.

Lucidity could do nothing but cringe inwardly and resign herself to following her friends through the village. How long, she wondered, will Sesshomaru want to stay?

The greetings from Miroku and Sango were as usual: a warm, welcoming smile from the monk and a smothering embrace from the daemon slayer. Their brood raced in circles around the many legs of the adults, including their baby son, waddling around on short legs, eager to catch up with his sisters. Inuyasha eventually managed to untangle Asami from his hair and set her down, and it was not long before she was crawling after her playmates. Out on the porch, the meal that Shippo was desperately after was served. Bowls of rice and cooked fish were passed around.

And yet the children were too keen on their games to be bothered with something as trivial as food. Lucidity found a spot on the ground, sitting in their midst to keep an eye on them, which gave the adults and Shippo a chance to eat in peace. She watched as one of the girls chased her twin with a large sunflower. At first, she couldn't understand why the twin was shrieking so much, until she spotted a large, fuzzy worm on top of the flower. Their brother was making nonsense noises while he tried to keep up with his sisters, and it was such a normal, predictable display of lives free of care. Lucidity didn't even realize how mesmerized she'd become until she noticed that Asami had sneaked up on her. The baby was crawling over her thigh by the time she looked down and fell face-first into her lap before she could grab onto her.

"She likes you," Kagome giggled as Lucidity held the infant up at eye-level.

Inuyasha snorted. "She likes everyone, even Sesshomaru. The kid's got weird taste, kinda like you and Rin."

"Well, we all like you, Inuyasha, for some reason," said Lucidity. "What does that say about your character, I wonder."

"Bitch," he muttered through a mouthful of food.

"Jerk," she snickered in return, and he grinned.

"I don't get you two," Kagome sighed. "But so long as you're getting along, I won't complain; just try not to use such language in front of the children."

"They're gonna hear and see a lot worse in this world," said Inuyasha. "They should get used to it now and learn how to deal. For fuck's sake, woman, do you know what I had to go through as a kid? I mean, shit, I was lucky to survive-"

"OSUWARI!"

The hanyou kissed the ground, and his near-empty bowl went flying. Sango caught it with barely an upwards glance in one hand, her other still holding her own bowl, and let out a sigh as she set it aside.

"Serves you right," Shippo grinned at the twitching hanyou stuck in the earth.

"I told you not to use that language, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled. "This time period might be more violent than the one I grew up, but that does not mean I will have our daughter listening to that foul mouth of yours!"

Inuyasha managed to jerk his head up. "Dammit, woman, I know that-"

"OSUWARI!"

"GAH!"

"Obviously you don't if I have to keep reminding you!"

"All right! I'm sorry, Kagome. Give it a rest already! That shi-stuff hurts!"

"So, Lucidity!" Miroku began, his voice easily carrying over the bickering couple. "How have your travels been?"

The lighthearted amusement of the moment was punctured in an instant and Lucidity felt the smile slip from her face. She was still holding Asami, letting the girl tug at her robes and hair, as the twins resumed their chasing, their brother struggling after them. She said nothing, but watched the children in their play, and Shippo joined before long, setting his now empty bowl aside, and then darted in the fray.

"Lucidity?" Sango called. "Everything okay?"

No...no, everything was not okay. Everything had gone to hell! Sitting here in this perfect little world of mortals was a complete sham! She shouldn't be here. She didn't belong! And it was so irresponsible of her to pretend otherwise. She'd sent the other Guardians out to search for threats and she hadn't even begun. She'd wanted to collect Jaken because she knew how devastated he was, being left behind. And now she had to deal with this! The fury was churning so hot in her chest, building, rising into her throat, which began to constrict, making her eyes burn.

"Lucidity?"

It was Inuyasha this time, sitting up and ignoring the dirt falling from his hair as he frowned at her. She forced herself to swallow, forced herself to ignore the anger, ignore the discomfort, the guilt, the stress, the...just all of it. She began to extract her hair out of Asami's grasp, a ready-made excuse not to look at anyone.

"Things have been difficult," she was able to admit, her voice low, but sturdy as she went through the motions. "But it's been manageable. I have work to do after we leave the village, so I doubt this will be a long visit." 

"Has something happened?" asked Miroku.

"Nothing that concerns any of you," was her reply, and it was...astonishing how easy the words came to her.

"Hey!" snapped Inuyasha. "What kind of answer is that? You sound like Sesshomaru."

"Yeah," said Kagome. "You know we just want to help."

Finally, Lucidity was able to free herself from Asami and settled the baby onto her lap, dragging her hair back and out of reach of those strong, tiny fists that continued to search for stray strands. "I know," she said. "But you can't. None of you can. Two of you died last time. Nearly three, if memory serves."

"So, something _did_ happen," said Miroku, putting his food down. "Something with the Princes of Death. That's why you don't want to tell us." 

A scowl pulled at her lips. "There was an emergency and I had to leave, yes. There is nothing I can do to put right what happened, so there is definitely nothing that any of you can do. And that is all I will say on the matter, so leave it alone."

"Please, Lucidity," said Kagome as she leaned forward, bowl clasped tightly in both hands. "Don't shut us out. We're family, aren't we? Let us help you."

"I'm not shutting you out!" snapped Lucidity, causing Kagome to jerk back in surprise. "I'm trying to keep you safe! And don't pull that family crap with me, Kagome. Don't try and guilt me into giving you answers. This is my decision as Guardian of the East and I will not have any of you involved. Understand? I don't need anyone."

The tension in the air was palpable and the silence pressed against the ears like a high ringing note. The children continued with their laughter and games, while looks were exchanged between Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha. Yet Kagome had eyes only for Lucidity. The two women sat in their respective spots, brown and blue eyes locked together in an unseen battle, until the darker of the pair abruptly narrowed. Lucidity felt her heart against her ribs as Kagome slammed her bowl down, rose, and came to stand in front of her. Not a word was spoken. Lucidity did not budge, was barely aware of the infant moving about in her lap. And then Kagome crouched down, took her squirming daughter, before turning on a sharp heel and walking off.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha called out.

"Don't follow me, Inuyasha," she said without looking back. "I need some time to myself."

But Inuyasha was already on his feet and padding after her. "Wait a second, Kagome!"

"OSUWARI!"

"Maybe it's best to heed her advice," said Miroku, leaning over from his seat on the porch to peer down at the Inuyasha-shaped hole. "Leave her alone for now and go look for her after she has had a chance to calm down."

There was much grumbling and cursing from the hanyou as the power of the beads wore off and he was able to right himself, shaking the dirt and rocks from his hair. With a scowl, he folded his arms within the sleeves of his haori and promptly turned a hard glare onto Lucidity, who was still sitting quietly on the ground.

"I'm not apologizing," she said at once.

"It's okay," said Sango as she began collecting the discarded bowls. "We know you have your reasons."

"Though I must admit, the ways of the Guardian continue to baffle me," said Miroku. "It would be fascinating to learn more, if you would be willing to teach me."

"To teach us," his wife put in just before disappearing inside the hut.

"Maybe some other time," said Lucidity. "I'm not up to giving lessons right now."

"Keh!"

She peered over at Inuyasha, who had not stopped bristling with anger, his clothes and skin bearing the marks of the most recent abuse at the hands of the priestess. Was it so different from her and Sesshomaru lashing out at each other? "She may be upset with me now," Lucidity began, and caught a glimpse of fangs as Inuyasha sneered, "and she has taken it out on you. But wouldn't you rather her be furious today and alive later? I mean, do you really want her going up against another Prince of Death? One was bad enough. Imagine what could happen with the remaining three."

The bristling stopped and Inuyasha blinked, straightening and staring at Lucidity as if she had just cast a magical spell that made him see the light.

"Just let me be the bad guy," she continued. "And you can go comfort her after I've reduced her to tears."

"Huh...that's not a bad idea," he said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully and peering up at the cloudless sky. "Be a nice change for once."

Lucidity managed a small smile, then peered over at Miroku, just as Sango emerged and knelt down beside him. "And I know you two don't want to see another battle with Morstua's brothers, not after your children nearly became orphans."

The two glanced at one another, before Sango spoke. "We may not want to, but we will if necessary."

"Like hell," said Lucidity. "I wasn't above knocking Sesshomaru out last time. I could imprison him if I so choose. What makes you think I won't do the same to you?"

Sango rolled her eyes, then suddenly asked, "Does he know about whatever is was that happened?" Lucidity nodded and the daemon slayer let out a soft sigh. "Good. I'm glad you have him, at least."

A sigh of her own broke from Lucidity. "Yeah...there's that, at least," she muttered, unfolding her legs and stretching them out as she leaned back on her hands. She wondered how Sesshomaru's visit was going, if he was ready to leave or not, being so close to so many humans. If Jaken was with them, he must be ecstatic and eager to be on his way. What had it been like for the imp, forced to mingle in the village? Or had he hidden out in the forest with Ah-Un?

Something touched her finger. At first, she ignored it, thinking it was nothing more than a blade of grass being tossed by the wind, even when the sensation began to move upward. It wasn't until she felt the same touch on a couple more fingers, followed by the mild weight of something on her knuckles, that she glanced down.

"[FUCK!]" she cried out, and jerked her arm up. A very large, very black beetle was sent tumbling to the ground and she immediately flicked it away. There was a vindictive pleasure in watching it sail through the air and disappear into the grass, where the children and Shippo quickly converged on it, while Lucidity scowled and rubbed at her hand, her skin crawling with the remembered sensation of its tiny legs moving over her skin. A bark of laughter had her peering around at Inuyasha, who made no effort to hide his amusement, unlike Sango and Miroku, who at least had the decency of covering up their grins; and yet their shoulders were shaking with mirth.

"You take out a son of Death, but you can't handle a little beetle?" Inuyasha jeered. "Ha! You're such a girl!"

"They're disgusting, all right?!" she shouted. "I've always hated those things, ever since I was kid. I woke up once to a roach crawling on my neck. My father thought I was being murdered with all the screaming coming from my room."

"Youkai and sea monsters and Princes of Death, and you lose your head over a freaking bug!" the hanyou practically howled, red in the face with laughter, tears starting to glisten from the corners of his eyes.

"I-Inuyasha, stop!" Lucidity chided, and yet her attempt at scolding was pitiful, as a chuckle bubbled to the surface. "Stop-stop already! It's not f-funny!"

"No, it's fucking hilarious!" Inuyasha declared, doubled over and clutching at his sides. "Big, powerful demigod screams over a beetle."

"I didn't scream!"

And now Miroku and Sango had joined in, the monk with his head tossed back and his wife gripping her stomach, and Lucidity finally admitted defeat. All four of them lost themselves to their own laughter, falling into this shared ecstasy of grand amusement and delight. And for Lucidity, it was such a rare and strange treat, one that filled her with a pleasure so different from that of the flesh, but a pleasure, nonetheless, that she did not want to end. Gods, how she wished it never would!

Yet, of course, it did. Not for the others, though. Just her, when she felt an unexpected tug on the back of her robes and something being dropped inside, sliding between clothing and skin. Her eyes flew wide. She didn't need to see to understand. She could feel it! Squirming and scampering with its many feet along her bare back. With a shriek she couldn't suppress, she leapt up, whirling around, hands grabbing at the back of her robes, to see the twins and Shippo fleeing for cover and the infant clapping his hands from where he sat watching.

"You little brats!" Lucidity cried out. "Which one of you did that?! Oh my gods, get it out! Someone-AH!"

Nothing but ringing laughter answered her, both from the children and the adults, as she danced on the spot, a great deal of dignity forgotten. There was no daughter of any goddess here, just a woman having a panic attack as a beetle crawled inside her clothing. She made many attempts to seize it through her robes, and yet refrained from crushing it at the same time; the last thing she wanted was the guts of an insect all over her. And with so much tugging and pulling on the material, it wasn't long before it began to loosen, but she didn't have the mind to stop until one of her shoulders was suddenly bare.

Shit! She couldn't strip here in front of everyone! And she couldn't...couldn't act on the obvious solution.

And then she felt the beetle slip lower, desperate in its own way to find an exit. Further into the robes? No. Down a thigh? No, back up it went. Up her back, around her side, down again. With a shout of frustration, Lucidity began to hop, hoping to dislodge the damn thing, and heard renewed guffaws of her audience.

"You idiot!" Inuyasha cackled. "Just let yourself become incorporeal already and it'll fall out."

Fuck.... Fuck, fuck, fuck! Maybe, just maybe she could get away fast enough. She'd held her own against the West before she'd become too disorientated. And Sesshomaru...he'd never suspected.

Seeing no alternative, or perhaps too panicked to manage, she did not consider any other options and did as the hanyou said. And the world spun away from her. Like being caught in a loop, she couldn't stop it. Vaguely, she was aware that the object of her panic had dropped to the ground as she spirited herself across the grass and up the hill, away from the hut in an effort to put as much distance between herself and the others as possible. She had only one clear thought churning through her: she couldn't let anyone see. If she could just get far enough....

Yet everything was wavering around her. The earth was up, the sky was down. There was a pressure, a discomfort of both mind and body that was rapidly becoming worse. Each time it was worse! She could barely see, barely focus, could only feel the grass, smell the soil. Voices echoed in the distance as her body collided with the ground. But the world never stopped its spinning. Faster and faster until everything began to fade, became murky, and finally went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a hefty chapter, but somehow I feel like not much happened. Looks like someone is about to get busted, though, for keeping secrets! And of all things, brought down by a beetle. Bleh! Nasty buggers. Hope y'all enjoyed!


	18. Chapter 18

The miko was angry.

The piercing glare fixed on him was unnecessary. The purposeful gait in which she walked was enough to determine her unpleasant mood from a distance, long before she reached the outskirts of the village where he had located Jaken and Rin. Accustomed though he was to her towering rages, Sesshomaru had difficulty imagining what action on his part could have provoked her. Normally it would involve an attempt on her life or Inuyasha's, and nothing of the sort had taken place in several years. Perhaps he should reconsider where he stood on that matter; he would prefer to earn whatever tirade the miko intended to subject him to.

Sesshomaru, reclined in the shade of a tree, peered over to where Jaken and Rin were knelt upon the ground, lost in their work of digging up roots for the old miko. A basket of collected herbs lay beside them, steadily being filled, even after his arrival. It was no different than the day of the festival; Rin had not allowed herself to become distracted from the tasks Kaede had set for her, regardless of his immediate presence. He approved, if not begrudgingly.

"We're almost done, my lord!" Jaken called out upon noticing the daiyoukai watching them. "It won't be long, and then I can fetch Ah-Un for you and-Oh! Kagome! What are you doing here?"

The miko had walked into their midst, carrying her child on her hip and glowering down at Sesshomaru, before she turned to the others. "Rin, can you watch Asami for a bit? I need to speak with Sesshomaru."

"What business could you possibly have with my lord?" Jaken demanded as Rin hurried over to take the infant.

"Quiet, Jaken," said Sesshomaru, and the imp nearly choked on the next words that never made it out.

Meanwhile, as Rin returned to gathering roots with Asami now beside her, Kagome knelt in front of him, hands clenched tightly upon her knees and her expression one of fierce disapproval. What had he done to offend her? The question intrigued him, and yet her mute glare was becoming irksome. Did she wish for him to guess? To ask? He would not indulge her antics and soon looked away, waiting for her to speak. He did not have to wait long.

"What's going on with Lucidity?!"

Sesshomaru peered back at the miko. Though he did not care to fathom what went on in a female's head, he should have surmised the topic of this one's irritation. 

"What's wrong with her?" Kagome pressed. "She won't talk to us. We know something happened, something with the Princes, but she won't tell us anything about it."

"And what makes you believe that I will oblige?" he replied.

"Because there's more to it!" she snapped. "I get that Lucidity wants to protect us, but she's really upset. She almost started crying when we were talking, and that isn't like her. Haven't you noticed anything-"

"Your underhanded methods of getting information do not impress," he said. "I will not go against Lucidity's wishes."

Kagome was not deterred and leaned forward with that piercing glare of hers. "Even if it means stopping her from going off on her own again?"

"She has made her promises to me, miko, and that is my only concern."

"Your only concern?" she repeated, and there was a mocking note in her tone that had his patience quickly evaporating. "So, you don't care how sad she is? Just like she was when she first came here, when she was alone and afraid all the time?"

A fist clenched within his sleeve. "Is there a point to your ramblings?"

Kagome slammed her hands onto the ground, eyes burning from beneath her dark hair, and the chill of fury in that gaze gave him pause, perhaps even a fleeting insight into what made Inuyasha cower under the wake of his wife's temper. "You had better be taking care of her, Sesshomaru," she said, and the warning in her voice was unmistakable.

"Do not lecture me of my duties, miko," he said. "I am her Protector. You are merely-"

"No!" shouted Kagome. "No, not as her Protector! You need to take care of her as her husband, more than you are now, because it's obvious that you're not. She let slip that she doesn't need anyone in this fight of hers, which means that she feels like she can't rely on anyone. Do you get that? She isn't simply refusing to tell us what happened. She isn't talking to us at all. She's being distant, even cruel, and I'm worried about her. So, if we can't be there for her, you need to be. That's your biggest job now, the most important. Got it?"

That was it then. That was the point. The miko was not after any practical information; she was anxious over her friend's state of mind. And Sesshomaru was...uncertain about how to respond. He did not care for the lecture, at being admonished, least of all by a human, but he also found himself disconcerted. The accuracy of the miko's deduction made him...uncomfortable. His cold gaze was settled on her, but he did not reply, even as she continued to glare at him, perhaps waiting for a response that he would not give.

"How dare you!"

Jaken, however, was another matter, as he came running over, having abandoned the roots in favor of coming to his lord's defense. "How dare you speak to Sesshomaru-sama with such disrespect!" the imp yelled, waving the two-headed Staff above his head as always. "You should be punished for your insolence, wench! I should burn you to a cinder, leave nothing but ash behind for that pathetic hanyou to find." 

"Kagome!"

On reflex, Jaken dove to the ground, Staff landing with a clatter beside him, as he covered his head in fear of imminent attack. Sesshomaru considered his ineptitude for a moment, before rising to his feet, along with the miko, who appeared perplexed at Inuyasha's sudden arrival. Skidding to a halt in front of them, the hanyou peered around, at Jaken shaking on his stomach, over to Rin holding Asami, and finally sparing Sesshomaru a quick glance.

"Good, you're here," he said, which only served to increase the confusion; he was never pleased to see Sesshomaru. 

"Inuyasha, what's going-Hey!" Kagome exclaimed as she was dragged forward by the hanyou.

"Come on, both of you," said Inuyasha, pulling his wife onto his back. "It's Lucidity; she passed out."

The daiyoukai didn't move. Even as Inuyasha bounded away, he stood rooted to the spot, his mind processing, his body...refusing. He knew this was shock, this...coldness inside, and it made him hesitate. A second, only a second, but a second too long. He could not hesitate, not in battle, not now. And as he finally set out to pursue the hanyou, he heard his servant calling after him, and yet could not focus on what was said. It wasn't important. He knew what was, even before the miko interfered.

On the hill that overlooked the hut of the monk and daemon slayer, the others were gathered. The miko was already clambering down from Inuyasha, to kneel beside the still form on the ground. Words were being exchanged in hushed tones as the children pushed through the legs of the adults, eager in their curiosity and lack of understanding. Save for the kitsune, who let out a startled cry and jumped back when the daiyoukai landed beside the group.

"S-Sesshomaru! I-I didn't mean.... I'm so sorry!" the boy wailed, and suddenly flung himself down in a prostrated bow. "I didn't mean to scare her so badly! This is my-" 

"Don't be stupid, Shippo," Inuyasha cut in. "You didn't do this." 

"Your prank was harmless," said the daemon slayer, while she and her husband gathered the children. "This isn't your-" 

"Enough," said Sesshomaru as he walked through the group, forcing the monk and daemon slayer to step back with their brood. He peered down at Lucidity, quiet and unmoving upon the grass, with the miko's hands inspecting her cheeks and forehead for ailments that would not be there, the back of the head for injuries that were never sustained. "What happened?" 

"It's my fault," the kitsune began.

"Would you shut up already about the damn beetle?" Inuyasha snarled. "She didn't faint because she was afraid. Something else is wrong with her. She passed out after she shifted forms."

"Shifted?" echoed Kagome, peering up at him. "She's done that plenty of times. Why would it affect her like this?"

"Beats the hell outta me. This ever happen before, Sesshomaru?"

Before?

The daiyoukai narrowed his eyes. The last time she'd fallen unconscious was on Avalon, during her battle with the West; he had assumed the West was responsible. And the Panther Divas had mentioned she'd arrived in their territory with previously sustained injuries, but he had not given their claim much consideration. Again, he'd assumed otherwise, that she had encountered another youkai or that the Panthers were being dishonest to save themselves from his wrath. And yet now he doubted. Now, he began to wonder. She'd been walking everywhere as of late, to and from the village, on the Isle, on Avalon. And even when the Mother had summoned the Guardians, she had run to the Isle, to Sagashite. When was the last time he'd seen her transform? Before Avalon, when had-

"Sesshomaru? Is everything all right? Do you know what's wrong with her?"

The miko's voice cut through his thoughts. He glanced at her, then back to Lucidity. No...no, he did not know what was wrong, and he found that just as unsettling as he did upon learning how long this had been going on without his realizing. She'd been hiding it from him. It was exactly as the miko had deduced; Lucidity did not trust him, did not...rely on him as she should. And the insult of it was maddening.

A shadow fell across the group. Sesshomaru looked up to see Ah-Un land a short distance away, bearing both Jaken and Rin, and his decision was made in that instant; he realized he had no choice, to seek out the only person whose experience may have the answers. Rin had dismounted, carrying Asami, and was sprinting over by the time he had knelt to lift Lucidity into his arms.

"Is she okay, Sesshomaru-sama?" the girl asked, immediately changing direction to trail after him as he made his way over to Ah-Un. Yet, before he could speak, the miko's voice rang out. 

"Wait, wait! Where are you taking her? You know what's wrong, don't you? Tell us. Don't just leave. We need to-" 

"I am under no obligation to explain myself to you," said the daiyoukai as he took Ah-Un's reins from Jaken. Still holding Lucidity in one arm, he mounted the dragon, Jaken shifting out of the way, and peered over at the humans and hanyou who had followed. His gaze came to rest on Kagome. "Even if I did know, miko, you do not make demands of me." 

"You jerk, Sesshomaru!" she shouted and, though her face was flushed with anger, he could smell the salt water in the air. "Stop being so selfish! You're not the only one who cares for her!" 

"Just tell us where you're going," said Inuyasha, stepping forward. 

"Please, Sesshomaru," said the daemon slayer. 

The soft groan that broke from Lucidity effectively ended the dispute. Their attention turned in her direction and Sesshomaru peered down at her with a frown as she groaned again, louder this time, and pressed the heel of her hand against her temple. There was pain in her expression when her eyes opened, but it soon vanished as she blinked rapidly, taking in the change of her surroundings. She started to sit up, looking around at the others, and then up at Sesshomaru. She appeared...anxious, and that did nothing to alleviate his foul mood. 

"Wait, stop! Come back!" 

"You can't just leave like this!" 

"Asshole!" 

"Let us know that you're all right, Lucidity!" 

"Please return soon, Sesshomaru-sama!" 

The cacophony of shouts eventually faded into the distance as, with a subtle command from the daiyoukai, Ah-Un rose into the air and left the village, and its irritating inhabitants, far behind. The wind had chilled touch as it whipped around them, tossing hair and fur and clothing alike. Out of sight, Jaken shifted and Sesshomaru felt the mild squeeze of his grip on the mokomoko, letting him know that the imp was nervous with the speed in which Ah-Un traveled. However, the daiyoukai did not ease the pressure of his heels against the dragon's sides, not even as the lands became a blend of shapeless color below, and he stared straight ahead towards the horizon, at the sun that was starting its descent in the sky. 

"Sesshomaru?" 

His hand tightened on the reins. "Quiet, woman," he said. "We will talk later; for now, I prefer silence." 

"Will you at least slow down? My head is killing me...." 

He looked at her then, at the furrow in her brow, the way she turned her face into the mokomoko, and the hand over her ear in a poor attempt to block out the change of pressure in the air. And there was a twist of fury in his chest, the reaction that was expected after learning she would dare hide such secrets from him. Yet there was also the pull of something lower, the chill in his stomach, and the discomfort of it was equally infuriating, as she was, for being the one who infected him with it. In the end, he slowed the dragon's pace as she wished and her hand soon fell away, to lay across her lap. She never spoke, never opened her eyes, and their travels were made in the perfect, utter silence he'd wanted. 

The sun was nearly set when Ah-Un landed in an empty field, the long grass rippling under the occasional gust of wind. Jaken hopped down and struck out for the stream flowing nearby, declaring that he would build the evening fire. Lucidity slipped off the dragon and Sesshomaru, his gaze fixed on her, released the reins and dismounted beside her. As Ah-Un stepped away to forage, she glanced up at him, but said nothing; rather, she decided to leave, walking in the direction Jaken had gone. 

"Why have you kept this from me?" 

She stopped and he saw her head turn to the side, hesitant, before she peered over her shoulder at him. "Would telling you have made a difference?" 

He approached her, his footsteps quickened, impatient, and came to stand in front of her, sparing no effort to hide his displeasure. "Do not avoid the question with your tricks, Lucidity. Answer me. You have known for weeks. Why would you-" 

"No," she suddenly said. 

"No?" he repeated, moving closer, his anger rising. "You are refusing to explain yourself?" 

"No," she said again. "I mean that I haven't known for weeks." 

"The first time this happened-"

"Was in the ocean," she interrupted. "And I told you then that I thought it had to do with the water; I wasn't lying. The second time was during the fight with the Panther Tribe. That was when I realized something was wrong, but we've been a little preoccupied since then. I didn't intend to keep this from you."

"Then when did you intend to tell me?" he demanded.

"When there was a chance to breathe! With the North gone and-"

"Those are excuses, Lucidity," he said. "Lies you tell yourself about why you would hide this affliction from me. You revealed just now that you believed my knowing would make no difference. You had no intention of letting me know what was happening and that is the truth of it."

"What good would it have done?" she shot back. "It's not as if you could fix this, to put a stop to it. This has never happened to a Guardian before. No amount of research could find out what's wrong. No monk or miko or healer could ever diagnose me."

"Did it ever occur to you that this could be a means of attack from the Princes of Death? That this was how they killed the North?"

She didn't speak. She didn't need to. Her surprise was answer enough, and the subtle thrill of horror that echoed behind her gaze had the daiyoukai clenching his teeth. And when she made to step back, he caught her by the arm and dragged her forward until she put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Rarely do you give yourself to stupidity, but when you do it astounds," he said. "Are you so trapped by the knowledge of your predecessor that you give no consideration to the experiences that others may hold?" 

"And how the hell could the experience of mortals pertain to a Guardian?"

He released her with a shove and she stumbled back, but kept her balance and glared at him like a petulant child. "You are an arrogant woman," he stated. "And an ignorant girl as a result. You have been infected. It is not unheard of, among youkai, to become hindered as you have."

"I'm not youkai. Whatever you have planned-"

"And what is _your_ plan?"

"Thalia," she answered. "I was going to speak with her when she was done with her search, to see if this has happened to her."

"And why did you not ask her on Avalon?" he demanded.

"Gods be damned, I didn't think about it, all right?!" she snapped. "It wasn't high on my list of priorities. You were lying in bed, riddled with poison. A war is coming. The North is dead. The West is against us. I'm supposed to lead what is left of the Guardians. And now we have youkai attacking and threatening winter supplies for the country. Excuse the hell out of me for not caring about traveling on the wind! So, you know what? You were right; I had no intention of telling you. I had no intention of finding out what was wrong because I don't know a way. Beyond talking to Thalia, I have no plan. Is there anything else you want to discuss about the matter, because I am done with it at this point?"

In a few, short strides, he closed the distance between them. Brazen and shaking in her fury, she scowled up at him, hands fisted at her sides as though battling against an unseen force, unwilling to admit defeat. "As you have no plan," he said, "I will hear no objections to mine. I do not care about what is happening to Masami, his people, or the rest of the country. I do not care about the other Guardians. You are my priority, Lucidity, as I have told you. I would learn the reason for your illness and will be taking you to one who can be trusted in this matter."

Abruptly, tension fled her body, and when he saw her shoulders begin to sag, he stepped closer and reached up to curl his fingers beneath her chin. He allowed himself this simple touch, brushing his thumb along her skin, and nothing more. But then both her hands closed over his and her eyes fell shut as she eased her cheek into the curve of his palm. His teeth gritted together, yet he could not bring himself to move, did not trust himself to make the correct decision.

"Kiss me," Lucidity murmured, blue eyes opening and darting up to him. "Please.... I'm so tired of this. It makes me feel sick. If we could just go back to the way we were-"

"You are attempting to manipulate me, woman," he said as he drew his hand from hers.

And, suddenly, she was there, gripping at his armor, her forehead pressed against his chest. "I'm _begging_ you," she groaned, and the desperation in her voice rang sharp in his ears. "Please! Everything that has been happening...it never stops! And I'm so scared that I can't think straight half the time. I know I promised I wouldn't complain, but I can't take it anymore! I don't sleep; it's impossible to let my mind rest. This is the only thing that helps. Please...please, just.... I need it to stop."

How was she capable of this? How was it that she could make him wonder, make him doubt? He'd been certain in his decisions, and now she planted this seed in his mind. Lucidity, Thalia, Kagome. All these women, trying to sway him against the choices he had made. He should refuse and push her away, remind her that she was to respect his decision, that until he found answers, they could not lay together. His hands took hold of her by the shoulders, intent upon rebuffing her, but he had already caught the scent of tears, felt the tremors of her body, and he stood there, as indecisive as a blind fool at a crossroads.

However, he knew he could not choose a path in this manner and eventually eased her back. She didn't resist and went where he directed, but her gaze remained downcast. A noise slipped from her, muffled behind pursed lips when he took hold of her chin and lifted her face to him. Wet tracks were painted down her cheeks and she was biting at her bottom lip in an effort to remain silent. What choice was he to make? Was he to protect the mind or the body?

"Liar," he murmured, and she was startled enough to look up at him. "You never promised; you said you would make an attempt, not to complain." She blinked and several tears escaped the corners of her eyes. And when her lips parted, he leaned down and seized them for himself. Her taste was heavy, crippled with emotions the miko understood with such ease, the human nature that continued to elude the daiyoukai. He could not fully comprehend the cause, only that it needed to be put to a stop. The daughter of a deity, who remained so hopelessly mortal, claimed he, Sesshomaru, was the only cure for her madness.

So be it.

She gasped when he brought her to the ground, on her back with the long grass surrounding them, concealing both their forms from prying eyes that would never dare cross him. Her hands were on his chest, braced against him, as he loomed over her. And then he shrugged the mokomoko from his shoulder, letting the great length of fur tumble down beside her, before sliding his swords free and setting them aside. Her eyes followed each movement, and he could hear the echo of her frantic pulse.

"S-Sesshomaru," she stammered. "I didn't...didn't mean for this...."

His hand came to rest near her head as he lowered himself against her and claimed her mouth once more. Trapped between the daiyoukai and the earth, she began to shift and the movement of her body was temptation itself. Her heat, her aroma, the touch of her skin, the shape of her lips all beckoned him as no female ever had. If he was not cautious, vigilant, she would be his ruin. And the worst part of such a fate was that he did not care. If it was in her embrace, he would welcome the end.

Her moan was high and sharp in his ear when his other hand slid between her legs and found her warmth through the fabric of her robes. That he could lose himself to this, to a woman, was unfitting for a daiyoukai, an embarrassment to the power of his lineage. And yet he wanted this fault, this vulnerability, wanted her close, wanted to forget the world and remember.... He would remember only her taste, her scent, the sound of her voice, the contours of her body. That was what he wanted.

"Lucidity," he breathed into her ear. "Roll onto your side."

Feeling her move, watching her obey, he knew he was weak. As weak as his foolish, hanyou brother. And settling in behind her, laying on his side as she did, he knew he didn't care. This was where he wanted to be, with the figure of her body molded to his own, drawing the long robes she wore up the line of her legs, until her thighs were exposed. And his hand found her again, fingers sliding into the wet folds he could taste on the air. His mouth came to rest on the side of her neck and she moaned for him, moaned his name as his fingers explored her and began to move along the center of her pleasure.

"Lift your leg," he ordered and, once more, she obeyed, bracing her foot upon the ground and opening herself to him. His other hand pushed into her moisture from behind. He could see her clawing at the dirt, felt her arch against him, and another moan crawled its way out of her, low and somehow agonized. His fingers were inside her, searching her depths, and her hips shook, pushing back against him, as his other hand tormented her knot of pleasure in front. Back and forth, he worked her body, twisting it to his own liking, making her writhe, making her tremble. His breath was hot against the shell of her ear as his tongue caressed the tender flesh and he pressed himself against her, wanting more but not daring to take it.

And then she was crying out. No warning, no begging, she succumbed, her entire frame quivering upon the ground, trapped in his grasp; and he felt her essence flow over his hand, caught the scent of her completion, and heard the soft whines of her voice as it came to an end. She lay there, helpless in the aftermath, frame heaving as she regained her breath, while he slowly brought his hands away and simply lay beside her, an arm draped over her waist.

Neither of them moved, neither of them spoke, and though he was plagued with the discomfort of his own desire, he didn't act on it. He focused on her warmth, the rhythm of her heartbeat, the cadence of her breath, and eased his nose into the strands of her hair. Her scent.... This was...a torture unto itself. And it took him a moment to remember what had brought them here, hidden in the grass together, with his need quickly becoming an ache he was not accustomed to. He began to sit up, but paused as his lips found her ear.

"Never keep secrets from me again," he said.

She rolled over at his words, peering up at him with a quiet expression, tears dry and forgotten. Nothing more was said, and he started to rise, but went still at a hand on his thigh. "Wait," she murmured. "Aren't you-"

"I will not lie with you this night," he told her.

"Then...let me do something else for you," she said, pushing herself up.

"That will not be-"

His frame stiffened when her hand found him beneath his armor. He felt her fingers through his clothing, sliding over his swollen desire, and dug his claws into the earth, in an effort not to seize her, not to...regret whatever action he might take.

"Lucidity-"

"Let me," she whispered, and pressed the firm line of her body against his arm as her hand slipped inside his hakama. He could feel her loosening the straps of his armor while her fingers moved over him and he gritted his teeth against the sensation, loathing the ripple of pleasure that seized him with such a simple touch. And when he began to lean away, on the verge of refusing her, she stroked him. Again and again, she steadily reduced his mind to nothing, making him want little more than the next touch, the next caress of her hand. At some point, the armor was lifted away, but the warmth of her never disappeared. It only increased, with the weight of her frame laid across his thigh and her head in his lap.

The first stars of the night were dotted across the sky and the scent of a freshly lit fire filled the air, but, beyond this, Sesshomaru gave so little attention to his surroundings as she took him into her mouth. He knew this dance of her lips and tongue, rare though it was when he was often more interested in taking her for himself. Perhaps he should indulge her, let her taste him as she wanted. The heat of her mouth, the contraction of her throat, washed over him, threatened to paralyze him, and his hand buried itself into her hair. In a fevered movement, his hips pushed up and he felt himself slide further into her throat. Yet she swallowed him an ease that nearly made him question her past, until she did it once more, then a third time and a fourth, until he was beyond the capability of thought, of judgment, of anything but this base instinct of thrusting deeper into her tight moisture and emptying himself inside.

He could hear the echo of his own bated breath as the pleasure began to recede, and only one clear thought came to mind: defeat. That was what this woman had reduced him to. He wanted her and what she would give him, what she _could_ give him; and he realized that he was willing to accept what she was able to offer, rather than what he wanted to take. To have less when he wanted more. Was that what he was to sacrifice, in order to be with a daughter of the Mother Goddess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! New chapter! Bit of a hot ending ^///^ And I'm so tired right now that I can't think of anything else to say. Please enjoy, dear readers! Meanwhile, I shall go pass out for the night.


	19. Chapter 19

"So, we're to accompany you on this search of yours, after the threat from the sea has been dealt with?" 

"That's the plan; though I don't know how far you'll be able to travel." 

"Where are we to search?"

"Land, air, water. This country and the surrounding islands. And then there are more countries to the west, north, and south, plus the ocean to the east." 

"So vast! That is the entirety of your domain? How do you hope to search it all?" 

"If I could break down my form, it would take a matter of weeks." 

"But that is no longer an option." 

"I know. I'll make do. It will take longer, but we'll get it done. I doubt anything will come of it, but there's still a possibility we might track down at least one of the Princes. And so long as there's that possibility, there's an obligation to act." 

"And then what? If you find a Prince, what will you do?" 

"Have another dance with death." 

Jaken frowned, seemingly perplexed by the phrase, then let out a haughty scoff. "It would serve them right, murdering your sister and forcing you to put forth so much effort into finding them. I hope you knock them so far back into the Underworld that they won't dare cross you again." 

Lucidity rolled her eyes. "I'm flattered you think me so skilled, but let me remind you that this is all a game to the Princes of Death, even to the other Guardians. Sending them to the Underworld, or trapping them as I did Morstua, is more of a check to them instead of a checkmate." 

"A check-what?" 

She shook her head. "Never mind. It's a modern day reference."

"To what, my Lady?" 

A bit reluctantly, Lucidity gave a vague explanation as she strolled alongside the imp through the small valley of hills they'd been traveling all day. Now and then, she peered up ahead at Sesshomaru's form leading the way, watching the sway of the mokomoko trailing behind him. The afternoon sun glinted off his hair in silver streaks, catching her eye every so often. Yet, for the most part, she'd been engaged in conversation with Jaken, while Ah-Un lumbered after them, the reins hanging lose in the imp's hand. 

"May I ask you a question, Lady Lucidity?" 

"You have been full of questions for the past two days and I've answered every one of them. Why would this time be any different?" 

She must have sounded exasperated, because Jaken gave a start. "Many apologies," he immediately said. "It wasn't my intention to annoy you. I feel very privileged that you have shared so much with me, especially knowing that you want this kept from the hanyou and his people. And I would never breathe a word of it to them, I swear! I-" 

"It's fine, Jaken, relax," Lucidity interrupted, waving a dismissive hand at him. "I'm not going beat you for every little infraction; I'm not Sesshomaru." Ahead of them, she caught a glimpse of a golden eye narrowed in her direction, as Jaken let out a nervous laugh. 

"Ehehe...right, of course. No! What I mean is...Sesshomaru-sama is very patient with me; I just overstep and speak out of turn and-" 

"What is your question, Jaken?" Lucidity asked. 

"Yes, yes! Now...it was...er.... What was it again?" he muttered to himself, scratching at his cheek in thought. "Oh! Right. I'm just curious, really, about this. You mentioned that you have to be the one to search your domain because you already know where Morstua has been, yes?"

She glanced at the imp, whose large eyes betrayed little of the point he was attempting to make, if he had one at all. "That's correct...."

"So, that means you can sense the Princes of Death. How is it, when you were hunting Morstua last winter, that you did not sense him?" 

"I didn't have the memories," she replied. "I didn't know what to search for specifically." 

"Yes, but, for one as powerful as a Prince of Death-" 

"Death is natural," she said. "Morstua and his brothers are meant to exist inside the balance. What I try to sense are traces of the Underworld that they bring with them. The blackness, for instance, was made in the Underworld, but until I gained the memories and Satomi's power, I didn't know how to be aware of it." 

"Could someone be taught how to sense the Underworld?" 

Lucidity shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if many people, youkai or otherwise, could sense a breach when it happens. The echo of it, after the fact, I don't know; I can't speak for the abilities of other creatures." 

"Could you-"

"No."

"What?! You don't know what I was going to say!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the Staff waving back and forth, and let out a sigh. "You were going to ask if I could teach you, and the answer is no. I'm not teaching anyone anything right now; I don't have the time or the patience for it. There's too much going on."

"Of course, I understand that. But perhaps after-"

Screams shattered the distant silence.

Their group came to a halt and Lucidity saw Sesshomaru turn his head in the direction of the commotion. There were many voices, all men, making a fuss about something. There was no panic or fear, but they were definitely worked up over whatever they were doing. Probably another battle being waged or just a brawl between bandits. And when the ringing of metal reached her ears, Lucidity's curiosity waned, and so did Sesshomaru's apparently, as he continued walking.

"I wonder what these humans are fighting about this time," Jaken mused, prodding on after the daiyoukai.

"Don't care," Lucidity said, which was perfectly true. She was not inclined to get involved in any type of altercation between humans, not even one nearby, at least not until she heard the roar. A resonating screech, it was. A pure, feral beast of a noise that had her stopping in her tracks and glancing towards the unseen source with renewed interest. The roar resonated again, quickly followed by more screams from the men. Now these sounds...these were terror, agony, perhaps even death.

"Lucidity," Sesshomaru called when she set off for those screams.

"I just want to see," she said. "I'll be back in a minute."

"It's probably nothing more than a youkai, my Lady," said Jaken. "You needn't concern yourself with it."

It wouldn't be a surprise if he was right. There were a number of youkai in the area whom she could sense, and a particular potent aura, as well, that was most likely the cause of everything. However, she wanted to see for herself and, ignoring Jaken, took off for the trees on the surrounding hillside. All that ruckus was incredibly easy to track, especially with an unexpected impact that shook the ground beneath her feet, caused leaves to fall from the trees, and frightened birds from their perches. She was quite certain she could hear the galloping of hooves somewhere, perhaps deer or a runaway horse. But she came across nothing as she made her way deeper into the forest; though, oddly, she did catch the smell of cooked meat. And then, finally, she laid eyes on a sight that had her coming to a stop. At first, she didn't quite trust what her brain was trying to process and had to blink several times, to ensure that her vision was not being deceived. It was around the time she heard the steady footsteps of Sesshomaru behind her that she finally accepted what she was seeing.

"That dragon doesn't belong here," she said in an undertone as the daiyoukai came to stand beside her. 

And it was, indeed, a dragon, a few times the size of Ah-Un with a head as large as her body. It had a great, swan-like neck and a long, sharp face with horns that swooped back from its head. The scales upon its body were a brilliant white and caught the light of the sun in such a way as to give the illusion of glittering colors that were usually seen in the mist of a rainfall. To her, this was the perfect picture of the mythological beast.

Struggling to gain its footing upon four legs, the dragon spread its impressive wings, the span of which extended enough to cover Lucidity and Sesshomaru in shadow from where they stood out of sight amongst the trees. And she could easily see the massive tears through the membranes that made it impossible for the dragon to simply fly off. Well, that and the numerous chains that were being cast over its body and tied those wings to its sides. The dozen or so men running around the dragon were well-organized. She knew, now, that what had shook the earth was the dragon being brought down and successfully tethered in place. Spikes had been driven into the ground through the end of the chains that looped over the great form, right down to the mouth being muzzled shut. Only the tail was free and that was doing enough damage on its own, whipping aside trees and men alike; there were already several victims who lay motionless and very much dead upon the ground, along with the charred remains of others. And the tail continued its assault, the last line of defense apparently, at least until a spear pierced through it, followed by another and another, until the tail was a bloody mess upon the grass, the points of the spears driven into the ground just as the spikes had been.

"Horrible," Lucidity muttered, listening to the muffled roars of the dragon and watching it writhe, while the men continued to swarm around, ensuring that the restraints held. "Have you ever seen anything like it before, Sesshomaru?"

"No," was the short reply.

"No, I didn't think you would. If the memories serve, it belongs further south. I wonder why it came here."

The men were yelling to one another. Lucidity could hear instructions being given above the noise of the struggling dragon, orders about how to dismember the beast, how to remove the horns from the head, the head from the body, the claws from the feet, and, of course, the hide. The full hide of precious white scales was not to be damaged, lest the value of it goes down in price. Lucidity felt her gut twist and didn't realize she had moved forward until Sesshomaru's hand clamped down onto her shoulder.

"As Jaken said," he told her, "this is not our concern. You have satisfied your curiosity; I would have us leave."

"Just wait a second," she said, shrugging his hand off.

"Lucidity," came the low, impatient rumble of his voice.

She sighed and peered back at him. "Come on, Sesshomaru. They're going to butcher and sell the dragon in pieces. Let me free it and we can go."

Of course, she would do that no matter what he said, but managed a slight smile when she saw his scowl and heard his growl. For some reason, she found his irritation as a sign of defeat, or at the very least he was considering her request. And, sure enough, the next words she heard were, "Be quick about it," before he turned and strode away, disappearing through the trees so that she would have to hunt him down after.

Smoke was billowing from the dragon's nostrils as Lucidity moved out into the open. The men was so preoccupied, so flushed with their success, that they didn't notice her approach, not until she was close enough to touch one of them. And when he spun around, she was there, closing a hand over his throat. His shout of alarm rang out before she was able to squeeze his windpipe shut, alerting the rest. Swords were raised, including by the man she held. She twisted it out of his grasp and tossed it aside as the others began to rush her, only to stumble or drop almost simultaneously, mouths gaping, eyes bulging, just as members of the Panther Tribe had done. Her gaze swept the area until she satisfied herself that she had missed no one, then turned her attention to the man in front of her. He was clawing at her arm, not unlike how his companions were clawing at their throats, and his face turned a brilliant crimson as she forced him to his knees. Then her grip loosened, enough that he was able to draw in great, rattling breaths. 

"Damn youkai!" he hissed. "Release me!" 

"Not youkai," she said. "And I'll release you, and your friends, after you answer my questions." The contorted rage on his face contorted all the more at her words, only for his brittle courage to shatter into fear when his companions began to lose their struggle and collapsed one after another. And when the humans were completely silent, she could hear only the rattling of chains as the dragon continued to writhe. "I can stop this," she continued as the man's beady eyes darted back and forth, taking in the scene. "They don't need to die. You don't need to die. Understand?" 

"What do you want?!" he was quick to ask, and she could feel him shaking in her grip. 

"Your attack was planned, yes? Do you know how long the dragon has been here?" 

He shook his head. "No, no. Rumors only, about a white beast that has been prowling the area, the likes of which have never been seen before. We hunt youkai, sell their parts or weapons or anything of value. This beast is no different, and there's no harm in it. We're doing the country and the people a service!" 

Lucidity raised a brow, then flung him away. He landed with a cry of pain; and yet it did not take him long to pick himself up and snatch a sword from one of the unconscious men, turning to her with both hands clutching the hilt. "Really?" she sighed. "Are you really going to do this?" 

"You killed my friends!" he screamed as he raised the sword. 

"Not exactly," she said. "But I could kill you without lifting a finger." 

"Then why don't you?!" 

"I don't find it necessary at this point." 

His scowl was a brilliant, determined thing and he let out a scream, a battle cry that she had grown accustomed to since coming to this era. And she sighed once more as he charged, preparing to incapacitate as she'd done to the others, when the need became moot in an abrupt and rather gruesome manner. Blood sprayed the grass in front of him, bringing him to a halt, and he stared down at the point of a spear that was jutting out of his torso. For a split second, she believed that Sesshomaru had thrown it, despite knowing he was not inclined to use human weapons. And then she saw the white appendage behind the man, as thick as his body, that was lifting him off of his feet. The dragon had freed its tail, which was still impaled by spears. Spears that the dragon had used to stop this human from attacking her. Or had it been simple, dumb luck? 

Either way, Lucidity stared as the man was lifted higher and higher, the sword falling from his grasp, blood streaming out of his mouth, and his face ugly with agony. Still alive, she thought. Even as the tail whipped through the air and sent him hurtling far, far across the forest, he was still alive. She let out a deep breath as the tail crumpled to the ground and peered over at the dragon. Bright golden eyes, perhaps a shade or two lighter than Sesshomaru's, were watching her over the chains around its snout, as though sizing her up to determine if she'd make a decent meal or not. She started to walk towards the dragon, but stopped when it began to growl.

"Easy," she whispered, and moved towards the tail flopping so piteously around, like a fish trapped on dry land. "You want those things out of you or not? I swear, though, if you impale me, I will end you."

Louder, the dragon growled and thrashed in its restraints, smoke now rising from both nose and what bit of its mouth it could open. Claws scraped through the earth when she pinned the tail down with one hand and took hold of the first spear with the other. In a jerk, she snapped the tip off and yanked the length of wood out. Even behind the muzzle, the dragon's roar was deafening when she was this close. Quickly, she did the same with the remaining spears, tossing each piece aside until she was done, then stepped back and peered over at the panting beast. Its great sides were heaving and its head was stretched out upon the grass, no longer growling or roaring, just deep, ragged breathing that sounded like rocks scraping against one another.

Glancing down, she saw a spike embedded in the soil, not far from her feet. There were many surrounding the dragon on all sides, enough to ensure that it would be overpowered. Perhaps just temporary with this makeshift trap, but if she hadn't interfered, she knew that the dragon would have been decapitated by now. While keeping a close watch on said beast, she went to work extracting the spikes out of the ground. Large, golden eyes followed her and the massive form began to shift beneath the chains, the wings attempting to expand, the head starting to move. And then she jumped back when the dragon rose to its feet and shook the remaining chains off its body, reminding her of an overgrown dog after a bath.

Finally, the dragon dragged the chains off its snout with a front leg and lifted its head, wings spread and flapping something fierce. All around, the men still lay unconscious, unaware of the danger they were now in. Lucidity had half a mind to drive the dragon off, but found herself too curious when it ignored those who had attacked it in favor of moving towards her. Craning her neck back the better to see, she couldn't bring herself to look away from those golden eyes fixed on her. There was no more smoke coming from it, at least, which had to be a good sign. Yet she remained wary as the dragon lowered its head to her level, turning slightly the better to keep her in its sight.

"You should leave," she murmured, "before they wake up. Find a place to hide until your wings heal."

The mouth opened, just enough that she was able to see two, possibly three, rows of jagged teeth, as a sound escaped, so deep in its reverberation that she could feel the echo of it inside her body. Not unpleasant, just a strange, heavy rhythm that resonated through them both, until the dragon drew back, seemed to consider her a moment, then turned and walked away with a shockingly soft step for so giant a figure. She could hear the crashing and breaking of trees long after it disappeared from sight, then peered around at the immobile bodies that littered the area, some dead, some not. The whole encounter had been a strange one and left her with more questions than she had started out with. Yet it was unlikely that any of these men could hold the answers. Honestly, what person alive could know why a dragon left its homeland?

As she mulled over possible explanations, a familiar figure emerged from the treeline and made his way through the chaotic destruction. Not the worst aftermath of battle they had come across, but this scenario was certainly unique and she was still studying the scorched and bloodied earth as Sesshomaru stopped beside her. 

"Thought you left," she said, but he remained silent and she glanced over to see him looking around as she'd been doing. "You were curious, weren't you?" Again, silence. "Yo, Fluffy!" And that earned her a hard glare, to which she grinned. "Either you were curious or worried. That's what I'm going with; though, I think I prefer the latter." 

"Think what you want, woman," he said, turning his head to peer down the path the dragon had taken. 

"Mostly I'm thinking about how the humans managed to knock the dragon out of the sky." She kicked over a broken spearhead. "The weapons they have aren't right for the damage on its wings." 

"I was the one who tore the creature's wings," spoke a new voice that had Lucidity jerking her head up to discover that it wasn't the dragon's path Sesshomaru was watching. "It thought best to assault me a few days ago while I was traversing the skies."

A woman, dressed in a white and purple kimono lined with fur and wearing an all-too-familiar stone, was strolling out of the trees, so calm and collected as always, appearing as if she belonged, no matter what setting she was in, whether it was a bloody battle of severed remains or the throne of a palace. And as she came to a stop in front of Lucidity and Sesshomaru, a smile curved her painted lips. 

"And to what do I owe the honor of this visit from the Guardian of the East and her lord husband?" asked Sesshomaru's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a boring chapter, I'm afraid. Apologies for that. I do like the dragon, though. I'm debating on keeping it in the story, but it doesn't serve much purpose beyond this point. It's just pretty XD Would any of you dear readers like to see more of the dragon? Please let me know. ^.^


	20. Chapter 20

"That question is better directed at your son." 

"Hmm? Were you unaware of his intentions to bring you here?" 

"He mentioned only that we were visiting someone who could be trusted; I didn't realize that included you." 

Inukimi smiled, an expression that had never sat well with Lucidity. There was nothing friendly about her smiles. Amused, mocking, but never warm or inviting. Not that Lucidity expected anything less from the woman who had raised Sesshomaru. Blue eyes slid over to the youkai lord in question, who was gracious enough to spare her glance, and that alone revealed that he acknowledged her irritation. 

"There are matters I wish to discuss with you, mother," he said, peering back at Inukimi.

"How fitting," she replied. "Since you are here, I, too, have some things that I would speak with you about. Come; the palace isn't far." 

Yet the moment Inukimi rose into the air, Lucidity seized Sesshomaru by the sleeve and yanked him back towards her. He glared at her over his shoulder, but she only scowled and hissed into his ear, "Why didn't you tell me where you were taking us?!"

He pulled himself free and turned to face her, his mouth pressing into a thin line. "To what purpose when you showed little interest in our destination?"

"But I still asked-"

"And would have complained endlessly, regardless if it made a difference in coming here or not," he cut in. "Save your bickering for later, Lucidity. My mother is a knowledgeable youkai; she may provide the solutions we've been searching for, or know of another who might." 

Solutions? Lucidity frowned at Sesshomaru. If he was seeking more than one solution, then that meant he came here for more than one problem. And considering the multiple problems that had been cropping up as of late, personal or otherwise, she found herself...resigned to the likelihood that Inukimi was their last option at this point. With a deep inhale, she turned from Sesshomaru, taking a few steps away, as she raked both hands through her hair. "If you say so," she muttered. "What other choice do we have?" 

"None," he said, and she heard him walk up behind her. Then, quite suddenly, she felt his hands on her, and the ground was suddenly no longer beneath her feet. 

"Hey! What are you-"

"Quiet, woman," ordered the daiyoukai, who had her clasped tightly in his arms, his eyes narrowed at her supposed defiance of his wishes.

Lucidity didn't know what to make of this behavior and, of course, he gave no explanation as his energy gathered beneath him and lifted them off the ground. She looked around, wondering if she had missed something, some sort of danger. Yet beyond the humans still strewn about the forest floor, there was nothing, no hint of a threat anywhere in the area, not even the dragon. "Sesshomaru, put me down," she finally said. "I'm perfectly capable of flying on my own." 

Golden eyes slid over to her, but the daiyoukai remained silent. She blinked at his perfectly stoic expression, the expression that rarely shifted, and was no different to those who did not know him well enough, could not interpret the subtle creases in the lines of his face, the way his fingers curled, or his lips moved. There was little change in his expression now, save for how he held her gaze for a heartbeat longer than was necessary before he looked away. And she swallowed when she realized what he was doing. There was the slightest jolt of her pulse as her head came to rest on his shoulder and she closed her eyes, very much content to stay right where she was all of a sudden.

"Jerk," she whispered, but, again, he said nothing in response. Rather, she felt the brief tightening of his grip. For now, it was enough. But she soon opened her eyes, staring at the line of his throat, the marks on his cheek, and discovered that she had to look elsewhere, lest she demand what he was unable to give. Quickly, she cast her mind around for some sort of distraction and spotted one minor detail that was amiss. "Where's Jaken? Have we left him behind again?" 

"No," said Sesshomaru. "He has been instructed to wait at my mother's palace." 

And that was it. She could think of nothing else to focus on and did her best to relax, easing her head beneath his chin, fingers brushing over the fur of the mokomoko, as Sesshomaru took them higher and higher, until the air began to thin, grew colder, and the landscape became a blur of varying shades of green far below. And then, as they passed through the fog of clouds, she saw it: the castle in the sky.

Or palace, as the two daiyoukai referred to it. If Lucidity hadn't already been well acquainted with Mount Fukuro, the sight of such surreal grandeur would have mesmerized her. The water of many streams flowed off the edges, creating a permanent mist that surrounded the great expanse in land that hung in the air, the spray drifting around the ones who called this place home and adding to the dreamlike quality of this youkai world. The palace itself exceeded her own, both in size and architect, with mazes for halls, rooms beyond the counting, and buildings she did not know the use of, nor did she care to learn. It was a home for a family who had spent generations in the seat of power, lifted miles above those they ruled.

A Guardian was no ruler, though. As Sesshomaru set her down in the midst of the staircase that led to the top, she glanced over to the silent sentinels, who patrolled the ramparts, then up the steps that Sesshomaru was already ascending. He wanted to rule and, as she followed him, she couldn't help but wonder about the empire he was trying to build. He'd make himself known, as his father had, to humans and youkai alike. And she, Lucidity, would be with him. What would it mean for the Guardians, if she allowed the world to learn about her?

A curiosity for another time, she decided once they reached the red throne Inukimi so favored to lounge in. The slightest of upward curves played over her mouth as Lucidity and Sesshomaru approached her, and yet her attention was on Jaken, who was, for some reason, preoccupied with leading Ah-Un away from the scene. It was clear, though, that Ah-Un did was not interested in budging, despite how the imp struggled to pull him along by the reins.

"Move, you stubborn beast!" he exclaimed. "You heard Gobodo-sama! She wants you taken out to the garden."

"Beyond the garden, little youkai," said Inukimi. "I will not have your pet destroying all the work I have put into my home. Be quick about it."

"Yes, Gobodo-sama!" And Jaken's face began to turn a lovely shade of red as he struggled with "his pet," eventually succeeding in dragging Ah-Un away from the youkai and Lucidity.

Inukimi watched him in quiet amusement as he disappeared between the buildings of the palace, before her gaze shifted to Lucidity and Sesshomaru, standing beside her. "Last you were here was when I bound you to this woman, for reasons that continue to escape me," she said. "And before that, you sought to strengthen Tenseiga. Now, what is it that you want of me this time? What has prompted another visit from my dutiful son? I hope it is worth my while." 

"Lucidity," he said, and there was a movement around Inukimi's mouth, a set to her jaw. "She has been falling ill."

"Oh," was the faint reply as a familiar haughtiness spread itself out along Inukimi's face. "Is that unusual for a Guardian? I suppose it must be, otherwise you would not be here. And am I correct in assuming that she contracted her disease by unnatural means?"

"We don't know; this is why we came here," said Sesshomaru. "The Princes of Death have retaliated, mother. The Guardian of the North is dead and it is unknown by what means. I will not have what happened to her happen to the East, as well."

Up until this point, Inukimi had been relaxed, settled into her furs and even resting a cheek against her fingers. The gleam in her eyes may have held an undertone of bitterness, but she was, for the most part, indifferent to the conversation. Yet upon hearing Sesshomaru, she blinked several times, then began to straighten, slowly lowering her arm, and then rose altogether. She glanced from her son to Lucidity and back again, before taking a small breath. "This...will not do," she said. "Come with me, Lucidity. I wish to discuss your symptoms in depth. And you," she added, suddenly prodding Sesshomaru in the chest. "When was the last time you washed? You reek of old blood. I did not raise a savage mongrel. Get yourself to the bathhouse."

Lucidity didn't have a chance to witness Sesshomaru's reaction, not even a twitch of muscle, as she was seized by Inukimi and dragged past the youkai lord, who didn't move or say a word. She could easily imagine a smoldering rage in his eyes and attempted to glance back at him, only to be yanked forward by her dear mother-in-law.

"Never mind that beast of a man," said Inukimi once they were out of earshot. "What happened to the other Guardian? Tell me everything you know."

"...you're scared," Lucidity murmured, rather...astonished at just how agitated this normally collected woman was.

"Only a fool wouldn't be," came the sharp reply, coupled with a hard frown. "I pray to that deity you call a mother that my son did not marry a fool."

"He did not," sighed Lucidity. "I'm perfectly terrified, if that is what you wish to hear."

"It is," said Inukimi. "Now, tell me about the Princes, and then we can talk about your illness."

And Lucidity obliged. Starting with the day of the earthquake, she informed Inukimi about Avalon, the meeting in the castle, the fight with the West, about everything that was pertinent to this war between Guardians and Death. And Inukimi listened, saying nothing, not even to ask a question or comment on Sesshomaru being poisoned. The pair walked through the palace, taking paths known only to the lady youkai, until the buildings thinned and the stone beneath their feet gave way to grass.

They had reached the garden that Inukimi was so determined to keep pristine. Even here there was a sense of passing into a dream. A pond decorated most of the area, spotted with steppingstones on either end. A wooden bridge, painted red, stretched across the center. The water was so clear that patterns could be seen in the rocks laying at the bottom. Plants swayed and crisscrossed beneath the surface, while the surface itself was decorated with lotus blossoms of multiple shades and lily pads of striking color. Not simple greens, but hues of violet and pink and yellow and so many more, a sight that gave the illusion of a living painting. A beautiful setting, it all was, with cherry trees permanently in bloom-as though time itself had frozen around the blossoms-numerous other shrubs and vegetation, lanterns, and even a traditional sozu fountain of bamboo. The garden was peaceful, out of place in the chaos that had driven them here, and a conversation about impending doom did not fit well, not at all.

The two women walked along the grass, beneath the trees, skirting the edges of the pond, until there was nothing more for Lucidity to say, until Inukimi led the way over the bridge and stopped at the center. She didn't turn to look into the water, but lifted her eyes to the sky. Lucidity watched her, silent and waiting, before the lady youkai decided to speak at long last.

"This search you intend to make, you believe it will yield nothing?"

"The odds are not favorable."

"But you must question a Prince on what has been done to the northern Guardian and what it is that they plan to do next. Why do you not release Morstua and demand your answers from him? Surely they have been plotting this since before you captured him."

"I won't risk his breaking free and reuniting with his brothers," said Lucidity. "Keeping them separated will cripple their power. So far, we are down two Guardians in this fight, an enormous disadvantage. As we stand now, we may have a chance. If Morstua is released, though, we might as well dig our own graves and wait for the inevitable."

"And if you manage to entrap another prince?"

"Then the remaining two will not have the means to defeat us. They would be a nuisance, yes, but nothing so threatening as they are now. The West may yet come to her senses. But, if anything should happen to another Guardian, regardless of the West's decisions, we-"

"I understand," said Inukimi, who lowered her gaze from the sky, then turned to face Lucidity. "I well remember what it was like, the second time our paths crossed when Sesshomaru brought you here. I remember when you unmasked your aura and revealed to me the history of ancient powers. I listened to your tales of the blackness and Morstua, of what could happen in the coming years. Believe me when I say that I understand the situation at hand with absolute clarity. I understand the necessity of your existence. Even if my son had not taken such an interest in you, I would lend you what help I am able."

"As a way to maintain your own existence," Lucidity said.

Another smile played across Inukimi's lips. "I won't lie and say that is not one of my stronger motivations."

"And what are the others?"

"The way of all life, not just mine. Who knows what will become of this world if the Princes of Death succeed in their plans? Humans and youkai alike are playthings to them; of that I have no doubt. If you die, what will become of us?"

"And what do you care about 'us,' Inukimi?" Lucidity asked, giving a mocking smile of her own, as she walked around the lady youkai to place her hands on the railing and peer into the water. "You don't give a damn about anyone other than yourself and one other. You're like me: you'd let the world turn to ash if it meant Sesshomaru would live."

"We hold no fondness for each other, but of that we can agree on, my fool of a son."

"Sesshomaru is not a fool."

"He's a fool to be so infatuated with you."

The railing splintered beneath Lucidity's hands as her fingers dug into the wood and she turned her gaze onto Inukimi. No...there was most definitely no fondness between her and this woman, and it wasn't simply because Inukimi had plunged a hand through her chest when they first met. Being near Inukimi, speaking with her, always seemed to test Lucidity's control. Exchanging insults did not quite satisfy her, when she felt as if she owed Inukimi far more than the sport of a quick-witted tongue. Even now, she ensured that a simple bridge endured the brunt of her displeasure as Inukimi allowed another smile, cold in its amusement, to grace her features.

"And because of that foolishness, he will be unhappy should anything happen to you," she said. "So, what of your illness? What does it entail?"

"Dizziness, fainting, headaches," Lucidity rattled off as she extracted her fingers from the damaged wood and folded her arms. "Takes me a little while to become oriented after."

"Possible signs of poison," murmured Inukimi, almost absent in her behavior, as she touched the railing with a furrow in her brow. "No doubt one of great potency, given the resilience of your body. There are youkai out there capable of it, if you have come across any. Yet since we are assuming that these Princes of Death are responsible, we must consider alternate means of infection. The blackness, for instance-"

"The blackness was destroyed," Lucidity interrupted. "There is nothing left; I made sure of it."

"Yes, but it is what you and the North have in common that the other Guardians do not. You were poisoned by it, just as Sesshomaru had been. It entered your body, your blood. The same could have happened to the northern Guardian. How do we not know that some grain of it has laid dormant until now?"

"I would feel it."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes! Besides, the North dealt with the blackness and Morstua over two-hundred years ago, and was killed only last week. She would have known she was sick long before that. She would have come to us for help or...or something...." Lucidity trailed off, feeling a sense of shock creep up on her, a foreboding in the pit of her stomach, a...doubt. She knew Inukimi was watching her, but strode away all the same, making her way off the bridge and onto the grass. Footsteps sounded from behind her.

"And...are you certain of this as well?" came the soft question.

Lucidity swallowed. "No," she admitted. "The North...the state of her home.... She didn't care about it anymore. I know that losing my predecessor had been difficult for her. It might have been too much."

"You mean she wanted to die?" asked Inukimi, walking around to stand in front of her.

"Not as she did," said Lucidity. "No Guardian would ever upset the balance, but I would not be surprised if she wanted to give up her mantle and become mortal."

Suddenly, Inukimi stepped towards her, closing the space between them more than she ever had before, save for that first meeting. "Lucidity," she said, and the woman in question blinked upon hearing the lady youkai actually use her name. "Are you absolutely confident that this is not the work of the blackness? Did Morstua not say he had attempted to perfect the blackness in the two-hundred years he was banished to the Netherworld?"

"I don't...I don't know." Closing her eyes and rubbing at her temple, Lucidity turned from Inukimi. Was it possible? Could she somehow not be aware of the blackness, not sense it, even if it was inside her? Was it too small, too subtle, like a cancer eating through her body?

"The flawed blackness could have laid dormant in the North for centuries," Inukimi continued. "You are also not a true-born Guardian either; you could be more susceptible to its effects. That, coupled with the perfected blackness, could explain why you have succumbed after only a year. Though, how long have you been ill?"

"Nearly two months," Lucidity muttered without opening her eyes. "So...if it is the blackness, then the sap of the Hahaoya no Shikyu is what I need. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha both drank it and they have been fine, but I didn't."

"A simple solution, then."

"I hope so. It will be a relief, and my search will not take as long, if I'm able to travel on the wind again." The sound and unexpected presence of Inukimi standing beside her finally had Lucidity looking over at the lady youkai. And she was surprised to see golden eyes narrowed at her, a frown marring those painted lips. "What?"

"What is your meaning? 'To travel on the wind.' Are you claiming that you fall ill only when you transform?"

Lucidity nodded.

Inukimi drew back and looked her over, as in truly began to study her, not unlike she had upon bringing her back with the Meido Stone and demanding why Sesshomaru found her important enough to threaten his own mother. To say the least, it made Lucidity highly uncomfortable and, though the woman was no threat to her now, she couldn't help but take a step or two back. 

"Are there any other symptoms?" Inukimi asked. 

Lucidity shook her head. 

"Nothing you can think of? Nothing out of the ordinary?" she pressed. 

Beyond the more obvious moments, had there been anything else? Sifting through what had taken place over these last weeks was more difficult in some ways than sifting through the memories. The memories were more of an echo of a story someone had told her, one that she could visualize firsthand, but have no emotional connection to. The same could not be said about her own personal memories, with the rise and fall of rage, passion, happiness, etc. that accompanied each one, which made it difficult to recall exact details if she'd been caught up in the moment. And, in the end, there was only one glaring oddity that Lucidity could remember. 

"I fell asleep," she said. 

"Asleep?" repeated Inukimi, and there was a faint note of disbelief in her tone. "That's it?" 

"I sleep once a season; you know this," Lucidity replied. "I fell asleep for a short time about a month after my seasonal slumber.... And that was also unusual, I guess. It lasted three days, instead of two as it normally does." 

"A month...nearly two months," murmured the lady youkai, more to herself than Lucidity. "Hmm...possible. I see no reason.... Wait here," she declared without warning, before striding off just as quickly. 

What...the hell? 

Lucidity shook her head as she watched the silver and purple form of Sesshomaru's mother disappear from sight. What else could that crazy youkai suspect if not the blackness? And though Inukimi's theory did sound plausible, Lucidity continued to question it. She would drink the sap, just to be safe, and cross her fingers that it was a simple solution, as Inukimi had said. And yet was it? If an infection from the blackness had managed to linger, could prove potentially fatal, would Mother not be aware of it? It threatened Her precious balance, after all. On reflex, Lucidity looked at her palm, at the scar she shared with Sesshomaru. It hadn't burned, not since she had come into her power. Which meant her life was not at stake, right? What was it that Thalia had said? Their Mother was not infallible. No god or goddess was. But to make such a colossal error? Lucidity...didn't know. She simply didn't know. 

In the time it took Inukimi to return, Lucidity had strolled the length of the garden twice, her mind buzzing with thoughts and doubts, theories and questions that refused to be quiet. She'd come to a stop in front of the water, staring at the surface rippling beneath the sporadic gusts of wind. If she could just breathe, just have a moment of peace that didn't require being knocked unconscious.... What Sesshomaru had done to relax her last time, she wondered if-

"Does my pond fascinate you?" 

Lucidity looked up at Inukimi, who was standing next to her once more and clutching a small bowl of a strange, red liquid that was bubbling and steaming. Her gaze darted to the liquid, then back at Inukimi. "You need fish," was all she said. 

Inukimi curled her lip. "I do not eat fish."

"Not to eat," said Lucidity. "To watch. It's supposed to be soothing." 

"Really now? How strange." 

"No stranger than having a pond without fish." 

A soft hum broke from the lady youkai as she peered out over the water. "I had this garden built in imitation of a human one I admit that I admired. I was unaware that animals were involved in its making."

"Perhaps if you spent more time with humans," Lucidity began, only to have Inukimi curl her lip in return. Rolling her eyes, she gestured to the bowl. "Are you going to tell me what that is?"

"First, I'm going to need you to bleed into this," said Inukimi, holding the bowl out in both hands.

Lucidity felt herself go rigid and had to resist stepping back once more. "Come again?"

"Bleed into this," Inukimi repeated. "Just a small amount."

"...why?"

With a tilt of her head that Lucidity took as amusement, Inukimi considered her for a moment. "Do you believe Sesshomaru will refrain from killing me if I try to harm you simply because I am his mother?"

Both of her eyebrows rose at those words. "I should hope he has some sort of line he will not cross, but I don't doubt he would make you pay in some way. Fine, fine," she added, and dragged a length of her own power across her palm, manifesting enough energy to slice a shallow cut into the skin. She let the blood swell and pool to the surface, before letting it drip into the bowl. And Inukimi surprised her by offering a plain white handkerchief extracted from the sleeve of her kimono. Lucidity took it, cleaning the blood from her skin and wrapping handkerchief around her hand, while Inukimi swirled the concoction gently within the bowl. And as Lucidity watched, the color ever-so-gradually shifted, started to darken, and what had once been a deep red was now a rich blue. Smoke or steam-she couldn't be positive-continued to trickle upward, even as the bubbles subsided.

"What...is that?" Lucidity asked once more.

Inukimi swirled the bowl one final time, staring intently, as though transfixed by the contents. "When was your last moon time?"

Lucidity blinked. "Moon time?" There was no reply, but Inukimi looked up, her gaze fixed, expectant, and the slightest crease appeared in her brow before Lucidity blinked again in sudden understanding. "Oh. Guardians...don't have that."

"I see," she murmured slowly. "Well, I find this irrefutable."

"Find _what_ irrefutable?" Lucidity demanded, trying so hard not to lose her patience.

"This brew was created by my family generations ago. It's a mixture of salamander blood and the poison from our claws. I could not explain to you the exact nature of these elements and why they react the way they do when mixed together. Yet I do know that the end result has always been accurate. Many a female youkai have journeyed to our palace simply to request this from us."

Inside her chest, her heart was doing a familiar tap dance along her ribs. Lucidity scraped her teeth together, cursing her mother-in-law so colorfully inside the privacy of her mind, but somehow managed to hold her tongue when she spoke. "Why? Just explain it to me already, Inukimi. What have you figured out?"

* * *

Blood.

Her blood.

Why could he smell her blood? What had happened? And why was his mother's absent? There were other smells in the air, of dokkaso and, for some reason, the blood of another creature. Perhaps an animal caught in the crossfire? It stirred something in the back of his mind. A thought? A memory? He didn't know, and quickly pushed it aside.

This outcome did not surprise him. Leaving those two women alone together involved a certain amount of risk, to the point where bloodshed was not a question of "if," but rather of "when." His question, however, was why it was Lucidity's blood. How had his mother managed to injure her, to even catch her off guard? Yet when he found himself standing on the threshold of the garden and beheld the sight that greeted him, it merely led to further confusion. Lucidity and his mother were conversing quietly, completely docile, with no hint of an altercation having taken place. Lucidity's back was to him, partially blocking his mother from view, but he could still see the crimson rag Lucidity was unraveling from her hand. His mother took it without a word as she peered over Lucidity's shoulder at Sesshomaru. 

"I will allow you two some time to talk," said his mother. "But I will return to collect my son; there remain issues that we must discuss." 

And when she made her way out of the garden, taking a different route than he had arrived in, Sesshomaru noticed she had something clasped in her hands, obscured by her fur. His gaze followed his mother until she was out of sight before he turned his attention back to Lucidity, who hadn't moved from where she stood. There was a slight hunch to her shoulders and, as he approached, she folded her arms. It wasn't until he came to a stop behind her that he saw she was biting at her thumbnail, a habit he had not witnessed in some time. Her eyes were intent upon the water, and she gave no reaction when he slid an arm around her waist and drew her back against him. 

"Why do you insist on breaking your own rule?" she asked, nail still between her teeth. "Why do you insist on touching me when you say otherwise?" 

"You make me weak, woman," he murmured for her ears alone.

Suddenly, she lowered her arm and eased herself into his embrace, pressing against him, as though to discover for herself just how weak he was. "You're not wearing armor," she remarked. "Did you actually obey your mother and take a bath?"

He growled softly into her ear. "I enjoy the stench of old blood no more than she does," he told her. "Now what happened? Was she able to give you an answer?" 

For a moment, there was only silence, which went unbroken for so long that he almost spoke again, until Lucidity abruptly straightened, biting once more on her thumbnail. "Poison...from the blackness. That was her initial assumption," she muttered, a matter that surprised him, as did the unexpected distraction in her voice. He waited for further explanation.

And waited. And waited.

"Initial?" he eventually echoed, but the question prompted no response.

She was utterly still in his grasp, her focus on the water, and he could hear how she continued to chew at her nail. In the past, he would have become irritated, but now he...wondered. What conclusion had his mother drawn to put Lucidity in such a state? Was there some insight into the death of the North that worried her? With a sense of apprehension, he took hold of her wrist and pulled her hand out of the way, before curling his fingers beneath her chin and forcing her to raise her head, though her eyes remained downcast.

"Look at me, Lucidity," he said, and she obeyed, but there was nothing he could read in her gaze. If not for the heat of her skin, the taste of her breath so close, she could have been carved from stone. "What did my mother tell you?" 

Her eyes closed and he noticed the movement of her throat as she swallowed. With her back still against his chest, she pulled from his grasp and lowered her head, so that he could see nothing but a crown of yellow hair. His patience began to waver, a growl forming low in his throat, and he seized her shoulder, preparing to turn her around, to force her to face him, when he felt her hand glide down the arm curled about her waist. Her fingers laced with his and he frowned as she moved his arm, expecting her to step away, to push him back and refuse to answer. And yet what she did was far more perplexing. She was guiding his hand, bringing it beneath her ribs, then down her stomach, and further still below her navel. And he was the one to nearly shove her away, when he realized she was urging his hand between her legs, wanting him to touch her as he had the other night, perhaps hoping to distract him, cause him to forget.

But then she stopped short of her supposed goal. She pressed his hand against her lower stomach and covered it with both her own, before looking up at him. There was nothing stoic about her expression this time. Her brows were contracted together, lips parted, even quivering with a sudden quickening of breath, and her eyes held a sense of trepidation. Her hands squeezed his and he saw her agitation deepen.

It struck him in that moment. He remembered, many years ago from his childhood, the smell of that creature's blood mixed with his mother's dokkaso; the blood of a salamander harbored no secrets.

"You're pregnant."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! Given the title of this story, I'm sure many of you expected this. Purple Rain totally called it way back in Chapter 8. 
> 
> I hope the whole "moon time" thing wasn't too out of the blue. I always meant to include that in The Odds of Fate, but just never found the appropriate spot to mention it in. 
> 
> And I know "Inukimi" is not her real name, just a nickname fans have given her, but I needed to call Sesshomaru's mother something other than... "Sesshomaru's mother."


	21. Chapter 21

His eyes were fixed on the hand resting against her stomach, his claws pressing into the fabric of her robes. Lucidity had moved to face him, but when he glanced up, he could see that her thoughts were turned inward, gaze distant and hands loosely clasped around his. She was biting at her lip, forehead knotted with wrinkles, and he felt her fingers absently flex around his wrist. 

"The news does not please you?" Sesshomaru asked. 

She blinked, then lifted her head, seemingly bewildered. "What?" 

He pulled his hand from hers and slid his arms into opposite sleeves. "You are unhappy with this development." 

"I...I'm not...." she began, and when his eyes narrowed, she quickly shook her head. "No, no, I'm not unhappy. It's just...a lot to process. Inukimi was barely able to tell me before you showed up, and if it's true, then-" 

"It is," he said. "The salamander blood she uses has never been wrong." 

"You know about that?" 

"I lived here as a small child; I remember the scent and the women who came here for it." 

Lucidity stared at him, apparently too stunned to speak, before she shook her head once again and looked away, dragging a hand through her hair. "This is too.... I don't think I can-I need to sit down for a second." 

"You do not want children?" came his immediate demand when she started to walk away. 

Her response was instant and explosive as she rounded on him. "Fucking hell, Sesshomaru! Just give me a minute here! I'm trying to think-" 

"And what must you think on? You speak as if you wish to terminate-" 

"Of course not!" she shouted, hands clenched and eyes wild with anger. "How could you even think that? Do you have any idea how insulting that is to me?! I want children. I've always wanted children! Back home, people would insult me for aspiring so much to be a mother. But when I came here, I didn't believe it would ever be possible; I didn't want to think about it, not ever. But marrying you...marrying you, I...." 

And here, her temper began to ebb and the furrow returned to her brow as she turned her gaze from him, bringing a hand to her mouth, thumbnail between her teeth yet again. Sesshomaru, though taken aback by these admissions she had never uttered until now, frowned at the display. "Enough, Lucidity," he said, moving forward to stand in front of her. "Explain yourself; I would hear your reasoning." 

His words seemed to have the proper affect. She folded her arms, considering him for several heartbeats, then lowered her eyes to the vicinity of his chest. "I know we never discussed it, but, at some point, I knew you'd want an heir," she whispered. "And when we married, I was...more than happy to give you one. I still am. I didn't think it would be so soon. And the timing...the timing couldn't be worse." 

"I see," he said softly. "You are afraid." 

The smile she gave was bitter as she rubbed an anxious hand along the back of her neck. "Before, only afraid," she murmured to the ground. "Now...like I can't breathe...." 

This also explained her emotional state as of late. And as her posture tightened and the scent of salt water reached his nose, the last of his irritation evaporated. He approved, albeit reluctantly, of her vehement response to his accusation and the immediate fear she had of the situation. She was right; the timing was ill-suited, with the imminent threat of the Princes. He, too, would have preferred a child to come at a later point, but one did not choose this sort of thing. 

"I'm sorry," Lucidity said abruptly, her voice heavy and thick, as she brushed the heel of her hand across her eyes. "I don't mean to react this way. I'm really trying to stop-" 

"Quiet, woman," he said, and her head jerked up in surprise. "Your reaction is tolerable; I will hear no more of it. Come," he added, turning and making his way over to one of the trees blooming out of season. Beneath its branches, he settled himself onto the grass and leaned back against the trunk, one leg drawn up and elbow resting across his knee, before peering up at Lucidity, who had followed, but lingered uncertainly near his outstretched boot. "Sit."

She didn't move.

"You were the one who wished to sit," he reminded her. "Now sit."

She walked over and stood beside him, gazing at him in silence, and then lowered herself between his legs, shifting at the last moment so that her back was against his chest. Without word or explanation, she seized either of his wrists and dragged his arms around her, causing his leg to slide to the ground in the process. A low growl trickled from his throat in warning when she pressed too close after laying her head back on his fur.

"Stop it," she muttered. "I'm not about to jump your bones, so you're just going to have to deal with this. Besides, this is all your fault."

A frown pulled at his lips. "Explain."

"I believe the statement speaks for itself," she replied, closing her eyes, and he realized her blame had been in jest.

With another rumble of annoyance, he tightened his arms around her waist, dragging her closer, so that his mouth hovered above her ear. "Insufferable woman."

She shuddered and rolled her head into the mokomoko, eyes still shut. "Don't do that."

Satisfied that she had yielded, the daiyoukai loosened his grip and relaxed amongst the roots of the tree. Though it was not yet possible, he wished to leave. However, there remained the other issue he needed to speak with his mother about, along with whatever it was she wanted from him. Rare, it was, that she ever needed to discuss anything with him, and he had to assume it was vital in some way. But he was not interested in the matter. As his gaze slid over to Lucidity, he found himself...vexed. She was his priority, yes, but he had not understood how significant this change was until now, until he realized he didn't care to learn what his mother wished to tell him. He recognized that he needed to, but the fact remained that he didn't want to. 

With his arms still around Lucidity's waist, he reached for her hand resting in her lap, the one stained with blood, and turned it over. His thumb brushed the cut along the center of her palm. It was already showing signs of healing, but there was a twitch in her fingers, as though in protest or perhaps in pain. Briefly, he wondered if it had been self-inflicted, before he turned his attention further down to her stomach. An heir, she had said, which meant she understood the importance of continuing the family line. More so, she understood that it was important to him, without his ever having to mention it. The dilution of his father's bloodline put him ill at ease. The taint of human blood had always been a source of anger for him, with the stubborn existence of his hanyou brother being an ever infuriating shame.

Yet he could not refute, not even to himself, that he would have done the same as his father. Whether Lucidity was human or not, he would have taken her regardless. And she had been, the first time. If a child had resulted from that day, he would not have been...displeased by it. She was more now, though. More than human, more than youkai. And she was his, as she was to no other. It was only fitting that she bear his offspring. Without thought, he released her hand and moved his along her stomach, where it came to rest over her womb. A daughter of the Goddess, mother to his child. No, he was not displeased, not at all. And that she was the first Guardian to...but how? 

Lucidity laid her hand over his suddenly, pulling the daiyoukai from his musings, and he glanced up at her to find that she was watching him. "I hate being the type of woman who does this," she said. "But, given the circumstances, I have to ask: what are you thinking about?"

"I'm curious," he said. "How did this happen?" 

Both eyebrows hiked towards her hairline at the question and a small smile played along her lips. "The usual way, I suspect," she said. 

"You know my meaning, woman," was his impatient reply. "How is that you are able to conceive? A Guardian does not bleed as other females do." 

"I don't know," she admitted with a sigh. "It's just...always been known to us that we can have children, something that Mother promised when Guardians first took physical form. But no Guardian has ever managed, or even bothered; it's never been in their nature." 

"But it is in yours?" 

"I wasn't born a Guardian," she told him. 

"That is not a sufficient explanation," he said. "Why are you the one to conceive after centuries of Guardians taking lovers? What makes you different from them, including Thalia?" 

"I'm me and they're them?" she offered, to which he frowned, and she shook her head. "Gods, Sesshomaru, I don't know. I honestly don't believe I'm any different, at least from Thalia. Maybe Mother allowed it to happen. Or maybe it's us, and we did something different, something my sisters haven't managed to do."

Something he and Lucidity had done? Was it possible? It had been many weeks since he'd taken her, over one full cycle of the moon, nearly two now. Her illness-symptoms, he amended-had not been present when she'd returned from the ocean, which meant that the night of the festival or the day after her seasonal slumber were the only times that-

Sesshomaru peered up at the boughs of the cherry tree swaying overhead as an unexpected thought occurred to him.

"What is it?" Lucidity asked.

"Hahaoya no Shikyu," he said, his voice low, as he stared at the blossoms. "I placed you in its branches after we laid together."

"Oh..." she murmured, then abruptly sat forward. "Oh! That...that would mean the extra day of sleep was.... That makes so much damn sense!" Her eyes were wide, gaping at nothing, as she touched her fingers to her lips in astonishment. "The Hahaoya no Shikyu. Each Guardian has some version of her own. The West the heart of her volcano, the South her sacred waters. And the First Tree gave the seed that the Hahaoya no Shikyu was born from. They all provide protection, concealment, a place to recover from wounds and sleep without threats. But Satomi used hers for more. She was able to resurrect those loyal to her who still wanted to serve. She was able to create Rusuban from the heart of the Isle because of it. The Hahaoya no Shikyu helps create life! Gods be damned! Why didn't I see it before?!"

And her excitement was such that she suddenly gathered her feet beneath her and started to rise, only for the daiyoukai to snag the back of her robes and yank her back down. A gasp broke from her as she landed in a heap on the mokomoko, his arm curled beneath her, and stared up at him with wide, blue eyes, mouth slightly ajar. He peered down at her, feeling his lips crease in disapproval. 

"What?" she asked after a brief spell of silence. "I can't get worked up about something?" 

"You are eager over a tree," he said, "but not a child, though you claim otherwise." 

"We figured something out that Satomi never knew about," she said. "Maybe none of the Guardians do. And I very much doubt that the Princes do. Considering what they want to do with us, other than killing, this will at least ensure that they won't succeed. If I really am pregnant, then-" 

"You _are_ pregnant, Lucidity," said the daiyoukai, unable to keep the trace of irritation out of his voice. "Why is that so difficult for you to believe? It is because my mother is the one who told you? She has no reason to lie. Why do you not accept the truth?" The expression that filled her face could only be described as troubled and the noise that escaped her, albeit little more than a sigh, betrayed her unease as she looked away. And when she ultimately did not reply, he let out a soft growl and seized her by the chin, forcing her to look at him. "You had best learn to accept it. Precautions need to be taken against our enemies. Not only the Princes, but there are youkai who will use your condition to their advantage if they are able." 

"Wonderful," she muttered. "Fucking spectacular. Would you let go already?" 

But his grip only hardened. "Do not be dismissive of this, Lucidity," he warned. 

In the end, she pulled herself free and sat up, glaring at him. "I'm not being dismissive. I'll take whatever precautions you want, in case I'm wrong. But I can't take this at face value, Sesshomaru. I just can't!" 

"Why?" he demanded. "Explain this mad reasoning of yours, woman, before I lose my patience." 

"Because I want to be wrong!" she hissed, her face inches from his. "I want it to be true! I'm afraid, yes, but the Princes will always be a threat. No matter if we win this battle or not, any child we have will always be in danger while they exist. I'm afraid of what might happen, but I'm even more afraid that your mother made a mistake. I'm not familiar with the method she used with the blood. I don't have any of the normal pregnancy symptoms and I don't expect to, but still. I can't get my hopes up, I can't get excited about...any of it, not if there's a chance.... Honestly, it's better to expect disappointment, that way you'll never be disappointed."

"Ridiculous," he said after a moment. "There is no sense to your logic. What manner of upbringing taught you such beliefs?"

This, however, appeared to be the wrong question to ask when the anger swiftly drained from her. He paused at the forlorn gleam that filled her eyes in place of that anger, before she turned her head to the side, hair falling across her face, and a self-conscious arm reaching across her body to grip at a shoulder. A sense of uncertainty settled over the daiyoukai, who drew back and leaned against the tree once more, gazing down at this woman whose emotions seemed to be as stable as water crashing between the rocks of a raging river.

As always, he could smell the tears before he saw them dripping down her cheeks and it wasn't long before she rolled over, presenting her back to him. He didn't stop her, didn't question her, and merely let her weight sink into the fur of his mokomoko. For a long while, he sat there with her resting between his legs and the steady scent of salt water drifting through the air. Every so often, there was an audible sniff, an occasional shiver to her shoulders, and Sesshomaru could only wonder why she didn't leave, if the question had so upset her. His hand reached out finally and raked the hair from her face, dragging it behind an ear to expose a wet cheek and closed eyes.

"Lucidity?"

Her eyes opened and she sat up, wiping at the tear tracks, but never answered. She did not have an opportunity, not with the scent he caught on the wind before he spotted his mother approaching, with a young female servant trailing behind her. But when Lucidity pressed back against him, he glanced at her, at the minute lines of exhaustion on her otherwise impassive face, and she met his gaze.

"[I'm not angry,]" she said unexpectedly. "[But only because there's no way for you to understand.]"

"What a strange language," his mother proclaimed before he could respond. "And you taught it to Sesshomaru? Why?"

"It's what he wanted," said Lucidity. "To understand me at all times. Bit pointless now, after I've learned so many languages from the memories."

His mother didn't answer, but lowered herself onto her knees in front of them, while the servant girl lingered in the background, head bowed and hands clasped in front of her. Meanwhile, his mother rearranged her furs around herself, then settled quietly, her gaze-a mirror of his own-shifting between he and Lucidity. "You are aware of her condition?" she asked, and he nodded. "Good. Then you know what measures to take. And Lucidity, I advise caution against changing forms from now on. I understand that your circumstances are unique, but you seem to have symptoms similar to those of youkai. I, myself, could not transform without becoming ill or faint. It is not unheard of for miscarriage to happen if a pregnant youkai shifts even once; you have been fortunate so far. The further along you are, the more dangerous it will be."

There was a subtle movement from Lucidity. "Anything else I should know?" she asked.

"You don't eat, correct? And you are supposed to sleep only once a season?"

Lucidity nodded.

"It's my belief that you will sleep more frequently," his mother declared. "My assumptions are based on my experience and what I have learned from other female youkai. We do not eat or sleep often, but this changes when we are pregnant. As I understand it, the same happens with humans as well. The baby depletes our energy and requires the sustenance from the food we consume. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that the baby is taking that sustenance directly from your power, which is what led you to sleep outside your normal cycle."

"That's not what Thalia said," Lucidity replied.

"The southern Guardian? Hmm, yes, but she didn't know you were pregnant," said his mother. "Whatever explanation she had, I do not doubt it would have been different."

The answer seemed to placate Lucidity, or at least she did not question further. His mother, meanwhile, had taken to glancing between them again and he could no more decipher the thoughts behind her gaze than he could Lucidity's at times. And when Lucidity shifted against him yet again, he wondered if his mother intended to comment on how he could permit such open displays of physical touch. But then he noticed those painted lips pulling upwards at the corners.

"What potency you must have, Sesshomaru," she said, causing his fingers to twitch at such an abrupt statement.

"Inukimi," Lucidity began. "What the-"

"It's surprising, really, that this happened so quickly," his mother continued, as though nothing had been said, and peered out over the garden. "I suspected it would take years, with so powerful a woman you have chosen. But the instinct to impregnate a mate is typical in males. And the stronger the female, the stronger the instinct. O, you should have seen the marks your father left on me! He was insatiable! And succeeded in the end, of course. Once he tasted my blood after his seed took, it dulled his needs, but he always remained such a beast."

"Mother, that is enough," said Sesshomaru as he stood, bringing Lucidity to her feet as well. "If you have nothing of use to discuss-"

"Very well, very well," she said as she, too, rose and gestured towards the servant, who took a few steps forward and bowed, before turning to Lucidity. "I would speak with Sesshomaru alone. Eiko will provide you with anything you might need while you wait. Accommodations have been arranged if you wish to stay."

There was no argument from Lucidity. Blue eyes were cast in his direction, but nothing more before she allowed the servant to lead her away. Sesshomaru, with his back to his mother, watched her until she was lost to sight. What other complications awaited them after this? What more could cross their path at this point? And how much use would Lucidity be? Distracted, as she was, would she be able to handle her position with the other Guardians? Would she be able to fight the Princes of Death with a clear mind and resolve?

"Are you displeased she is not happy?"

"What do you know of it, Mother?" he asked without looking back at her.

"I have performed enough tests with salamander blood that it is easy for me to spot a reluctant woman who does not want to be pregnant. Will she terminate it, do you know?"

"She won't."

"Good then. I will not have her destroying our family lineage."

"Mother, if you do not come to your point, I will take Lucidity and leave."

"Oh? What of the imp and dragon?"

Sesshomaru spared his mother a glance, just long enough to take in the serene expression on her face, the hint of amusement in her smile that was more mocking than indulging, before he turned and began to follow the trail of Lucidity's scent. Yet he had gone no more than a few paces when he heard his mother's voice.

"That white beast you encountered is not the first to invade our home."

He came to a stop, not far from where grass met stone, and listened to the soft footsteps of his mother's approach. And when she reached his line of sight, he met her gaze, serious now with no hint of ridicule. "There is unrest brewing," she continued. "There has been word from other youkai from the surrounding islands that encounters with creatures from other lands have been increasing, and now they have reached the mainland."

"How many?" asked the daiyoukai.

"More in these last few weeks than have been seen in years," said his mother. "I have also heard rumor of attacks along the coastline-"

"We are aware of that," he said. "And those who are responsible will be dealt with."

Golden eyes narrowed at him. "You know of these threats and have not-"

"That is our next destination, now that we know of Lucidity's condition."

"That is no excuse," his mother said, and he did not miss the thread of anger in her voice. "You should have sent her here with your servant and gone to eradicate the threat the moment you learned of its existence. You are lord to our territory, Sesshomaru. It is your duty to protect it. And now we have invaders coming to our shores. I would not be surprised if the Princes of Death are the cause behind this, bringing destruction to other parts of the world, and forcing inhabitants to flee. The Princes are Lucidity's responsibility, but you must put a stop to any creatures forcing their way into our territory."

"It is no longer your place to lecture me," said Sesshomaru. "If I wish to hear-"

"Such a disrespectful son," she cut in. "If you remembered _your_ place as lord of the western lands, it would not be necessary to lecture you. You should take care to reflect on what responsibilities a youkai of your standing should prioritize. These invaders must be made examples of. I will not have you ruining our family and besmirching our name over some gaijin you've become infatuated with."

The surge of fury was hot in his chest as Sesshomaru curled his fingers, claws clicking together, and he allowed a cold glare to settle onto his mother, making no attempt to hide his fury. "You waste your breath, Mother," he said, and his voice was low and tight, in an effort to keep his growl silent. "I have no interest in listening to your opinions; I know where my priorities lie."

It was rare to witness such open surprise break through his mother's stoicism. But once she recovered, the scowl she graced him with was brilliant in its anger. "You would put her before your duties?! If I had known she would bring about such an idiotic change in you, I never would have sanctified your union! I believed her a powerful ally. I see now that it was a mistake. She nothing but a foreign whore who has poisoned your mind. She will be the-" 

He caught the scent of his mother's blood before a thin line of it beaded to the surface of her skin. She stared at him, and he could not recall ever seeing such a perfect image of shock upon her suddenly pallid face. With her mouth ajar, she reached up and touched her cheek, fingers moving over the thin cut just below her eye. And Sesshomaru lowered his arm, the Whip retracting, and felt naught but a quiet rage burning through his veins, the sort of rage that promised swift death to any who crossed him, before he turned on his heel and left his mother there in her beloved garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, there is the pregnancy explanation. And now we have yet more discord brewing. Will there ever be an end? I sure hope not, because then I'd have little to write about.


	22. Chapter 22

Her hair was wet and heavy, but clean. Gloriously clean, cleaner than it had been in weeks. Soaps and oils were difficult to come by with their constant traveling and Lucidity had taken full advantage of the bathhouse and its supplies. If Sesshomaru had seen fit to bathe, so would she. She wouldn't be surprised if that also meant he intended to stay here for the night. Did he need to sleep, even after the rest he had had on Avalon? Or was he procrastinating on visiting the coast and the Viper Clan?

He must have felt at ease in Inukimi's palace, the home of his childhood, however long ago that might have been. Her gaze slid over to his armor and swords that sat in the far corner of the guest room. To leave such important weapons here unintended, he had to be confident that nothing would be taken or that no enemies would dare attack the palace. 

Sitting at the entrance, which was slid open to reveal the wooden walkway, shadowed by the eaves, that lined the guest house, Lucidity peered around at the ample space that had been provided as she dragged a thistle brush through her drying hair. The room was large enough to accommodate perhaps half a dozen people or so, but only two futons had been laid out, side-by-side, with fresh covers and rounded pillows. And the tatami mats that covered the floor were thickly woven and lined with golden silk. A brazier was lit nearby, with extra coal stacked beside it, that managed to warm the space with ease, so long as the door was kept shut. Overall, the room was sparse. Beyond some scrolls that covered the far wall and depicted paintings of what appeared to be daily life in the palace, there was nothing else here of interest.

Bringing her hair over to one shoulder, she pulled the brush through it a few more times before finally admitting that she had thoroughly groomed the entire length of her hair some time ago. She set the brush aside and rose to her feet, smoothing down the fabric of the borrowed kimono and obi she wore. Her fingers moved over the unfamiliar texture and patterns, dyed the colors of late autumn. Though the silk of the underrobe against her bare skin was not an unpleasant sensation, not by far, she simply preferred the light fabric of her own robes, which the servant, Eiko, had taken with her to wash.

Eiko had promised to return the clothes when Lucidity had shown her reluctance. Now Lucidity was beginning to wonder if anyone knew she was here waiting. Stepping out onto the walkway, she peered to one side, then the other before moving towards the railing that marked the edge of the palace where the guest house had been conveniently set up; out of mind, out of sight, apparently. She folded her arms along the railing and leaned forward. There was nothing but a steep slope beyond, the led into a path of forest down below. The canopy of trees stretched out, allowing little else to be seen beyond the occasional glimpse of grass, until it ended at a river that joined with the many others that rushed to the ends of this floating land.

The sun had fallen out of view and the sky was darkening with the coming night. Lucidity lifted her gaze to the first few stars and felt her heart given an unexpected shudder. For what reason, she didn't know. She was so...done with crying. Was it really hormones? Was it really so simple an explanation? A hand went to her stomach, but all she felt was a sickening dread that made her want to vomit, if such a thing was possible. If it was true, if the Hahaoya no Shikyu was actually the cause of this.... Lucidity shook her head and took her hand away. Gods, she wanted it to be true! She feared that it wasn't, and, in the same turn, feared that it was. And it was driving her mad! With a groan, she leaned her elbows against the railing and raked her hands through her hair, head bowed and eyes squeezed shut.

If she could just accept one truth or the other, then maybe she would be able to breathe! Sesshomaru was so certain, so adamant! She wished she could believe him, believe Inukimi. Blind faith? Is that what she needed? Not that she didn't trust their honesty, just their...methods. Another groan broke from her and her head dipped a bit lower, her body bending at the waist. Why couldn't she just let herself believe? Why did she have to be so afraid of either outcome?

"Get back here, you stupid beast!"

The distant cries of a familiar voice had Lucidity lifting her head. She straightened, peering out at the forest, and immediately noticed Ah-Un plodding alongside the river, moving upstream. A second later, Jaken came sprinting into view and managed to snatch the reins before Ah-Un could get much further.

"I let you out of my sight for one moment and this is what you do?!" shouted the imp. "Where do you think you're going? You're not welcome in the palace. Come on, you damn dragon. Move already!"

But Ah-Un wasn't budging. It looked as if Jaken was walking in place, for all the tugging and pulling he did on the reins. The two heads would raise now and then, only to lower and yank Jaken back a few steps, bringing on renewed cursing and shouting. And Lucidity quickly became absorbed with the little show, happy to enjoy this bit of entertainment, because she absolutely hated being alone with her thoughts right now.

"Lucidity!"

Daughter of a deity or not, she had never been prone to believing in answered prayers, or even saying prayers for that matter. But if there was some sort of divine intervention for Sesshomaru's sudden arrival, she was grateful, even if he'd spoken her name so harshly. And when she turned, she immediately noticed how brisk his pace was as he strode up the walkway. She managed to reach the entrance of the room at the same time he did.

"Get out of the way or get inside," he said in that same clipped tone.

She stared, before making a point of rolling her eyes and heading into the room, stooping briefly to pick up the brush. And even that elicited a growl from the daiyoukai, who slid the door shut with a snap behind him. "What is with you?" she asked. "What happened with Inukimi?"

"That is not your concern," he said as he crossed the room, heading towards his armor, without giving her so much as a passing glance.

"Sesshomaru!"

He stopped, but didn't turn around.

Lucidity, standing near the futons, stayed where she was, hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. "If you're going to take your temper out on me, I will damn well make it my business. So, knock it off and explain to me what happened or piss off altogether. Your choice."

"My choice?" he echoed. "You seem to be the only one who remembers that."

"What are you-"

"I tire of hearing the opinions of others about our union," he said as he turned to face her. And the anger that smoldered in his gaze as he advanced towards her made her think of the glowing coals in the brazier. His pace was determined and he cut a quick path across the tatami mats as he spoke. "The Fae King, the miko, my mother. I tire of listening to their constant prattling, telling me what I should expect from you, what actions I am obligated to perform. Do you understand, Lucidity?"

She...wasn't certain that she did. Where was all this coming from? What the hell had his mother said to set him off like this? The anger seemed to be radiating from his very skin. She could feel the heat of his body as he came closer, so close that he more than invaded her space. She kept moving away and he kept moving forward, one step after another until she collided against the wall beside the futons, gaping up at the raging daiyoukai.

"Do you understand?" he repeated, laying one hand on the wall beside her head, the other seizing her by the chin. "I will hear no more from anyone about the Guardian of the East. It is the woman I want, and everything she is able to offer."

Some noise, some...sound or other must have broken from her. Lucidity couldn't be certain. Beyond noticing that she had opened her mouth, she didn't know if she managed to say anything or not, because Sesshomaru's lips were on hers, soft and yet assertive at the same time. She could feel his tongue, caressing, exploring, and she was becoming swiftly reacquainted with his taste. Teeth and fangs moved over her lips, her jaw, and back up again. When had he taken his hand from her chin? When had she dropped the brush? It was at their feet, but she didn't remember it leaving her hand.

But then she felt a yank to the obi and the confusion fled her mind, replaced by a surge of panic. But it brief and fractured and immediately shoved aside as a feral growl resonated in her ear, filling her with a shudder that tightened things low in her body. They knew, now, what made that beast inside him snarl; his mother had inadvertently solved this torment of celibacy. And it was clear, as the obi fell to the floor and he began to shed her outer layer of kimono, that Sesshomaru had no more qualms about it.

She reached for him when he went for the cord that held her underrobe shut, only for him to seize her as soon as the cord dropped away and the underrobe fell open. He brought her arms above her head, clutching both wrists in one hand, and lifted her so high that her toes no longer touched the mats. Her heart was pounding so hard that she could feel the echo of it in her own ears and she swallowed around the constriction in her throat, hearing-what seemed to her-a distant noise of labored breathing; yet it was her own, she knew. And as those fierce, golden eyes watched her crumble, she let out a quivering moan when Sesshomaru lifted her leg around his waist. She didn't stop to question, to consider, to reflect in any way, but wrapped her other leg around him as well and felt him press against her in return.

His mouth was suddenly on her throat and she let out a gasp, arching against him. She couldn't seem to regain her breath or calm her heart, not when he was smothering her so completely, trapped by the weight of his body that threatened to crush her, that she wanted to crush her, and rather desperately at that. She moaned at the hot touch of his mouth trailing over the side of her neck, until his teeth caught the lobe of her ear.

"Gods, Sesshomaru!" she panted. "Please! I-"

"Silence, woman," came the sharp growl in her ear, and she nearly choked on her own voice. "Give me this," he continued, but her mind was so splintered that she could barely focus beyond the hand reaching between them, the other squeezing at her wrists. "Give me your submission."

"M-my...what?" she gasped, hardly able to form a sentence, let alone a coherent thought. What the hell had possessed her youkai lord?!

"Submission, woman. Your obedience."

And then she felt him, swollen and unrestrained.

"You are the Guardian. You are the Lady East."

He was sliding against her, his breath coating her cheek, his mouth moving over her ear with every word he spoke, and his voice caressed something deep inside her, a blind passion that was beyond seduction. He was destroying her, destroying her mind, her will, everything that made her aware, made her think and feel and judge. He reduced her to nothing but this shuddering body of heat and flesh, this yearning that made her toes curl and her breasts heave, the nipples contracting at the barest touch.

"No one can lay claim to the Guardian," said the voice in her ear. "But I want the woman. Give me what you can, Lucidity. Here, with me, when I hold your pleasure in my hand, I would have you yield to me."

Pleasure in his hand...? Pleasure in...hand...and submit when her mind was gone with passion. She remembered. Even if she didn't understand, she remembered, and her head lolled to the side, coming to rest against her arm, and she arched when he moved against her once more, the rigid heat of him pushing into her. Not quite there, but she was already shaking, her head spinning, and her vision was swimming as she tried to focus. But once she did, she leaned forward clamped her mouth onto the shell of that pointed ear, and heard the low catch in his throat. 

"Yes, yes," she breathed. "Anything my lord husband desires, I will give."

She was not...entirely prepared for the fangs that latched onto her throat with such force that she knocked her head back against the wall, and she would never be certain at what made her cry out in this moment: Sesshomaru's bite or his penetration. Her throat was sore before she realized her voice was still tearing from her, out of her control, and she could feel herself trembling, positively convulsing, as he stretched and filled the tight walls of her body. Weeks, months, it had been, and every inch of him was sliding inside her as if no time had passed. She could feel him, feel everything, right down to her toes, and he was moving, lifting her, his claws scraping the skin of her hip while he kept her wrists pinned above her head. With brute strength alone, he held her in place and took what he pleased, and she could do little more than hang there, trying desperately to concentrate, just enough to keep her legs locked around his waist. But his movements were so fast, so impatient, and it seemed as if she wouldn't be able to stop herself from slipping, from losing her grip. Any second it felt as if she was about to fall, but it never happened. He held her and took her, and she let him.

In some vague part of her mind, she noticed the grip had disappeared from her wrists. Both of his hands were now on her hips, slipping lower, and he was lifting her higher along the wall, until she was peering down at his crown of silver hair, felt the caress of breath on her chest, and her arms fell around his neck. He was driving himself into her, and each jolt was like a shockwave, as though he was determined that the pleasure would echo throughout every last bone in her body. Or maybe that was her voice echoing, a reverberation so deep that it drowned out all other sound. But she could hear him, the sound of his ragged panting, the impact of their bodies meeting. Again and again, until his frame stiffened, until his muscles strained, and she caught a glimpse of his face beneath his bangs, of the eyes that were shut tight, the teeth that were bared, and the cheeks that were flushed. And a strangled moan reached her ears, ending on a growl so feral that it had her pulse skipping. 

For a long while, neither of them moved. Trapped between Sesshomaru and the wall, Lucidity let her cheek come to rest on the top of his head, her arms limp around his neck. She listened to the sound of his labored breathing, felt the sweat along his skin beneath her fingers, and tried to ignore the dull ache between her legs where they were still connected. But then he moved, his hands gliding down the back of her thighs, and lowered her to the floor as he slid out of her in the same instant. He went through the familiar motions of adjusting his hakama into place, concealing himself with such ease that he was able to look presentable, while she remained thoroughly debauched.

She stood there, watching him, mesmerized in a way as she tried to regain her bearings, fingers sliding over smooth wood of the wall behind her. She still...didn't know what had just happened and wondered if he would even explain. And then she realized that he was standing there just as she was, quiet and unmoving, with his hands at his sides, and she lifted her head, to be met by a clear, golden gaze. She expected him to turn away, to say nothing, and, to an extent, she was right. No words were exchanged, but she did suddenly find her face caught by his hands, tilting her head up, and his mouth sealed to hers.

There was an inviting warmth to the kiss, nothing like the rabid need he had displayed moments ago. Slow, firm, the touch of his tongue like a whisper, and when he drew back, his eyes swept over her, lingering, and she reached up to grasp hold of his wrist. He bent to kiss her again and, somehow, it felt as if he was trying to say, "thank you," though she couldn't recall such a phrase ever passing his lips. Actions, however, spoke louder than words.

* * *

The orange glow of sunlight no longer burned through the screen of the door. The only source of light that remained was flickering from the coals in the brazier, casting shadows here or there throughout the otherwise dark room. Lucidity watched the glow of the coals and their shadows from where she lay on her side along the futons, the mokomoko surrounding both her and Sesshomaru, who was stretched out behind her. His arm was draped over her and she'd taken his hand captive some time ago, clutching it to her chest and absently running her thumb along his knuckles every so often. She could feel his chin resting on the top of her head and the rhythmic caress of breath against her hair. Yet she knew, just from the sound, that he was not asleep. And she, herself, was not the least bit fatigued. She simply had no wish to move, not even to speak, wanting to bask in this reprieve from reality, and let the world stay behind the closed door that had lost the light of the day.

It was a sigh that broke the silence. Not hers, but Sesshomaru's, a deep exhale of breath through the nose before he curled himself closer around her, as though to shield her from any outside threat. The act would have been trivial coming from just about anyone else. Yet, for her youkai lord, it might as well have been a confession. One of distress or contentment, she didn't know, and it brought to mind several questions that she just couldn't bear to ask, not right now, not when laying here was the most relaxed she'd been in months. Until his arm moved. Not the one she held, but the one that was trapped beneath her body, so that he might place his hand against her stomach. She closed her eyes, wishing he had been reaching for something else, as he'd done the other night. But, of course, he was still caught up with...everything else. 

"Lucidity," came the soft rumble behind her.

She felt her shoulders hunch before she realized what she'd done. He was going to lecture her, tell her that she would eventually accept the truth or that she needed to face it here and now. Gods, she just knew that he wouldn't let this-

"Who insulted you?" 

Lucidity opened her eyes, blinking several times and almost certain she had misheard. The question was so out of the blue, so bewildering, that she couldn't stop herself from lifting her head and peering over her shoulder. Yet she could see so little of his face at this angle that she was forced to roll onto her back and his hand, no longer held hostage against her chest, came to rest on her leg, claws snagging the fabric of the robe she still wore. He peered down at her, head resting on the mokomoko, and his expression was so perfectly smooth and blank that she questioned why she had bothered making such an effort to look at him. 

"What are you talking about?" she asked. 

"You made mention earlier that others had insulted you, for desiring to produce children," he reminded her. "Who were they?" 

And their argument came rushing back, bringing a sigh to her lips as she turned onto her side so that she was now facing him; though, she had more of a view of his chest and throat than his actual face, with their bodies so close together. "No one important," she said. "Friends who came and went over the years. People I worked with. They didn't so much as insult me as they scoffed at my goals and said things like I should live my life first before throwing it away." 

"Ridiculous," said the daiyoukai, and the note of irritation in his voice made her smile, if only slightly. "Why spout such foolishness?" 

A soft snort, barely more than a breath, escaped her. 

"You find the question amusing?" Sesshomaru demanded. 

"A bit," she admitted. "It's just...a different time, different priorities and values, is all. The people from the generation I was born into, and even ones from my father's, would tell me to go out and travel the world, experience everything there was to experience. And I would tell them that I could visit every country on the planet, and it wouldn't mean a damn thing to me if I couldn't be a mother. I wanted to settle down, have a quiet life, and raise a family, and a lot of people found that unusual." 

"No more unusual than I find their logic," he replied. "Children are a means to ensure the family survives. Do they not understand?" 

"Of course," said Lucidity. "They just don't care. They don't want children or decide to wait until they're older and never manage-"

"Older?" Sesshomaru repeated. 

With another sigh, she drew back and peered up at him. "It's a lot to explain," she said. "And I don't really want to get into too much detail right now, but I will tell you that I would be considered barely old enough to start a family if we were in my era. I'd be expected to establish myself first, create a means of living on my own, and, really, I had such a vague interest in marriage that I expected it, too." 

There had been little shift in his expression, not even a minute twitch of his fingers. But at these words, a small frown creased his mouth. "You wished for children without a husband? Is this common in your time?" 

She shrugged. "My father wouldn't have been happy I'd done that; unfair to the child not to have both parents, he said. But, yeah, it's become common." 

The lines on Sesshomaru's face deepened with distaste at this and he shifted onto his back, obviously revolted at the mere thought of so many born out of wedlock. "I do not care for this era of yours," he said, then his gaze drifted from the ceiling to Lucidity. "And you did not care for marriage?" 

"Don't take it so personally," she said as she sat up and, gathering the loose robe around herself, folded her arms across it to hold the material in place. "We're not so different in that mindset, after all."

Sesshomaru didn't move, opting, instead, to continue frowning at her. "Explain."  

"The culture I was raised in, no one openly admits to marrying for gain. No arranged marriages or anything of the sort. It's supposed to be for love." She made a face and shook her head.

"You do not approve?"

"I thought it was...ridiculous," she said, offering a bitter smile. "I never knew anyone with a healthy partnership growing up, whether they were married or not. Older generations forced to stay together out of social expectations, even if they'd come to hate each other. Younger generations marrying and separating like changing out seasonal kimono. Just a messy, emotional ordeal that I was never really interested in, unless it was for some monetary gain."

There was no reply from the daiyoukai. He merely watched her with that usual, stoic expression, long enough that she started to feel as if she had revealed too much. It brought no relief when he looked back at the ceiling, giving no hint of his inner thoughts. She hesitated a moment, then leaned over him, releasing the robe to place a hand on either side of his head. As the robe hung open and her hair tumbled over her shoulders, she peered down at Sesshomaru, at the way his eyes flicked towards her body, then back to her face.

"Was that not something you wanted to hear?" she asked.

He glanced down once more and this time his gaze did not come back up. Rather, he eased his hands beneath her clothing, to touch the bare skin of her waist, and his thumbs caressed over the taut muscles of her stomach. "No," came the deep timbre of his voice that evoked an unbidden rush of responses low in her body. "You're right; we are of the same mindset."

With her hair shielding their faces like a curtain, Lucidity kissed him. There was no hesitation from the daiyoukai. His arm immediately slid across her waist, pinning her to him, as his hand moved to the back of her neck, fingers slipping into her hair. His embrace was fervent, possessive even, and the way he feasted on her mouth, she might as well have been shoved to the ground and given no choice but to submit. But she did manage to pull away, her lips hovering over his, just enough to utter a single word. 

"Were," she whispered. 

"Were," he agreed, and she kissed him again. 

And the longer she kissed him, the more she forgot. She forgot about where they were and what had brought them here, forgot about the dark shadow that hovered over their lives, forgot about how he came to her, so furious and agitated and seemingly desperate to have her, forgot every last question she had, and simply let it be. All that mattered was that he was here, now, and she wouldn't allow anything or anyone to interrupt them, not even Mother Goddess Herself. 

Lucidity reached down and tugged at the knot of his sash as she moved her mouth from his, to lick and nip at his chin. A soft reverberation of a growl filled her ears and she grinned, dragging her tongue over his Adam's apple, while managing to pull the sash loose. She pushed at his haori, revealing the bare skin and firm muscle beneath, and took delight in sliding her hand over his chest. Yet when she attempted to sit up, he held fast to her nape. 

"What are you doing, woman?" he asked, and she couldn't suppress the shiver at the roughness in his voice, the edge of a growl in his words.

"I should think it obvious," she murmured, taking hold of his wrist and peeling his hand away, to push it down beside his head. She eased herself up and grinned at him. "I want my youkai lord, right here, where I can explore him at my leisure."

There was no change in his expression, no movement of his mouth. It was his fingers, how they flexed, that betrayed what he might be thinking. She was still clutching his wrist as his claws slid against one another, and then his tongue moistened his lips and he let out a soft breath. "As you wish."

He'd been uneasy, she realized. A tension had fled him right before he spoke; however subtle it had been, she noticed all the same. What had made him so nervous? It wasn't as if she was going to force him. Or perhaps he simply didn't like giving up control. Her gaze came to rest on the wrist she held, then further down, at the face turned towards her, golden eyes so focused and unwavering. The fingers of her free hand touched his collar bone, tracing over it, before moving lower, along the center of his chest, which rose and fell as he breathed. She laid her hand flat here, feeling the steady heartbeat, just as he had done with her many times. And then she moved on, to the shadows of muscles that outlined his stomach every time he inhaled, and she traced these, as well. She lingered a moment on the scar, a patch of pale discoloration on the otherwise flawless skin; the wound had never fully healed over, and she still marveled now and then that the only marks he bore were because of her, including the one on his shoulder.

Finally, she took hold of the ties that held his hakama together, loosening them enough until she was able to slide her hand inside. He was full and hard and it made her heart skip a beat, or two, at being able to touch him again after so long; the other night hadn't been enough, knowing that she could not truly have him. But now she looked back up and felt a thrill go through her at the sight of him, watching her so openly, utterly unabashed as she freed him from the hakama. And she began to stroke him, feeling that hot rigidness beneath her fingers, the familiar contours of the swollen organ that had made her see stars, too many times beyond the counting. And still, he never looked away from her. She had to take a deep breath, her back straightening, as she continued holding his wrist, her hand moving over him, from base to tip and back again, until she noticed a flickering waver in his gaze and saw the rising color in his cheeks. His eyes closed, then opened, and there was a headiness in their depths that quickened her touch, that had the daiyoukai pressing his heel into the futon and working his jaw to keep silent, to keep himself in control.

Control.

Submission.

Her grip tightened on his wrist and, though his focus was slipping, there was a twitch in the muscles around his eyes as he winced and reached up. Her reaction was instant and, in a sudden movement that he could not prevent in his distraction, she seized both his wrists with one hand and pinned his arms just above his head, elbows bent outward. His eyes snapped open, fixed on her, and she never stopped. Her hand continued to move over him, thumb pushing briefly against the tip of his organ, at the fluid that had gathered, before smearing it down his length, coating him until he glistened. And at the same time, she squeezed his wrists, watching at how he gritted his teeth, how he began to twist his hands, how his lower body began to move, hips rising, one leg being lifted and foot pressing flat to the futon, as though he intended to stand altogether.

"Mmm, what a sight you are," she murmured, which elicited a growl from the daiyoukai, his heated glare coming to rest on her. And in spite of these mute protests, he never softened in her hand and the longer she stroked him, the more he writhed, or as much as a proud youkai lord could writhe; a subtle shift of the hips, the strain of his arms against her grip, which had grown so tight that it would have shattered human bone. His back arched as more fluid dripped from him and she ached to taste him, to take him inside her. She settled, instead, for releasing his tormented organ and flinging a leg over his waist to straddle him. Seizing his chin, she crushed her mouth to his, thrusting her tongue inside, even as he continued to struggle. She could feel the trickle of his power and matched it with her own, until he snarled once more and dragged his fang across her bottom lip. She bit his in return, neither drawing blood just yet, and rolled her hips against him, letting him feel the dampness between her legs. He shuddered and broke the embrace, gasping for breath, glowering while she smiled.

"Enough of that," she admonished.

"Lucidity," he growled.

"Are you not amused?" she asked, taking her hand from his chin so that he might see the soft glow of energy of her fist. "You know that I can manifest my power into any weapon I desire, but it isn't limited to blades." And here, several links of white chain slipped free. "I can use these if it's too much for you to simply lie there and let me have you."

With his chest heaving as he labored to regain his breath, his eyes darted to the chains, then back to her face. He shook his head, a fraction of a movement, but enough to convey his meaning. There was that, and also how he relaxed beneath her, his hands growing limp in her grasp, claws no longer threatening to cut into her skin. Smiling, Lucidity severed the thread of power and the chains faded into nothing, before leaning down and pressing her lips to his. To some extent, it was a surprise that he opened his mouth to her, accepting the kiss, accepted what she was doing. She expected more of a protest, or maybe he had always been capable of yielding...to the right person.

"Stay," she whispered upon drawing back, gazing down at him. He bared his fangs at her, but said nothing. She squeezed his wrists one more time, then slowly relaxed her grip. Neither of them looked away from the other, as though in a silent battle of wills. He didn't move as she sat back on his thighs, both hands on his waist. Narrowed, golden eyes followed her as she slid down his legs and settled between them. If he broke and flung her down, she wasn't certain what she would do, if she would attempt to regain control or not. And yet, he never reached out, never budged, but laid there as she took hold of his hakama and pulled the clothing down his thighs. He'd removed his boots before laying down on the futons, so there was nothing to hinder her as she tossed the hakama aside, along with the robe that still hung from her frame.

He hadn't looked away from her, nor had he moved his arms. His hands were still above his head and she couldn't help but wonder if he really was obeying, or just biding his time. Kneeling between his legs, it was too tempting not to, especially with those heated eyes fixated on her every action. With her hair falling around her face, she dragged her tongue over his swollen length, tasting the sweetness of herself mixed with the heady flavor of daiyoukai. She could barely keep the groan from her lips as she clutched the base of him and took him into her mouth. He stiffened beneath her, and she thought she heard his breath hitch as she swallowed him. Ever mindful of teeth, she let her lips and tongue play along the organ.

How would he react, she wondered, if he knew that she used the memories to please him this way? She had such limited experience, but Satomi...Satomi most definitely did not. The former Guardian had had more than her fair share of lovers over the centuries, long before she had met the man who had eventually become her husband. The things she had learned, the techniques, Lucidity pulled from those and the result was mesmerizing. To witness Sesshomaru succumb, to hear the noises that echoed behind his pursed lips, the tremor in his body as he strained not to move, was making her tremble. And, gods, his face! Looking up at him, she could see the way his lips drew back as he gritted his teeth, how his eyes squeezed shut, as if he was trying to refuse the pleasure, tried so desperately not to enjoy himself. And then he tilted his head back, until she could see nothing but the line of his throat, and the sound of tearing fabric reached her ears; it was all becoming too much.

Lucidity was moving, climbing on top of him once more, and saw that his claws had torn into one of the rounded pillows that had been covered by the mokomoko. Now it was in shreds and Sesshomaru was glaring up at her, as if to blame her for the death of the pillow at his hands. Leaning forward, she laid her hand against his cheek, feeling how warm he was, and his claws dug into the remains of fabric and filling. She could see the flex of bones in his wrists in his effort to restrain himself, which only became more prominent when she reached between them and wrapped her fingers around him. Bracing her other hand on his chest, she pressed him to her entrance and eased herself back, feeling his girth spread her tight folds inch-by-inch. Her moan was like a fresh breath of air after being caught under water for far too long. She was shivering, as if he had never penetrated her before tonight, and laid both hands on his chest, little noises spilling from her lips, almost whimpers in a way.

And it took several long moments before she was able to move. But gods! Once she did, she could feel every last part of him echoing through every last part of her. Her hips rolled and her body sang with pleasure that she wanted again and again. And he was finally reaching for her, those firm hands taking her by the waist. But his grip was passive. He simply rested his hands there as she rocked herself into him, with determined strokes that seemed to force him deeper and deeper. And he was groaning with each movement, his lips parted, his eyes clouded with desire. He was so far from the cold, calculating youkai lord he presented to the world. This was for her, only her.

Taking his face in her hands, she laid herself over him and pressed her mouth to his, making no effort to silence her moans, to control her shivering. She kissed him and he kissed her, their tongues sliding over one another, teeth there and gone, as she dragged him upright.

"Gods, I've missed this," she breathed against his lips, and the briefest of growls escaped him before he snatched her mouth in another, heated embrace. She felt his arms wrap around her, gliding along her back and waist.

And then, he rolled them over, shedding the haori that had been clinging to him all this while. His hand was on her inner thigh, pushing her legs apart, and he thrust into her. She didn't know if she cried out or not. There was an ache in her throat that suggested it was possible, but he was already kissing her again as he lifted her leg around his waist, driving himself into her, reaching deep, deep inside to that special spot, the one that made her see more stars than the night sky could ever provide. Her mind was spinning. She couldn't think, couldn't protest, couldn't do anything but lay there as he eased himself on top of her, feasting on her mouth like a last meal and dragging the air from her lungs, as though determined he would be the one to breathe life back into her. She was hardly aware of wrapping her arms around him, pulling her to him, moaning, almost pleading for more, with every movement of his hips, every stroke of his organ thrusting inside.

"That's it, that's it!" The words were spilling from her before she realized, and even then she didn't care to silence herself. "Gods, Sesshomaru! Keep going, right there, right there!"

He snarled then, a hard penetration right in her ear that had her arching against him, her walls tightening around him. "Damn you, woman!" he hissed.

"Say it," she gasped as he jolted her beneath him, rocking her into the futons, their bodies slick with sweat and sliding together. "Say my name!"

He moved harder, deeper, his body smothering hers, his breath hot on her ear. His claws were tearing at the futons, at her skin, and she felt the touch of fang along her lobe. "Lucidity," he breathed, then louder still, "Lucidity!"

And the dam that held everything back, kept her in the illusion of control, shattered and the pleasure washed over her, flooding her mind, her senses, as she cried out for her youkai lord, who never stopped moving, never gave her a chance to recover, but took her with a wild abandonment that destroyed every last coherent thought or ounce of awareness into a blissful oblivion. And somewhere in that oblivion, she heard the rumble of a beast, felt him shudder against her, and felt the seed between her legs as he emptied himself inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for early updates! I'm a little ahead in the coming chapters and wanted to share the love. And there is much lovin' going on! It appears as if someone has a bit of a dominatrix complex XD!


	23. Chapter 23

"You have never behaved in such a way before."

"You have never deprived me of sex so long before."

There was no answer from Sesshomaru. Lucidity glanced over from where she lay on her back beside him, amidst the chaos that had once been immaculate and presentable futons. Now there were only shreds of pillows and blankets. Sesshomaru turned his head to meet her gaze and she offered him a smile, in spite of the ripple of uncertainty that churned in her stomach. They were both a mess, covered in sweat that was still drying, hair disheveled, markings and fluids decorating their bodies; made the entire point of a bath, well, pointless.

"Did you not enjoy it?" she asked.

"I allowed it because it was what you wanted," he replied. "Or was I mistaken about your talk of chains?"

"That's not what I asked," she said. "Did you enjoy it or not?"

Again, he didn't answer, but peered back at the ceiling. With a sigh, she rolled onto her side, laying a hand his shoulder and pressing her lips to the salty skin. "Sesshomaru?"

He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath through his nose, a rather resigned sound. "It was not displeasing," he finally said, and she knew that was the most he would admit aloud...for now. She kissed his shoulder once more and he glanced over at her. "I do not wish it to be a frequent occurrence."

"No," she agreed. "I don't think it will; I was just...in a mood, I guess. You can relate, right?" And when he merely grunted in response, she shifted a bit closer. "So...no more of this celibacy insanity?" 

Sesshomaru said nothing. His eyes opened and slid over to her, the thought behind them as inscrutable as always. The next moment, however, Lucidity found herself on her back with a daiyoukai looming above her. His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her cheek, but it was the hand between her legs and the fingers pushing inside that truly caught her off guard. A short cry broke from her; she was more alarmed than anything, gaping up at him and grasping at whatever she could reach. 

"W-what are you doing?" she panted, nails digging into his skin from where she clutched at his arm. "You don't...don't mean to, a-again? So...so soon?" 

"You ask stupid questions, woman," he said, before dragging his tongue along the shell of her ear and pushing the pad of his thumb against her knot of pleasure, bringing a shiver to her body. "I could taste the difference in your blood the day we left Avalon, but I assume you require a more obvious answer. Is sating myself twice with you not enough?”

"You ass-Ah!"

Lucidity clamped a hand over her mouth, startled by her own gasp, when those fingers thrust and his teeth seized her breast in the same instant. 

"The evening has left you sensitive," murmured the daiyoukai, and the amusement in his voice was unmistakable, rare though it was. 

"And whose fault is that?" she asked from behind her fingers, only to moan when his thumb caressed her again; he was steadily beginning to work her from the inside out, making her legs tremble and her breath grow shallow, until she bit down on a knuckle to keep herself quiet. 

"This Sesshomaru is willing to accept the blame," rumbled that deep voice against her as a knee spread her legs further apart. "If you are willing to submit once more?"

"Now who is asking the stupid questions?" she countered, and received a sharp pinch below for her trouble. She cried out once more, back arching and gripping hard at both the futon and Sesshomaru, who refused to cease his torment. His fingers were knuckle-deep inside her as he pushed himself up onto his other hand, gazing at her with such a placid expression that a stranger might assume that he was simply examining a sword, rather than reducing his wife to a quivering mess. 

And then, without warning, he stopped. Lucidity could feel herself contracting around his fingers, but tried to focus as he turn his head to glance over at the entrance of their room. She wondered for only a moment what had caught his attention, before hearing the soft footsteps along the wooden walkway. Whoever the person was had stopped outside the door and she felt herself grow tense, fearing it would roll open any second.

All that happened, however, was a tentative voice calling out, "Lady Lucidity? It's Eiko. Please pardon my intrusion." 

Sesshomaru looked back at Lucidity, before he suddenly extracted his fingers and lowered himself on top of her. "Answer her," he whispered into Lucidity's ear, and she felt the brush of him against her inner thigh, as hard and ready as if he had never touched her until this moment.

"Y-you can't mean-" she began, voice low, but bit down on her lip as he pressed against her, pushing at her threshold.

"Lady Lucidity?" Eiko called out. "Are you there? Are you...awake? My Lady?"

"Answer her," Sesshomaru repeated as Lucidity clung to him and promptly bit down onto his shoulder; he was barely inside, just the swollen head of him spreading her, as though testing...seeing if she would obey. "Now, Lucidity," he added in a soft growl.

"I'm...I'm here," she finally called out, and was rewarded with a sharp jolt of Sesshomaru's hips as he plunged himself into her depths. It was all she could do not to make a sound, her head rocking back into the futon, eyes wide and fixed on the ceiling. And he started to move, so that she really did have to keep a hand over her mouth this time, desperate not to be heard.

"I have your robes, my Lady," Eiko said through the door. "Would you like to change into them so that I might take the kimono back?"

Lucidity felt Sesshomaru's tongue on the side of her neck, gliding down to the junction of her shoulder, where his fangs clamped onto her skin, hard enough that she let out a gasp.

"My Lady?" called Eiko.

Sesshomaru thrust harder.

"N-no," Lucidity stammered, listening to that damn daiyoukai grunting into her ear every time he slid into her wet folds, stabbing at her as if she was nothing more than a piece of meat. And.... Gods, what was she about to say?!

"Shall I just leave the clothes with you, then, my Lady?" asked the servant.

Screwing her eyes shut, Lucidity reached above her head, fingers clawing at the remains of the bedding, with her body arching and breasts bouncing with each jostle to her frame. "Outside!" she nearly cried out. "Leave the robes outside!"

The daiyoukai was clutching at her something fierce, one arm sliding beneath her, as he braced himself with the other, lifting her lower body to him, and took her, again and again, with that mouth of his right above her ear, panting hard and heavy like a rutting animal. And surely Eiko could hear the sound of his hips slapping against her? Hear the moans that passed her lips? The sound of labored breathing?

"Yes, my Lady," answered the servant, followed by a blessed silence. No more talking. No more questions. And yet...no retreating footsteps either. She wouldn't dare listen in, would she? But then, "Eeto, Lady Lucidity, do you know where Sesshomaru-sama is?"

Lucidity...wanted to scream and curse and laugh all at once. She settled for covering her mouth with both hands, instead, as the youkai lord in question let out a rough noise low in his throat, one that seemed...entertained by the turn of the conversation. He never stopped moving inside her, though his strokes were becoming long, drawn out, as though he was savoring each penetration like rich chocolate on the tongue. And she felt each one with a mounting eagerness that was making it nigh impossible to concentrate. How to answer? What to do? Be honest? Or...play? 

"I...." Lucidity had to swallow as fangs caressed her throat and she brought her hands hardly an inch from her mouth. "I...I haven't seen him." 

Her neck nearly tore when Sesshomaru bit down, his shoulders heaving and his hips suddenly stopping, and she quickly smothered her mouth again. For several long heartbeats, neither of them moved or made a sound, but simply lay there, locked together in their game of amused pleasure. And then, Sesshomaru pushed himself up onto his knees, seized her by the waist, and dragged her towards him until her legs were spread, rather obscenely, in the air on either side of him. His claws dug into her skin as he thrust into her, faster than before, and she was at his complete mercy as she tried to stay silent.

"Are you certain, my Lady?" Eiko called out. 

"Yes!" Lucidity shouted, and saw his lips curve at the corner. "I'm sure I would remember seeing my husband!" 

His hands slipped beneath her knees, grabbing at her thighs, and lifted her higher, and he drove himself in deeper. 

"As you say, my Lady," said Eiko after a moment. "If you do come across him, please let Sesshomaru-sama know that his mother wishes an audience with him. Have a good night, my Lady. Please let us know if there is anything that you need." 

Lucidity barely registered the footsteps that were finally fading away. She heard only the rumble resonating through the daiyoukai, his displeasure at the mere mention of Inukimi. And, with little warning, he was bearing down on her, pressing her knees to her chest until her spine was bowed to the point of pain. And still the weight of him pushed down, rocking her into the floor, with the futon being the only source of relief. Yet it didn't matter. She could still feel the swell of him splitting her and the mounting warmth low in her stomach, a pressure that had her fingers scrambling for whatever she could reach above her head.

And she stared up at Sesshomaru through her lashes, at the strain in his expression, the fire in his gaze, and could understand nothing as she let the orgasm claim her, let herself writhe and moan and reach for her youkai lord, who lowered her back down and laid himself over her, who claimed her mouth for his own and devoured her until he, too, succumbed, groaning his release. 

The weight of him was a pleasure unto itself and her arms were wrapped tight around his neck, fingers sliding through his silken locks that clung to the sweat of his back. So raw, so open and bare, the two of them, laying together, their limbs tangled, their breath mingling, ears filled with the rapid pulse of beating hearts. His head was on her chest and she buried her hands into his hair, holding him there, refusing to let go. It had been too long, life had become too erratic, and the only thing she wanted was this: a moment of peace, of perfect clarity where nothing else could matter, where nothing else _should_ matter. 

And it all came to an end. 

There was a reason she clung so fiercely, why she didn't want him to move, and gave a grunt of protest when he eased himself up. But he simply pulled free of her and rose to his feet with a familiar, fluid grace that reminded even the dimmest of men just how deadly that body of his could be. As he looked down at her, she knew it was over. No more hiding. No more...pretending that nothing was waiting for them.

"Do you have to go?” she muttered, not yet daring to move, as though something would be broken if she did.

"If you must ask, then you know the answer,” said Sesshomaru as he gathered the clothes that had been tossed so carelessly about and began to dress

Lucidity tried not to sigh as she sat up, watching him tighten the strings of the hakama, then pull on his haori and secure it in place. Yet before he could pick up his boots or armor, he suddenly strode towards the door and slid it open. On impulse, Lucidity covered her breasts with an arm and drew her legs up as her body was exposed to the cool night air. There was no one outside, however, only a neat pile of folded robes that Sesshomaru stooped to gather, before rolling the door shut and walking back over. She stared up at him as he stood over her, but she made no move to take the clothes. 

"How about a bath first?" she suggested, and he frowned in return, dropping the pile in front of her.

"Get dressed," he said.

"Why? You want me to come with you?"

He didn't answer. In fact, no further words were exchanged as the daiyoukai went through the motions of making himself presentable to the outside world and, reluctantly, she did the same. She used some of the tattered remains to wipe herself clean, knowing another bath really would be needed at some point in the near future, before she stood and drew on the robe, securing the sash around it with the usual silver clasp in the back. By the time she was finished, Sesshomaru was fully attired, armor and all, and sliding Bakusaiga and Tenseiga into place at his waist while making his way towards the exit. 

The palace was quiet and empty when they stepped out. Even the singing of crickets and other insects was oddly absent; or perhaps they simply didn't bother venturing to a land so far above the earth. Lucidity followed Sesshomaru along the paths he and his mother knew so well, and was surprised when they came across, not Inukimi, but Jaken and Ah-Un at the front steps by the unoccupied red throne.

"Are you not going to see your mother?" she asked as the imp hurried over, carrying his Staff and abandoning Ah-Un at the head of the stairs.

"We are leaving," announced the daiyoukai. 

This time, it was Lucidity's turn to frown. "You ever going to tell me what happened between you two?" 

"After we are gone from here." 

As abrupt as his decision was, she accepted the answer. There was no point in prying and delaying them further, considering she didn't like being here, probably no more than Sesshomaru did; she'd only wanted more time alone with him, away from everything else. Now, however, she was willing to exchange that for the sake of getting off this floating home of her dear mother-in-law. 

"Did you find the answers you came for, Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken asked, but there was no response from the youkai lord, who walked right past him towards the stairs. There was a distinct slump in Jaken's shoulders as he turned towards Lucidity. "My Lady?" 

"It looks that way, yes," she said. 

"Gobodo-sama was able to find out why you've been ill?" asked the imp. "Did she tell you the cure?" 

Lucidity had to grab at her robes to prevent herself from touching her stomach and gritted her teeth a moment; she most definitely didn't want to think on this right now, or any time soon, actually; she'd almost managed to make herself forget in the few stolen hours with Sesshomaru. "I supposed," she finally replied. 

"What is it? Is it something horrible? Something that the Princes of Death have done to you? What is the cure? You know I will not rest until we find-" 

"She is pregnant, little youkai," declared a new voice, and Lucidity turned around to see Inukimi strolling towards them, arms folded within her sleeves and shoulders surrounded by her usual nest of furs. 

"P-p-pregnant?!" stammered Jaken, looking between the two women before his gaze settled onto Lucidity, those large eyes starting to grow a bit too moist. "What glorious news! You must be-" 

"Unhappy," Inukimi interrupted. 

"This matter does not concern you, mother."

Lucidity felt the brush of the mokomoko as Sesshomaru came to stand beside her, but her attention remained on Inukimi. In particular, on the mark beneath her eye, a sliver of a cut that most definitely hadn't been there earlier. She glanced at Sesshomaru, at the blatant anger in his expression, and had a sudden inkling of just how unpleasant the conversation with his mother must have been. 

"She carries the next generation of our family, Sesshomaru," said Inukimi. "As matriarch, the well being of the child  _is_ my concern. Tell me, Lucidity, do you even know what it means to be a mother?" she added. "From our talks in the past, you revealed that you didn't have one to guide you through life." 

Lucidity nearly dug her nails into the wound still healing on her palm. "I've had a few examples," she replied coolly. "The mother I have now uses me. The first one abandoned me. And the third killed me. I believe I have a good idea about what makes a very poor mother."

The bloom of fury that filled Inukimi's face was completely unexpected. Always she had taken these insults in stride, but now she turned a scowl onto Sesshomaru. "This is what you turn your back on your family for? You risk our legacy, the legacies of me and your father, if you put this creature first. She is a fleeting passion, a distraction that I should not have indulged you. Take the child you have sired; she does not want the burden of it. Find yourself a better female, one more suited to the role of a mother, one who will be a proper wife for you. I will not have her here anymore, Sesshomaru. Do you understand me? Her existence is an evil necessity, but she is not welcome in our territory."

No fondness between them. That was what Inukimi had said. It had been irrevocably established long ago. Yet Lucidity had had no idea that the woman's resentment for her ran so deep. She was too stunned to react, to do little more than openly gape at Inukimi, at the anger that distorted her fine features. Somewhere in the background, she could hear Jaken struggling for words, perhaps trying to form a question, but unable to articulate much more than incoherent noises. Eventually, Lucidity managed to shift her attention onto Sesshomaru, whose smoldering gaze was fixed on Inukimi. "What...the hell is going on?" she demanded, her voice a rough whisper.

"My mother is displeased by the choices I have made," he said without sparing her a glance. "It appears that she intends to rectify this, but her attempts will be in vain." 

"You have become an embarrassment, Sesshomaru!" Inukimi exclaimed, taking several steps forward. "You are a pathetic excuse for a daiyoukai, to allow this foreign whore to have such sway over you. If I had known this would be the outcome, I would have ensured that she'd never breathe again after killing her!" 

"Sesshomaru is the only reason I don't do the same to you!" Lucidity shouted with an abrupt surge of rage that startled even her; however, it was not on her own behalf. "Keep talking and I will quickly change my mind about that!" 

"Lucidity," Sesshomaru began, only to be drowned out by the yells of his mother. 

"Wretched bitch! You have destroyed what my son was meant to be! You are no ally. You are the end of our lineage. I should kill you where you stand!" 

Blood was rushing in Lucidity's ears. Her heart pounded an erratic beat. She could not understand what had brought them here. Why did Inukimi suddenly perceive her as such a colossal threat? What in the fucking Seven Hells had Sesshomaru decided that had his mother in such a towering rage?! She was absolutely mad with it! Threatening murder to a woman she believed pregnant?! With her own grandchild no less! And then Lucidity heard the echo of footsteps. Many footsteps. Like ants materializing from the shadows, the silent sentinels appeared, surrounding the group at every turn, weapons at the ready. 

"Do not do this, mother," said Sesshomaru, and yet he wasn't pleading. He was warning. 

"Do what? Vanquish your beloved Guardian?" said Inukimi. And the smile, however slight, that crossed her lips immediately had the hairs on the back of Lucidity's neck standing on end. "Perhaps I should bide my time and wait for the inevitable arrival of the Princes of Death." 

"The Princes are pure destruction," said Sesshomaru. "They will slaughter everyone." 

"She doesn't care about everyone," muttered Lucidity. "Only herself....”

And Sesshomaru. 

The puzzle was a chaotic one, but the pieces were falling into place nonetheless as Inukimi's smile broadened, a glint of fang showing behind painted lips, and Lucidity felt a stone drop into the pit of her stomach. Inukimi should have known she would never succeed in defeating a Guardian, and yet here she was, tempting death, both with Lucidity and her own son. Whatever child Lucidity may carry, whatever Inukimi had said about keeping her alive to maintain the balance and Sesshomaru's happiness, Inukimi really would let the world turn to ash if it meant he would live. Her son was what she cared about. It wasn't Lucidity who was the threat because she was the reason he was choosing to separate himself from the family. It was the Princes who hunted her, and Inukimi feared for the proud and stubborn daiyoukai who would never back down from a fight, even if it meant his demise. 

"Ah...shit," Lucidity whispered, just as Inukimi raised an arm and pointed a sharp, clawed finger at them. 

And her soldiers charged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! My favorite ^.^
> 
> *sigh* And here the evening had started out so pleasantly.


	24. Chapter 24

There were certain emotions that did not belong in battle, and the shock that gripped Lucidity was most definitely among them.

There wasn't time to process things like fear or denial when someone was hell bent on killing you, lest you wished to make a fatal mistake. And there were many someones right now, too many to be counted, who poured out of the darkness in an endless flow of brute force. And though she was reluctant, she reacted, and struck down the soldiers who came at her. These men were supposed to be on their side. Inukimi was supposed to be on their side. How was it that the world had turned itself upside down again? Like a bad acid trip where white rabbits wore vests and carried pocket watches, she couldn't make sense of why this was happening. She fought on pure instinct, cutting through those who attacked, and could hear the screams of so many dying. Not only by her hand, but by those who fell by Bakusaiga or were burned to a cinder by the Staff. 

And in this ever-rising sea of blood, Inukimi stood, a cold and beautiful statue, bearing witness to the carnage created on her orders. She was so impassive with her folded arms, bored in a way, as though waiting for a path to be cleared or news to be delivered so that she might take action. She never moved, never spoke, as her eyes roamed over the dead and the dying, over the imp who reduced his opponents to ash, to the dragon that tossed its heads, ignored in the background, to the son she so coveted, slicing her men into pieces that disintegrated upon contact with his sword. 

These were the glimpses that Lucidity caught of Inukimi through the youkai who pressed around her. How many soldiers lived in the palace? How many more did Inukimi have at her disposal? Did she mean to win by sheer numbers alone? And yet she had said so, herself, that they could not defeat the Guardian. What, then, was her goal? So many questions, so much doubt, but Lucidity did not have the luxury of dwelling on the unfathomable. She had to react, not think, had to respond to the rush of blades coming at her without losing focus, without losing her temper. 

Sesshomaru's voice rose from the swell of chaos, nearly drowned out by the cacophony of battle, to the point that Lucidity almost couldn't hear what he was saying. Words were lost here and there as she kept her attention on the bloody task at hand. But even when she drove the blade of the manifested sword through the chest of yet another youkai, she was able to understand that he was telling his mother to stop this, to call back her men. Again, he was warning Inukimi, giving her one last chance, because he, like Lucidity, was showing restraint. 

And so, it seemed, was Inukimi. Whether she gave a signal or spoke a command, Lucidity couldn't see, but the blowguns that appeared without warning were like so many lanterns being lit. Small shafts of wood were brought to the mouths of the soldiers, and then the air was suddenly alive with the whistling of darts speeding toward their targets. Lucidity brought an arm up, shielding her face and head as much as possible, and the darts bounced harmlessly off the material that had been woven so long ago by Satomi. Yet it still did not stop a few stray darts from slipping past, lodging into a line of exposed neck or in the back of an ankle when the robes fluttered around her feet, and she felt the searing burn of poison, before quickly losing the tempo of her body's movement. More whistling of darts, more blades, the possible glow of the Whip out of the corner of her eye, cries of alarm from Jaken....

And movement from Inukimi.

The silver of Inukimi's hair sweeping through her men caught Lucidity's attention. She was striding with a strict purpose, never straying from her goal, that of her son, surrounded by soldiers. Far more soldiers than there were surrounding Lucidity. So many blowguns finding their mark, regardless of the Whip that encircled him. Jaken was laying flat on the ground at his lord's feet, covering his head with the Staff beside him. The soldiers paid him no mind, unlike Lucidity, who was being forced back by the ceaseless jabbing and slicing of swords as she tried to rid herself of the darts, tried to ignore the pain of the poison. It was...an inconvenience. She could do more...so much more. These soldiers were forcing her farther away and she was indulging them. Killing them, yes, but also indulging.

And Lucidity had reached her limit. All these games, all these plots, and questions, so many questions, without answers. She wanted to know why these soldiers were so keen to give their lives, wanted to know what Inukimi was planning, why she was making her way towards Sesshomaru. Even if she would never kill him, Lucidity feared the outcome. And that fear had her taking to the air, had her tearing out the poisoned darts, and finally ripping the oxygen from those down below. Dozens upon dozens of soldiers stumbled into one another, dropping blowguns, swords, collapsing to their knees. A great mass of obstacles was removed in an instant. So many bodies writhing on the ground like fish flopping in nets.

Not all fell; Lucidity would not dare risk the area around Sesshomaru and Jaken. But enough soldiers did succumb. Enough that Inukimi was exposed, that she turned when those nearby began to drop. And Lucidity saw that she held something between her hands, small enough that her fur and the sleeves of her kimono had hidden it. The object confused Lucidity at first. For a split second, she didn't understand, but only a second and not a second too late as Inukimi spun around and made a dash towards Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru...who was down on one knee, sword in hand, visibly panting, and surrounded by soldiers who were closing in, and...yet staying their hands as they awaited their mistress.

An explosion of power shattered the stretch of stone between mother and son. Shards of rubble sprayed in every direction, as did everyone close enough to the blast; not even Jaken was spared, and the unfortunate imp was sending sailing through the air, hat, Staff, and all. Youkai and daiyoukai alike were picking themselves up off the ground. Lucidity drifted above, having thrown the sword as though it were a bolt of lightning, and peered around at those who were unconscious, possible still capable of fighting. She tried...tried so hard sometimes not to kill if it wasn't necessary. Injure. Incapacitate. Youkai and human. It made no difference. But as she saw Inukimi begin to gather herself, the mere idea of restraint had the Guardian's power surging to the surface, scorching through her veins and burning through the poison, before she unleashed it onto the mortals below, her sights on Inukimi.

The soldiers in its path...there was nothing left. The ones who lived cried out and scattered as the energy hit the ground and continued through the land, straight to the heart of the floating castle in the sky. Stone cracked. The earth crumbled. Bodies disappeared into crevices spider-webbing through the surface. The red throne splintered and collapsed into the expanding hole. Buildings began to tremble, pillars breaking, walls falling, and the screams of servants and soldiers alike filled the night. Innocent or guilty. The face of war made no judgments.

Amidst the madness, some managed to escape. Lucidity made no attempt to stop anyone. She spotted Jaken among them, on the back of Ah-Un, covered in dirt, Staff in hand, clothes frayed and hat askew, but otherwise unharmed. Sesshomaru, too, rose from the dust, sweat visible upon his brow, his eyes sweeping over the annihilation of his childhood home, perhaps searching-as Lucidity was-for any sign of Inukimi, wondering if she had escaped the blast. But then, as the roar of destruction came to a thunderous end, he descended. Jaken followed and, after a moment, so did Lucidity.

The palace was gone.

The land that held it was gone.

And its mistress lay bleeding and unconscious-maybe even dead-in the rubble of remains that had crashed to the earth. Splashes of crimson painted her face and hair and fur. Her kimono was tattered, but the Meido Stone around her neck was unharmed, as was the urn that rested beside her, a handle caught by the fingers of her limp hand.

Sesshomaru approached the still form of his mother, while Lucidity waited beside Jaken, the two of them as quiet as the other bodies spotted in the rocks and stone. There was so much blood, and an abundance of...pieces. Not all the corpses were whole or even recognizable beyond red blotches in the grass and soil. Whether it was the long fall or the Guardian's power, Lucidity wasn't certain. In the end, it didn't matter. Dead was dead. And as Sesshomaru crouched to take the urn, Lucidity made her way over to him. She was silent at his side as he looked over the urn, then flicked his gaze to her, that heavy, stoic gaze, which understood the implications of what he held.

A groan slipped from Inukimi as, all at once, the lady youkai sat up, as if she had done nothing more than fallen out of a chair. Bits of rock and debris drifted off her person like so much snow as she turned her head to slowly take in the consequences of her actions, sparing more than furtive glances at the ones who had paid the ultimate price for loyalty. And then she lifted her eyes to Sesshomaru, and him only.

"Why have you done this, Inukimi?" spoke the youkai lord. "Why did you seek to imprison me?"

Lucidity could not be certain about what was going through Sesshomaru's mind, how he felt about this...betrayal. Yet she was certain about the solemn wisp that was Inukimi's smile, the flash of regret in her face before she lowered her head, a quiet acceptance that she had lost.

"Would that you could understand," was all she said.

"Do not assume what is beyond my comprehension. Tell me what you hoped to gain by entrapping me."

"Gain?" Inukimi echoed with that same, sad smile. "There is nothing to gain; I wish to preserve. Ah, Sesshomaru, my son, if only you knew your poor, old mother's heart-"

"You have no heart," was the cold reply, and Inukimi closed her eyes.

Lucidity loathed to admit it, but she felt the slightest twinge of pity for her mother-in-law. A pity that was soon cast aside when she noticed the sweat rolling down Sesshomaru's temple, saw his balance waver when his eyes fell shut, and realized the poison of the darts was still taking its toll on him. He recovered himself quickly, however, and glowered down at Inukimi.

"Answer me, mother," he ordered.

"I will not," she said. "An explanation will bring no change to the outcome. Do what needs to be done, Sesshomaru."

Lucidity almost stopped him. Almost. This, however, was not her decision and she even went so far as to move back a few paces, to give him space both literally and figuratively. Whatever he decided, she could only hope he didn't regret it. She recalled what Inukimi had asked her, if she believed that Sesshomaru would refrain from harming his own mother. And Lucidity had doubted it was a line he would not cross, if certain circumstances were met. So, as she stood there watching him deliberate, he and his mother staring at one another for so long it seemed, she had no idea what was about to happen.

And it was not so much a breath of relief that she exhaled as it was a sound of exhaustion when he removed the lid of the urn. His mother smiled at him one last time, with a rather enigmatic expression on her face, before bowing her head again as her form coalesced into a luminous light. Swiftly, the energy was ensnared by the urn, flowing into the darkness of its depths, as though it were a black hole that nothing could survive. And as the last of the energy disappeared, Sesshomaru sealed the urn and promptly shoved it into Lucidity's hands. She grabbed it by the handles automatically, blinking at him in surprise, but he was already walking away, his stride quick and impatient. She began to follow, but nearly gave a start when he called out unexpectedly, "Disband! I have no need of you!" 

Lucidity paused, long enough to peer around and spot movement in the trees and around the rubble; the surviving soldiers hadn't fled. And from the way they glanced at one another, before turning to leave in the opposite direction, she realized that they had been awaiting Sesshomaru's orders. They were his to command now that his mother had been removed from the equation. Not so much loyalty, then, as it was blind service; Lucidity wouldn't have wanted such soldiers, even if she'd had the need.

Still carrying the urn, she hurried to catch up with Sesshomaru and Jaken, the latter of whom was riding Ah-Un and dabbing a tentative hand around his face to check for injuries. She glanced at the daiyoukai, whose foul mood she probably could have tasted right then if she'd dared to kiss him. Instead, she settled for peering down at the urn, at the characters inscribed on it that she hadn't completely understood the first time she'd seen this thing. She saw, now, in the writing that only someone who shared blood would be able to free the one inside, and suddenly remembered how Sesshomaru had opened it with the hand he had cut; another lifetime ago, it felt like.

"Why did Inukimi even have this?" she wondered aloud.

Without warning, the daiyoukai stopped, and so did Lucidity and the others. "She would want to study the sorcery behind an object powerful enough to imprison us," he said, his gaze on the blanket of stars above them. "Lucidity, give the urn to Jaken; I want it taken to the Isle."

An audible groan could be heard from the imp. "Sesshomaru-sama, if I might rest-"

"Go, Jaken."

"We can at least give him until morning," Lucidity offered, but a hard look from the daiyoukai silenced all further protests. She sighed as he set off and peered over at the imp, who appeared absolutely miserable when she passed him the urn. "Do you still have some of my hair?" she asked, and he nodded. "And Ah-Un will be able to track us when you're done?" Again, he nodded. "Why don't you rest on the Isle? Sesshomaru will need some time to recover from whatever he was poisoned with-"

"Dokkaso," said Jaken. "It was his mother's dokkaso in the darts; a new weapon she'd had created."

That would explain why it was having such a strong effect on Sesshomaru, but another concern stirred in the pit of her stomach. "Were you hit?" she asked, but Jaken shook his head and she let out a soft breath. "All right. Well, you should still get some sleep. Any food or medicine you need, just let Rusuban know."

"Thank you, my Lady."

"Safe travels, Jaken."

And they went their separate ways, Jaken flying off on Ah-Un to search for a body of water and Lucidity rushing after Sesshomaru's trail until she caught up with him for a second time. He was further ahead than she would have imagined, given his condition, his form cutting a solitary path through an empty meadow, the long grass dancing in the wind that tossed his hair and fur. There was no warm welcome, not even a glance, when she fell into step beside him. His pace remained steady and determined, and she said nothing just yet, but laced her arm through his.

"Release me, woman," he said at once.

Startled, she looked up at him, taking in the tension around his eyes and mouth, then did as he wanted, even taking a step or two away. "I...honestly can't believe Inukimi went so far," she muttered. 

"She is fortunate I did not kill her."

"There is something to be said about that. She believed you would-"

"I do not wish to discuss it," he interrupted.

And that was that. Lucidity dropped the matter and didn't speak another word, nor make an attempt to reach out. She could appreciate his anger and his need to be left alone; and yet she wondered if he was upset with her, Lucidity, for what she had done. Should she not have allowed her temper to get the better of her? Perhaps that was why he ventured so far from the site of his mother's fallen palace, for he continued his trek across the land long after Lucidity began to doubt that he could make it even another mile. But he did. One mile, then two, and three and so on. The moon made its way slowly through the sky, and the daiyoukai pressed on, until the meadow gave way to forest and the terrain beneath their feet consisted of rocks and roots, rather than grass and flowers.

All the while, Lucidity cast Sesshomaru furtive glances, and the pallor of his skin did not go unnoticed, nor did the constant sweat beading along his skin. Yet he never paused in his stride, not until they were deep in the forest, with nothing but insects and nocturnal creatures prowling through the brush, when he laid his hand against a tree he was attempting to skirt around and abruptly came to a stop. And Lucidity, who was a few paces ahead, turned to peer back, to see his eyes falling shut in an obvious, if not subtle struggle to control his breathing.

With a sigh, she walked back, coming to stand in front of him. "Maybe we should stop for the night," she suggested, which only had him opening his eyes with a frown. "You've been poisoned."

"As have you," he replied, taking his hand from the tree and straightening.

She shrugged. "Yes and no. My body eradicated the dokkaso before the palace fell." He blinked, a brief sign of surprise, before his expression cleared and he brushed past her. She caught him just above the elbow. "Don't," she said. "Let's just stop. I'd like it if we could just-"

"Let go," commanded the daiyoukai without looking at her.

"Sesshomaru-"

"Now, Lucidity."

"Just wait a-"

"I said 'release me!'" he snapped and, yanking himself free, shoved her away.

Whether it was because she hadn't expected such an explosive and unexpected reaction, or simply because her foot caught on a root, she didn't know. But all the same, Lucidity found herself sprawled on the ground with an irritated daiyoukai standing over her, looking, perhaps, a little taken aback by his own actions. And she couldn't help but lay there for a moment, rather startled herself.

"Really?" she grumbled, easing herself onto her hands and frowning up at Sesshomaru. "You believe wholeheartedly that I'm pregnant and you push me? After your mother poisoned us no less?"

Sesshomaru scowled. "Quiet, woman," he said, extending a hand that she merely glared at, to which he added, "Is it your wish to stay in the dirt?"

She gave a soft snort and took his hand, only to yank him down so hard that he landed in a heap beside her, an undignified snarl on his lips. In a confusion of tangled hair and fur, she felt fingers close around her arm and, when she resisted, he jerked her toward him. She pushed him right back until the two of them were tussling and rolling, but there was no real bite to their little spat. Weak as he was, it didn’t take long for Lucidity to gain the upper hand and pin the daiyoukai to the forest floor with a leg on either side of him.

"I'm in no mood for your games, woman," he growled.

"You're the one who knocked me down first,” she said, hands braced upon his chest. 

"That was not my intention-"

"Shut up, Sesshomaru."

There was no vehement in her voice, merely exasperation, but he fell silent regardless, a hard crease to his mouth, which did not soften even when she reached out and slid her hands along his cheeks. He was unyielding when she bore down on him and pressed her lips to his, but only at first. Like wax melting under the flame of a candle, he relaxed beneath her and she felt the touch of his tongue, both suggestive and inviting, as his hands rose to clutch lightly at her arms, as if he wanted to ensure she stayed right where she was. However, when she felt his fang against her bottom lip, she drew back, but placed a brief kiss to his chin.

"I'm sorry about your mother," she murmured, and immediately felt the muscles of his jaw flex beneath her fingers.

And then his grip tightened as he sat up, glowering at her through the strands of silver bangs. "I've already told you, woman, that I have no desire to discuss her." 

"I know," said Lucidity. "Believe me, I understand having a disappointment for a mother, but-" 

"Being abandoned as an infant does not lead to a complex understanding of betrayal," interrupted the daiyoukai, and she felt her eyes widen in surprise. "Do not presume to know my thoughts, Lucidity; I tire of reminding you. Now get off of me." 

She opened her mouth, wanting to say something-quite a lot, in fact-but she was too dumbstruck to make so much as a sound. Her mind was reeling, trying to focus; and yet his words were such a harsh reminder of his response when she had told him it was better to expect disappointment. Of course, he didn't know why it upset her; she'd never told him and was doubtful it would even make a difference if she did. 

"Move, woman!" he snapped, and went so far as to grab her by the shoulders and force her back so that he might stand. 

That was all she needed to feel that spark of rage. In a quick movement, she brought her hands up between his arms and broke his grip before shoving him back down, surging forward until she straddled him once more, fingers digging into his arms. "Asshole!" she hissed, face looming above his. "Stop taking that bad mood of yours out on me! I'm sorry about what your mother did. I really am. You said she was someone you trusted, and she broke that trust. Whether you are close to her or not, that is not something that is easy to recover from." 

"Enough!" the daiyoukai snapped. "Those are hollow insights, Lucidity, that hold nothing of worth. And unless you wish to see true anger, you will drop the matter and release me. Now!" 

She dug her fingers into him, until he bared his fangs in a rising snarl, and she let go, leaning back. It wasn't until he had pushed himself upright that she became aware of how heavy her breathing was or the flush of fury that heated her skin. The thought of tearing off her robes and disappearing beneath the surface of a cold lake was suddenly quite appealing, but it was a ludicrous idea. Irrational, even. And it would do nothing to resolve this latest argument of theirs. She didn't want to stay quiet, but could think of nothing to say that wouldn't lead to more fighting. But maybe silence was best for now. After everything that had happened, the whirlwind of news and denial and betrayal, perhaps they should let it be, give themselves time to recover. Sesshomaru's body was still laced with poison. He needed to rest, and she needed to think.

"You are trying my patience," Sesshomaru growled. "You boast understanding, and yet show no gratitude that I took my own mother prisoner for you."

It was immediate, this sensation, as though she'd been punched in the gut. Her frame sagged and she found herself pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, eyes screwed shut, before she finally rose to her feet and stepped back, watching in silence as the daiyoukai did the same. The two of them stood there, staring at one another for the space of a heartbeat-or several-before he turned and began to striding away.

"I did keep silent," said Lucidity, "until you lashed out when I suggested we stop."

He kept walking, and she had to swallow around her heartbeat.

"I was trying to tell you that I don't fault you for your anger, that I really do understand it," she continued. "I just wanted you to stop taking it out on me. That's really all I was trying to say! .... All right? Sesshomaru? I'm sorry I brought up Inukimi, okay? I'm sorry about destroying the home you grew up in if that's what you're upset about!"

She was feeling stupid and desperate at this point. To make it worse, there was no response, only that familiar silhouette moving further and further away, the mokomoko swaying behind him. And it felt as if a great gulf was swelling between them when his voice echoed through the air, reaching her ears in its cold perfection.

"You know nothing, Lucidity."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, Sesshy, you never want to talk about your problems. 
> 
> Couples therapy with these two would be hilarious, especially if Kagome was behind it XD! Putting them in a locked and warded room and refusing to let them out until they hash out their problems. And lots and lots of sex will, sadly, not count. 
> 
> I have to say, though, that I have quite a few, perhaps more, steamy ideas that I want to try out before the end of this story. Of course, I don't want the story to dissolve into a series of sex scenes...tempting though that might be! So, I will probably have to eliminate some. :(


	25. Chapter 25

No more tears. 

Honest to gods, she was so beyond sick of crying. It seemed that whenever life took a sharp turn, she found herself in tears at every bend; which was why she was so relieved, even a bit surprised, that she'd managed to keep her eyes dry this time. Not that she didn't come close to breaking down. For a long while, it felt as if the wrong thought would spiral her out of control, and the taste of saltwater constantly lingered in the back of her throat. Sesshomaru hadn't come back, and she hadn't gone after him. Instead, she had found a spot of dry moss beneath a tree and stretched out beneath its canopy of leaves. Too much had happened in such a short amount of time. Too much to mull over, to the point where her brain felt like a wrung sponge that couldn't absorb any more information, no matter how desperately she tried to make sense of everything. She still felt the fool for calling out after Sesshomaru, stumbling over apologies she wasn't certain she owed him, and, in a way, pleading with him not to leave. It made her cringe with embarrassment whenever the memory crossed her mind, and she tried to focus on the more important matters, thinking, perhaps, that she had missed something crucial. But what?

In the end, the memories of the last few hours were more like a dream to her than anything else. The time spent with Sesshomaru in that room could not have been real, right? Just wishful longing on her part, a sense of desolation perhaps? Considering how he'd come to her, spouting those things she still didn't understand about his wanting the woman, about wanting her submission, the theory wasn't absurd. And meeting with Inukimi, being told she was pregnant, and then Inukimi's rage, her betrayal and imprisonment, was more nightmare than dream, yes? How could any of that happen with she and Sesshomaru still being in one piece by the end of it? And yet...that wasn't entirely true, was it? They were not a single piece, but two who had been separated. He'd left and she hadn't followed.

How was it that everything could fall apart before she even realized something was wrong? And what was she going to do now?

Lucidity bit back a groan. Of course, the most practical course of action would be to put personal matters onto a back burner and resume her travels to the coastline, along with her search for the Princes. It wouldn't be difficult to feel for remnants of energy from the Netherworld while simultaneously taking care of a youkai problem. Yet, laying here with an arm thrown across her eyes, she didn't want to be practical. Not for the first time, she didn't want to have the inconvenience of responsibilities. Those stolen moments with Sesshomaru were what she wanted, for some small part of her life to make sense again. Was it possible, though? Staring into the darkness that was the crook of her elbow, her other hand came to over her stomach, which fluttered and knotted all at once, giving her the ghostly sense of being nauseous. If she was to believe a woman who ultimately wanted her dead, then the life she had not yet even adjusted to would never be the same again.

Gods, everything was spinning away from her! Her thoughts were churning so fast she could barely pick one from the other. If only she had one of her journals to write down everything. But the damn thing was in a satchel attached to Ah-Un's saddle. Maybe if there was someone to speak with about all this, such as Sango or Kagome, she could organize that fractured piece of crap she called a "mind" and think straight for a little while. Just a little while. Her friends might see something she couldn't, give advice that she hadn't considered. An outsider's perspective could sometimes be beneficial. Oberon had stated just the same about her back on Avalon, about having fresh eyes and all. Kagome or Sango could provide that. But hell! If Lucidity was being completely honest with herself, it wasn't her friends she wanted to talk to. It was her father. 

A dull reminder of that familiar pain echoed at the thought of him; it had become as much a part of her as her own skin, an aspect she had come to live with, as she would everything else, if given time. She wasn't ashamed to admit that he was the one she went to for advice. He was the one with experience, the one who always had her best interest at heart, even if he hadn't always liked some idea or other. He was the reason she had ultimately gone through with the decision to come to this country. When she'd told him about the teaching program here she'd learned through the university, he'd encouraged her to apply, went on about it being a great experience, a wonderful opportunity, but that she obviously didn't love him anymore because she wanted to move a million miles away and he'd miss her too much. 

Lucidity couldn't stop herself from grinning at the memory. Losing him might have spurred her into action to take the post and she might have been prompted by the need to escape from her home country for a time, but his encouragement was the defining factor that helped her make the choice. What would he say about her life now? She wondered how that conversation would go.

_Hey, Pops! Turns out you're not my biological father. I was actually sired by the Mother Goddess. Can you believe it? Really powerful now. Totally worth the trip here. But I did just get my sister killed-Guardian of the North, I should say-because I imprisoned this completely awful asshole, who wanted to force me to have his kids, and his brothers didn't like that I locked him away. I am actually knocked up, though, by a daemon I married, or so his mother claims. And that was before she attacked us and tried to trap her son in a magical urn. She would rather see him in a jar than with me. Talk about monster-in-law!_

Lucidity bit down on her lip, nearly laughing aloud at the rushed and absurd dialogue. Gods, but she really could picture her father's face, utterly gobsmacked and gaping at her, just waiting for the punchline. He would think her crazy, no doubt, at least until she provided proof. Who wouldn't? But the fact remained that he would believe her, would support her in the end, and would be...ecstatic at the thought of a grandchild. She wished desperately that he was here, that he would tell her what to do, that he would make it all easier for her. Dammit to hell! She wished she could save him! 

With a groan, she rolled onto her side, hands covering her face. No, no, no! No more crying! She cursed aloud to herself and pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes so hard that spots danced across her vision. 

And then the ground beneath her shook as something crashed in the forest.

Lucidity bolted upright, fingers digging into the moss, and peered into the darkened trees. A moment later, however, the woods were not so darkened, but alight with fire. She stared at the rising flames, bewildered and fascinated, by the odd cast of blue and white. The heat had not yet reached this area and she sat, transfixed, and listened to the crackling, watching the fire eat away at the tops of trees in the near distance. Another crash, closer than the last, had branches creaking and teeth rattling, before she heard the reverberation through the air, a deafening roar that was strangely familiar. The fire was spreading further. Trees were starting to sway as something very large and very strong stumbled through them, even trampling and knocking down what stood in its way. There was another roar, another blast of white-blue fire, and a figure leapt over her. 

Sesshomaru landed between Lucidity and the dragon from earlier, which came bounding through the trees, bringing several to the ground under its clawed feet. Its massive head was swiveling around, the long neck twisting, and jaws snapping again and again at the many creatures scurrying across its back like grotesque fleas. The dragon shook out its body, not unlike a dog after a bath, and dislodged several of the tiny figures, who cried out in high voices, getting back up if they were able, and charged forward in another wave of attack. And the dragon bit and clawed and burned at any it could reach, even shaking one from its head and sending the creature flying through the air, only to closed its mouth over the small form and swallow it whole. 

There was no movement from Sesshomaru that indicated he would bother himself with the fight, and Lucidity stood, to join him in witnessing such an unusual and unexpected show. Closer now, she could see tiny spears in the hands of whatever was attacking the dragon. And when one of the creatures came rolling across the ground after being bucked off the beast, flopping to a stop just a handful of feet in front of them, she was able to finally get a good look at what they were. 

She knew better than to assume that they were little men. But at first glance, that was what she seemed to be looking at. The thing was squat and bow-legged, about the same size as Jaken, with a bald head no less. And yet it was covered in a thick pelt of matted, greasy fur that seemed to cough up grime and hair whenever it moved. It scratched at its shiny head with long, thin fingers tapered with claws, only to pause as it finally took notice of the two pairs of feet in front of it. The creature tilted its head back, mouth open and full of sharp teeth that gnashed at her and Sesshomaru. 

The hyosube was a revolting thing to look at and, worse yet, to smell, as if it had burrowed into the excrement of every animal imaginable. Pitying Sesshomaru with that sensitive nose of his, Lucidity had to cover her own and take a step back. The hyosube cackled at this, scrambling to its feet, while the dragon continued to roar and snap its frustration in the background. But then Sesshomaru moved forward and the hyosube hopped toward him, letting out a screech of unintelligible noise, arms raised and claws poised, having no spear to threaten him with. It lifted its gaze, still making that awful sound, and immediately froze, arms stretched above its ugly head, mouthing hanging open to reveal every last tooth, each one looking to be decaying within the gums. 

"Why does it recognize you?" Lucidity asked as the Whip of Light snapped at the hyosube, sending it scurrying back to its brothers, shouting words in that high, shrill voice that she couldn't understand. Whatever was said, however, had the rest of the creatures spilling off the dragon, somehow reminding her of meat falling off of bone, and fleeing into the parts of the forest that were fire-free.

"My resemblance to my mother, no doubt," answered Sesshomaru. "She is known to most youkai of the area." 

The fire was creeping closer. Lucidity could feel the heat, now, of the flames that had dwindled to the common, boring shades of yellow and orange, with that deep blue in the center. There were no signs of other youkai, only the dragon using teeth and claws to dislodge numerous spears embedded beneath its scales, various spots of fresh blood decorating its body, as it ignored the spreading blaze. What was the beast doing here? Had it followed them? Hell, _why_ would it follow them? Her gaze darted to the useless wings folded against its body and could see areas where the membranes had begun to heal. Inukimi had inflicted those injuries. Why would the dragon dare approach another inu daiyoukai after that? 

"Let's go," Sesshomaru declared suddenly, having already turned to leave the forest. 

"What about the fire?" she asked. 

"Let it burn." 

Lucidity...saw little reason to argue. Fires, after all, were necessary sometimes to clear out old rot from forest floors, dead vegetation, and so on; a natural occurrence, even if this one had a not-so-natural origin. She cast a final look at the devastating scene with the great dragon silhouetted against the vibrant glow of the flames, then set off after Sesshomaru. However, she had gone no more than a couple dozen paces when she heard lumbering footsteps behind her. Stopping, she peered back at the dragon walking towards her, its head shifting back and forth slightly, as if it was assessing her as it had done when their paths first crossed. Curious, she walked a bit farther, and so did the dragon. She stopped, and so did the dragon; but this time, it lowered its head to her level, that same, reverberating sound rumbling between them. Was that...a dragon's purr? It moved closer, and, unable to help herself, she reached out a tentative hand. 

"Lucidity!" 

Drawing back, she turned around to see that Sesshomaru hadn't left, but was standing a short distance away, in a patch of trees not yet claimed by the fire. He said nothing more, merely frowned at her with a sense of disapproval at her indifference to the surrounding smoke and potential danger. And then he turned a sharp heel and disappeared into the darkness. With a sigh, Lucidity followed. 

And so did the dragon. 

* * *

"You have such bad luck with spears." 

The last of the thin bodies of wood was ripped out of that glimmering, white hide by Lucidity's hand as she spoke and tossed aside with the others she'd removed. Laying on its stomach, the dragon gave a shudder of pain, along with a raspy noise of complaint, before it settled once more, its head resting on a front leg. Lucidity ran her hand over the scales as she did one final inspection to ensure none of the spears had been missed. Why those youkai had attacked, she could only speculate that perhaps the dragon had trespassed their land by accident or, maybe, the dragon had been hunting for a meal and did not expect such a retaliation. Coming to a stop at the beast's head, she peered down at a single, gold eye that was fixed her. There seemed to be open trust in that gaze, which she could not understand the reason for, just as she could not understand other issues that had arisen this night.

Trying not to sigh, she looked over at the daiyoukai, who stood apart from her and the dragon at the edge of the low mountain they had claimed for the night. He had not said a word, nor budged from that spot, since they had stopped, however long ago that was now. Instead, he had opted to stare at the forest fire that was steadily spreading across the land. There were so many miles between them and the blaze, now, that it appeared little more than a collection of lights that could have been mistaken for a grand village, if not for the acrid scent of smoke that was barely detectable, at least by Lucidity; she could only imagine how strong and unappealing it was for Sesshomaru.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" she called out.

He spared her a glance over his shoulder, but then looked away without answering.

This time, Lucidity did sigh, and felt a sudden nudge against her leg. The dragon had eased its head against her. She stared at it, blinking, then slowly lowered a hand to its snout, only for the dragon to lift its head entirely and nuzzle into her body. She nearly stumbled, but caught herself on one of those swooping horns, her other arm automatically wrapping around the snout, and gaped down at the beast. That low, reverberating purr echoed between them and a smile split her face before she could stop it. The time...did not feel appropriate for smiling, and she found herself hiding her lips behind a hand, even as she bent slightly to stroke the dragon with unexpected delight.

"Why has this creature pursued us?"

She lifted her head at the question, to see that Sesshomaru had abandoned his post at the mountain edge and was making his way over. "I don't know," she admitted. "Seems to like me, though." He came to a stop beside her, gazing down at the dragon, that appeared to be watching the both of them; and yet it nudged at Lucidity again, apparently wanting her full attention, and she smiled once more, running a hand along that scaly chin.

"Send it away."

Her smile disappeared. "Why?" she asked. "It's not trying to hurt us."

"We have no use for it," he replied. "Send it away."

"But-"

"Now, Lucidity," he said, and was already walking off, as if that settled the matter.

Lucidity swallowed, feeling herself tremble, a hand fisting at her side. She peered down at the dragon, at that one gold eye gazing at her, and her heart sank. Much to her chagrin, this was far more difficult than it should have been. Shaking her head, she looked back at the daiyoukai steadily traipsing the rocky path ahead.

"Good gods," she muttered, caressing the dragon. "I love you, Sesshomaru, but you can be such a fucking prick sometimes."

He stopped, but did not look back. "If you are so adamant about keeping the beast, then do so, but I will not rise to your bait, woman."

And that was all he said before setting off again, leaving Lucidity to groan and run a hand over her face. She had no response, no idea what to do, as if the world was splitting into so many paths that the overwhelming number of options left her completely clueless as to what decision to make next. And at such an utter loss, she could think of nothing else but to trail after the damn daiyoukai. It wasn't long before she heard the dragon's footsteps behind her.

She wondered at the hour as their travels resumed. A glance at the stars in the near cloudless sky revealed that the night was fully mature, and dawn remained hours away, especially if one considered the autumn season; the sun was rising later in these waning months. And if it was nearly mid-autumn now, then...would the baby not be due in the spring? If she truly was pregnant, that is. What other proof did she need? Salamander blood turning blue and an increase in sleep were not enough. Perhaps nothing else would suffice until her belly started to expand.

And what of the Princes? How vulnerable would she be if they confronted her when she was round and heavy and sick with fear over an unborn baby? Would she even be able to fight in such a condition, afraid or not? She shouldn't even search for the Princes if she was pregnant! It would be easier, so much easier, if she wasn't. No matter how badly she wanted it to be true, it would be safer, for everyone, if she wasn't carrying a child.

A movement up ahead caught her attention, and she looked over to see that Sesshomaru had reached a small stream, which cut a path through mountainous terrain that was slowly becoming infested with vegetation. Grass was pushing itself up between the endless sea of rocks and boulders, but there was nothing larger than the occasional bush. Lucidity's gaze swept the area, but she saw little beyond outcrops ahead and a towering bedrock that marked the passage of time in various sedimentary layers, as if part of the mountain had collapsed at some point in the past to create the rough ground below. No trees. No animals. Save one. 

The dragon's approach from behind put an end to the halfhearted search. A moment later, a shimmer of white scales obscured most of her visual of the area as the creature invaded her line of sight, meandering away from her and Sesshomaru to stretch itself out upon the ground, curled up against the side of the bedrock. The sight reminded her vaguely of a dog laying in the curve of its master's legs. 

But, again, movement from the daiyoukai distracted Lucidity as he lowered himself onto a knee and dipped a hand into the stream, then brought the feeble amount of water to his lips. The way he held himself upright on his other hand while he drank gave her pause, seeing how his claws dug into the hard earth. And when she moved closer, she could make out the subtle glisten of sweat that lingered along his forehead.

"Maybe we should stop for the night," she said.

"I do not require coddling, woman," he said before taking another drink.

"I'm aware," said Lucidity. "But you are not the only one who is injured."

Sesshomaru straightened, water dripping from his hand, and frowned at her. "The only blood on you is that of my mother's guards." 

She shook her head. "I meant the dragon; it needs time to recover." And when she saw his lip start to curl, she added, "Either way, I'm staying here. I've had my fill of traveling." 

There was no response. Apart from a faint scoff, the daiyoukai did nothing but stalk his way across the stream, separating himself from her and the dragon. For a moment, it appeared as if he might continue on without her, until he paused beside one of the larger boulders and settled himself in front of it. She watched as he went through the familiar motions of situating the mokomoko so that he might rest in the bundle of fur, along with shifting his swords so that he was not encumbered. And when he closed his eyes and eased his head back, her shoulders heaved with the smallest of sighs. At times, he could be predictable. Considering he had not gone far after their earlier spat, close enough that his return had been relatively swift when potential danger presented itself, she did not believe he had any intention of leaving her behind. She wondered if he had slept at all during those handful of hours apart. Well, he would now, just as she'd hoped would happen. Of course, she wouldn't be surprised if he knew exactly what she was up to. Regardless, he really must have been exhausted, given his lack of argument. 

How many darts had struck him anyway? 

Curious, she approached, her step light so as not to disturb the daiyoukai. On any other day, it might have been easier to ask. Yet with the mood he was in, he would probably be as forthcoming as a riddling faerie, if not a tad more volatile. And, sure enough, the moment she was within a few yards of him, his eyes slid open and fixed on her. There was nothing warm and welcoming in his expression. 

"What do you want, woman?" 

She could already make out the pinprick of numerous holes shadowed in the folds of his pale clothing. More than a couple dozen along the haori and the same, if not even more, in the hakama. And that was only what she could see from the front. Absently, she curled the fingers of one hand and touched the hem of the sleeve that hung along her palm, the same sleeve that had prevented most of the darts from hitting their mark. Perhaps...it was possible to keep the same from happening to Sesshomaru again.

Shaking her head, she took a step back. "Nothing," she said. 

"Then I wish to be left alone," replied the daiyoukai, his eyes falling shut.

"For how long?" she muttered as she raked a hand through her hair, feeling a weight of exasperation settle somewhere in the vicinity of her chest.

"Until the sight of you no longer irritates."

Her hand paused, fingers tangled in her locks of hair, and she struggled not to tear a few stray strands out as she bit down on a shudder of anger. Instead, she turned away on a sharp heel, but not before grumbling an equally sharp, "Asshole!" There was no answer from behind her, and she pinched at the bridge of her nose once more as she walked off, preferring the physical discomfort over what she could feel welling up inside, emotions she did not care to identify, let alone acknowledge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update. I have not had much time to write this past week, and also dealing with some writer's block, which I absolutely detest! I'm not as far as I'd like to be in the coming chapters, but I wanted to give you all something to read. Hopefully I can power through this latest block and make sure these next few chapters don't suck! Fingers crossed!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE 7/24/19: PLEASE READ NOTES BELOW.

Dawn had long since established itself by the time consciousness returned. The warmth of the sun beat against the skin and whispered promises of heat that the day would bring. And when Sesshomaru opened his eyes, the bright rays stung his vision and brought into sharp focus the aches of his body. His muscles complained when he began to move, stiff and sore, more than a vague reminder of what had transpired; the last remnants of Inukimi's dokkaso, at least, would be gone by tomorrow. But when he gathered the mokomoko over his shoulder, a more prominent discomfort in his arms caught his attention and he drew back the sleeves of his haori. His wrists were marred with the bruised imprints of hands and fingers smaller than his own. And the finer details of the previous evening trickled to the forefront of his mind before he yanked the sleeves over the marks, peering around. 

It did not take long for him to notice the one responsible, perched nearby at the edge of the stream, with that pale beast sitting beside her. The scales covering the massive frame were glistening under more than sunlight and it took the daiyoukai a moment to understand what he was seeing. Water was running over the dragon, a steady flow of it trickling upward from the stream, an oddity he had witnessed only once before, when Lucidity had washed blood and grime from his own body. She was doing the same now with this creature, which was following her movements so attentively, its long tail tapping the ground near where she stood beside a hind leg. The sight of her scrubbing blood off those white scales with her bare hands, so keen upon her work and seemingly oblivious to all else, was inexplicably vexing.

Sesshomaru rose swiftly to his feet.

And his boot promptly knocked over a small bundle of clothing, sending it cascading across the dirt and grass. 

He stared. For longer than he cared to admit, staring was the only thing he could do. He was utterly...perplexed by what he was seeing. And though the idea was absurd, he even briefly wondered if he was somehow trapped in the grips of a dream where logic and reality had no meaning. His eyes repeatedly roamed over the scarlet patterns etched upon the white clothing until he finally stooped down to pick it up. He let the material slide between his hands and knew he was not mistaken. This was an exact replica of the attire he was already wearing, which had caused his initial confusion. Softer than youkai silk and constructed of fabric finer than that of a spider's web; he was not completely unaccustomed to this texture. 

"Lucidity!" 

The woman in question glanced over when he called her, and her eyes darted to the haori and hakama in his grasp, then back to his face. Yet she said nothing, keeping her hands on the dragon and watching him in mute expectation. 

"What is the meaning of this?" Sesshomaru asked.

"No meaning," she said. "I made it for you, is all." 

"How? You have no materials, no supplies." 

Blue eyes rolled at him. But before he could demand an explanation, she'd stepped away from the dragon, and the water immediately ceased its unnatural flow, receding back into the stream, as she crouched down, to place her palm upon the ground. And when she lifted her hand, it wasn't dirt that she held, but a single thread. He moved closer, both bewildered and intrigued, as she pulled at this thread of mysterious material like a person would pull a bucket out of a well. She wrapped the thread around her hands over and over until her skin was nearly lost from sight before she finally stood, the thread severing from its source in the same motion. Without a word, she worked it between her hands. Sesshomaru was reminded of a weaver at her loom, using various cords of different colors, to create a single piece of fabric, except Lucidity used nothing more than her fingers. And when she was done, she presented him with a small, simple cloth. 

"The raw materials used to make and dye clothing are simple for a Guardian to gather," she said. "And what isn't from the soil or the plants-like wool or leather-is taken from the animals, even youkai, that die and decompose. They give up their essence to the earth, so to speak, and we use it. A Guardian can make almost anything, so long as she knows the right combination. The East has always reinforced her clothing, though, with.... Ah, well, I don't really have the words to describe the bonds of elements that she used." 

Sesshomaru glanced down at the bundle he held, his thumb brushing over the red markings. 

"I wasn't sure if those held any meaning for you," said Lucidity, who had come to stand in front of him, and was now lifting a dangling sleeve of the new haori, studying her creation. "I tried to duplicate the pattern, just in case; I hope it looks all right." 

"I see nothing wrong," the daiyoukai replied. "But you are saying, then, that this clothing offers the same protection as yours?" 

"Yes," she said. "I would go as far as to claim that it is stronger than your armor." She nodded at his pauldron. 

"Why did you make this?" 

She shrugged, still staring at the haori. "Why wouldn't I?" 

His eyes narrowed. "You spent the night using the memories, didn't you?" he asked; and though he was not surprised when she nodded, he frowned regardless. "None of this was necessary." 

She let the sleeve slip from her grasp, along with the cloth, which fluttered to the ground and disintegrated back into the dirt upon contact. "Say what you want," she said without looking at him. "You've been poisoned three times in less than three months. These clothes would have prevented at least some of that, so you can't claim that it's useless." 

"I never attempted to claim as such," he said. "Poison of this world has little affect on me and the weapons that could pierce this material are the only ones that are a threat to this Sesshomaru. Armor or not would make little difference in the end. It was not necessary to make these clothes or use the memories. You know I do not care for the affect the memories have on you; you are useless until you regain your surroundings." 

"I'm fine," she muttered.

"Your behavior suggests otherwise."

She lifted her head and gave him a blank look. "Does the sight of me continue to irritate you?"

He blinked, and then frowned. He knew the answer. From the moment he had awoken, he'd known, and would be a fool to believe that she did not.

"Then why should my behavior be anything but what it is?" she asked, and yet did not wait for a response. "Do what you will with the clothes. They're yours whether you want them or not."

And she left him there by the stream, holding a set of haori and hakama he had little interest in, as the dragon roused itself from its resting spot to follow her down the craggy mountain path. He watched her until she disappeared between the outcrops, his mind weighed down by thoughts he did not wish to dwell on, and his grip tightened on the robes. His claws, however, could not pierce through.

* * *

Though it did not take the daiyoukai long to catch up to the woman and her new pet-absent anything in his hands-the pair had covered more ground than he had anticipated. The outcrops had given way to the high walls of a passage within the mountain, with the stream splitting through the center and leaving paths of earth barely wide enough to accommodate the large beast that had taken upon itself to join them and that Lucidity was too soft to turn away. Why did the creature intrigue her? Did she simply find it too beautiful to refuse? And why had she gone so far? Had she believed he would turn a blind eye to her venturing off on her own again?

These questions and others did little to improve Sesshomaru's mood as he bounded over the dragon and landed in front of Lucidity. She stopped, as did the dragon, towering over both their figures, its head weaving slightly from side-to-side. "Where are you going?" he demanded.

Her brows rose. "To deal with that little problem on the coast," she said. "Unless you prefer to take care of that on your own while I search for the Princes?"

The response only threatened to further infuriate him as he stepped towards her. "And what makes you believe I will allow that?"

She folded her arms, a haughty defiance in her posture. "You are too angry to be near me for long," she replied. "You mentioned before when you were annoyed that I could search my domain on my own if I kept complaining. How is this any different?"

"You are pregnant," he said flatly, his claws curling.

"So you say," she grumbled, and brushed past him.

He turned and seized her by the arm. She whipped her head around as a low rumble reverberated from the dragon, but the daiyoukai ignored the rising tension and held fast to her. "You will not put yourself or this child in unnecessary danger simply because you do not accept what comes so easy to most."

Her expression was blank once more as she stared at him, up until the smallest of wrinkles appeared between her eyes and she looked away. The daiyoukai scowled and jerked her closer. Her fingers scraped along his breastplate as she caught herself against him, only to take a quick step back, her hand falling away.

"Why do you refuse to believe?" he growled.

"It is better to question the truth than it is to believe a lie you desperately want to be true," she muttered, her gaze wandering to rest elsewhere on the wall beside them.

"I have given you no reason to doubt my word, but you continue to question me. Why?" he demanded, his fingers tightening on her arm, hard enough that she gritted her teeth against the pain. "Why do you question someone you claim to trust? Who taught you to live by such inane notions? Your father?"

"If you absolutely must know," sneered Lucidity, starting to strain against his grip, "it was my mother, however inadvertently."

The answer gave him pause, enough that she was able to wrench herself free and move back, rubbing at her arm and glaring at the daiyoukai. Behind him, he could hear the dragon shifting its weight. If the beast was anxious or impatient, it made no difference to him as he continued to ignore it in favor of frowning at Lucidity. "And how could a woman you never met teach you so crude a lesson?"

The smile that crossed her lips was cold and bitter as she shook her head. "How is it that you can be so different from other men in so many ways and yet the same as any other bastard out there?"

"Enough of your insults, woman!" he growled. "After what I have done for you, you _will_ explain yourself to me."

"Done for me?" she echoed, and the mocking incredulity in her voice had him grabbing her by the shoulder and pushing her back against the rock wall. She grunted, baring teeth at him like an animal, her fingers closing over his wrist, but she made no attempt to free herself. The snap of the dragon's jaws rattled the air and dislodged several loose stones above that came tumbling to the ground, some rolling to a stop near their feet. He heard the dragon close in, smelled its putrid breath, but a gesture from Lucidity, who lifted a hand over his shoulder, held the beast at bay, even caused it to step back and rumble its displeasure. "Tell me," she said, each word clear and punctuated with anger, her gaze piercing, "exactly what it is you have done for me that I obviously should have realized if your temper has reduced you to physical violence."

The note of sarcasm was not lost on the daiyoukai, but he did not release her, even if his initial impulse was to push her harder against the wall. "Are you deaf, woman?" he asked. "Did you not hear what my mother had to say? I have told you more than once that you are my priority. Did you never consider the discord that might arise from that decision?"

"Pelting me with questions is not an explanation!" she snapped. "Gods be damned, just talk to me! Spell it out if you have to."

"I chose you over my duties to the western lands," he said, drawing closer until his face was hardly a breath from hers. A thread of power stirred in the pit of his being, and his voice grew low, guttural. "I chose you over the empire I have sought so long to build. Your position as Guardian has taken precedent over everything. That is what enraged Inukimi. Do you understand now, you idiot wench?! It's because of you that she turned on me!"

Silence answered the vehement outpour of confessions. Lucidity gaped at him in a way he had not expected, but was no less pleased by. Her astonishment soothed the ache of his foul mood, and his power simmered into nothing at the sight of her mouth hanging open, at how she blinked at him repeatedly, unable to find a proper response, until her muddled expression abruptly cleared without warning and she eased her mouth shut. "You blame me," she murmured.

Now it was Sesshomaru who was surprised and it was his turn to stare before he made an attempt to speak. "What are you-"

"That is why you're so angry with me," she said, cutting across him. "Inukimi betrayed you, yes, but you blame me for being the cause behind it."

"That is not-"

"You came to the decision on your own to abandon your duties," she pressed on. "I never asked it of you, but some part of you believes that I'm responsible, that if it wasn't for me none of this would have ever happened."

Rare it was for the daiyoukai's temper to be so easily reduced to a flurry of doubts and unease. He did not want to accept such a ludicrous idea, even if the intensity of his fury towards Lucidity was...bewildering. He'd wondered at the depths of his anger, of where it had stemmed from, and could only conclude that her flippant behavior of the previous night was the cause. Her lack of respect, her lack of gratitude, would have been enough to enrage even the most composed and docile of men. He saw no reason to believe otherwise.

No reason.... 

Behind them, the dragon snorted, and Sesshomaru felt the brush of hot breath that tossed strands of his hair over his shoulder and ruffled the fur of his mokomoko. The movement of Lucidity's throat caught his eye as she swallowed, and he suddenly noticed how rigid she was in his grasp, how tightly he held her, and wondered at what she hid behind her gaze that showed him little more than a quiet rage. His grip started to loosen. 

And the mountain wall exploded above them.

Not long ago, his first instinct would have been to reach for a weapon. But as stone and dust rained down around them and the dragon roared its agitation in the background, he found himself pulling this insufferable woman beneath his arm and leaping to the top of the wall opposite, regardless of knowing that she was perfectly capable of this on her own; it was simply...a reaction. And as he stood on what was little more than a narrow ledge at the base of a slope, acutely aware of the body pressed against his, he peered out at the chaos unfolding below. 

The dark, glistening mass that was pouring out of the mountain was near the same size as his true form, if only greater in length. His initial consideration was some breed of youkai snake, until he noted the pattern of its armored backside and the pointed structure of what could only be its head, if the gaping mouth ringed with several rows of jagged teeth was any indicator. No eyes, which was to be expected; most worms were blind. 

"I thought these youkai stayed underground," muttered Lucidity, as the dragon roared once more at the writhing creature and began retreating backward, its marred wings spreading. 

"In soils rich with death," answered the daiyoukai. 

"What do you think drove it out?" 

That explanation, at least in part, was quickly given. He caught the scent on the wind before he saw them emerge from the treeline on the slope across the way, accompanied by their four-legged counterparts. Cladded in fur and armor, the wolf pack cascaded into the mountain passage, weapons drawn, as the youkai worm suddenly threw itself into the wall directly beneath himself and Lucidity. And while it attempted to burrow its way back into the earth, the wolves converged, blades swinging, only to be thwarted by their opponent's armor, some even shattering upon impact. The dragon, agitated by all the noise, belted its anger in a spout of flames that did not quite fall short of the...battle, if such a pathetic display could be considered as such. The air was tinged with the scent of singed hair as the wolves cried out in alarm and scattered behind boulders or dove into the protection of the water. A few even darted behind the youkai worm itself, which bore the brunt of the white and blue fire. 

It screamed, or as close to a scream as the blind thing was capable of, if the wailing screech was any indication. Its armor charred and a stretch of its soft underbelly blackened, it flailed on the ground, twisting back and forth. The sight was an odd and unwanted reminder of the hanyou, Naraku, in times when his body was hacked apart, and yet continued to writhe about, seeking to consume other youkai to strengthen himself.

"Hey!"

The voice that echoed from the midst of the pack stirred a vague memory in the back of the daiyoukai's mind.

"We need to roast this bastard alive; let's pit these two against each other."

"Leave it, Lucidity," Sesshomaru said when the woman immediately extracted herself from him. "The creature should not be your concern."

But she merely gave him a withering glare before jumping into the fray, placing herself between the wolves with their weapons and the dragon with its fire. And voices instantly rose in a clamor of fury and surprise, and the dragon shifted its weight, its resonating growl filling the passage. The wolves were splitting their numbers, between an attempt to hold off the youkai worm still trying to orientate itself and now Lucidity and the potential threat she might pose. And tempting though it was to leave her to her foolishness, Sesshomaru found himself remaining where he was, overlooking the events below, but...unwilling to engage.

Insufferable woman, to put him in this position.

"Who the hell are you?" shouted the young leader of the pack as he leapt to the forefront.

Lucidity didn't answer, interacting as she was with the dragon, touching its snout and stroking its neck in an effort to sooth the blasted beast. And watching her now was as irritating as when the daiyoukai had first awoken, albeit for different reasons.

"If that animal is yours, then get it to kill that youkai before it gets away again!" said the leader. "It's given us enough trouble."

Again, there was no response from Lucidity, but rather an ironic cacophony of yells that prevented any further argument. Sesshomaru peered over at the youkai worm to see that it had reared up. And though its underside was now exposed, the meager weapons of the pack had little impact against the sheer girth of their opponent. Their blades could do nothing more than create shallow cuts as a low, hacking noise began to emit from the worm, and something rolled through its underbelly. 

"Get out of there, you idiots!" came the command from the leader. "Everyone move!"

The wolves scattered, but the fluid was already dripping from the round opening that was the youkai's mouth. And like a snake regurgitating its last meal, the worm dispelled the contents of its stomach. The pungent odor of acid assaulted the senses as readily as the substance itself, splattering the ground and those who had been too slow to react. The world was rich with screams of pain, of youkai writhing in miserable agony. The ones who were able to plunged themselves into the water of the stream to wash their bodies of the corrosive liquid, while others had to be carried or pulled along. And even then, the daiyoukai could spot a few of their number who were nothing but shapeless, unmoving forms that were quickly dissolving into collections of flesh and bone. Once more, the wolves charged at the worm, the leader among them, while Lucidity and her dragon stood far enough-

Damn that woman!

His eyes narrowed as Lucidity suddenly moved forward, her yellow hair and white robes a stark contrast to the skirmish of dark wolves that surrounded her. He wondered only briefly at what had possessed her to join the fight before she ducked behind a boulder and emerged seconds later, dragging a nearly unconscious male by the underarms, who'd been overlooked in the melee of confusion, his leg rotting away beneath the acid.

Why had she chosen to aid these youkai? How she came to these decisions was a matter that Sesshomaru had yet to fully understand. He had seen her ignore travelers being set upon by thieves and, on the same day, stop to help an elderly villager who had dropped a basket. It was...perplexing. 

And, ultimately, unimportant. 

The wolves being tossed by the thrashing of the armored youkai was more relevant in this moment. That wailing screech punctuated the air, forceful, raging, its shadow looming over those below, over Lucidity, who raised her eyes to the creature as she crouched with her charge leaning back against her. Acid dripped from the jagged teeth, spotting the grass and dirt around her, before the youkai lifted back its head, those same, wave-like movements dancing across its underside.

The blade of Bakusaiga had sliced through the worm before the daiyoukai was even consciously aware that he'd drawn the sword, let alone leapt off the ledge. There was no wailing screech this time, only the satisfying crackle of energy that tore through the youkai. Shreds of skin and shards of bone rained through the mountain passage while the wolves looked on, both mesmerized and bewildered at the abrupt ending to the battle. Slowly, they started to emerge from where they had taken cover, or limped their way out of the stream. Others didn't move, nursing injuries too crippling, or perhaps too fatal.

Sesshomaru swept his gaze over the pack as he sheathed Bakusaiga, taking in their overall state, and even spared a glance at the dragon observing in the background, before peering down at Lucidity. He was not surprised to find her staring up at him, with the wolf still propped against her. His mouth pressed into a thin line at, not only the sight of a stranger's head against her shoulder, but at the slight curl to her upper lip, the way her brows contracted in his direction. Her expression was challenging, as though daring him to voice his disapproval.

"Oi!"

He looked over at the sound, to see the leader walking towards him, flanked by several of his men. The young wolf stopped short of the daiyoukai, hands on his hips, and glanced between him and Lucidity.

"I remember you," said the leader. "You're that mutt's older brother. Sesshomaru, right? What are you doing here?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer, and was spared the aggravation of an interrogation when a groan from the one Lucidity held caught the leader's attention and he brushed past the daiyoukai to crouch in front of her, inspecting the extent of his man's injury.

"We're gonna need to cut this leg off," he said, then looked around at the remainder of his pack spread about the passage. "Probably won't be the only one who loses a limb today, and that's if he's lucky." The wolf's gaze had come to rest on the piles of blood and other bodily fluids, which covered what was left of the bones that were melting under the potency of the acid.

"If he's lucky, yes," came the soft agreement from the Guardian.

"You're Lucidity, aren't you?" asked the leader.

"And you're Koga," she replied.

Koga grinned. "Kagome's been telling you all about me, huh?"

"Not really."

The grin faded.

"We should get your people taken care of," said Lucidity, her attention on the one against her. "At this rate, they'll be dying from blood loss or infection."

"Yeah, yeah, we got it," Koga said as he stood. "We've been dealing with this worm for days. We know what to-"

"Koga!"

The leader spun around. "Ayame!" he shouted. "What the hell are you doing? I told you to stay in the den!"

The young female, who had appeared at the edge of the slope, gave an audible scoff. And the four-legged counterparts of the youkai, unable to leap into the fray from such a distance, congregated around her, pressing their noses against her in a manner that was owed to an alpha. Yet she paid them no mind as she quickly jumped down into the passage.

"Ayame, go back home," ordered Koga. "I don't want you anywhere near this crap."

"Tough," said Ayame. "I'm here and I'm not leaving, so don't bother arguing about it. And, why haven't any fires been built? We need to burn the injuries so the acid doesn't spread."

"I know that!" Koga snapped. "Fine! Have it your way, Ayame. You're in charge of all the wounded."

The reason for his anger was obvious when Sesshomaru noted the extended stomach beneath the white furs the female wore. It was...odd to realize that he and this wolf had such a thing in common. Koga no more wanted his mate involved in warfare than Sesshomaru wanted Lucidity here. The acid alone was cause enough to keep a pregnant female from the area. If it had been possible, he would have sequestered Lucidity on the Isle until she gave birth. And even then.... But it was not possible, he reminded himself. She was not like any other female, youkai or otherwise. 

As the wolves organized themselves and fires sprang to life throughout the passage, the wounded were gathered. The wolf Lucidity had saved was taken by the pack and it was not long before fresh screams filled the air as seeping wounds were cauterized. Sesshomaru recalled when Lucidity had done the same to him with her hands alone and it didn't surprise him when she approached Koga and began speaking with him. With so much noise and too many people between them, Sesshomaru could not hear what was being said. Yet he saw the surprise and intrigue on the leader's face, saw him nod, and then watched as he led Lucidity over to the wolves waiting to be tended to.

And, again, the daiyoukai wondered at her reasons, even entertained the idea of asking, but instead decided to wait, regardless of how it irritated him to do so. He walked around the gathered pack, to where the dragon was sitting, wings folded against its body, taking great gulps of water from the stream. Its gaze darted up at his approach, but nothing more. There were no outward signs of aggression or distrust. Only when he was close enough to touch did the dragon lift its head, water dripping down its white scales, until it was eye-level with the daiyoukai.

He could see the practical use of the beast, as he had with Ah-Un. The fire alone was effective. And when the wings sufficiently healed, it would allow Lucidity swifter travel, now that she was unable to transform; she had mentioned needing to transverse oceans in the search for the Princes. Yet her attachment to the creature was utterly impractical. Was it her condition that led this...emotional response? And why had this dragon bonded itself to her? Merely because she had saved it? The thought reminded him of Rin. Did that mean the dragon was young, then?

A soft reverberation of sound echoed from the throat of the beast as it stared at him, and his eyes narrowed. Lower the sound became, a deep resonation felt throughout the body, and the claws of one hand curled. The dragon eased its head to the ground, golden gaze still fixed on him, and he could see several small stones dancing under the vibration of the strange purr.

Tolerable.

"Weird looking thing, isn't it?" called a voice from behind the daiyoukai, and the wolf leader soon came to stand beside him, arms folded. "But it's not a first, not with all the shit we've been seeing lately. That worm started attacking our mountain a few days ago. I've never seen one outside of a mass grave or battlefield, somewhere that they can eat the newly dead. Never heard of them hunting the living before. Have you? .... Hey, I'm talking to you! Something strange is going on, and then you show up with this woman who is supposed to be some all-powerful deity or the daughter of one, right? Figured you of all people would have some insight, but I guess I shouldn't expect so much from a mangy dog."

Sesshomaru slid his eyes over to the wolf, but before he could reciprocate in kind, the unexpected snap of the dragon's jaws had Koga leaping back with a shout of surprise. Sesshomaru felt the corner of his mouth curve as Koga glared up at the beast.

"Stupid animal!" he yelled. "If you're so ready to pick a fight, why did you hang back like some lazy piece of-"

A hand descended onto his shoulder and the wolf stiffened as Lucidity leaned into his peripheral view. "I told her to stay put," said Lucidity. "And I think you owe Sesshomaru an apology; he's the one who just saved your pack."

Koga jerked out of her touch and turned to glare at her. "I ain't apologizing to no one," he spat, "especially not to some flea-bitten dog."

"And I require no such thing from a low-bred youkai unable to protect his own," said the daiyoukai.

"You got something to say to me, yah stupid mutt?!"

Sesshomaru's hand was already on the hilt of Bakusaiga when Lucidity stepped between them.

"Out of the way, woman," he ordered.

"I'd listen to that husband of yours," said Koga, just as two wolves broke apart from the pack and rushed over, the same two who had accompanied the leader when their paths first crossed. "I don't want to hurt a friend of Kagome's, but I will if I have to. So, get moving, lady."

"Hey, Koga, we could really use your help right now," interjected one of the wolves.

"Yeah, we need to...to uh...." The second one trailed off, scratching at his head in an effort to imagine a plausible lie.

"Start carrying some of these guys back to the den," said the first. "And you're the strongest of us, so you could carry three to our two and-"

"Back off, both of you!" Koga shouted. "I don't need you interfering. You think I can't defeat Sesshomaru, is that it? Just watch!"

"But he just killed that youkai for us."

"Exactly! Just let this one go, Koga."

"Are you two blind?! He didn't do it for us! He did it to save his woman!"

"But we still could have lost a lot more men if he hadn't."

"Shut up already and get out of the way!"

"Go back, Koga."

And despite how they had begun to struggle, the three wolves fell silent when Lucidity spoke, with Koga's fist raised in the air, preparing to strike the other two now physically restraining him. At the same time, the leader turned his attention onto Lucidity, a deep scowl marring his mouth, only to freeze suddenly. With her back to him, Sesshomaru could not see the expression on her face. Yet, whatever was there, had the young wolf lowering his fist, his scowl disappearing, while his men stared with mouths slightly ajar, hanging awkwardly onto their leader.

"Go back to your family," Lucidity said, "and leave mine alone. Please, Koga."

Soon, Koga shook free of the others and recovered himself with a harsh scoff. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I got more important things to do anyway than tangle with some mutt. Come on, you two, let's head back to the den."

"That's what we've been trying to...never mind," grumbled one of the wolves after Koga began striding away.

Sesshomaru finally took his hand from Bakusaiga as Lucidity turned around. Blue eyes rose to meet his, but he could see nothing that could give any hint as to what had so nullified the young pack leader. Her expression was impassive. Not guarded, simply...empty. Whatever she had shown Koga was no longer there, and Sesshomaru...did not know how or if to respond. She walked past him, muttering about getting to the coastline, and the dragon stood to follow her. As he listened to the wolves moving back up the slope and taking their wounded with them, he watched her carry on down the passage. It wasn't until he, too, set off that he heard the two wolves speaking in undertones to one another. 

"That was...."

"Yeah...."

"She was...."

"Yeah...."

"I can see why Inuyasha's brother...."

"Yeah...."

"A guy could really fall for her...."

The daiyoukai cast a cold glare over his shoulder at the wolves, who promptly blanched at their near-fatal mistake, spun around, and sprinted back to their pack. Satisfied that all distractions had been dealt with, he continued on his way, once again wondering at Lucidity and her actions, at what the wolves could have possibly seen in her face to bring about such a response. Fall for her? What fools.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes, coming to a stop, and let out a soft, self-depreciating scoff. If they were fools, what, then, did that make him?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delayed update. I'm still working through that writer's block, so I'm still not as far ahead as I'd like to be, nor am I satisfied with the chapters themselves. There might be a delay in the next chapter, as well. :(
> 
> But look! Koga has made an appearance! I wanted to include him at some point in the first story, but there was never an opportunity. If I'm able to, I will probably bring him back in a later chapter, as this little scene doesn't feel like enough; his interactions with Sesshomaru were kinda fun to play with.
> 
>  
> 
> Update 7/24/19: 
> 
> I'm very sorry to inform you all that there will be no new chapter this week and probably nothing next week. I hope to have written a sufficient amount and have a fresh post by next Sunday. So, August 4th is the goal, probably some time in the evening. Mountain standard time for those who live in the US. 
> 
> Again, many apologies. Things have been a little hectic lately. Couple of non-injury car accidents in the family that have cost us stress, time, and potentially money for one family member now in need of a new (used) vehicle. Plus the hubby is taking me on a mini getaway this weekend. 
> 
> And I'm still struggling with writer's block. So, any time I've had to write has been spent staring at the screen for half of it, typing and then deleting and typing again for the rest and getting very little done. I have to say that I really am wanting these two to work towards ultimately resolving their issues. While I still consider this a learning curve for both Sesshy and Lucy on how to be in a relationship, it really has been bothering me how unhealthy their behaviors have become, as Natylogar pointed out. So, a good portion of my writer's block may be stemming from that and how to work it into the coming chapters. Well, that and some impending scenes that I don't have much interest in writing, but are definitely needed to move the story along. 
> 
> So, please, hang in there! By no means have I abandoned this series. Should that ever happen-the Mother forbid!-I will make an announcement and write you all an outline showing the outcome of the story. A small lifeline, I know, to keep people from drowning. 
> 
> Stay Calm and Team Fluffy!


	27. Chapter 27

This would not do. It was unacceptable. He could not abide. Should not abide. And yet it seemed he had no choice.

He, Sesshomaru, was exhausted.

From mere travel that spanned a single day. His mother's dokkaso was effective. It was fitting that nothing less should render him so feeble; however, that did not mean it wasn't infuriating. It was Lucidity who wished to push on, to journey throughout the night, when normally she was the one who preferred to relax in the hours of darkness. But now she spoke only of the nuisance at the coast, of searching for the Princes, and even suggested, once more, of setting off on her own. A practical solution, yes. She was more than capable of looking after herself, no less with that ridiculous dragon to accompany her. Yet again, Sesshomaru would not hear of it, reiterating for a second time her pregnancy and how he would not allow a separation.

"Fine!" she had snapped, apparently incensed by the simple mention of her condition. "Go to sleep then, so you might be of some use to the Guardian you are so adamant to protect."

The outburst was not unexpected. There had been little interaction between them since they left the company of the wolves that morning. Lucidity had maintained her distance and Sesshomaru, frustratingly uncertain about the situation, did the same. Their conversation-if it could be considered as such-prior to the arrival of the youkai worm continued the play itself over in his mind, to the point that he had started to feel an ache forming in his temple. He had not been able to form a proper answer before they'd been interrupted. Even so, he was...doubtful he would have responded appropriately. He had no desire to admit.... 

Yet trying to sort out what had gone wrong did not end there. Everything from the past few days to the past few months plagued his thoughts: the beast that was the instincts of a youkai to impregnate so powerful a female; the wedge it had driven between he and Lucidity; the murder of the North; the broken bonds of the Guardians; the search for the Princes; the threat from the sea; invading youkai of foreign lands; an ill-timed pregnancy; his decision that ultimately led to a shattering of familial. 

It all accumulated until he believed he understood, in some small way, the burden that came with the memories, the toll that it repeatedly took on Lucidity's mind, and even why she had pleaded with him the other night to alleviate the madness that had become this life that he found himself sharing with her. How strange everything was, in the end, that he, Sesshomaru, Lord of the West, would relinquish land and title, honor and duty, for a woman who could not tolerate his presence.

Astonishing, it was, that he managed any semblance of sleep. Though his mind refused to give him peace, his body could not tolerate this conscious state for long. It was only when he awoke with a jolt that he even realized he had drifted off, staring up at the canopy of stars and the waxing full moon. Piecing together what had happened which had brought him to this clearing of meadow was more difficult than it should have been. And yet he struggled. He recalled the fatigue in his muscles, the stiffness of his limbs, and how he'd advised Lucidity that he must rest and her reluctance to stop. And after their disagreement, she had gone to sit with the dragon.

The silhouette of the white beast was unmistakable against the darkened foliage of trees that housed a number of nocturnal creatures unwilling to venture near the daiyoukai. There was no threat in the area, which he could not understand. What was it that had awoken him so suddenly? There was no danger in the forest or meadow. Nothing but low-class youkai resided here. It wasn't until he rose from the nest of the mokomoko and drew the fur over his shoulder that he noticed that the scent of the woman was too faint.

Lucidity was gone.

He realized that he had assumed she would want the dragon to remain with her. Yet now he discovered, as he came closer to the beast, that he'd been mistaken. The shallow rhythm of its breathing told the daiyoukai that the dragon still slept, but Lucidity was no longer curled up against its side. There was no sign of her, only a depleting trail that told him she must have slipped away not long after he had fallen asleep; she clearly had no intention of waiting for him to recover.

Why, then, had she continued on foot? That much was obvious when he began to follow her scent, sprinting over the distance she had walked. She could have taken to the air, covered more ground, but, instead, left him these blatant markings of her presence that even a human could follow. Footprints in the grass, the bent branches of trees, leaves that had been snapped off. She'd trekked across the meadow and into the forest where the trees thickened, then thinned until disappearing altogether into another open plain. He could hear the rush of water before he saw the river. Upstream she had gone. Her scent was growing stronger. How long had she wandered while he slept? She could have ventured farther than this. She could have easily outdistanced him in his condition.

Were the Princes behind this?

The mere thought was not unlike a physical blow to the body. The daiyoukai felt winded and, simultaneously, enraged that there was little that could be done. More precisely, little that he could do. He would fight them, yes, but he could not stop them. And the reality of the matter did not deter him. He would die in the attempt; even Lucidity knew that. If the Princes had somehow taken her, obscuring their aura and scent alike.... Why leave him alive, if they had? Did he simply pose no threat to them? Or was it to torment him with the knowledge of their intentions for her?

His pace increased and the landscape around him became little more than patches of indistinct darkness, his feet nary touching the ground. And it was with a bounding leap over the last cluster of trees that he landed on the edge of a small lake that fed into the river. So engrossed in his thoughts, he had not noticed the soft roar of the waterfalls that spanned the far side of the lake. His lack of awareness would have been a strong source of humiliation not long ago. Now, however, he was too distracted in searching for the one whose scent permeated the air. 

She was there.

Just beyond the reach of the mist from the falls, she was stretched out across the surface of a low, flat stone, the edge of which rested in the waters of the lake. And, laid out on another rock, were her robes. Arms across her stomach, hair swept to the side, and eyes shut, she was perfectly still in her nudity, never stirring in his presence. His eyes scanned the area once more as he wondered, waiting, but all was quiet. He could smell nothing, sense nothing, not even the belly-crawling youkai who should have infested the forest. He crossed what distance remained between he and Lucidity. He could see her chest rise and fall with each breath, skin glistening with water as though she had just risen from its depths. Her eyes never opened. Did she sleep? It was too early for her seasonal slumber. The pregnancy then? Or...the Princes? 

There was something else, a memory brought to the forefront of his mind at the sight of Lucidity, perhaps among the least pleasant to be accumulated during the course of his life. An image of this woman with her arms and legs arranged just so, absent the steady rhythm of her chest, and reposed along another smooth surface of white stone. Recalling her upon that altar, beyond the reach of Tenseiga, had the daiyoukai restraining himself from calling out her name, unlike his idiot hanyou brother shouting for his woman in a moment of panic. 

Panic?

Was that what he felt now? Was that what brought him to Lucidity's side so abruptly that he could not adequately remember if he had run or not? In his rational mind, he knew she was not dead. And yet, she infused him with such lack of reasoning that he struggled with a proper reaction. He should not be...relieved to see her eyes opening with such casual indifference as he stood over her. And when she eased herself upright, her head barely level with his shoulders, he should not want to embrace her because of that relief. Hands tightened into fists within the sleeves of his haori as he allowed his brows to contract, refusing to succumb, yet again, to this weakness she had infected him with. 

"What are you doing here, Lucidity?" he demanded, and the slow burn of his temper was reassuring; he should feel naught but anger that she had forced him to search for her. 

She blinked at him, her gaze lingering, then glanced down at herself, at the length of thick hair that hung heavily around her, saturated so thoroughly with the water of the lake that it trickled over her body in rivulets.

"You expect me to believe you came all this way to bathe?" 

"Yes," she replied with that ever-present indifference. "And to think."

He frowned, before peering around at the falls and the surrounding trees, considering the distance between here and where she had left him, and the trail she had made. "You were thinking about leaving, weren't you?" he soon asked. She did not reply, but stared out across the water. Her silence, however, was answer enough, and his claws dug into his palms as his displeasure with her became a hot pulse in his chest. "You know I will not allow this."

"I don't care," she said flatly. "You can't stand to even look at me right now. You honestly believe I want to be around that?"

"It is not safe-"

"You're a youkai lord who actively searches to fight the strongest opponents he can find and I'm a Guardian built to maintain the balance between life and death," she said. "When are we ever safe?"

"I will hear no argument, woman," he snapped. "You are to stay at my side." 

"I'm not arguing," came the soft murmur. "I'm telling you...that I don't want to be here; I'm sick of feeling like an obligation." 

He was jerking her face up before he fully realized he had seized her by the chin. His claws were biting into the soft skin of her cheeks, but, regardless, he forced her head back, forced her to look at him. She never made a sound, but stared at him with wide eyes, her nails scraping across the rock from where she braced herself. 

"Obligation?" he echoed, his voice rough with anger. "That is what you think of my actions, of my choice to be your Protector rather than rule my own empire?"

"How can I not?" she asked, so rigid in his grasp that she could have been the very stone she sat upon. "You resent having to make that decision. You even said back on Avalon that you chose to be my husband, but were obligated to be my Protector. You made your choice because of that, and you blame me for it, just like you blame me for what happened with your mother."

It wasn't until she winced that he noticed how tight his grip was on her. However, she made no attempt to break free, even as he stepped closer, baring down on her. "You dare," he growled, "to belittle what I have done for you? You understand nothing and presume everything-"

"When you tell me nothing, all I can do is assume," she interrupted in that same, infuriatingly listless tone.

"You are my priority, you idiot girl! I have told you before-"

"'Priority,'" she muttered, "is simply another word for 'duty,' which means you are bound by honor to act. And you act like you don't care-"

"Of course I care!" he shouted, and then froze. 

And it was for more than one reason that he froze. The first was the shock of hearing his own voice, the words that had broken from him in this latest lapse of judgment, and the second was hearing Lucidity gasp of pain; he'd seized her by the upper arm and dragged her upright, nearly lifting her off the rock entirely. But even as she tried to pull herself free, he was caught by this surge of...anger? Yes, anger, but also frustration, a sense of.... A need, for her to understand. Yet she did not. The way she interpreted his actions was maddening, but now he was reminded of what she had said before, of her fears, her lack of reasoning, her expectancy of being disappointed. She was completely and utterly irrational. 

And he was the fool who embraced her. 

"You are an insufferable woman," he whispered, lips resting above her ear, his hand buried in her wet hair and arm wrapped around her bare waist. She knelt there on the stone, shaking against him as if trapped by the chill of a winter wind that had arrived too early. "And you must learn to accept that this Sesshomaru wants you."

"....let go," she murmured.

But his arm only tightened around her, and she grew stiff and unyielding beneath his touch. "No," he said. "You were right. I did not realize the truth of the matter until you brought it to my attention. It was not reasonable to blame you for Inukimi's betrayal. The decision was hers alone to make, and you are not at fault."

A heavy breath escaped her, and the note of resignation did not go unnoticed. As she wished, he drew back, the better to meet her eye, but she wouldn't look at him. Even when his fingers curled beneath her chin and he tilted her head back, she didn't lift her gaze. And he found himself...uncertain. "What more would you have of me, Lucidity, other than this admission?" 

Wrinkles appeared in her forehead as she frowned and her eyes finally flicked up to his, her confusion blatant. "Are you...asking me how you can fix this?" 

He considered her a moment, then nodded. And when she pulled back, he let his hands fall away and folded his arms within the sleeves of his haori, watching as she leaned back on her heels and crossed an arm in front of her breasts to grip at her elbow. The gesture, to him, was an anxious one, as was the way she bit at her lip, the perfect image of an exposed and timid female with her brow so furrowed with worry. Without thought, he reached out and eased the back of his fingers against her cheek, a stark reminder of the first time he'd touched her simply because it was what he desired. Her reaction now, however, was different than before. Beneath Goshinboku, she'd stiffened in surprised, but here her eyes fell shut and the tension drained from her body. His palm slid across her cheek and he took her face in his hands before leaning down and sealing his lips to hers. 

She yielded then, and he could taste the saltwater on her tongue as he gathered her from the rock and brought her to her feet. She clutched at his armor as his hands glided across her back, feeling the moisture on her still-drying skin, and lifted her closer. But it was when his hand came to her hip and began moving lower that she broke the kiss and laid her forehead against his chest.

"Not tonight," she said. "I'm not in the mood."

With her standing naked before him, showing no inclination to cover herself, there was a temptation to suggest otherwise. Yet matters were far from improved, and he remained silent, doing little more more than drawing her against him and letting his chin come to rest on top of her head. She didn't argue, didn't resist, and it wasn't long before he was easing the mokomoko off his shoulder and laying them both down in the length of fur, away from the water's edge, with his arm still firmly latched around her waist. Sleep would not come again to him this night, and he knew Lucidity would fair no better. It would not be the first time they lay together in perfect silence, each aware that the other was awake, yet having no need to speak, to shatter their shared reverie.

After a short while, though, the daiyoukai felt her shift against him. She was moving closer, pressed to his side, head resting on his shoulder and a hand on his chest. Her fingers fiddled with the fabric of his haori and a sigh broke from her. And, as he suspected would happen when she fidgeted like this, her voice rose to echo softly close to his ear. "Sesshomaru?"

"Hnn?"

"You are no longer angry at me, then, for...anything?"

His answer was not immediate as he stared up at the night sky, riddled with a sense of...what he could only describe as discomfort. "I should not have been," he replied.

And Lucidity, too, took a moment to speak. "No?" she eventually asked. "What about your mother's palace?"

He glanced down, but could see nothing but the wet, golden hair. "What of it?"

"You aren't upset that I destroyed it? You grew up there, didn't you?"

"I spent my earliest years there, yes, but I never cared for it," he told her. "The palace was Inukimi's ancestral home and hers to guard. She failed, and I will not hold you responsible for her mistakes."

"But...if it was her ancestral home, then it was yours, too, wasn't it?"

"Did I not just say that I didn't care for it? Living there has never appealed to me, and I do not need the symbol of a palace to enforce my rule." However, even as he spoke, Sesshomaru reminded himself that he had abdicated his seat of power, literal or otherwise. The inhalation of Inukimi's home simply served to fortify these changes that were encompassing his life. The world of humans was impermanent, and youkai were no different, if only slower to adapt to new environments. He was not the exception; he would need to learn if he was to survive what the coming years would bring. That his mother was no longer capable of doing so was...disconcerting.

"Her response was more volatile than I could have predicted," he heard himself say, voicing aloud his trail of thoughts.

And Lucidity, who had grown quiet, lifted her head slightly from his shoulder. "What's that?"

"Her response," he repeated, keeping his gaze fixed on the stars overhead. "I did not expect her to take such extreme measures to preserve the family honor."

He was taken aback when Lucidity raised herself up onto an arm, and even more so when he saw the unease in her expression as she peered down at him. She started to speak, lips parted, drawing in a breath, then nothing. She stared at him with a mixture of uncertainty and...pity? He frowned, feeling his irritation stir; he was not one to be pitied, not even by the woman he called "wife."

"If you wish to say something, do so now, woman," he rumbled, which elicited another, albeit heavier sigh from her.

"That isn't why Inukimi tried to lock you in the urn," she replied without meeting his gaze, her own wandering somewhere down the length of their bodies.

He was not keen on this topic, and yet he found himself shamefully curious over Lucidity's interpretation of that night; and yet, she didn't elaborate any further, choosing, instead, to stare absently into the surrounding forest. "What other reason could she have?" he asked.

"You," Lucidity muttered. "To keep you safe, in her own, twisted way."

The daiyoukai could not help but snort, both amused and vexed by such a weak, predictable answer. "You imagine a heart where there is none, Lucidity," he said. "You are too accustomed to humans. Inukimi has never felt or cared as-"

Blue eyes slid over to him, severing his concentration before she even spoke. "Like you have never cared?" she asked.

He scowled. "That is not the same." 

"No, no it's not," Lucidity agreed, but there was no reassurance in her tone. "It's very different. You're her son. She would let me, and every other Guardian die with the world right along with us, if it meant you would live. We discussed just that in her garden; she said that your life is the only thing we could agree upon. She's afraid of the Princes and knows that you would rather die than run. You would rather be killed trying to defend me than live as a coward, so she attempted to remove the choice for you by imprisoning you. She would let the Princes have their fill of me until there was nothing left and they had gone on their way. And then, and only then, would she release you. She knew you will never forgive her, that you will always hate her, that you may even kill her, but so long as you survived, she was willing to take the risks."

Slowly, Sesshomaru sat up, and Lucidity leaned back on her heels, drying hair hanging about her face and shoulders, and hiding little from view. She was settled so close to him that the sleeve of his haori brushed against her arm. But his focus was steady, his eyes never leaving hers as he felt a pull at the corner of his mouth. He wanted to...reject these ideas that she spouted without restraint. And he would have if it wasn't for his mother's voice that now rang through his head, of her wanting to bide her time until the Princes of Death arrived, and of having no desire to gain, but only to preserve when it came to sealing him inside the urn. 

"You believe that is her reason?" he heard himself asking.

Lucidity nodded.

"You are certain?"

"I believe it is what people would call a mother's unconditional love," she said.

Sesshomaru looked away, doing little to mask the sneer that curled his lips. He wanted to demand what made Lucidity so confident in her answer, of what made her so well educated in a mother's nature, until a distant memory rose, unbidden, to his mind. It was the first conversation that was had with Rusuban, of the old caretaker explaining the need for Lucidity's first trial: the woman she was born to, for her to understand the value of a mother's love when so cruelly denied it. Perhaps, then, Lucidity was more aware of it than most people, having never experienced it herself and envying those it was given to so freely. It was absurd to imagine that Inukimi was capable of such...attachment to him. Then again, it was not long ago that he had believed the same of himself.

The hand that touched his cheek jolted him back to his surroundings, an unexpected shock that he loathed to admit. That he would even drop his guard.... Was it such a surprise, though, given the company he was in? He reached up without looking at Lucidity, intending to simply remove her hand. But when his fingers closed over her wrist, he paused, in a way, rebelling against his own idea of taking this warmth away. Instead, he turned his head, eyes falling shut, and laid his lips against her palm, breathing in the scent of her skin, the scent of the crisp air in this limbo between night and day. 

"I'm sorry this happened, Sesshomaru," she said, and he felt fingers combing through his hair. 

"I have no need of your pity, woman," he said, but there was no heat in his voice, no anger. 

He heard her snort in reply. "I wonder what upsets you the most: that you are bothered about learning why your mother betrayed you or that it bothers you at all." 

His fingers tightened on her wrist as his temper stirred, flickered to life, only to be dowsed in one great breath as Sesshomaru let out a deep exhale. He could not find it in himself to be angry with Lucidity, not when she threatened to strangle him with a truth he had been ignorant of. And that he had been ignorant at all, blinded to.... It was infuriating. Yet this was a fury he did not know what to do with. How did one handle...? How could he direct an anger he felt towards himself? 

Some sound, some gesture must have betrayed his inner thoughts. Why else would Lucidity suddenly be there? Or perhaps she was merely accustomed to the subtle nuances of his moods. She was too observant for her own good, noticing what he did not, understanding what he could not. And now she dared to coddle him like a child! Kneeling upright, her arms around his neck and fingers burrowing deeper into his hair, she pressed her lips to his forehead. He had to stop himself from growling, from shoving her away, an impulse that was made easier when she whispered his name. It wasn't her tone or the way she leaned against him, how she rested her cheek on the top of his head. It was simply her voice. Why it should extinguish his anger, he didn't know, nor did he care to understand, and soon gathered her to him, so that she was settled upon his leg, her own stretched across his lap. And, holding her around the waist, he pressed his face to her neck, inhaling the fresh aroma of her skin, and traced his claws along her shoulder and down her arm. 

"Insufferable woman," he said against her throat. "Why do I indulge you when you seek to destroy this Sesshomaru?" 

"I could say the same thing about you," she murmured, her mouth moving over the tip of one ear. "I've never relied on anyone as I do you. I'm more afraid of losing you than anything, and I absolutely hate it." 

He felt his lips curve. It was fitting that the woman he should choose regarded connecting to others in the same manner as he did, that she should believe there was strength in solitude and weakness in attachments. And regardless of their similar natures, they had inexplicably managed to come together, even if this union of theirs had become so...volatile. 

"I'm sorry about Inukimi," she suddenly said. "I really am. I can understand her desperation; I _did_ knock you unconscious that one time, after all. But, she's your mother and she took it too far. And even if you are estranged, what she does still affects you-"

"What would you know of it, woman?" he snapped, drawing his head back to glare at her, and immediately wished he hadn't. She was not quick enough to stop her eyes from widening, to hide the flash in her gaze. Too slow to lower her eyes, to turn away, and he clenched his jaw in frustration, letting out a sharp breath between his teeth. He did not...enjoy being the one responsible for that look on her face, and it even caused him to hesitate before sliding his hand along her cheek, fingers becoming entangled in the stray locks of her hair. "What are you keeping from me, Lucidity?" he asked, and the patience in his voice could have been infinite.

"Nothing," she muttered.

"We established long ago that you are a poor liar," he said.

"I've managed to fool many people, Sesshomaru. It's part of being a Guardian; you know that," she replied. Regardless, she still did not raise her head.

"You cannot fool me, woman," he said firmly. "And you know that. Now answer me."

"It's nothing of consequence."

"Lucidity," he began in warning, but that was enough to cause her frame to sag in defeat.

Finally, she looked at him. "Do you really want to know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! As tentatively promised, a new chapter! I hope you all enjoyed, cliffhanger and all! 
> 
> I'm still not as far ahead in the next couple chapters as I'd like to be. It's been a process, one I've been slowly working through. Please hang in there with me! Thank you all so much for your patience!


	28. Chapter 28

"Yes!" the daiyoukai said, only to pause at his own volition; he had not anticipated such a reaction. As always, only with Lucidity, would he ever want to learn something so personal of another; she would not have his favor otherwise. 

"So you claim," she said, then inexplicably raked a hand through his hair, nails dragging along his scalp. It was a sensation that both confused and brought him to attention. "Do not say I'm ungrateful," she continued. "Don't say that I should be more understanding or forgiving, because I've heard it all. Got it?" 

He was even more bewildered now, but found himself inclining his head; the movement had the muscles of his neck pulling against the grip she had on his hair, which he ignored, for the time being. 

"Why do you believe I was a baby when my mother left?" 

He blinked, frowning. "Is that not what you said?"

She shook her head. "I said my mother left me with my father and took off, but I never mentioned how old I was."

"Then why would you have me believe otherwise?" he demanded. "Why the deception?"

The glare she shot him would have caused a lesser youkai to flee for fear of death. And even in her nudity, her anger was fierce as she leaned close, a sharp finger scraping across his chin. "I never deceived," she said in a hard voice. "You assumed. And you've been so hotheaded when it comes to the subject of Inukimi that I didn't see the point in correcting you over something so small."

"Very well," he said, a growl reverberating low in his throat. "Then correct me now. How old were you?"

"Not much younger than Rin," said Lucidity. "That's the big secret, all right? My mother told me I was going to spend a few days with my father, even though it was earlier than usual for one of our visits, but I was too excited to care. She dropped me off with an overnight bag and didn't come back for almost a year."

Not long after Asami had been born, Lucidity had told him how it was not unusual for children in her era to be raised between two households, visiting one parent, and then the other. The concept was nothing more than an enigmatic tale to the daiyoukai, and it sounded as strange and absurd to him as metal creatures that could carry people across the world through the sky. Not once, though, had Lucidity ever mentioned that she'd been one of these children. And only now did he realize that she had never spoken about her childhood in depth, simply in passing. How was it that he could know so little about this woman, after all this time? What was more, how could he have not even noticed?

But even as he came to this unwelcome revelation, he found himself questioning a single, minor detail. "A year?" he asked.

Lucidity leaned back, scrutinizing him with narrowed eyes, then nodded. "It became her thing, coming and going as she pleased, contacting me when it suited her, and it wasn't unusual for her to disappear without word. More than once, she made promises of coming to see me and I would spend hours staring out a window, waiting, before I accepted that she'd lied. I eventually stopped believing she wanted anything to do with me...or that she even cared." 

His initial impulse was to scoff, to remind Lucidity that such a pitiful creature was not worth her consideration, until he recalled her absurd belief to expect disappointment. Her mother had been the one to impart such a lesson, and it appeared that more than her abandonment had contributed. That it should infect Lucidity's way of thinking, enough to interfere with his union with her, was more than vexing. And he, Sesshomaru, was...uncertain of how to respond.

"Why have you never said anything?" he eventually asked.

"Why would I?" muttered Lucidity in return. "It's never been relevant." 

"You've made a fool out of me!"

"You did that just fine on your own!" she snapped. "You didn't need any help from me." 

His reaction was instant, impulsive, as he shoved her off him and onto her back. The fur of the mokomoko was all that separated her from the rocky terrain of the lake's bank as he loomed over her, his hair falling forward to shadow both their faces, and hands grasping tight to her shoulders. He could taste her aroma sharp in the air, yet went no further. A powerful youkai lord he might have been, but, in this moment, he was weak in his uncertainty. He did not know where to place to his anger. He was furious, yes, but he didn't know whom to be furious with. Lucidity or...himself? And Lucidity was staring up at him, silent and still, the only movement the cadence of her chest as she took slow, steady breaths. She wasn't nervous, and nor did she appear to be upset, but merely watched him, waiting. Not a word was spoken as he touched the back of his claws to her cheek. It was tempting to seize her, to force her to see that she was being the fool. But he was the one who saw now, the one who was forced to realize, infuriating though it was, how wrong he'd been.

"Your first trial," he said, "was your mother's betrayal." His gaze followed the movement of her throat as she swallowed, and the tips of his claws traced the outline of her jaw. "Who else knows?"

"No one," she said. "Not even Sango or Kagome." 

Somehow, he was not surprised, but it was no less satisfying to learn that he was the only person she'd revealed her past to, if in part. His thumb brushed over her bottom lip, fingers curled beneath her chin. "Is there more?" 

She swallowed again and ran a hand over her face, then into her hair, giving the locks a subtle pull, as she turned her head to the side, revealing a line of bare throat in the process. "Why?" she mumbled. "What do you want to know?" 

His claws slipped further down, to trail along the side of her neck. "Everything," he answered, and felt her pulse jump beneath his touch. But here he drew his hand away and knelt up, lest he lose complete focus. Lucidity frowned up at him in confusion. Though, for what reason, he didn't know; she had already refused him this night. Why would she expect him to continue? "Tell me," was all he said in the end. 

Her brow furrowed and she looked away again, down this time, and suddenly reached for his hand. He didn't stop her as she brought it to her lips, kissing his palm, before nuzzling her face into the curve of his fingers. He allowed it, even if the warm breath against his skin distracted him. "I don't...remember much of my childhood," she said. "And what I do remember, not much of it is pleasant." 

"Do you not wish to tell me?" 

She didn't answer, but glanced up at him and, for some inexplicable reason, shifted her head so that her mouth came to rest against his thumb. Her lips parted and she let out a heavy sigh, her scent growing stronger, and he felt the caress of her breath down to his bones, ensnaring his senses and ensuring his coherency was little more than brittle glass. And the aroma of her.... The daiyoukai closed his eyes, as if casting the vision aside would have been enough. Yet it was a mistake, as he became all the more aware of her presence beneath him.

"Lucidity," he began, only to to feel his palm being pressed to something warm and soft. His eyes sprang open and followed the trail of his arm down to the mound of her breast where she had laid his hand. It was his turn to swallow, carelessly caught by surprise as he was. He wanted to speak, but his voice was lost somewhere beneath this tide of arousal that had swept in. And when she eased herself upright, still holding his hand against her, and took hold of his nape to drag him towards her, it never occurred to him to put a stop to it.

"Women are notorious for changing their minds," she said. "You'd best take advantage before I change it again."

No, he shouldn't. There was a reason why he shouldn't. There was a reason why he shouldn't allow her to kiss him, why he shouldn't enjoy the taste of her mouth or the touch of her tongue between his lips. But that reason was quickly slipping away from him as he laid her back onto the ground, into the contours of his mokomoko. He gently squeezed at her breast and brushed a thumb over her nipple, listening to her moan and feeling himself respond.

But as he leaned down and kissed her, he could feel the weight of his armor like no other. An encumbering thing it was, at times; perhaps one that was unnecessary. He did not care for having to push himself upright, to take even a moment to remove the sash and swords so that he might be able to reach the straps of the armor, to lift it away and toss it aside, all the while with Lucidity so bare and exposed, her attention unwavering, and his need for her rising at the mere sight of flushed cheeks and full, heaving breasts. That he could deny himself of her for so long was astonishing, when he wanted nothing more than to sink his fangs and body into her.

The stolen time in the palace had been too long ago, too brief, more dream than reality, and the sound of his own frustrated growl was strange to his ears as he urged her legs apart, a hand on either of her inner thighs. Yet he paused, even as the scent of her invaded his mind, and took in the wet, glistening contours of her sex. Truly ready for him, she was, shivering when he ran so much as a finger over her. Was it not suitable that he wanted more from her, that he wanted her swollen and dripping, that he wanted to taste her while she writhed for him?

He heard his name being whispered when he lowered himself to the ground. Doubtless she was confused, at least until he brought her legs over his shoulders in a position she knew well. He felt the familiar tug of fingers in his hair before he covered her folds with his mouth and she gave a shuddering moan. Her flavor rushed over his tongue as he pushed it inside her. A quick taste, a taunting caress, that had her gasping, her hips rising just so before settling back down. But it did not take long to have her lifting her hips again. She was his to command, once he found her knot of pleasure, and he tasted her at his ease, hands gripping loosely to her thighs. Fingers pulled at his hair once more as she groaned his name, her heels pressing into his back. And he pressed his mouth harder against her in return, his tongue caressing her knot in such firm, determined strokes that gave no pause. Her voice rose higher, her movements growing less restrained, until her cries finally hit their crescendo and he was unexpectedly holding tight to her hips as she bucked beneath him, his mouth latched to the throbbing heat between her legs. And he didn't release her, refusing to give her that reprieve, even as she yanked at his hair and her nails nearly tore into his skin before the hard grip suddenly disappeared.

"Stop, stop!" she gasped. "Please, Sesshomaru! Stop!"

His eyes darted up and he took in the arch of her body, the silhouette of her taut stomach, how she clutched at the mounds of her own breasts in a frustrated ecstasy that earned her one last swipe of his tongue before he granted her wish and drew his mouth away. She collapsed into a gasping mess, her entire frame heaving with each erratic breath, only to jerk with a soft cry when his teeth closed over the lips of her sex, rubbing the sensitive skin together. And then he let her be, absently licking at his mouth, and listened to her whimpers, her attempts to catch her breath, and the thundering beat of her heart. He felt the discomfort of his own desire, but waited a moment longer, allowing her to recover, while he laid his head against her stomach, content to listen.

And he immediately went still, going so far as to hold his own breath, wondering if he had misheard or imagined the sound altogether. However, he was not one who was prone to imagination. And what was there to mishear? He'd never come across anything quite like this rapid echo that filled his ear. There was no comparison, nothing but....

The daiyoukai pushed himself up and moved until he was kneeling over Lucidity, a hand coming to rest beside her head. She blinked slowly at him, as if to determine if he was truly there or not or not. Her gaze came into focus only after he slid his other hand between her breasts as he had done so often in the past. He could feel it, the pulse beneath his fingers, strong in its rhythm, but not quite as fast as what he'd heard. Was it possible?

"Sesshomaru?"

His eyes shifted from Lucidity's stomach to her face.

"Is something wrong?"

Should he tell her? Would she believe then? Or would she continue to question what she desperately wanted to be true? That was what she had said, after all, more than once; but she also could not accept the truth at face value. She would rather expect disappointment, because that was her experience. The experience of having a disappointment for a mother.

_"...she was someone you trusted, and she broke that trust. Whether you are close to her or not, that is not something that is easy to recover from."_

He closed his eyes at the memory. It wasn't him she had been talking about, not precisely. And now he had to think, had to question, at everything else she had told him or mentioned in passing. What shadows lurked behind her words? What had she hidden from him? And why hadn't she trusted him with her secrets, however small she believed them to be? Was it a shortcoming of hers or had he, somehow, not gained that trust, in spite of everything?

"Sesshomaru?" 

No, he would not tell her. This was a reality that she would learn to face. But as for learning to take him at his word, that was another matter. Her fears, her doubts, would take more time to address. Somehow, this would be put behind them. Somehow, she would learn. Yet even as he closed his mouth over hers and eased himself on top of her, he was doubtful of how to teach her this lesson. And as he shifted his hand between them to loosen his hakama, he wondered what else was needed, how he might convince her. Beyond the words and actions he had already taken, what more did she need? And when he pressed himself against her moisture, he knew that carnal satisfaction would not be enough. And even with her voice punctuating the air with little moans as he filled her, he knew that she would be left wanting. 

What more could be done? 

Was it the lack of answers that had the daiyoukai gathering her to him? An aggravation that caused him to lean back on his heels and drag her legs around his waist? There was a twisting knot in the pit of his being, as his hips lifted her and his claws dug at her, that he could not quite place. Was it that he wanted more than what she could give? Or did he demand what she was not yet willing to yield? The mere thought that she would not surrender had his hips snapping upward, forcing a hoarse grunt from her lips.

But no sound was as succulent as the cry that broke from her when his mouth clamped to her throat and his teeth pierced her skin. He could hear the pain in her voice and the pleasure in her breath, with his organ splitting her and his fangs bleeding her. He could feel her sex constricting and her jugular pulsating, beating beneath in his lips in the same instance. Never had he bitten her in so dangerous an area, so sensitive a spot. And how she moaned for him! Whimpering and squirming in his grasp, her hips meeting his in a mad rhythm of passion and her blood draining down his throat, a fire unto itself that drew no feral beast to the surface this time. There was only a youkai lord, who took his woman with a near mindless abandonment, feeling her cling to him, as though desperate to find some hold in this world. And then he gave a final thrust, pulling her tight against his body, her blood so hot, his fangs almost too deep, and groaned as he reached his completion. 

* * *

The first hint of dawn was cresting the distant hillside, a thin strip of sky that lightened the horizon. It threw the figure of the dragon into deeper shadows from where Sesshomaru stood in the lake, the cold waters lapping at his navel and lower back, and the mokomoko draped over his shoulder to float around his frame. He gazed absently at the beast that had followed their trail yet again, having no understanding over its motives and only a vague curiosity to learn. Was it infatuated with the Guardian who had saved it? Or was there some debt it sensed that must be repaid? And as he, once more, began to question Lucidity's desires as to why she even entertained the creature, he quickly pushed the thought aside in favor of more urgent matters. 

How did he proceed from here? 

He was at a loss of how to deal with this woman. Few words had passed between them since he had unlocked his jaws from her throat and made an attempt to clean the mess he had made of her. Blood had been smeared over her neck and down her chest, some rivulets even gliding down her back and into her hair. His tongue could not reach it all and it wasn't long before Lucidity had pulled away, muttering about being forced to bathe again, and then disappeared into the lake. And by "disappear," that meant she did not surface for some time. If Sesshomaru had not witnessed firsthand what she could do with the waves of an ocean, he would have seen reason to go in after her. However, he had remained on the bank, staring out across the lake, fully dressed, with exception to the swords and armor, and waited. Waited so long that he questioned if she intended to resurface at all. But she had, across the distance beneath the falls, where she had yet to move from the rocks, the water beating down on her and the misty spray surrounding her. And, eventually, the daiyoukai conceded to join, if only to retrieve her, if she was amenable. 

It was after he had stripped the clothes from his person and stepped into the water that the dragon had arrived. And here Sesshomaru continued to stand, staring at the beast and questioning his pursuit of the woman who was as obstinate as he. Never would he cast her aside, though, regardless of her stubbornness, of her absolute refusal to see sense. And so he trudged on, wading into the water until it rose to his chest, his neck, and finally he set out with broad, powerful strokes of the arms into the depths of the lake. He dove beneath the surface, his mokomoko being dragged after him, with only a vague interest in being clean of the grime of travel and the blood of battle. And when his head broke the surface, he was closer to the falls and quickly reached the rocks, smooth and worn from so many years of abuse under the rushing flow of water.

Lucidity rested here, forehead pressed to the knees she had drawn up, her form clouded by the mist. She sat directly beneath the cascade of the falls, hair plastered to her back and arms, quiet and unmoving, but only until he stepped into the shallows that the rocks surrounded and was able to stand upright. She straightened, the water flowing around her face, rather than a bowed neck and shoulders, before leaning back into the niche behind the fall, not unlike the one in the village she favored to conceal herself in. Sesshomaru recalled the first time he had glimpsed her disappearing into those shadows, the day of the festival over a year ago when he'd caught sight of her bathing from a distance. In this niche, however, there was space enough that he was able to sit down beside her, his back against the wet wall of chilled stone, and laid the sodden mass of the mokomoko along the rocks on his other side. He peered out at the water that poured into the lake, listening to the endless current of what could easily become a force of destruction if given the right circumstances. 

"I wish for us to speak," he said. There was no response beyond the sound of her shifting. "You and I have business we must tend to, but we must come to terms if we are to continue with our work." 

"And what do you propose to do?" she asked, voice soft and unchallenging. 

"This Sesshomaru does not know," he admitted. "That is why I ask you. You are unhappy with our arrangement." He paused, but she said nothing, made no sound, and he looked at her then. She was perfectly still, gazing at the waterfall without truly seeing it. "What would you have of me?" he asked for a second time.

Her eyes lowered. "Am I being unfair?" came the soft murmur. "You're trying, in your own way. But it takes you so long to finally come round and talk to me that by the time it happens, I expect the worst." A heavy sigh broke from her and she pushed a hand into her hair, turning her head from him. "That...that is my fault, assuming the worst. Even if I'm afraid, I just...I'm imagining what isn't there." 

"You learned to be cautious at a young age."

She let out a snort and suddenly leaned back against the wall, arms settling across her lap, as she stared up at the canopy of water. "That's a nice way of putting it. The more I blame my childhood, though, the more of an excuse it becomes."

"And yet it allows me to understand your irrationality," said Sesshomaru, and Lucidity looked up at him, blue eyes wide with surprise. "Did you think I would not?"

"Yes," was her candid answer. "Too many people have told me that I'm the one who should be understanding, that it isn't easy for a young and single mother to raise a child alone and that I should be grateful that she was able to keep me for so long. People make mistakes, but she's your mother and you should forgive her, as if giving birth automatically makes a woman some sort of saint. Gods be damned, I hate people," Lucidity added in a bitter undertone. "None of them know...."

"Nor do I," said Sesshomaru. "You have kept your secrets long enough from me, Lucidity."

"So...I tell you these so-called secrets," she began as she turned from him, "and we talk, we come to some sort of resolution so that we go about our lives in relative peace. And then something else crops up that will cause us to argue. You will refuse to speak with me. I'll scramble and worry and confront you. We'll fight, we'll fuck, and nothing will ever change."

His claws scraped against the rock he sat upon as he shifted to face her, the dull roar of the waterfall resonating in his ears. "Is there a point to these ramblings?"

"We can't keep doing this," Lucidity said without raising her head. "We can't keep having these same arguments over and over. Something has to give, before we end up resenting each other."

"I do not resent you, woman," he stated.

"But I could resent you," she interrupted. And though she spoke so quietly that a human would not have been able to hear over the pounding falls, the words rang clearly for the daiyoukai. "You keep me at a distance; you always have. I expect the worst, probably when I should not, but you don't make it easier to believe otherwise. It isn't until I leave-or at least threaten to-that you will finally deign talk to me. Just...talk to me! Dammit! Why is that so hard?!"

"Is it no more difficult for you to speak of your childhood?" asked Sesshomaru, and saw her blink several times before she peered up at him, a troubled frown on her lips. "Change is not easy," he continued. "Not for either of us, it appears. We have both made mistakes." 

"The same ones," she muttered, lowering her gaze once more. 

"Indeed." 

"Do you think we'll ever learn from them?" 

"If we possess any measure of intelligence, there is the possibility." 

"Before it's too late, I hope." 

A silence fell between them, one that Sesshomaru was unwilling to break. He did not care for her choice of words, nor the lingering truth behind their meaning. If he and Lucidity carried on as such, their union would end on spiteful terms, as it had nearly done in the past. Had they gleaned so little over the last year? It seemed a ludicrous notion, and yet here they were, having a discussion that was not wholly unfamiliar. The daiyoukai closed his eyes, letting out a heavy breath through his nose, jaw clenched tight in frustration. It was as she had said: something must give. But what? 

A press of warmth had him glancing over to find that Lucidity had laced her arm through his and was leaning against his side. He peered down at the top of her head, at the golden crown of hair that had taken on tints of brown for the autumn season. Perplexed but not displeased by this development, he watched as she traced her fingers over his wrist, pausing at the faded bruises, then turned his hand over to touch his palm. More specifically, she touched the Mother's mark, dragging a nail lightly over the scar tissue. His eyes followed the movement as it repeated, once, twice, and before long he lost count, becoming lulled by the repetition of her caress. His eyes fell shut, and he went so far as to lower his head against hers. He thought about nothing, cared about little beyond this place behind the falls, and simply allowed his mind to drift. 

"You...really renounced your title, didn't you?" 

It was with reluctance that he opened his eyes, blinking until his surroundings came into focus, and he had to refrain from sighing. "Yes," he breathed into her hair, only vaguely curious about what had prompted the abrupt question. "And lands." 

The fingers stopped in the center of his palm. "Lands?" she echoed. "But...with Inukimi locked away, what about your territory?" 

"What of it?" 

"Won't other youkai fight to claim it?" 

"Once word has spread, I would assume so," he answered. "I was aware of the consequences before I made my decision, Lucidity." 

Without warning, she pulled her head out from under his and he found himself staring at a pair of blue eyes riddled with a turmoil he considered unnecessary. "But your father established this territory," she said. "And the empire you wanted...you're really abandoning all of that?" 

"Yes," he said again, a sense of impatience settling over him. "Did you not understand the implications when I first told you?" 

She shook her head. Yet if it was in answer to his question, he didn't know, as she clutched his wrist and hand to the point of discomfort, the action unconscious, it seemed. "What about being bound by duty as a leader?" she asked. "Didn't you tell me we have less freedom than most? Why would you-" 

"I have chosen what is more important, Guardian," he growled. "Did your predecessor not do the same when she relinquished her mantle?" 

Lucidity's grip loosened, her lips parting, as the last of her protesting questions apparently faded from her tongue. He held her gaze with a frown, bewildered by the confusion that lined her face, as a shaft of rising sunlight pierced through the water and steadily pervaded the niche. The mist of the falls caught these rays, casting a shower of ethereal colors along the walls and both their bodies, and it created such a strange, little world inside this tiny space. The moisture of the air clung to their skin, and his eyes could not help but follow the trail of drops that ran down the pale throat of the woman beside him, creating thin rivulets over her collar bone. His gaze lingered on the small puncture marks near her jugular, compliments of his fangs, until his hand reached up and covered the imperfections. His thumb brushed over the line of her jaw, inciting the barest quiver of her bottom lip.

"I don't know what else you want of me, Lucidity," he rumbled, and she drew in a sharp breath. But then her lips clamped shut, her frame sagged, and she released that breath with a dry sob. Baffled, he could only watch as she leaned her forehead against his arm, felt her hands tremble, and listened to the low moan that followed. It seemed as if something had broken, something that had always been present, even when she had lost all composure back on Avalon. Her nails scraped along his chest, digging into the skin, when she suddenly reached for him, face still hidden against his arm, and another pitiful noise rose from her. With his hand still on her neck, he forced her head back with a firm push that she didn't struggle against. Yet her eyes remained downcast as an almost imperceptible hint of salt invaded his senses; though, with her face soaked in droplets that trickled over her skin, he could see nothing of the tears.

And what other choice was there, but to cover her mouth with his own? He did not understand what had so undone her in this moment or why she clung so fiercely to him. But the reason, or lack thereof, didn't matter as his arm snaked around her waist and he lifted her to him so that she straddled his thighs. He was met with no resistance and, in fact, felt her mouth open for him. He tasted her lips, her tongue, the quivering breath that escaped her lungs in soft, shallow gasps. She sounded as though she was weeping and, with that scent of salt in the air, he had few doubts as to the truth of that assumption. But still she kissed him, feasted on him, as her hands slid over his back, fingers becoming tangled in his silver strands. And he clutched hard to the back of her neck, holding her there, their teeth knocking together, and she arched against him, rising some inches from his lap. Their mouths parted, if only slightly, and he felt the minute quaking of her frame, heard that shuddering breath, as if she was too tentative to draw in a proper lungful of air. 

"I wish you wouldn't," she whispered suddenly, her nails pressing at his spine, lips moving over his. "I would rather you keep your empire, and that I could give up mine." 

"You cannot," he said.

"I know, I know," came her low, defeated groan, and he smelled a fresh wave of saltwater, more potent than the last. "I'd have to become mortal, abandon the other Guardians, push my mantle onto others. I could never do that...I couldn't...."

He heard the beginnings of another sob slip from her, before her tongue was unexpectedly forced into his mouth and her hands slid up to the sides of his face. There was strength in her touch, a silent command in how she clutched at him, and she moaned. Wept and moaned and kissed him with a fervent need he could not understand, but wouldn't refuse. And as her hands combed into his hair, he moved his mouth down her chin, then lower to lick at her throat. The puncture wounds were already closing and he tasted no blood as his fangs grazed the skin and both arms now took her by the waist, bringing her closer.

And she suddenly rose up onto her knees, hands buried deep in his hair, and he felt the curve of a breast against his cheek. He turned his face and she shivered when his mouth closed over her nipple. His tongue flicked at the flesh that was already hardened and contracted before his teeth settled into place and gently pulled. Her moan was sharp in his ear and she tugged at his locks, then pushed herself closer. He did it again, filling his mouth with her breast, ever mindful of his fangs, and listened to her sighs and gasps, felt her shudders, the jolts that threatened to break her from his grasp. But she never drew away, allowing him to torment one nipple, then the other, sucking and lapping until the skin was darkened and the barest twist of the tongue or teeth had her squirming. And when his eyes darted up, he saw nothing but that bare and exposed throat with her head tilted so far back, face lost from sight. Yet, as if sensing his gaze, she brought her head up and looked at him. He took his mouth from her breast, his arms gliding down her legs, and he squeezed at her thighs, then higher at the smooth muscles of her backside. 

She lowered herself then, slow, careful, and the feather-light brush of her sex along his aching arousal had his claws threatening to pierce her skin as he dragged her forward and reached between them. For the first time, however, she resisted, taking hold of his wrist and pulling his hand away. She didn't say a word, but shook her head and returned his hand to her waist, then eased herself against him, her mouth catching his in yet another embrace. Again, her movements were slow, her tongue caressing his lips, seeking entrance it seemed. But when he opened for her, he merely felt the nip of teeth on his bottom lip, a tentative suckling, and hands roaming his shoulders, arms, and eventually his chest. And then it was her mouth moving over him, exploring his chin, his throat, before he felt hot breath against his ear and stiffened in shameful surprise.

"Lucidity," he murmured, but she only silenced him with another kiss, more demanding than before, shoving him back against the wet stone, every curve of her body molded to his. He gripped her tight and made no attempt to stop her when her mouth descended onto his throat once more. Teeth and tongue, a hard bite that had his jaw clenching. She created an abused trail of flesh up to his ear that was soon subjected to the same treatment. Grunts escaped the daiyoukai, heavy breaths that shielded the noises that wanted to crawl out of him. And he would have thrown her down, would have taken her as he desired, if she had not...so overwhelmed. Nails were scraping along his scalp, pulling at his hair, and he felt no sense of discomfort, only a sweet tension that heightened everything else she deigned to do to him.

And as his eyes fluttered open and shut, repeatedly so that the niche slid in and out of focus, he realized that he was the one trapped here, under her control. He was the one who yielded, who allowed himself to be so exposed. He should have fought, should have refused, but feeling her against him, her mouth gliding over his collar bone and her hands on his stomach, he knew he wouldn't. What was more, he didn't want to. He was content to sit here, to let her do as she pleased, and his groan was long and deep-satisfied, in a way-when she finally touched him. It was he who was tilting his head back, exposing his throat, as her fingers played over his rigid organ. His hips rose, but she didn't grasp hold. He felt the light trace of her nails and nothing more. Up and down, the caresses were teasing, even when her fingers circled the tip. And then she flicked it, and his hips jerked, a snarl breaking him, and he grabbed her by the waist, this time completely intent upon flinging her down and-

The hot moisture of her sex pressed against him, just as her mouth latched onto his, and the daiyoukai stiffened, the growls resounding throughout his chest. But her hips were moving, rolling against him, and he could feel those nether lips soaking his organ. And her hand held him there, pushing him into her warmth, and he was stimulated from either side. And he suddenly became aware that he was groaning, as her hips moved in a familiar dance, the strokes strong, determined. Her moans were filling his mouth and he felt how she rubbed herself against him, knew what she was doing to that knot of pleasure between her thighs. And he wanted to feel her, all of her, to penetrated deep and hard, and yet couldn't bring himself to shatter this embrace, or the heat that was rising between them.

Faster she was moving, louder she was becoming, until her mouth slipped from his and he could hear those breathless moans unencumbered, along with his own harsh grunts before he clenched his teeth. Her cheek was against his, a hand on his shoulder, the other still clutching his organ against her swollen folds. She was starting to shiver, her voice growing strained, and the tension was building low in his stomach, his own breath quickening. And then, without warning, she lifted her hips away. His claws scraped along her back in a fruitless effort to keep her in place, and she gasped, her hand still gripping his organ, and impaled herself on him.

The back of his head struck the wall, but he barely took notice. Her arms were around his neck, their lips and tongues battling once again, his claws digging at her backside. But she was the one thrusting, her hips rolling against his, and her tight heat squeezed him in a maddening, almost brutal order to be pleased. And he was becoming lost, swept up in these commands that he did not truly comprehend, his mind reduced to nothing beyond the desire of flesh and completion. And then she was crying out, her pace faltering, as he felt her walls spasm and contract around him, as this brief embrace pushed her over the edge, and ultimately dragged the daiyoukai right along with her.

* * *

Sesshomaru was panting. With his head resting against Lucidity's chest, he did what he could to get his breathing under control. He was not irritated as he once would have been, to be so soundly defeated, to know that she could so easily conquer him with the wiles of pleasure. He couldn't find it in himself to care, as she held his head to her, her cheek laying on his crown of hair. Now and then she would make some sort of noise, a soft sigh or moan, tighten her grip or squeeze him as she pleased, which elicited a muffled grunt from him each time. He was still inside her, letting the last of his arousal slowly drain, his limbs languid and body heavy.

Before long, however, he felt the brush of lips against his forehead, a brief pressure, until hands slid across his face and tilted his head back. Those lips moved along his brow, then down to touch either lid of his eyes before finally settling onto his mouth. She kissed him with the same air of lethargic contentment that plagued the daiyoukai. And his mind was so awash with the aftermath of ecstasy that he barely noticed when her lips shifted again, this time settling against his ear.

"I love you," she whispered. "No matter what."

With another grunt, he drew back and met her gaze, a solid and familiar blue that did not hide from him. The corners of his mouth pulled into a frown of confusion, even as he raked his claws through her hair and watched her lean into the caress. "No matter what?" he repeated, and she nodded. Yet when he continued to stare, she seemed to realize what he was after.

"You're old," she explained, causing his brows to quirk upward and his lips to press into a thin line. "You're stubborn, and you're set in your ways. As you said, change isn't easy for someone like you. I wish you would talk to me so I don't drive myself crazy wondering; but I should also trust you more and not expect the worst. You never would have done what you did, given up...everything, if you didn't care, if you didn't...."

"Idiot girl," he said softly as she fell silent, and her lips twitched. "Does this mean you intend to ask nothing more of me?"

She shook her head and the abrupt, sly smile that crossed her face gave him pause. "For now," she replied, "I can't really think of anything beyond asking for that sinful mouth of yours again."

Without thought, he reached up and caught her chin, bringing her closer and burying his nose into the curve of her neck. "Sinful," he echoed, before dragging said tongue up her throat to nip at her earlobe. She shivered and those walls clenched around him, forcing him to swallow a groan. "Your mouth is no different, woman," he managed to growl. "And I will have it again when I so desire. But I have had enough of your distractions."

"D-distractions?" she breathed.

"I told you that I wished to know everything," he reminded her. "And you have given me nothing."

"I will," she said, and suddenly twisted out of his grip and pulled back. "After we've seen what's happening down at the coast."

His eyes narrowed.

"I promise," she insisted. "I'll answer anything you want, but we really should be going."

With his hands on her hips, he peered over her shoulder at the falls and the glare of a the fully risen sun beyond the water. It was with reluctance that he admitted she was right. If not for the delay in fetching Jaken, and then recovering from the encounter with his mother, they would have arrived at their destination by now. He didn't stop her as she eased herself off his lap, their bodies disconnecting; yet, he caught her by the wrist when she stood and tilted his head back to meet her gaze.

"I will hold you to that promise, woman," he said, and she pursed her lips before giving another nod. However, when she tried to step away, he didn't let go. He saw her frown, along with a glimpse of her eyes widening when he abruptly wrapped his other arm around her waist and laid the side of his head against her stomach.

"Sesshomaru?"

He didn't answer. He merely wanted the confirmation, to know that he had not been mistaken earlier. And as he shifted his ear lower, there it was again, that distant echo of a rhythmic beat, faster than any he'd heard before. Lucidity spoke his name again, more tentative this time, and coupled the call with the brush of fingers through his hair. Finally, he gathered his feet beneath him and rose in an abrupt flurry of movement that seemed to startle Lucidity, who took a step back, only to be immediately dragged forward, his arm secure about her waist and his mouth seizing hers. Her noise of surprise was fleeting, as was the tension that soon seeped from her body, before her arms curled around his neck and she moaned softly against his lips.

If the daiyoukai had had any lingering reservations as she did, there were none after this moment. All his doubts were put to rest, now that he had heard the heartbeat of their child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last night, I actually had a dream where someone told me that all this sex takes away from the plot. I like to think it just adds more flavor to the story! XD But I promise there is a plot beneath all the sweat...somewhere. Hope you guys enjoyed Lucidity's little reveal. At the very least, I hope it explains some of her behavior. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for sticking with the story and the delay in updates! Sadly, this pattern will probably continue. I have, by no means, abandoned BoF! So, please, have patience. I will continue cranking out chapters; it will just take longer than usual.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP!! GO BACK!! 
> 
> If you read Chapter 28 prior to September 2nd, 2019, it has a new ending. While in the process of writing Chapter 29, I realized that the opening scene did not fit well and worked far better as an ending scene. That's what I get for posting a chapter when the next one has not been finished. But please enjoy and I apologize for any confusion!

Something had to give. 

That was what Lucidity told herself over the course of the day that eventually followed into next morning. As she, Sesshomaru, and the dragon traipsed across the countryside, she felt some reassurance. Cautious, of course, but she had more peace of mind today than she'd had in...well, in quite some time, apparently. Certainly before all this had started, she was sure. And whenever she began to wonder, began to question, she had to remind herself of everything that had happened with Inukimi, of what Sesshomaru had sacrificed, and immediately felt the fool...a very ungrateful fool. It made her want to spout apologies and ask him to forgive her at the most random moments. And each time she had to curb the impulse, lest she make a complete idiot out of herself.

In the end, she could only hope that this time it would somehow be different, that she and this proud, stubborn husband of hers weren't just making empty promises...again. He kept asking how he might make things better, earnest in his own way in repeating the question, because he didn't know how else to prove himself. And that was-when she really thought about it-shocking. Did it make her selfish, then, to demand more? To demand that he speak to her, explain himself? Sesshomaru was an asshole; she knew that long before she'd agreed to this whole marriage thing. Did that make her unreasonable when he acted, well, like an asshole? Honestly, she was so confused half the time that she welcomed the first glimpse of the village; perhaps getting back to work would clear her mind.

Lucidity had never seen a youkai village before. Satomi, though, had glimpsed those widespread communities that stretched over mountains and plains, at least until the human population grew more numerous than that of the dwindling youkai. Now only dregs remained. This particular dreg was orderly and secluded, carved right into the side of a mountain, which may attest to its survival. Pathways worn down by centuries of treading feet winded between an endless array of huts, the structures of which were created out of a mixture of wood and stone. The incline of the mountain was so steep that these homes appeared to have been built with one on top of the other, and gave the illusion of the village rising out of the very sea that lapped at the base of the mountain. And the tide must be out, if the barest trace of the sandy cove amongst the rocks at the bottom was anything to go by. Here the huts were more numerous, and also larger, with gaping mouths that opened out into the water and reminded Lucidity of a modern day garage. In this case, it was to house boats rather than the gas-powered invention that was centuries away from existence. 

She took all this in, along with the specks that were the villagers milling about, after she and Sesshomaru crested the mountain and peered down at the home of the Viper Clan. Everything was so...very strange. Even without the memories, she was more accustomed to youkai being wanderers or dwelling in caves, like Koga and his pack. Very few were like Inukimi with palaces. And a village of this size, perhaps with a few hundred or so occupants, and so organized in such a mundane way of life, was rare. A subtle noise of surprise slipped from her and she noticed Sesshomaru glance over out of the corner of her eye. 

"What is it?" he asked. 

"The Viper Clan has changed," she said. "They were more like a roaming, barbaric horde when Satomi was alive. I think some of them were only starting to settle by the time she died. Have the other tribes established places like this one?" 

"Most, yes," said the daiyoukai. "An odd and abrupt change."

"Satomi's doing, I would assume." 

Sesshomaru blinked, the only hint of his surprise, and shifted to fully face her. "Why?" 

Lucidity gave a small smile. "She killed too many of them to be ignored before she gave the Clan a choice: either stop wreaking havoc on the country or mass genocide." 

"A pity she allowed the snakes to choose," he said, peering back at the village. "Did you not say that the vipers had been devout to the East? Why would they hold their killer in so high esteem?"

"Eh," muttered Lucidity. "Respect for the strongest, and gratitude for being here. Satomi held their lives in her hand, after all. The Vipers and their descendants exist by her good graces, as you do because the Four Sisters spared your father." Golden eyes darted over to her, a crease between his brows. "Hard to imagine you have anything in common with the snakes, huh?" she added.

Sesshomaru scowled, a slight twist of the mouth that few could interpret correctly. If he intended to chastise her in some way, she would never know, as a noise from behind them cut their conversation short. Peering behind her at the sharp incline on the other side of the mountain, she spotted the dragon steadily making her way up, clawed feet scraping over the rough terrain and sending cascades of rocks into the shadowy crevices below. The stark white of the scales glittered under the sun as the dragon raised her head and let out a soft call that sounded more like a series of guttural whines.

 _"Complaining now, are we?"_ Lucidity replied, and the dragon gave another whine. _"I told you to keep up; we can't wait for you."_  

Jaws snapped and the dragon leapt, higher and faster than she'd believed possible. The wings expanded, carrying the creature for a brief spell, before she landed with a jarring crash feet from Lucidity and the daiyoukai, covering them in dirt and debris.

"Dammit!" Lucidity shouted aloud as she moved away, batting at her robes and glaring at the dragon. From beside her, she heard a low growl as Sesshomaru emerged from the small cloud of dust, shaking his hair out and raking claws through the silver strands. The dragon lowered her head and eased her snout against Lucidity, who frowned at the supposed attempt to apologize. 

"Get that beast under control, woman," said Sesshomaru as he wiped bits of rock from his face, to which Lucidity merely grunted. And when the beast in question nudged her, the daiyoukai glared at them both. 

"Oona, stop," murmured Lucidity, stroking the smooth scales of the snout. At the same time, she gazed down at the village, but heard nothing. No raised voices, no shouts of alarm. The people she could see dotted between the small buildings were blissfully unaware of her and the daiyoukai. How no one had noticed the dragon, though, was beyond her. 

"What did you say?"

At the sound of Sesshomaru's voice, she glanced over. "What? You mean 'Oona?'"

"You've named the beast?" 

The subtle note of incredulity was not lost on Lucidity, who simply shrugged. "She seems determined to stay with us, and she responds to the Guardian language. Why not give her a name?" 

Sesshomaru did the all-too-familiar gesture of sliding his arms within the sleeves of his haori, with an equally familiar cast of haughtiness in his expression. "I see no point." 

"You named _your_ dragon."

"Rin named Ah-Un." 

Lucidity sighed. "Well, Oona is not some mindless beast, nor is Ah-Un. And you will just have to put up with these idiosyncrasies from the women in your life." 

Sesshomaru was silent as he frowned at her, until a distant clap of thunder drew his attention to the ocean. Lucidity, too, peered out at the stretch of water that had no end and at the gray clouds that were slowly traveling towards the land. There was a flickering illumination of lightning, followed by another roll of thunder, marking the coming storm. How long until it was upon them? Not that getting wet really mattered to her, especially considering where she intended to venture today. But all the same, she did not need the distraction of crashing waves and crackling electricity darting over her head. 

"Let's go," said Sesshomaru, before he jumped from the ledge of the mountain crest and into the rows of huts below.  

Lucidity caught glimpses of his form between the structures as he walked the winding pathway deeper into this settlement of youkai, eventually coming upon the villagers. And there they were, those cries of alarm. Soft shrieks given by women-and quite a few men-and high-pitched screams from children, who appeared to know little in the way of social propriety and tore through the village, crying for anyone who may or may not be listening that the infamous son of Inu no Taisho was among their people. It occurred to Lucidity right then that there should have been a scout stationed somewhere. She and Sesshomaru were expected, probably long before now. Their arrival shouldn't cause such a shock. So, really, a scout should be here. Perhaps two. One to greet her and the daiyoukai and the other to announce their arrival. 

Caressing the dragon once more, she peered down into a great, golden eye. _"Stay here,"_ she instructed. _"And no eating anyone."_ A familiar reverberation rose from Oona and vibrated through Lucidity to her very bones. If it was in acknowledgement, she didn't know, but Oona did not attempt to follow when she made her way down into the village. 

Sesshomaru was already nearing what appeared to be the village square by the time she caught up with him. There was a large communal area, with a series of vast ramadas constructed of wood and straw. Merchants were scattered beneath the shade, selling or trading their wares. And Lucidity noticed that these vipers haggled for items that could easily be found amongst humans. Herbs, meat, fish, tools, weapons, clothes. She even spotted pearls being exchanged for what appeared to be a small catch of oysters. But then there was also the occasional oddity, such as a cluster of severed, shrunken heads that were indistinguishable as youkai or human. And when she moved closer, she heard the sharp squeals of an unknown animal and saw, between the throngs of shoppers and traders, what was possibly hyosube being butchered. And, indeed, beside the chopping block, she noticed an iron cage of more hyosube and a few other low-class youkai.

There was so much activity, so much energy from the collected crowd, and, with the din of so many voices talking and shouting all at once, it was deafening. And yet, with the panicked villagers rushing into the marketplace and more coming out of their homes, speaking quickly in their anxious excitement, a hush was slowly spreading through the sea of vipers. Heads turned towards her and Sesshomaru as voices fell silent. The butcher stopped his butchering mid-stroke, a bloody knife raised awkwardly in the air. The villagers stopped haggling, bartering, purchasing, perhaps even breathing. Hushed words were exchanged in the growing silence. Stragglers sprinted to join those congregated beneath the ramadas, leaving Lucidity and Sesshomaru to stand alone, side-by-side. Someone gasped, a pot shattered, but no one moved to step forward. No one dared to.

Dully, she wondered what the vipers must have smelled like to Sesshomaru, how great their stench of fear was, as she looked around. There was no particular face that she recognized. A few were vaguely familiar from their brief stint on the Isle, but she had no names to put to anyone. There had been hundreds upon hundreds of vipers who had sought refuge, others tribes who were not here; but she was not interested in speaking to anyone currently present.

"Where is Masami?" she asked the crowd. The youkai shifted, glanced at one another, but no answers were forthcoming. "Where is Masami?" she repeated sharply.

"They are of no use to us," said Sesshomaru. "Their fear of me is too greatly instilled."

"So, I really should have come here alone," Lucidity grumbled, turning from the mute crowd. "I'll find Masami on my own."

"W-wait!" called a trembling voice. "Wait, please, Lady Guardian!"

She cast a glance over her shoulder. An old woman had broken away from the others. Stooped with age and wobbling along with the aid of gnarled, wooden cane, this white-haired youkai startled Lucidity by struggling down onto her knees and letting the cane drop as she placed withered hands onto the dirt and touched her forehead to the ground. Lucidity was seized by the desire to pull the old woman back onto her feet, yet shifted closer to Sesshomaru instead, feeling the brush of his sleeve against her arm. And, little by little, the Viper Clan apparently managed to remember themselves. At first, only a few fell to their knees, then a couple dozen, then twice that, until every last youkai-female and male, young and old-was giving prostrated bows of deepest deference. 

"Our sincerest apologies, Lady Guardian!" someone called out. 

"We meant no offense!" 

"You have our undying gratitude for coming to our aid!" 

"Please forgive our rudeness!" 

It was difficult, not to rub at her temple, as the voices rose and fell. Endless apologies, professions of loyalty, humblest of thanks, echoed in her ears, a cacophony of noise that made little difference to her. She spared a glance to Sesshomaru and saw an equal measure of irritation around the tight muscles of his eyes. And then those eyes slid over to her and the flash of anger in their depths spoke well enough without words and made it clear, at least to Lucidity, that he wanted the vipers silenced. And the way his claws clicked together suggested he wanted it done by whatever means necessary. Without thought, she slipped her hand beneath his sleeve, out of sight, and gave a subtle squeeze to his wrist, before she left him to crouch down in front of the old woman. 

"Enough," said Lucidity, offering a hand. "Come on, get up. That's it. Everyone up!" And she stepped back upon lifting the old woman to her feet and returning the cane. The air was filled with people clambering to stand, still murmuring their gratitude, which Lucidity ignored as she asked, "Now, does anyone know where Masami is?" 

Again, there came the exchange of looks, soft voices carrying uncertainty, until the old woman finally spoke. 

"It appears that we are woefully ignorant of our leader's whereabouts."

That much was obvious. 

"We shall send a runner to search for him. There should have been someone posted to await-YOU!" the old woman unexpectedly barked, and pointed her cane at someone behind Lucidity, who turned to see a young boy, perhaps thirteen or so, stop dead in his tracks. He was sweaty and panting and so very pale that he looked as if he would pass out at any moment, especially when the old woman advanced on him. "Where were you?!" she shrieked. "You were supposed to be keeping watch for the Lady Guardian!" 

"I was only gone for a moment!" the boy proclaimed. "I've been standing watch all day, without a break. I just needed to visit the woods."

"You were off with that girl again!" shouted the old woman. "How can you be so irresponsible? You are an embarrassment to the family! Go make yourself useful and find our leader, before I skin you alive!" 

And even as the boy scrambled to obey, he did not escape unscathed, as the heavier end of the cane came swinging upward and smacked him upside the head. Lucidity silently marveled at the old woman's speed and accuracy, even mildly curious if she was experienced with a sword, and watched as the boy stumbled forward, regained his footing, and quickly disappeared into the crowd of onlookers. The old woman turned to her and gave another, low bow. 

"I must apologize for my grandson," she said. "He was supposed to be here for your arrival." 

A young boy, a mystery girl, and hours of boredom unsupervised? It made sense, and Lucidity managed a grin. 

"Would you care for something while you wait, Lady Guardian?" the old woman offered, gesturing towards the marketplace. "We have any assortment of teas to choose from. The choice of food is slim, I'm afraid. What is caught from the ocean is limited to what the tide brings in, as our boats have been unable to sail beyond the reef. We have had to resort to...less pleasant options," she added with an unsavory glance towards the hyosube. 

As the old woman spoke, there was an abrupt rush of activity as the people hurried to their stalls-or some to their homes-to fetch wares, eager to present offerings to the Guardian, before Lucidity could so much as form an answer. And even when she opened her mouth to speak, a movement directly behind her brought an immediate distraction, along with the weight of a clawed hand on her shoulder. The cool and familiar contours of Sesshomaru's armor were against her back as the old woman craned her head the better to look at the towering daiyoukai. 

"Given your history with the Guardian of the East, I expected the Viper Clan to be aware that she does not eat," said Sesshomaru, and Lucidity felt the deep timbre of his voice resonate through her, a matter she found...decidedly distracting. 

"Oh, yes," came the reply, a reminder that they were not alone. "We knew that of the previous Guardian, but were uncertain if the same pertained to her successor. You were born mortal, after all, my Lady," the old woman added, just as few vipers began to approach, hands full food and herbs. One carried a cup of tea with steam rising from it, and another had what seemed to be the roasted leg of a giant insect. 

While the old woman turned to her fellow villagers and announced that none of these offerings were adequate, Lucidity peered up at Sesshomaru, whose narrowed gaze was fixed on the assembled youkai. Yet at her movement, he shifted his attention to her. There was a tautness in his posture, in the fingers on her shoulder, and even the way he watched her. She could see his jaw working and would have reached up to take hold of his hand, if it had been possible; however, she was doubtful he would approve of such an open display. Being near her, keeping a hold on her, was how he alleviated himself from being in the presence of so many who had been enemy not too long ago. She was highly skeptical that he feared the Viper Clan, only that he did not trust them. 

A high roar drifted down from the mountain, carried on the currents of wind and torrent unto itself. Many of the vipers jumped in shock, heads whipping around, searching for the source. As she peered up at the dragon, Lucidity, again, wondered at their lack of awareness. Were they not youkai? Could they not smell intruders? Did they not have heightened senses or abilities? She thought of Koga and his pack. Warriors, hunters, the whole lot of them seemed to be. Had establishing a settlement somehow...domesticated the Viper Clan? 

The answers eluded her, but now was not the time to ask. Something was happening with Oona. Stepping away from Sesshomaru, she could see the wide spread of nearly-healed wings and the line of the dragon's back, turned away from the village as the creature was. Ooan's head was dipped low and Lucidity thought she could hear the distant snapping of jaws. And then she spotted movement on the ground, a figure darting around the dragon. 

"Oh no, is that beast yours?" came the soft voice of the old woman, and Lucidity glanced over at her with a frown and nodded. The old woman shook her head. "I'm afraid that is our hunting party up there." 

With a sigh, Lucidity started towards the mountain. She had hoped that having Oona remain out in the open, docile and unobtrusive, would make it obvious that she had not come here to eat. Apparently, Lucidity expected too much of people. Now she needed to get back to the top of the mountain and quickly before the dragon really did make a meal of someone. Yet before she could even take to the air, someone brushed past her and she was taken aback to see Sesshomaru walking ahead.

"Stay here," he said over his shoulder. "I will deal with the hunters." 

Lucidity stopped in surprised. "What? Why?" 

He gave no answer and the blank look he spared her was fleeting before he rose into the air. He cut an impressive figure across the sky as she watched him go, his form growing smaller the higher and farther he went, until she could have placed him and the dragon between a thumb and forefinger. He was using this as an excuse, she realized, to be spared the pleasantries of being in such close quarters in the village, surrounded by so many people. Whether youkai or human, it made no difference; Sesshomaru hated crowds.  

As did Lucidity. And though she had expected this sort of behavior, it did not make it any less awkward or irritating when the Viper Clan seemed to follow her as one when she moved away from the market. Some darted up to her, adults and children alike, and presented items of the non-food variety. Gems and trinkets, trophies taken from fallen enemies-usually a fang or claw or a furry hide of some unknown youkai-and pearls. Lots and lots of pearls. Lucidity declined them all, cursing herself for not leaving with Sesshomaru. The old woman hobbled along beside her, the only viper who remained so close, as she attempted to traverse through the village without much progress. Soon, she came to a stop and peered back up at the mountain, debating on simply discarding Sesshomaru's "offer" to handle the Oona situation without her.

And yet she saw his figure standing before the dragon, now settled and calm, and the group of perhaps four hunters assembled across from him. Lucidity squinted. Even with her keen eyesight, it was difficult to see much detail from so great a distance, a few thousand feet at least. And though she could not know if an argument was taking place, the lack of physical fighting was obvious, which meant she had no ready-made excuse to, well, excuse herself. 

And yet, did she need one?

She turned in a swift movement to face the vipers. Many appeared startled and gazes were cast to the ground when her eyes lighted upon them. The old woman even backed away, her head bowed like so many others. Was it really necessary to give these people a reason?

"Leave me," Lucidity commanded. 

Silence reigned. No one budged. She started to wonder if she should reiterate the order. Did it need more force, more authority? The first time she had dealt with the Viper Clan, they had essentially been enemies and she had handled them as such. But now she was uncertain. She was their ally, not their liaison to the son of Inu no Taisho. Should she not be cordial? Respectful? She was a guest here. Politeness was to be expected. Yet...she was not just any guest. She was the Guardian of the East, and it was the Guardian whom the Viper Clan revered, to the point of worship, and it was by their pleas that she had even deigned to visit. And she realized, as the youkai began to bow and shuffle away, never daring to make eye contact, that in this village, with these people, she was not seen as a simple woman, nor some mere wife of a youkai lord. To the Clan, she was the daughter of the Mother Goddess.

It was so easy to forget sometimes. Power. Status. Hierarchy. She had it. Even among the Guardians, she had it in spades. The only one she answered to, the only one she allowed herself to be held accountable by, was the same person who answered only to her. She looked at the mountain once more, at the daiyoukai still gathered with the hunters, and felt the smile creep across her lips. It was oddly...freeing, this small realization. If not for the burdens that came with her position, the mistakes she had made, she would have been euphoric in this moment. As it were, she curbed her enthusiasm, heaved a sigh, and continued on her way, at ease with the isolation that was now hers. 

The huts she passed were empty. No sounds of movements or voices could be heard behind closed doors. Word must have spread to everyone by this point, and it seemed as if the entire population of the village was back at the marketplace. With nothing impeding her progress, it was not long before she reached the shoreline and lingered at the edge of the cove. Curiosity was what drew her here, wondering what lay beneath those waters that drove an entire village of youkai to the safety of land. More specifically, she wondered how the youkai of the sea were able to persuade so many creatures to their cause.

Waves surged gently upon the rocks she stood upon. Boats swayed inside their individual docks and the echo of wood being knocked together reminded her of periodic tapping of bamboo fountains. The storm was still encroaching, and the infrequent claps of thunder were growing louder, as the crisp salt in the air stung the senses. The sun had been swallowed by the dark clouds that were reaching out towards the land, reminding her of an old, religious tale of the hand of a god covering the bright star and spreading darkness across an ancient civilization.

And she suddenly found herself impatient to set out, to put a stop to the source of what was plaguing the ocean. She could sense nothing of the Princes nearby, nor the dregs of the Underworld that they brought with them, which left her with the more mundane chore of hunting down the damn fish that believed themselves justified in their revenge. And so, lifting the hem of her robes until her ankles were bare, she stepped off the rock and into the ocean.

The sand was soft and warm and sank slightly beneath her feet as the water surged upward on either side of her, nearly as tall as she. With the beach on one side and the ocean on the other, Lucidity walked across the length of the cove, past the line of homes, the water parting with each step she took, spurred by a mere nudge of power. Sea basses, flounders, and other marine life swam close, and she even kicked a starfish back into the waves; but nothing more menacing than a stingray came near. As the old woman had mentioned, it was quiet here in the cove. Nothing of interest happened in the time it took Lucidity to cross from one end to the other. 

The side of the cove she had started from had been quiet with shallow, lapping waters that kissed the beach. On this side, however, where the mountain reached out towards the sea, these same waters had become loud, abusive waves that batted against the rough outcrop of stones. The cove was deeper here, too, and the water towered overhead when the Guardian's power held it at bay, casting the woman in shadow. The mist of the waves still managed to touch her, at least, and gave her the vaguest sense of being submerged, which she did not care for. Belong long, she lighted upon the rocks that formed the mountain's base, but continued to keep the waves from rushing up to meet her. With the pathway unobstructed, if not damp, she continued her trek around the mountain and away from the cove, with no clear destination in mind. She was not exploring, but was, in a way, curious about the area. Would her presence so close be enough to stir the ire of whatever was down there waiting? Or did she need to travel farther out to sea as all other land-dwelling creatures did?

If Thalia wasn't dealing with more pressing concerns, Lucidity had half a mind to enlist her help. No matter the domain, Thalia would always be the expert when it came to matters of the water and every being-animal or otherwise-that called this element their home. Perhaps she would be more deity than intruder to these youkai of the sea. If she and Sesshomaru had not successfully dealt with them by the time Thalia had searched her southern domain, Lucidity saw no reason not to ask for her help. However, the wars between mortals were not exactly issues that the Guardians concerned themselves with; not on such a small scale, at least. This was more personal than anything and Lucidity was doubtful if Thalia would be willing to bother. If it came right down to it, she could always order Thalia to-

A cry rent the air.

Lucidity stopped, bewildered, almost certain she had misheard, until the cry sounded again. Her first instinct was to glance up, wondering if she had somehow overlooked being directly below a series of huts; and yet, there was nothing but jutting outcrops above her. Behind her, she'd allowed her power to drop so that the water could continue on its natural course. And with her attention focused so closely on the sea, that left only one other option. She rushed ahead, moving higher up along the rocks, and severed her power altogether. The roar of the waves filled her ears. She could hear little else and realized that if the person called out again, their voice would be too muffled. It didn't matter, though; she'd already spotted the source.

The mouth of a cave stared back at her, the entrance a little taller than she was and with the sea level just barely reaching the lip. Pools of saltwater littered the entrance as she stepped in, peering around the dank and dreary scenery. Other than the privacy it offered, there was nothing terribly appealing about the place. And if the tide had been in, the cave would have been flooded. It really was a stroke of luck that she'd heard whoever was in here; the pounding waves were now so deafening, coupled by those sporadic rolls of thunder, that she could make out little else. The person, be them male or female, was quiet now. Or maybe...she really had been mistaken and the ocean was playing tricks on her. Yet she continued to wander deeper into the cave, weaving through rocks jutting out of the floor and ceiling alike, and away from the bit of sunlight that glinted off the damp walls. Someone could be in trouble. And, if not, it didn't hurt to double check. A person could have easily come here to be alone, but managed to get themselves hurt and, now, couldn't get out before the tide came in. Or perhaps-

They'd come here for something far more intimate that definitely required privacy.

Jerking to a halt, Lucidity gaped at the pair on the ground, so deep in the cave that little sunlight was unable to penetrate. Two torches, however, were burning bright, secured by stacks of stones, and added both light and warmth to the dampness. No matter what, she still  would have been able to see the ones who were stretched out upon the floor, their bodies sliding together along the furred blankets they had brought with them. With nothing but a pair of pants barely covering his backside, the man on top seemed to be devouring the one beneath him, kissing so heavily with hard, grunting gasps. And when he finally came up for air, she had a full and clear view of his partner.

"Masami?!"

The exclamation burst from Lucidity before she could stop it. The leader of the Viper Clan was frozen where he lay, gripping tight to the man above him, wide eyes fixed on the woman. It took all of a second for Masami to consciously register her before bolting upright, and promptly smacked his head into the jaw of his partner. Both males let out similar shouts of pain, Masami collapsing back and clutching his forehead, while the other rolled off him, writhing silently and holding one side of his face. Lucidity caught a glimpse of too much flesh and spun around sharply on her heel, hands clamped over her mouth and smothering a noise she most definitely didn't trust to be appropriate. Behind her, the men began to shuffle frantically. 

"Lady Lucidity! What are you-? I did not expect-! Dammit, Hidari! Where did you put my hakama?!" 

"You're sitting on them, Masami." 

Lucidity nearly drew blood, she bit down so hard on her lip, burning face buried in her hands and her shoulders shaking. She took a few determined steps in the general direction of the exit, but soon stopped. It would be better to let them have their privacy, but this was not the time for personal luxuries; she couldn't simply take off and wait for Masami to show his face in the village. She shook her head and straightened, sweeping a hand through her hair and listening to the men scramble and cast an occasional, awkward apology in her direction. Even so, soft curses flew back and forth between them and she felt a smile twitch her lips. 

"My Lady Guardian," came the breathless gasp as Masami stumbled into view a short while later, fully dressed, if not haphazardly. "Please forgive me. I did not realize you had arrived. A sentry was posted to-" 

"I'm aware," said Lucidity. "He's out searching for you now. I'm assuming you chose such an isolated place to avoid...potential embarrassment?" 

Masami's blush could have cooked an egg, it was so crimson, and the hand he ran over his face did little to hide the brilliant color as he turned his head away. In the meantime, Hidari had joined them, sliding a sword into place at his waist, his tangle of hair hastily tied at his nape. He, too, was flushed, but also scowling, even as he proffered a bow to Lucidity. 

"My Lady," he mumbled to the ground. "You say the sentry is looking for Masami?"

"She did," interrupted Masami, and Lucidity was surprised at the anger blooming in his expression. "Why don't you make yourself useful and let the people know that the Guardian is meeting with me? Immediately would be preferable, before the entire village attempts to track us down." 

Hidari, too, appeared to be taken aback and stared at his leader for several heartbeats, until his eyes narrowed a fraction. He gave the briefest incline of the head, then turned and stalked off, his movements punctuated with a subdued fury. 

"He will remind me of this later," came the soft, unhappy murmur from Masami, who seemed to remember himself only after Lucidity glanced over at him. "Ah! My Lady! As I said, please forgive me. Your arrival is most welcome, but it was not my intention for us to meet under such circumstances. I would not have allowed Hidari to persuade me if I'd known you were coming" 

"Don't worry so much, Masami," she said. "It took longer than I expected to reach your village. And, anyway, I was the one who was snooping around. But I...didn't expect to find you, well.... I would not have guessed your tastes leaned towards one of your most trusted warriors," she added with an amused smile. 

Masami blinked at her, his cheeks still stained pink. "It...does not offend you?" 

She shook her head. 

"My tribe knows of my relations," said Masami. "It is not taboo for us, but I have known few raised by humans who share similar views."

"Honestly, I don't care," she replied. "I'm only confused." 

"Confused?" he echoed. "You mean, why would we seek out this cave if we need not hide?" 

Again, she shook her head. "No, I know that it can be difficult for a leader to have privacy here. It's your behavior that confuses me." 

"My behavior?" 

"Back on the Isle, you-"

"Oh!" he exclaimed, and then suddenly belted out a laugh. "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Rarely am I inclined towards females. One or two in my life, perhaps; and, apologies, my Lady, attractive as you are, you are not one of them." 

"Fine by me," Lucidity said. "But I still don't understand. You seemed...interested. Or am I mistaken?" 

Masami smiled, his expression so open, so friendly, that she found herself considering the viper. This was the first time she could remember his ever being so relaxed. He was less like a leader in this moment and more like another face in the village. As she did in certain company, he projected the persona that was expected of him, an unwavering source of strength and reassurance for his people. If he displayed any hint of weakness or fear, it would lead to panic. It was difficult, sometimes, to remember that he was a simply person who did the best he could, just as she was.

"No, you are not mistaken," he said. "That performance was for Sesshomaru-sama's benefit." 

"Performance?" she repeated, bewildered. 

With his smiling widening into a grin, Masami folded his arms, amusement etched from his stance to the very lines around his eyes. "Sesshomaru-sama finds my very existence offensive and his treatment can become tiresome; I thought I might properly earn his wrath for once." 

Lucidity felt her jaw drop. "You _baited_ him?!" 

Masami chuckled and nodded. 

"You have a death wish!" 

"Not at all, my Lady," he denied. "I knew I was safe with you there. Otherwise, I would not have dared." 

Lucidity gaped, doing nothing to hide her shock. She never expected from someone as level-headed as Masami, who could use words alone to walk away unscathed from deadly situations, to do something so blatantly dangerous, to take such a risk! And yet he had. And as she stared at him, at the toothy grin that split his face, a sound that was almost alien to her ears burst from her. A long, deep laugh rose from her breast and wracked her body until she wrapped her arms around herself, head thrown back, her voice ringing through the cave like the pealing of bells. 

"You really are a manipulative bastard!" she gasped once she was able to regain some semblance of control, wiping tears away from the corner of one eye. Yes, he'd taken a risk, but it was a careful, calculated risk that had worked in his favor. "I mean that in a good way, but, gods be damned, Masami. If he ever finds out-" 

"He will then have reason to kill me, rather than a delusional slight," said the viper. 

Lucidity lost it all over again and it wasn't long before he joined her. Their laughter bounced through the cave, giving the illusion of an echoing chorus, so strange, and yet so wonderful. A fleeting reprieve it might have been, but Lucidity clung to this moment, shared with the most unlikely of people. It was different than when she was with Sesshomaru, more freeing, more relaxing than an orgasm somehow, to know that such humor could be found in small corners of the world. To think that all this time, he really had imagined Masami's interest in her, as opposed to Inuyasha, who still resented a certain wolf youkai for openly showing his affections towards Kagome.

And Sesshomaru was the one who called Lucidity presumptuous!

Breathing was becoming an issue, but she didn't wish to stop, even as she had to lean against the cave wall, feeling its rough surface through her clothes. She slid down, nearly to her knees, her stomach aching with the endless crowing of laughter, and cheeks growing wet with tears. It was not long before she heard Masami approach and finally drew in a deep breath in an effort to control herself, before glancing up to see the viper standing over her, his hand outstretched and a broad smile on his face.

"Come, my Lady," he said, still chuckling. "We can't keep the people waiting."

Though she continued shaking with mirth, she took the proffered hand and allowed him to help her up. Yet it was as she brushed off her robes that the last of her mirth died away, when the sound of footsteps reached her ears. If it had merely been footsteps, there would have been no need for concern. The aura, however, was unmistakable. And she had been so preoccupied that she hadn't noticed until now, his long stretch of fur trailing behind him as he came into view. Cold, narrowed eyes lighted upon her and Masami. And the bright flash of anger in those golden depths suddenly brought into sharp focus her close proximity to the viper. She yanked her hand free of his and quickly stepped away, but the damage was already done.

Sesshomaru came to a stop some yards away, his gaze shifting from Lucidity to Masami and back again. She saw the slightest curl to his nose and realized the accumulation of scents that must have been bombarding him, more specifically what must have lingered of Masami's arousal from coupling with his partner. Yet not even that could have prepared her for the smell that reached her own nose, the acrid stench that stung the nostrils and made the eyes water. Something was sizzling. Dripping, and sizzling. Slow at first, like the first showers of rain, until the flow began in earnest.

At his side, poison dripped from Sesshomaru's claws, striking the ground at his feet and burning into the wet stone, as he surveyed the two who had reveled in such amusement at his expense. His fury was palpable as he raised his hand in a display of flexing claws and cracking bones, his glare alone promising consequences more dire than the words he spoke.

"'If he finds out....'"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though it took a while to write, I had some fun with this chapter, especially the ending.


	30. Chapter 30

Masami screamed.

Lucidity, having caught herself on a jutting rock where Sesshomaru had shoved her out of the way to get at him, straightened and spun around. The daiyoukai had been restrained with her, but it did nothing to save Masami. Sprawled on the ground with such an imposing figure looming over him, the viper was so small, almost undignified while struggling to his knees, one hand pressed to the side of his face. Blood seeped between trembling fingers before he drew his hand away to stare at the crimson mess on his palm, and Lucidity could see four parallel gashes in his cheek. Not so deep as to expose bone, but the poison bubbled in the wounds, trickling down in a green froth stained red with blood.

"Sesshomaru, don't!" she called out when the daiyoukai moved a step closer to Masami, and that silver head turned towards her, golden eyes lit with anger.

"Get out of my sight, serpent," came the quiet order from Sesshomaru, though he kept his attention on Lucidity.

And it was Lucidity whom Masami looked at, as well, his expression clenched with pain, but eyes mutely questioning, as if concerned that she'd be unable to survive the wrath of her husband. She said nothing, albeit made a mild indication with her head that he should leave and he gave the barest of nods in return. If not for the brewing storm and crashing waves outside, the cave would be utterly silent as the viper clambered to his feet, hand against his cheek once more to stanch the bleeding. His gaze darted between her and Sesshomaru as he ambled past, but no one spoke a word, not until he was long out of sight.

"Did you have to attack him with your dokkaso?" Lucidity asked. "His face will be scarred."

"But he will live," Sesshomaru replied. "I am not so rash as to kill a leader of the Viper Clan, but he knows he has earned those scars. I won't suffer the insult of his games, and nor will I tolerate your sharing laughter with a snake at actions I have taken against him."

"Sesshomaru-"

"But I will deal with you later, Lucidity," he declared, sweeping past her in a brush of fur and kimono.

"Deal with me?! I am not-"

Whatever she was or wasn't fled her mind the instant she felt the hard, unforgiving pressure of Sesshomaru's fingers around her wrist. She barely managed to notice the pain before she was thrown over the very same rock a second time, its surface round and smoothed over by countless years of the ocean's tide. Heart pounding, the nails of her free hand scraped over the rock, trying to find a hold, trying to ease herself up. But Sesshomaru was already there, pushing down against her. Bent at the waist, she could feel the entire line of his body folded along her back and heard her bated breath, as though it was someone else who labored beneath the raging youkai lord, someone else who was having both wrists seized in a single, crushing grip that wrenched her arms behind her back. 

"What are you doing?!" she exclaimed. "Get off of me!" 

But his other hand was in her hair, yanking it up and jerking her neck to the side, and his fangs had her crying out, feeling the sharp clamp of them on her nape. She kicked out, her back arching, her own voice echoing in her ears. And yet for the life of her, she didn't know if her actions were even in protest.

"As I said," came the guttural voice, warm lips caressing the shell of her ear and causing her to jump, "I will deal with you later, woman. I do not care for the revolting stench that permeates these walls, nor more than I cared to see that creature touching you." 

"Fucking hell! He doesn't want me, Sesshomaru!" she shouted, squirming with all-the-more vigor. "He would sooner be attracted to you than to me." 

"I am aware of his preferences."

"Then why the hell are you so pissed just because he was helping me?!" 

"You belong to me," Sesshomaru snarled, and Lucidity stiffened at the hard press of him against her, eyes flying wide at such a...such a response. 

"W-what?" she gasped out. "What happened to...to no one being able to lay claim to a Guardian?" Her pulse was racing, her face burning. The tips of her fingers were starting to go numb from the pressure around her wrists and a discomfort was rising inside her, which had her groaning when her head was pulled back by the hair, baring her throat to the youkai lord. 

"In this, you are not the Guardian," he rumbled above her. "You are the woman, and you are mine. I will not tolerate another touching you, least of all that snake."

The sound that slipped from her...she supposed it could be consider a whimper, this pitiful, agonizing thing that crawled out of her throat and hung heavy in the air, this pathetic noise that had the daiyoukai growling and dragging his fangs along her skin. And then she felt that familiar, piercing pain in her nape, the hot tongue against her, and the slow trickle of blood down her shoulder. 

"S-Sesshomaru, please...." she groaned as an inexplicable sting filled her eyes, before the fangs retracted. 

She could hear the sound of each breath he took as he brought his mouth to her ear. "Do you deny it?" 

Her hands twisted in his grasp, feeble, laughable, with no true bid to break free. "I don't.... That is, I...." 

"Answer me, woman!" 

"N-no," she breathed, eyes squeezing shut, and would have hung her head, hidden her face, if his grip hadn't been so tight on her hair. "I don't...deny it. I-"

"Will you submit?" he growled.

"I.... Sesshomaru...." 

Suddenly, his hand disappeared from her hair and was thrust between her legs, and her head nearly struck the rock in an effort to hide her face. "Will you submit?" he demanded again. "Do you not want this?" 

His fingers moved against her, and she nearly choked on her voice as she cried out for him. "Yes! Gods, Sesshomaru, yes, I want it!" 

And, without warning, she was on the ground. She didn't remember falling or being pushed or anything really that led to her staring up at the youkai lord through a mess of hair, her entire frame shaking with her heart in her throat. She brushed the blonde strands from her face with a trembling hand as Sesshomaru stood over her, his expression so impassive, so collected, that she could not imagine that he was the one who'd been tormenting her. Was he not furious? Was he not prepared to strip her of all dignity? She swallowed, but couldn't find it in herself to speak. She had no idea what to say! No idea what to do! She just wanted...wanted more. And he was walking away! Utterly calm, indifferent, he was striding through the cave, his footsteps a musical betrayal in her ears as she started to rise. 

But her knees buckled and she slid back down, leaning against the rock in a defeated heap. How could he undo her so easily?! She was so aroused, so bewildered, that she could only kneel there, feeling the fine tremors in her frame. She wanted, so badly, for him to continue, to not leave her like this! She couldn't think, couldn't understand. Was he too angry with her? Did he not want her after all? She was so damn confused and frustrated...so fucking lost, to the point that she began to succumb to a plaguing weakness. She brought a hand to her face, rubbing at her eyes with a thumb and forefinger, but it did nothing to assuage the stinging burn beneath the lids.

What could she do? What could she say? She didn't know...just didn't know. 

And she sat there, her shoulders shaking, in an open display that was, to her, both humiliating and condemning. Even when she heard him return, when he crouched down, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Stray tears leaked from the corners of her eyes when a hand seized her by the upper arm and dragged her forward, into a warm, firm chest. She drew in a rattling breath as his chin came to rest on top of her head. She'd been willing, wanting, to give herself completely. And to be denied so cruelly was apparently too much.

Had she always been so...vulnerable? 

She hated it, feeling his hands on her, urging her face up. She hated being so helpless as she peered up at that achingly familiar gaze of molten gold and felt the caress of his tongue on her cheek. Fingers clutched at the daiyoukai's armor as he licked those damning tears away from one eye, then the other, and the cool touch of his lips ultimately had Lucidity turning from him, her head coming to rest against his mokomoko.

"These are your consequences," he murmured, his voice resonating above her. "I will not tolerate being the object of your amusement, not with the likes of Masami."

"Masami is harmless," she protested dully.

"The serpent does not respect me as he does you."

Startled, Lucidity found herself looking up, her cheek brushing along the soft, white fur. "What do you mean? He's always polite with you, even cordial a few times."

"Out of fear," said Sesshomaru. "He possesses no true respect. He mocks. And I will not have you sharing that with him."

"I...see...." she muttered, her attention drifting for a moment; because, she really did see, could understand the depths of his fury, rather than the simple surface of it. Combing a hand through her disheveled hair, she glanced back up at the daiyoukai. "So, my consequences are...what exactly?"

There was the slightest tilt to Sesshomaru's head and she saw his brow quirk for a fraction of a second. "You are to wait," he replied, "for a later time when I choose to sate myself with you."

She swallowed as he leaned down to bury his nose into her hair, easing his mouth against her ear, and she felt the delicate jump of a pulse in her throat.

"And you will beg for my forgiveness before this Sesshomaru is done with you," he purred, and she shivered, clinging tight and closing her eyes with a moan.

* * *

How she would make herself presentable, Lucidity didn't know. The high winds of the storm, at least, gave a ready-made excuse for her less-than-perfect appearance when she and the daiyoukai finally emerged from the cave. Her robes, she'd ensured, were smooth and firmly in place, without a wrinkle to show for any scuffling that may or may not have happened. Sesshomaru, as always, was pristine. There was not even a ruffle of irritation in his movements. And yet the look he cast in her direction, the way his eyes slid over her form, made her feel as if he was already stroking her deep inside, drawing out desires that even she didn't know were there, lying in wait just for him. And then he turned away, but not before she caught a glimpse of his mouth curling upward with a seemingly satisfied glint of fangs.

Without a doubt, in this, she was his, and would not refuse when the time came. 

However, she was forced to turn her attention to the ocean. Pleasures would have to wait. Any potential spats with the vipers would have to wait. She stared out at the uninviting waters overcast by the storm, so close now that she could feel the first telltale droplets of rain, heavier the spray of the waves. She took a step closer, towards the edge of the rocks that made up the base of the mountain. And Sesshomaru, who was walking ahead, stopped and turned back around. 

"We should have the snakes show us the site of the attacks," he said. "Come, Lucidity." 

But Lucidity shook her head. "Have them meet me out there," she told him. "Only a few. Any more and they will just get in the way." 

"You will not be going alone."

"Sesshomaru!" she began sharply, but then bit at her tongue and pursed her lips together, before letting out a sigh. "Do this for me. That's all I ask," she said. 

Oddly enough, he did not argue, but stood there in silence, the wind whipping at his hair and fur, long-fingered hands just visible inside their sleeves, as he stared at her with such a passive gaze. And then, without a word, he turned and bounded off down the rocks, back in the direction of the cove, back to the village. Lucidity stayed where she was, pleased, albeit very much surprised at his utter lack of stubbornness. Why didn't-?

Later, she decided. She would ask later. After so many days of travel, they had finally reached the coastline. But now all she wanted to do was leave, to take care of more important concerns. And the only way to accomplish that was to take care of the damn nuisance from the ocean that had grown into an unexpected and highly inconvenient threat. Scowling, she rose into the air and shot across the water, over the waves that had become erratic, and far from the security of the shore. She glanced back only once, when she heard the familiar sound of the dragon's call, and saw the snowy white beast in question still settled at the top of the mountain, no longer surrounded by any hunting parties. In the wake of everything else, she'd almost forgotten....

Oona, however, remained where she was, just as she'd been instructed to, while Lucidity drifted farther out, moving deeper into the storm. The rain steadily shifted from a gentle drizzle that tantalized to a complete downpour. She floated above the darkened, churning tides. Her eyes flashed across the gray waters, but she could see nothing, feel nothing. The ocean yielded none of its secrets to her. There were no creatures of the great depths, let alone a horde of youkai or other beings of ancient mythology. And though she was losing hope of finding anything worthwhile, she continued to search regardless, and was thoroughly drenched by the time the boat made it out to her.

Little more than a long, thin stretch of wood, albeit larger than an average fishing boat, it cut its way across choppy waters, as unstable as the mind of a certain late Seer. Sesshomaru stood at the front of the small vessel, while three vipers, Masami included, occupied the other end. The other two vipers had their backs to her and their struggles in controlling the craft were noticeable as she landed in their midst.

"I can't find anything out here," she said, pushing at the hair plastered to her forehead.

"We have not been out here long, Lady Guardian," said Masami. "Give it time."

She glanced over at him, at the odd figure he made with a new adornment of a cloak and hood. The hood, though, did little to hide the poultice packed upon his cheek. Beyond him, one of the vipers looked up from his task and she saw the reproachful animosity on the face of Hidari, which left her with no doubt as to whom he blamed for the incident in the cave.

"How long does it usually take?" she asked, ignoring him. "I'd prefer to be done before this bit of wood is capsized."

Masami did not answer, but cast her a look that suggested annoyance he was unable to express, before he gestured to his men. "Take us out farther," he commanded.

"As you will, my lord," said the other viper, and Lucidity recognized the voice of Migi, the second most trusted of Masami's warriors. "But you shall be the one who explains to my wife why I died at sea."

"You wish him to die as well?" asked Hidari. "You know that crazy wench of yours will see to it."

"It is only fair."

Lucidity left the two to their banter and went to stand beside Masami, who was leaning against the edge of the boat, peering into the water. "Are you sure that whatever has been causing the attacks is still down there?" she asked.

"No," he replied. "We have already lost too many, both from the plague and now this. It would be reckless to risk any more lives in pursuit of such a thing."

"Except for our lives?"

"For a worthy cause," said Masami. "I would die for my people. Would you not do the same for yours? Ah, wait, does a Guardian even have people? Do you have anyone other than your husband?"

Lucidity gave him a withering glare. "How's your face, Masami?"

Masami blinked, lips parting, before he began to pale upon realizing his mistake and taking a step back. He started to speak, but she was already striding away, her feet nearly sliding out from under her in the wake of the storm's hard abuse to the craft. Sesshomaru gave no acknowledgment when she managed to reach him, not even a hint of irritation that she had gone to the viper first. Like Masami, he stared out to the ocean, at what potentially awaited them beneath the surface. But as the thunder rolled overhead and the boat was steered so far out that the village began to shrink into the distance, with Oona little more than a pale speck at the peak, nothing made itself known to them.

"Is the serpent no longer entertaining?" the daiyoukai asked.

"It appears that he forgets to think before he speaks, after he's become comfortable around someone," she said.

"Hnn," came the soft grunt from Sesshomaru, and she would not be surprised if he was amused.

"And here I was about to apologize for you slicing up his face," she sighed, and Sesshomaru snorted.

Yet, before either of them could say another word, a hard wave knocked into the boat, and Lucidity lost that careful footing of hers. She caught herself on the bow, hands sliding along the wet wood, and gritted her teeth.

"Gods, I hate the water!" she hissed upon straightening and peered around. "Sesshomaru?"

He was still beside her, but any possible amusement had vanished, and his hand was clasped tightly around the hilt of Bakusaiga. The blade had barely left its scabbard when a second wave struck and Lucidity fell against the side of the boat, feeling the hard plank bite into her back. Being the Guardian did not extend to having sea legs and she was the only one who was unbalanced. By the time the boat was rocked again, she was sprawled on the deck floor, with the men standing around her, weapons drawn. She stared up at the canopy of dark clouds, at the rain that poured down as if in punishment, and the lightning that illuminate such a gray world, half expecting to catch a glimpse of tentacles rising out of the ocean to drown them all. And when she felt the unsteady sway that had become her world, felt the boat jerk with an unmistakable impact of something large and heavy, the first hint of fear snared her in its claws.

And so did Sesshomaru's fingers, gripping tight to an upper arm and yanking Lucidity to her feet. Wide, blue eyes flicked up to the daiyoukai, whose lip curled as he released her with a shove. Once more, she caught herself on the side of the boat, blinking through sodden hair at the silver figure before her.

"Either make yourself useful, woman, or get out of the way," he growled, just as whatever was down below collided again with their vessel, this time with greater force.

The boat pitched, and even the men lost their footing this time. But it was Lucidity who felt the ground disappear out from under her feet; and it was the only thing she could consciously register as she was sent tumbling overboard, headfirst, into the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how many chapters in a row I can end on cliffhangers XD! 
> 
> Hmm.... And I wonder what Sesshomaru has planned for Lucidity.
> 
> Update: 
> 
> I forgot to share this yesterday, but we have some wonderful fan art done by the amazing Lizarr! It features the Prince of Death, Morstua, and is titled "For the Win." (Also a great song by Two Steps From Hell should anyone wish to listen.) I was hoping to embed the image itself, but sadly I'm not tech savvy enough to figure out what's going on with the URL. So, here is a direct link: 
> 
> https://sta.sh/0f2liascw6v
> 
> Thank you so much, Lizarr!


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